Shattering Dusk
by Wolflvr85
Summary: Renesmee Cullen is a shy, innocent, and withdrawn young women who is eagerly pushing her way through college. As she grows and learns, she becomes even more determined not to make the same mistakes as her mom. But, when she meets Jake- a bad-boy from God knows where- everything changes. ***Mature and Lemony. This is not based on the original story line.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's 1****st**** note: If you love the Twilight Saga (which- if you are reading this, I'm guessing you do) you may really love this twist. Bella and Edward's daughter is special; but, not supernatural and neither are they. In my world they are all human, all love, and all emotion.**

**Although I try to stay true to the characters Stephenie Meyer created, I'm coming up with my own plot and story line… No vamps, No werewolves, just a sometimes naked Jake with the rest of the unbelievable characters that all hold a special place in our hearts.**

**This story is Mature. Lemons will follow soon in the next few chapters!  
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**Chapter 1**

"**Acting My Age"**

"God, 'Ness… it's not going to kill you, you know," my best friend, Bailey, huffed at me as she pulled on my arm. "No one is going to bite," she gave me a knowing smile and winked before adding, "unless you want them to."

"Oh my God," I groaned, trying to wretch my arm back from her surprisingly strong grasp. "Can't we go… to the library or something?" I seriously don't know how she gets me to do these things; and I don't know why I try to even fight her.

"The LIBRARY?!" She gaped at me. I took advantage of her momentary shock and peeled my arm out of her death grip.

Honestly, why would anyone want to spend time in a sweaty, loud, and suspiciously erotic environment? Everyone was basically just having sex with their clothes on. People were grinding against each other in rhythm with the brash music and booming subwoofers as different colored lights move and scattered across the dark red walls of the nightclub. Blushing furiously, I looked away and prayed for an open table… far away from the dance floor… far away from the bumping and grinding.

Bailey eyed me speculatively for a moment before reaching down and locking her fingers around my wrist; thinking, and possibly knowing, I will bolt out of here the first chance I got. She knew me too well.

That is why she knew that I would cave into _anything_ if she begged hard enough… and that's how she got me to come out here tonight. Actually, she guilt tripped me into it. _"Do you know how many times I've studied with you… read your manuscripts and told you a thousand times that you are going to make it as an author?"_ I flinched at the memory; remembering her frustrated face. _"Or how about the times I gave you a ride to school? Or the times I covered for you at work when you were sick. Just come out with me tonight! It'll be fun, I promise."_

God she was good.

Now, here I was, standing at the entrance of the club, wondering how long the bright red stamp would stay on my skin.

"Look," she shouted over the loud music and pointed a finger over the throng of people before waving at some girls that lived in our dorm. "There's Julie and Madison."

"Oh… great," I tried really hard not to sigh as I forced a half smile to spread across my face. Now I know I'm in for it tonight. The two girls that straddled anything with lap on campus were dramatically waving and squealing at us as if they hadn't just seen us two hours ago. What was it about running into someone you knew in a different environment than which you were used to seeing them in? I cringed as Bailey made the way through the unruly crowd, towing me behind her. People were dismissively rubbing and pushing against me- either taking their drinks to their table or making their way to the dance floor.

As soon as we made it to the table, I collapsed into the chair I planned to stay in all night.

"What's wrong, Ness?" Madison asked, noticing my discomfort.

"She didn't want to come out," Bailey answered for me. "But, she needs to be out… with people her own _age_," she inflected profoundly over the last word. I moved uncomfortably. I can't help it if I prefer my own company or my parent's company than that of others. I'm not the picture of perfection like the _other_ occupants at this table. My hair isn't naturally… or unnaturally blonde. My overly large, plain brown eyes weren't the crystal clear blue or green that they all seem to encompass. My hips flared out a little too much and my chest doesn't quite pop out of my fitted halter top the way theirs did. I was thin, plain, and my long, wavy brown hair made my skin look extraordinarily pale.

"Well, I don't know about you," Julie leaned in and, instead of whispering like she looked like she was going to do, she yelled over the loud music, "but I'm going to need a few more shots before hit the dance floor."

Quickly she raised her hand, catching the attention of a nearby server. The server, gorgeous super-model that she was, dressed in black pants and a black, button down shirt with a hot pink neck tie, flashed us an incredible smile as she dipped down to hear Julie's order with a tray full of shooters in her hand.

"Well, it's ladies night tonight," the server announced so at ease with herself and her routine. "Buttery nipple shots are only a quarter!" To emphasize her point, she displayer her tray of shooters as if she was on the_ Price of Right_. I looked down at the tubes filled with a dark cream colored liquid. It looks like something that belonged in the biology lab. That can't taste that good. It doesn't even sound pleasant… buttery nipple? My face heated just thinking about the name.

I was surprised that the server didn't ask for our I.D.'s, since we had "under-aged" stamped plainly on our skin.

"Oh, I looooove buttery nipples," Madison unblushingly added as she eagerly slapped a ten dollar bill on the table. Apparently, this indicated that we will take the whole tray and for the server to take the rest as a tip.

"Alright girls, my name is Sabrina. Holler if you need any refills." The server winked and gave us her painfully beautiful smile once more before leaving.

"Here, drink," Bailey said handing me a tube and taking one for herself.

"Uh… no thanks," I winced just thinking of how awful the buttery_ nipple_ must taste.

"Just drink!" Bailey grabbed my hand, pried open my fingers, and put the full tube in my grasp.

"I said, no," I snapped at her. "I said no to coming out tonight and now I'm saying no to the drinks!" Aggravated, I pushed the drink back towards her, but she didn't take it.

No… Instead, she uncharacteristically huffed very loudly at me. My head snapped back as my ears registered the almost growl that emanated from her throat. It was a growl indicated that I, in fact, was really getting on her nerves.

I watched her closely for a moment and gave her a look that said "the feeling was mutual."

My equally menacing look obviously threw her over the edge. "Would you just stop thinking for once and do something stupid? Do something irresponsible" she yelled. "Drop all these pretenses, Ness. No one's watching. You're not being graded on this. Ugh! God, will you just act your age for once?!" Her voice was so loud that people turn around and stared, waiting for a catfight to ensue.

I don't know if it's the fact that I didn't want to be here, feeling totally inadequate being amongst super-models, or the fact that my best friend in the whole entire world just embarrassed me in front of at least of a hundred people or so while she scolded me for the bazillionith time about acting my own age, but I felt my ebbing irritation burst through my veins as indignation filled me.

"Fine!" I yelled back. If that's the way she wants it… that's the way she'll get it.

For the first time in my life, I felt the burn of alcohol slide down my throat. I ignored Bailey while she gapped at me before I smashed the empty tube on the high black table.

Actually, that wasn't half bad. I grabbed for another one…and then another. After my sixth one, I felt exceedingly warm and less tense. The other girls at the table also seemed more comfortable that an argument between friends hadn't escalated into something they needed to pull us out of.

Whoa… my veins felt sluggish and hot as the alcohol entered into my blood stream. My body seemed to slump a little. I see now why Julie wanted to do some shots before taking on the embarrassing task of dancing in front of other people. I cringed at the thought and waved at the server to bring more. Yes…If I'm going to be acting my age- I glanced at the dance floor filled with people my age dancing like they needed a condom- then, I'm going to need to drink a few more of these before I would feel up to the task.

Glancing angrily over at Bailey, who looked shockingly upset with me for finally "acting my age," I held up my hand and sarcastically toasted the shot to her.

"To acting one's age," I deftly smiled at her while she defensively crossed her arms over her chest.

Julie and Madison picked up their shots and toasted with me. "Bottoms up!" They said before clinking plastic and, together, we swallowed the smooth, intoxicating elixir.

I ignored the fact that Bailey didn't join us… she wanted this after all. I hope she knows I'm trying to make a point. From the look on her face- she did.

"Woooooooo!" Julie added with a big grin. "That's my limit," she noted before she came around the table and grabbed my hand. "Come on, Ness, let's dance."

"Lets" I agreed before giving Bailey a meaningful glance over my shoulder. She was furious. I didn't know if it was because I was acting like she finally wanted me to, or overacting I should say, but I really didn't care anymore. She asked for it and I was trying to make a point.

Quickly, I hopped out of the chair I had considered chaining myself to earlier. Grateful that I wore my black flats, the one thing that Bailey conceded on while forcing me to get ready, I realized instantly that I was overdressed for the almost orgy taking place in the center of the dance floor. My plain, black halter top was backless, but that is where the similarities stopped for me compared to the rest of these people. My low cut jeans allowed for a peep of my mid-section but nothing tasteless. I didn't have on any clunky jewelry or cleavage ready to flop out for the world to see. No. I was just a plain Jane as far as this world was concerned. Thankful that my hair covered most of my exposed back, I allowed Julie to lead me to "her favorite spot" on the dance floor.

I unsteadily gazed around me as I weeded through the overcrowded floor. I knew how to dance… just not like this. Looking around, I tried to wrap my fuzzy mind around the task I was about to tackle head on. Seeing what other people were doing, I grasped that it was mostly just moving your hips around in a certain way while every now and then raising your arms in the air. Then, there were other… err… _ways_; but, I didn't have a date to worry about that kind of dancing.

Julie and Madison, on the other hand, looked so at peace with themselves that I found myself envying them. Shaking my head, disbelieving my thoughts, I blushed realizing that that I've called them some pretty promiscuous names before and now I envied them. I've must have had too much to drink.

As we reached their favorite, and also very cramped, spot on the floor. I began dancing, mimicking their moves discreetly. They looked awkwardly at me for a moment and I tried to hide my embarrassment and relax.

Astoundingly, a few minutes later, it actually worked. Once I relaxed, I felt the music bounce off my alcohol-fueled body. I closed my eyes and moved with the vibrations. After a while, I felt stress leave my rigid muscles as if I had just taken a run. This was such a great release; it was good exercise, too.

After an hour of dancing— and pushing several wandering hands off of my ass— I wandered back over to the table with Julie and Madison. Evidently, our "buzz" had faded off and they were in need of more shots.

Julie had a guy following her around like a puppy. It must have been the way she was grinding into his crotch that made him her lap dog. He left right before we got back to the table, promising to bring some drinks back.

I was surprised to find Bailey more upset when we returned to the table. I felt a stab of guilt slice through me. She was my best friend after all… and I knew I'd hear about this later. But, this is what she wanted and I was going to do whatever I had to, to ensure that she would never again ask me to go to a club with her.

Needing to use the restroom for the past half-hour, I quickly located the pink and blue neon signs that directed patrons to the lavatories. Holding in a groan at the long line waiting to enter the latrines, I slumped against the dark red walls and waited my turn.

Feeling the cold wall against my side, I leaned in and placed my hot cheek against the wall. It felt amazing. I turned from side to side, letting it cool me; ignoring the thoughts of numerous unsanitary hands that must have touched the wall at some point.

I was so caught up in the momentary coolness of the concrete red walls, that I flushed the same color when I noticed a guy in the line across from mine staring at my reddened face with an amused expression growing on his.

Oh my God! Gasping, I instantly turned back in to the wall and decided to face it for the rest of my wait. How embarrassing?

"Warm?" His deep, smooth voice, though low, sounded over the loud music and voices chattering in the hall. Equally shocked as I was embarrassed, my eyes rocketed back to him to make sure I heard right.

He was looking at me with a slight half smile playing on his lips. My brain registered his annoyingly teasing tone and smile. Funnily enough, my heart seemed to notice his smile as well because it started reacting oddly. My eyes scraped down his body and then back. He was ridiculously good looking. I'd never been so torn in my life. I felt like punching him with one hand and ripping off his shirt with the other.

Feeling my breath quicken, I shook my head furiously and managed to throw him a blatant sarcastic smile. I mean, really? Why would he ask me that? Immediately, I felt stupid for even dropping my guard long enough to forget where I was when I rubbed my hot face on the cold walls of a night club.

Trying with everything inside of me to not look back at probably the most handsome face I'd ever seen in my life, I felt a presence grow closer to me. Confused that I felt that way in such close quarters with other people, I looked around to find the man a few inches from me.

I gasped again as I looked up, my neck craning all the way back. God he was tall. Six foot seven at the very least. A full smile brightened up his bronzed complexion and I felt my heart quicken once more. He was heartbreakingly beautiful. It almost hurt to look at him. His short, cropped black hair reflected the neon lights around us. His molten chocolaty eyes were focused on mine and somehow still glowed seductively in the dark environment. His dark coppered skin was hidden underneath a black t-shirt that was obviously too tight because of how defined his muscles were underneath. I had to catch my hand from running down the front of his shirt, curious to feel what lay underneath.

Wait…what? What was I thinking? I can't believe I just had to stop myself from stroking a complete stranger. The finest looking stranger I'd ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on, but a stranger nonetheless.

"I'm Jake," he told me, reaching out his hand.

Of course he was. Even his name was hot.

I looked around at all the girls in line with me. They all seemed to notice him as well, and from the looks of it, were having a hard time keeping their hands off of him, too. I flushed when they all looked back at me waiting for me to respond.

"I… um… Renesmee," I placed my hand into his huge grasp and shook once. I could see my name confusing his thoughts for a moment- as it did to most people- but I couldn't think enough right now to explain. All I could concentrate on was the waves of electricity flowing between our connected hands; almost pulling us together. As he stepped closer, I found myself doing the same.

"What was that," he asked rather softly. I flushed immediately. Here I was thinking electricity was bringing us closer and he just stepped in to hear my name.

"Renesmee," I repeated a little louder before adding peevishly "Ness for short."

"Ness," Jake smiled at me again and my heart almost stopped. I had an odd thought filter through my mind that almost had my brain exploding. I'd like to see that smile every day for the rest of my life: Morning, noon, and night. I wanted to wake up next to that smile and let it be the last thing I saw when I went to sleep at night.

And then, I actually found myself getting angry that he was able to disarm me so quickly. Where was my heavily guarded shield that allowed me to keep everyone out of my personal space?

Ever since the only boy I ever dated for two years in high school cheated on me, I decided to live my life for myself. I didn't need friends that would lure my hormone enraged, teenage boyfriend into the backseat of her car just because she could. I didn't need a hormone enraged, teenage boyfriend. I didn't need to drink or get high. I needed to make something of _myself_. I needed an education and a promising future as an author. That was my goal, my dream… everything I wanted wrapped up tight in my impenetrable bubble that he seemed to burst through with his perfect hair and smile.

Grateful that the line was moving at a decent rate, I stepped forward several times to catch up; remembering my purpose for actually standing there in the first place. I was shocked that he moved with me.

"So, Ness," he began before I found myself focused on his mouth once more. The way his tongue played with my name did unusual things to my belly. Uncomfortable with the direction of my thoughts, I forced myself to look away. "You gonna to be here all night?"

"God, I hope not" I grumbled. I didn't want to be here to start with. I was only _still _here because I was trying to make a point. But I wasn't going to tell him that.

I looked back at him in time to watch his face morph slightly. He looked like he understood something I did not and looked away from me, his unusual interest in me probably quenched.

Just when I thought he'd leave, which I wondered why he hadn't already, a hand came around the front of his black shirt and grabbed his chest. The feminine hand was so provocative as it moved to grab him, that I had to look away at his surprised but expectant face. Oh great. The only guy that had caught my interest in the past three years was being groped by a girl in front of me… obviously I needed to walk away now before I lost myself in his aura.

Seeing an opening to bolt from possibly one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, I slid silently into the open female's bathroom door and away from Mr. Gorgeous.

Waiting inside for a stall to open up, I tried to calm my breathing; but, the more I thought about it… the more upset I became. Why would he openly embarrass me like that? I was just standing there minding my own business. Of course he didn't know it would embarrass me. Perhaps I was just upset because of the way I mapped out our whole lives a split second after meeting him. Or, perhaps it was just the night in general that was pissing me off.

After taking care of my needs, I stood at one of the sinks and pulled my hair into a messy bun while others around me primed, prodded, and glossed. Thankfully, I felt instantly cooler. My hair could hold in the heat and my warm back reveled in the cool air hitting my bare skin.

Pushing Jake from my mind, I left the restroom hoping never to see him again. That thought lasted only for about three seconds. I stopped dead in my tracks as I noticed him leaning against the wall rather handsomely… like he was waiting for someone.

My breath caught in my throat. I definitely needed to stay away from him. He was just too attractive for his own good. And I had the feeling that he knew it too. Once he saw me, his primal glance eyed me up and down as if I stood before him completely naked. I felt myself flush trying to remember that I was actually clothed and didn't need to hide any exposed body parts. Surely he hadn't been waiting for me. Jeez, who was this guy?

Recognizing that I looked slightly different with my hair up, he approached me. "Ness" he asked, his eyes emanating sex appeal.

Oh my God… he was waiting for me. I smiled and then immediately frowned. I was not happy about this. My first reaction was to smile because I was actually very flattered that he had been waiting for me. My frown was because I smiled a little too quickly for my liking.

"You look a little different… it's you, right?"

I wanted to say, "No" but the words just wouldn't come out. Honestly, the way he looked at me made me want to be… _whoever_ he wanted me to be.

I narrowed my eyes at him. It must be the booze talking. My virgin body and brain could never have come up with an idea so provocative on its own.

"Err, yeah," I muttered, wanting to flee.

"Would you like to—"

"Jake!" A voice behind us caught his attention. "C'mon man we got to get ready before we're up!"

Jake looked back at the man who interrupted whatever he was going to say. I took advantage of the moment once again and slipped out of the conversation entirely. I didn't like the way he made me feel. I mean… I liked the way he made me feel; but, perhaps a little too much.

Walking with an extreme amount of purpose back to my table, I recognized Julie's, err, dance partner/lapdog? He shot me a smiling glance that was nowhere in the same league as Jake's. Great. Now I was already comparing him against other men.

I noticed that he had his hands full. Before I could offer to help him, he smiled at me as he nodded towards the table; a blatant sign for me to follow. Had he been waiting this long to get drinks?

"Here you go, ladies," the unnamed man announced as he brought five shots down onto the table. I was surprised when a server came from behind us and set down five more. My eyes quickly flowed to the drinks. I wasn't sure I could do anymore. The liquid inside the short, clear shot glasses was golden, but, what caught my eyes mostly were the limes that had been cut in quarters and laid in a larger glass next to the shots. I eyed everyone curiously.

Knowing the game all too well, Julie and Madison licked the back of their hands and sprinkled salt on the wet area. I felt my eyes grow larger as I watched. What in the hell were they doing? Shockingly, they licked the back of their salty hands again and tossed back their heads.

Stunned, I felt my mouth fall open as they, along with the man, slammed the empty shot glasses upside down on the table, grabbed a lime, and with a mouth full of sour liquid, made the required face for the green fruit.

"Wooooo," Julie expressed for the second time tonight; "feel the burn!"

They all look towards me expectantly. I swallowed cautiously in response. Maybe I've pressed this façade too far. My eyes glanced at Bailey. She was wearing a sneer and an "I dare you" look on her face. Feeling angrily emboldened by her expression, I licked my hand, sprinkled the salt, and tossed back the shot.

Oh. My. God!

"You were supposed to lick the salt first," Julie laughed as she informed me of how ridiculous I must have looked.

I sputtered and chokingly swallowed the fiery amber liquid. It scorched my throat all the way down.

I felt my face twist and mold into something unpleasant. Why would anyone do that on purpose? Julie's "feel the burn" comment came into perfect clarity.

With a sigh of frustration, mostly directed at me, Bailey refused her shot. Julie's lapdog was only too happy to line up the next shot for all of us. Swaying slightly, I grabbed at the table and almost started to refuse the next round as my vision blurred marginally. I could feel a thick veil fog up my brain. No wonder people got drunk. For the first time all night, I actually smiled and look around the club, feeling at ease in this new environment.

"Why not," I said aloud, but more to myself than anyone else before I picked up the drink.

As it burned a trail down my neck, I realized I really didn't care anymore what the people around me were thinking. I didn't really care about anything, actually. Now, I wanted to dance. I want to let loose more. It's kind of fun.

Making sure Bailey didn't want either of her shots, I downed them both without the salt or the lime. My tongue was kind of numb anyways. I'm not even sure if I tasted the tequila that last time.

Turning around, I waited for a moment for the world to catch up with my movements. Chuckling to myself, I raised my hand up and down as I watched it closely. Huh… there was a trail… it's was like the world was moving in slow motion.

Not caring if anyone wanted to join me, I clumsily walked through the multitudes of people back to the spot I was dancing at before. I'm not sure why… but I just wanted my spot back.

Not wasting anytime, I started moving my hips just the way I saw everyone around me do. Who cared if I looked stupid? I'd never see any of these people again anyways. Feeling a little giddy at the thought, I started running my hands up and down my body before letting my hair fall out of the bun. After a moment, I was a little braver as I moved to the constant beat of the music. I don't know what came over me, but, I felt kind of sexy.

Knowing that I probably must have looked ridiculous, I shocked myself even further when I didn't slap wandering hands away from my body this time. Different men would pull me close at some point, and I would do the very same thing that I detested when I first walked through the front doors.

Liquid courage obviously made my inhibitions plummet off the Empire State Building. I honestly couldn't believe the person I was turning into. Alcohol made me someone I most definitely was not. But, it also let me unwind years of pent up anxieties. I spent far too long keeping myself in check so I wouldn't make the same mistake my mom did.

I chuckled to myself. I was finally letting go and I really didn't mind it. I owed Bailey a huge thanks, even if she wasn't ready to hear it.

At one point, I'm pretty sure I was grinding rather furiously against someone's hard and muscular front when the curtains on the stage near me opened. I stared up at the stage for moment, wondering how many other people didn't realize it was there. Curious, I stopped dancing and watched.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the D.J. from the other side of the room caught my attention. "That's my cue. It's been wonderful serving you all tonight. I'm going to let the band take over from here on out. Make sure your come out next Thursday night when I will be here bumping it out with D.J. Fizzle. Don't forget to keep a rockin' and your boots a knockin'!" The people around me erupted at his words. I flushed to think about who's boots would be knockin' who's. "G'night everybody."

Turning back to the stage, I noticed two guys hooking up their guitars up to amplifiers. They were decent looking. One of them looked like Adam Levine's much darker twin. The other had the same dark skin, longer black hair, a red bandana, and enough tattoos that made him look like he must have owned a Harley. I continued to watch as a shirtless man walk up to the drums. I couldn't see him very well, but I watched as he skillfully twirled drumsticks through his fingers, listening to an unheard beat in his head.

And, then, my world stopped. With my mouth gaped open and my heart thudding as quickly as the D.J. head- splitting beat, Mr. Gorgeous walked across the stage. Sitting down on a stool in front of his band, Jake slid around the guitar he'd been carrying around his neck and leaned into the microphone.

For the second time tonight, my neck craned all the way back just to look at him.

"Good evening gentlemen," his deep voice blasted around me through the sound system. He leaned down, and with a fiercely seductive glance, he basically eye-fucked all the females near the front of the stage. "Ladies," he greeted as every girl in the house screamed and fanatically clawed their way forward to get near him.

Me… I stood frozen… in awe. He's more gorgeous now then he was near the bathrooms. I couldn't believe it. A tattoo I hadn't noticed before peeked out from under his short sleeve on his upper right arm. I normally detested tattoos, but his tribal-looking one made my breath catch in my throat. When I looked back at him, I was rooted to the floor as I noticed him watching me. Somehow his eyes had found me in the huge crowd of people.

Just when I thought he couldn't shock me anymore tonight, that earth-shattering smile of his spread across his face and he actually winked at me… me…. He winked at me!

Several women, and some _men,_ turned and looked to see who he was admiring. As so many eyes made contact with mine, I wanted to crawl into my body. I wanted to somehow, like a black hole in space, be sucked into a vacuum of non-existence.

Before anyone kept their eyes on me for too long, he was already talking again. "We got a few new ones tonight, I hope you enjoy the show."

With that, all the lights on stage shut off. I heard the faint clicking of drumsticks as the drummer started a beat and then they were again; lit up with blue and purple lights in the back and a spot light on Jake.

Everyone around me seemed to recognize the song. They must be frequent visitors because I had never heard it before. Oddly enough, I found myself swaying a bit to their music. They were good… really good. Jake's voice was as smooth as silk with a slight, sexy rasp to it. And, with that face of his, he was obviously meant for bigger and better things in life.

I bit my lip as I watched him with, quite frankly, carnal eyes. I swayed slowly back and forth. It didn't matter if it was a fast song or a ballad. I could barely move just watching him. He was the incarnation of sex. He was the epitome of gorgeous male testosterone.

I found myself unable to look away. I'm not even sure how long I had been standing there enraptured by this perfect specimen. It wasn't until Bailey's beat red face jerked me from my trance that I registered time was actually still moving.

"I'm ready to go," she snapped at me.

I looked back up to Jake, who seemed to be watching us… or maybe it was my imagination. I was feeling a bit loopy at the moment.

"Well I don't want to," I jerked my hand out of hers, ignoring my slurred speech, and I refocused my gaze on the one man who actually held my interest.

"You've made your point!" She grabbed my shoulder, her voice too close to my ear. I jerked back. "Just let me take you home before you become another statistic."

I felt my jaw grow slack at her comment. What was that supposed to mean?

"That means, I see that you're drunk," I blinked at her, realizing that I must have asked the question aloud. "You're drooling over sex god up there and you've let about half a dozen guys stick there co—"

"Bailey!" I yelled before she could finish her sentence.

"What the truth too harsh for you? You were grinding against them as if your ass had been itching for a year!"

My jaw dropped to the floor.

"Like I said, you've made your point. Can we go now?"

I was unable to glance back at Mr. Gorgeous because Bailey didn't wait for me to respond. She was unearthly strong for the tiny young woman that she was and all but dragged me across the dance floor by the arm.

I instantly gave up on trying to fight her because the world swished or swirled around me. Oh right… this is why I never wanted to drink. Two seconds after the fresh air hit my face outside, I lost it. The dark cream colored liquid and tequila wasn't as pretty coming back up as it was going down. As a matter of fact, it didn't taste as good coming back up as it did going down. My stomach heaved again and again. It took me a while to realize that I was bent over some bushes on the side of the building while Bailey held my hair away from my face. As my stomach settled, I closed my eyes to stop seeing the wavy world around me and allowed her to drag me to her car.

**A**s the sun decided to nail my brain to the wall the next morning, I peeked open my eyes and remembered very quickly-again- why I didn't drink. I slowly sat up on my bed. My head pounded with each breath as I tried to recollect just how I got here.

I made it back to my dorm room, but how? I closed my eyes against the pounding beat keeping rhythm in my head while vaguely remembering the drive home last night. Bailey was there… I think.

I instantly flinched at the memory of violently vomiting in her car. I remembered her shocked/I'm-going-to-kill-you- face. Yeah. She was there. Just as if on cue, she opened the door before kicking it shut… very loudly. I flinched as the loud noise reverberated over and over in my head.

"Was that really necessary," I asked her, my throat dry and scratchy. I swallowed painfully, almost willing my mouth to produce some type of saliva to help rid the wretched taste that had formed overnight.

She turned around and glared at me. And not the normal: your-my-best-friend-but-you-really-just-pissed-me- off glare, but a full-fledged I-seriously-contemplated-killing-you-at-some-point glare.

"Oh, you're awake," she feigned shock. "Is there anything I can get for you," she asked even louder.

I cringed, knowing I'm in for it. "Yes, water."

Her eyes widen even further. Oh… so she wasn't really asking me if I wanted anything… she was just being a smartass.

She stomped to the bathroom and I heard the water turn on before she returned with three Advils and a cup of water. She was too good of a person to deny her best friend. I smiled. I guess I'm not so much in the dog house as I once thought.

Bailey decided to painfully remind me of every embarrassing moment last night. Eventually, though, she started laughing and I knew I was forgiven. She admitted that she _did_ want me to finally let go; but, not in the way that I did… and not without her joining in on the fun.

Since I had a class today, I decided to skip it for the very first time in my college career. Later that afternoon, after a very hot shower, I started to feel like I was human again. I decided coffee may even make me feel better; so, I made my way to one of the coffee shops near campus. The University of Washington was huge, but after a year and a half I had finally gotten used to it.

As I made my way into the shop, the aroma's filled my senses. Instead of making me feel nauseated, which I sort of planned on happening, my body rivaled in one of my most favorite scents in the world.

At the counter, I was somehow talked into buying a bear claw from the barista. I hated saying no to people… ugh. I needed to figure out how to start saying no. Maybe if I could, last night wouldn't have happened.

I quickly spotted an open table by the window and collapsed into. Setting down my unwanted treat and coffee, I sighed and closed my eyes, allowing the heat from my vanilla latte intoxicate me. This was an intoxication I could handle. With my face pointed down at the table, I opened my eyes. Strangely, familiar brown eyes peered back at me. I stilled as I stared at a glossy picture. Confused, I picked the flyer off of the table and examined it. Thirty seconds later, memories flooded back to me and I gasped.

Mr. Gorgeous… and the rest of his band were looking back at me. I examined it closely.

_WolfPack_

_August 12_

_PERFORMING LIVE _

_at the _

_CAMPUS COMPLEX_

My eyes skimmed over the fees required at the door; but, my attention was quickly averted back to… him.

"Hey" a voice came from behind me.

I froze; the voice was deep, low, and somehow recognizable. I turned slightly. When his beautiful face came into my view I didn't know quite how to respond. I quickly noted that he was holding a bunch of flyers in his hand while my brain screamed at me to reply, but I couldn't. My head throbbed with each beat of my heart. While it hurt to even keep my eyes open, I'm not sure if it was my hangover or irony banging a huge drum in my head.

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**Sorry for any errors- No Beta as of yet! Leave a review and let me know what you think! ;)**


	2. Chapter 2: Mr Gorgeous

**Chapter 2**

**Mr. Gorgeous**

_Speak, Stupid!_ I yelled within, praying my mouth would listen. He seemed to notice my internal struggle and his devilishly handsome grin turned into a sincere, yet, seductive smile.

"Um… hi." I tried really, really hard to look away, but my eyes were somehow glued to his.

"Can I join you?" He gazed at the open seat next to me… not the other three chairs at the table.

I looked back down at his hands, my eyes finally having the free will to move once more. He had nothing to join me with. No coffee… no doughnut…

He caught my movements and added, "If you don't mind."

_Yes. Yes, I do mind… _But, "no," somehow found its way out of my mouth. I flushed.

"No you don't want me to or no you don't mind?"

I finally turned back to the table and put down the flyer I had apparently strangled to death during… whatever this was. I didn't know how to answer him. How did I even have the courage to say what little I did to him last night? Oh… right… alcohol.

"I don't… mind."

He didn't say anything as he sat down next to me. I focused my gaze on the bear claw in front of me.

I swear minutes passed as we just sat there, tension building between us with the uncomfortable silence. Finally, when I couldn't take it anymore, my eyes curiously made their way to his oh so beautiful face.

"Hi," he remarked with his panty-dropping grin. I felt my heart plunge into my stomach. Was he purposefully trying to mess with me?

"Didn't we already cover that?" I replied somewhat sarcastically, refocusing on the sweet treat… the edible one…Ugh… the one I had to pay for. God, this man was exactly what I've been trying to avoid all these years. He's turned me into a dribbling mess.

"Yes… but I usually like to look at women when I talk with them." My eyes flew to his, hearing the challenge in his voice. He _was_ messing with me.

"You must look at women a lot, then." I remarked, somehow remembering the woman's hand on his chest from last night.

Curious if I had just insulted him or not, his head tilted to the side before his smile reappeared. He knew I had just basically called him a whore. Which really wasn't my intention... well, yeah it kind of was.

"You sound jealous."

A very loud, very annoying, and very embarrassing snort escaped me. Oh my God.

"Jealous," I repeated the word as if I didn't understand it. "Why would I be jealous? I don't even know you."

Jake leaned forward, painfully close to me. I sensed he was testing an invisible boundary, but I was bound and determined not to move. I was establishing _my_ boundaries. God he smelled good.

"You do know me. We met last night before you left me high and dry," he said with such a deep voice it almost vibrated my chest. "Twice… if I remember correctly."

I tried to look away from his eyes again, but his gaze was not wavering… so, neither would mine. "I didn't leave you high and anything."

One of his eyebrows shot up immediately. I knew he was questioning me… silently, of course, or calling me a liar.

"I must have imagined it then." His voice sounded almost wounded, but his eyes sparkled with teasing sentiments.

"You must have," I replied coolly. He finally looked down at the table, giving me an opportunity to do the same.

"It's funny, though," he began and I could almost see the wheels in his brain turning. Where was he going with this? "I could have sworn I saw a girl that looked just like you at a club last night. She even told me her name… right after I caught her rubbing her body all over the wall like some—"

"I was not rubbing my body all over the wall," I snapped at him before realizing my mistake too late.

"Oh, so it was you?" His triumphant smile made me want to smack him… it made me want to kiss him.

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling and sighed. "Yes, it was me."

"Was that so hard?" The smile he gave me after that was so warm and inviting, I had to bring a hand to my mouth to hide my own.

_Yes… that was physically painful!_

"It's, Rene…" he began, but had to think for a moment. "Ness, isn't it?"

"Renesmee, yes. But everyone calls me Ness. And no, I don't know what my mom was thinking when she named me." Why was I still talking to him? Get your butt up and walk away now!

"Re-nes-mee," he sounded out each syllable. "I like it."

"You'd be the first."

"I doubt that," his face was completely serious. So serious that I felt my heart pick up a bit.

After another moment of slightly more comfortable silence, he noticed the strangled flyer near my doughnut. His smirk faltered while his eyes became almost cold. "You could have just thrown that in the trash, you know?"

"I wasn't…" I gasped, not knowing how to respond. "I didn't mean too… I mean… I wasn't trying to mess it up… it's just that… you…" God, just STOP TALKING! You sound like a stumbling idiot!

"So, you're coming then?" His voice was so sensual that I had to repeat his words over in my head to make sure there was no double entendre.

"I, uh…"

Realizing that he put me on the spot, he tried something different. "Here, let's start over again."

_What?_

"I'm Jake," he said putting his hand out to greet mine. "And you are?"

I briefly remembered in my drunken foggy mind the electricity that I had felt last night when he touched me. Maybe it was the alcohol making me believe there was something there when there really wasn't; but I was still a little intimidated to find out. Pulling strength from somewhere deep inside of me, I slid my trembling hand into his large, warm grasp.

"Ness," I stated.

Just when I knew I had imagined it—there is was. An almost shocking current flowed between our connected hands. I gasped and tried to pull away but he held on tight. If I wasn't so sure it couldn't be possible… I'd say he was feeling it too.

"Ness," he replied with a questioning tone. "Is that short for something?" His teasing half grin was breathtaking.

I laughed that time.

Jake's head leaned to the side once more, almost curiously. "That's beautiful."

Too much into my own merriment to understand, I replied. "What?"

"Your laughter." If his eyes weren't entirely earnest, I would've continued laughing.

Before I could think any more about it, he was talking once more. "So, Ness… I'm in this band," his handsome playful, smirk was making my belly do flips. "We are going to be playing on campus tomorrow night. How about you and I meet up afterwards? Maybe get a drink or something."

Not knowing how to respond, I closed my mouth realizing it had dropped open at some point.

"Are _you_ asking _me_ out?" I hadn't meant to… I really hadn't meant to say it; but, it just came out of my mouth.

"Yes, Mrs. Obvious," he chuckled. "That was my roundabout way of asking you out. Something I was trying to do last night when you kept disappearing on me."

"You were trying to ask me out last night?" My jaw fell open again. Was I _that_ oblivious or that drunk?

He laughed again, clearly amused by me. "Didn't we already cover this," he repeated my words back to me.

I flushed; but, it wasn't from embarrassment, it was from shock.

"So what do you say? Drinks after?"

"I don't drink," I muttered, still surprised that this beautiful creature actually wanted to go out with me. Was this a joke or something? I looked around for anyone watching us. I've heard of guys betting each other to try to get girls to go out with them. No one's attention was on us… maybe just on him.

"Are you trying to make this difficult or do you just like telling fibs?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well last night you seemed to have had a few."

Oh… right… he must really think I _am_ a liar.

Feeling the need to explain but not wanting to go into too much detail, I replied, "It was my first time. I was just basically doing it to piss off my best friend." His face was so intrigued that I had to continue, "She says that I 'never act my age,'" I rolled my eyes. "She's said it so much…I was drinking to prove a point."

He was completely amused this time, "and your point was?"

I froze. What was my point?

"Um… well… that acting one's age is… subjective." My tone was so unsure that it sounded more like a question. Clearing my throat, I continued, "that you don't have to drink to have a good time or go to clubs and act like a slut meet guys."

He seemed a little frustrated with my answer, but after a moment, he smiled. "So no to drinks, but what about," he looked around at where we were, "coffee?"

"Coffee," I repeated.

"It's something I know you are not judgmental about." His statement told me that I somehow offended him. After the way I treated him last night and today… I honestly didn't know why he was still talking to me.

My silence was clearly something he wasn't used to.

"Well, can I have your number and you can think about it?"

"My number?"

"Is there a parrot in the room? Yes, the thing you give to people so they can call you" he replied adorably, holding up his hand to his ear, mimicking a phone with his thumb and pinky.

Normally I would have said something smart-alecky, but the way he looked at me made my knees weak. There was something charming about his cockiness; enchanting, even.

I grew brave just by his eyes alone. "Give me your phone."

He looked at me for a moment, smiled, and then moved to retrieve his phone from his front pocket. As he moved, I couldn't help but notice his abdominal muscles underneath his thin, white, tee. They too were enchanting to look at.

When he handed me his phone with the contacts list open, I added my number to his cell. For reasons I can't even explain I put a winky face after my name. A WINKY FACE? REALLY?!

I regretted it the second I handed him back his phone. Why… why on earth would I do something so… not me?

"Well, I gotta go. Seth will kill me if I don't finish handing these out," Jacob stated, leaning forward before standing up. As he looked down at me, there was a gleam in his eye, like, he had won something.

"Seth?"

"Yeah, our manager/bassist."

"Oh, cool." Cool… did I just say cool? God, I'm such an idiot.

"Yeah," he chuckled before adding, "I'll call you soon."

I really tried hard to not watch his backside as he walked away. And, then I tried not flushing a million shades of red, when he turned around and caught me. He's too distracting for his own good… for my own good. Whether or not I couldn't stop smiling, I had the feeling that he was the end of me.

When I got back to the dorms, Bailey was tossing clothes out of her closet onto her bed. There was a huge heap that definitely wasn't there when I left. I had debated on the way home if I was going to tell her about Mr. Gorgeous. I decided keeping this as my little secret would be best for now.

"Ugh!" I heard her groan from inside her tiny closet. "I have nothing to wear!" My eyes wandered back to the heap. She had nothing to wear? She could clothe the entire dorm with this pile alone.

I was a little surprised when she came out of the closet and saw me. Her face turned from frustrated to over-the-top ecstatic.

"Oh my, God" she squealed, running to me and latching her hands around my forearms. "You'll never believe what just happened!"

"What?" Her excitement was contagious as I smiled back at her.

"I won tickets to go see Mumford and Sons and Ed Sherran in concert!"

"Who?" Their names kind of sounded familiar, but I really had no clue who she was talking about. I was more of a 70's classic rock kind of girl.

"Oh my God, Ness! This is exactly what I was talking about when I said you should act your age. They are sooo hot right now. C'mon. I won two tickets and you're coming with me!"

"Me?" Why… why me? "I don't know," I groaned as I sat next to the huge heap.

Bailey was on her way back to the closet and stopped after she heard me. When she turned around, I realized that being shocked was her new favorite expression.

"Oh, you're going," she demanded while she nodded and pointed a very pointy finger at me. "I cleaned puke out of your hair _and_ out of my car. You owe me. We're going. And, I'm not taking no for an answer."

Knowing she had me between a rock and hard place, she smirked and went about her task of searching for something to wear. Feeling exposed by just the thought of going, I cringed knowing I'd have to suck this one up.

"Fine… but_ I_ really don't have anything to wear."

Bailey snorted from inside her closet. "Oh please you have a whole closet full of clothes."

I rolled my eyes and almost said the same thing back to her; but kept my mouth closed once again. I obviously wasn't completely forgiven for the fiasco last night.

"And I'm doing your makeup."

I started to object but bit down on my tongue. Once I do this… I won't "owe" her anything and things can go back to being… normal.

As if irony hadn't had enough of me today, my phone chirped with a sound of a text message. It reminded how "not-normal" things were going to be.

_Hope your giving our date some thought._

_-J_

The odd phone number had me baffled for at least a whole minute. No one had ever texted me about a date before. Of course I'd never given my number to anyone before…other than friends and family.

Just as I realized it was Jake, my phone was jerked from my hands. I snapped my neck up to Bailey; her curiosity obviously piqued once she noticed me blushing and grinning at my phone like the idiot he was turning me into.

I immediately tried to get it back, but she held the phone as far away from her as she could while keeping me at bay.

"Oh my God!" She gazed at me with her favorite expression. "Who is J?"

"No one. Give me my phone back!" I hated how strong she was and for such a tiny person… it was really ridiculous.

"No. Nu-uh. Not until you tell me who J is."

Like a five year old, I slammed my body back on her bed and crossed my arms over my chest. Since we were in the 9th grade, Bailey had been my best friend. She knew every secret of my life. She knew every heartbreak and every joy. But this was one thing I wasn't going to tell her about. I'd never hear the end of it.

"It's a wrong number, Bay. Just give me my phone back, please." I held my hand out for my phone, but I knew she wasn't going to give it back. Honestly, why was I even trying?

"You just lied to me!" She gaped at me before explaining. "Your ears always turn red when you lie. I can't believe you totally just lied to my face after—"

She kept going on and on while I began to tune her out. I already made my mind up. This would be one battle she wouldn't win. I needed some privacy after all. And, I'm not even sure that this is something I wanted or needed to talk about yet.

After she realized I wasn't listening anymore a strange emotion floated over her face. That's when I realized my mistake too late… for the second time today. Stunned that it was happening, I couldn't move as I watched. Yep—of course she was. She was texting him back!

"No!" I leapt for the phone just as I heard the sound of a returning message being sent.

Enraged and speechless, I watched, open-mouthed as she gave me back my phone. With a triumphant smile, she walked happily back to her closet.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to rant, kick, punch, and… UGH! I can't believe she did that. I was going to kill her. I was really about to kill my best friend. With trembling hands, I glanced down at my phone, reading the message she sent.

_I've thought about it. :)_

_When do you want to pick me up?_

_~Renesmee_

Anger boiled in my veins. She just crossed the line. She just…

I felt the phone vibrate in my hand as the familiar sound wafted around the room.

_Right after the show. _

_Meet me backstage?_

_-J_

"What did he say," she asked, peeking her head out of the closet; a knowing smile playing on her lips.

I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Don't be mad… I knew you'd never do it on your own."

I wanted to yell at her but my heart thudded harshly in my chest. Tomorrow… I will be on my first date since I was in high school.

What do I do? What will I say? It's been three years since I went on a date. Todd Mitchell broke my heart at my junior prom by sleeping with one of my "friends." Since that day, I swore I'd never date again. I'm not sure I can do this. I'm different now. I'm almost twenty years old. The game's changed a little. Guys expect more out of women my age. The thought had my stomach in knots.

"Hello," Bailey's voice sounded through my head. "Aren't you going to thank me?"

My jaw fell open at her audacity. "Thank you? Thank _you_?" I repeated, angrily shocked. Taking in a deep breath I clenched my teeth shut and added "No… I will not thank you." I furiously walked up to Bailey, towering a few inches taller, I glared at her. "Don't. Ever. Do. That. Again." After trying to make my voice as intimating as possible, a thought pierced through my mind. It made me smile. "I believe that just made us even."

Bailey's eyes narrowed at me. "No. That made us even for the vomiting. You still owe me for ditching me last night to make your drunken 'point,'" she snapped with finger quotes.

I rolled my eyes and wanted to argue, but, I honestly was kind of looking forward to seeing a real concert. I'd never been to a concert that wasn't classical before. My dad was a lover of the fine arts. He could play the piano flawlessly for hours on end. I loved to listen to him play. It was so comforting.

"Whatever," I murmured as I walked away, feigning disinterest.

That night, I stared back at the mirror; hardly recognizing myself under all the make-up and extremely fitted jeans. The overly large, black, radio contest winner shirt that we had to wear to the show had been tailored, rolled, and tied into a knot by my overzealous best friend. Obviously, it had been a waste of time trying to find something to wear to the show.

On the way to the concert, there was an unusual, excited type of energy filling Bailey's tiny, silver Honda Civic. Feeling anxious, I kept my eyes on the hot pink Hawaiian lei that hung on her rear view mirror. The pink flowers had a calming sway to them brought on by her excessive speed and shoddy breaks. Why is it everyone in my life drives like a maniac; my father being the worst of them all! I swear sometimes it is like he had a radar gun in his head- as he always knew where the cops were.

As we arrived at KeyArena in Seattle, my nerves were slightly on edge. There were so many people in the parking lot it was mind boggling. Once I stepped out of the car, all I could see were thousands of people all heading to the same place we were. I was sort of glad I had decided to only stick my license, credit card, and cell in my back pocket; purses just seem like a nuisance at this point.

As if there was an announcement to alert everyone to our presence, it appeared as if all eyes turned to look at me and Bay; disapproval prevalent on some of their faces. I instantly regretted coming. I wanted to shy away and stand behind my best friend. Let her catch the looks, I'd rather not be seen. Thankfully, she also noticed the attention and wrapped her arm around mine, slowing pushing me onward in her own knowing way.

Once we got inside, and through the multitude of stadium attendants and people, I was surprised to see that we had front row seats. I was even more surprised to see other contest winners were in the same row. It became crystal clear as to why we were receiving so many disapproving looks. I quickly sat down completely aware of all the paying customer's eyes on me. They had probably paid a hefty price to see their favorite band. I, on the other hand, got in for free and haven't even heard of Ed Whoever or Mumford and Brothers… or whatever their names were.

"I can't believe I actually won something," Bailey said, shaking her head in disbelief. "I never win _anything."_

I smiled down at her, her excitement too infectious to ignore. "I can't believe we got front row seats," I added excitedly.

"I know, right?" She said, shifting her weight in the uncomfortable metal seats we were currently occupying. "So, uh, you going to tell me who _J_ is now or you going to keep a secret from me?"

I bristled at her questioning, remembering the moment she saw the text on my phone. I know she was my best friend, but I wasn't sure I was ready to tell her about him yet. She saw me last night at the club, staring up at him like an idiot while he was on stage, singing. I was enamored with his beauty even then. He was tall, dark, and dangerously beautiful. I wanted to keep him a secret for a little while longer; especially since she knew how bad my ex had hurt me. He was the reason I promised to never date again; although, the moment I met Mr. Gorgeous, I apparently forgotten all about that promise.

"Fine," she said when I didn't answer. "I'll find out anyway."

She probably would. She was just too aware of me, even when I didn't want her to be. If he was ever near me when she was around—she'd figure it out in about two seconds… maybe even one.

"You're going to _love_ Mumford and Sons," Bailey noted as she leaned towards me, smoothly changing the topic into safer territory.

_Oh, they were called Mumford and Sons… I needed to remember that. _

"They're an English, folky type band. Right up your alley with all the old, weird music you listen to."

"_The Eagles _aren't weird," I duly noted, listing my favorite band. She made a face as if she disagreed. This argument felt all too familiar. I enjoyed it. "If it wasn't for my _old_, weird music- the bands you like so well wouldn't even exist."

She leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees. "Yeah, yeah… I know. They wouldn't have gotten the inspiration. Blah, blah, blah," she sighed as though she we bored. I examined her for a second, fighting my own smile as she looked around—this conversation just felt normal. I needed a sense of normalcy to hang on with Jake shaking things up.

Just as I was about to say something, her gaze moved down the first row; her expression growing curious before some type of recognition hit her. She smiled and slapped me on the leg.

"Oh my, God!"

"What is it?"

"I can't believe it."

"What, what?"

"It's that guy… from the club. The lead singer of that band, remember? "Mr. Sexy bod."

For a moment, I didn't understand what she meant. Mr. Sexy bod? Curiosity getting the better of me by just his name alone, I let my gaze follow hers. I didn't recognize anyone at first. Then my mind registered what my eyes had failed to see.

I instantly gasped, repeating her sentiments. "Oh my, God!" I sat back immediately, trying to disappear into my seat. It was Jake!

"What?" She said, leaning further down to get a better look before I jerked her back to into her seat.

She looked at me like I had gone mad. "What the fu— wait… why are you blushing?"

"I'm not," I lied, feeling my face turn warmer. Then, it hit her. I was right—It took only took her _one_ second to get it.

Her mouth fell open. "OH MY GOD! He's J?"

I shook my head negatively, unable to answer.

"Why you little… You're lying, aren't you? He's J!" Her mind kept working, putting all the pieces of today's events together . She inhaled sharply. "He's J, and you got a date with a fucking, future rock star!"

I couldn't deny it… not with any words anyway.

"I can't believe it. Well c'mon, let's go say hi!" She stood and reached for me, her eyes looking towards where he was sitting. Was she trying to humiliate me? I would look like a fucking stalker if I went up to him right now! Before I could find any words to dis-sway her, I saw her expression turn to one of disgust. Quickly, she slammed back into her seat, anger quickly taking over everything about her.

"What happened," I asked, alarmed with her sudden change in attitude. I thought it would take a year of coaxing to convince her not to go to him.

"Nothing," she dismissed me before looking down at her fingernails and asking, "When do you think the concert will start?"

"What," I felt my brow scrunch in confusion. Why the sudden change? I knew the moment she realized who J was, I'd never hear the end OF IT! "Bay, what is it?"

She didn't answer. Unable to be left in the dark for any longer, I leaned forward and gazed down the long row's length. One moment I was confused and embarrassed, trying to hide behind others to catch a glimpse of my future date…the next, I was fuming. He was with another girl. And a gorgeous one at that!

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**Please leave a review- I'd love to hear your thoughts about the story and Mr. Gorgeous- AKA- Mr. Sexy Bod. Lemons to follow!**


	3. Chapter 3: Santa Claus

**Chapter 3**

**Santa Claus**

I couldn't help but be utterly dismayed as I watched the scene unfold. The way Jake looked at the Native American beauty by his side was hard to watch. Anyone could tell that he cared for this person very much. She also looked as if she liked him just the same; smiling tenderly at him while he brushed some of her hair away from her face. I had to look away as an unfamiliar feeling caught in my throat. I couldn't put a name to the feeling exactly, but I did know that I wanted what she had.

My eyes closed harshly with my thoughts. I was being ridiculous… I hadn't even gone out with him yet and I was already jealous? I'd only known him for less than twenty-four hours. What right did I have to be envious? Unable to look away, Bay and I both glanced back towards the happy couple.

As if the situation needed to be more complicated, just when I was beginning to make sense of it all, a buxom brunette with visibly fake breast found Jake in the crowd of people near the front row. His welcoming smile was one of acknowledgment. His seductive gaze flowed over her all the way down to her flaming red mini skirt before moving slowly back up to her overly exposed cleavage. He appeared to have known this woman… in the biblical sense. It was written all over both of their faces.

Miss Red Mini Skirt frowned at Jake's date and said something to the both of them just before she planted herself of his lap. My eyes instantly widened. I could not believe this was actually happening. This girl had some nerve; especially to do that right in front of his date! I leaned forward a bit more, allowing Curiosity to dig her deep and envious claws into my back.

Just when I knew it couldn't get any worse, it did. Little Miss Mini Skirt had a friend. My unblinking eyes almost couldn't believe what was happening when a blonde with stark red highlights walked up to Jake, and with the same knowing smile the brunette had and place herself on his other leg, her slender back facing me.

I could feel my face redden as I watched her scoot herself suggestively over his thigh. Then, with the same nerve her friend easily encompassed, she pressed herself against him. At first I thought she was just whispering to Jake; possibly something she didn't want his date to overhear. But as he leaned his head to the side, I caught sight of her very long, very pink, and very pierced tongue stroking over his ear. An uneasy amount of shock flowed through me. I didn't even begin to know how to react to this.

"Screw this," Bailey huffed as she slammed her fists down onto the handles of her seat, making me jump. She agitatedly stood with purpose. "I'm going to go talk to the bastard. If he thinks he can play you, I'll castrate him before he has a chance to enjoy his dick ever again."

Although I blushed at her colorful choice in words, I couldn't help but smile. Was it weird that I was sort of happy my best friend was ready to champion me… no questions asked? I waited for a half a second, admiring her bravery to do such an unusual task just for me before I grabbed her by the arm.

Hindered by my movements she looked back at me, daggers flying from her angry blue eyes; ready to be aimed at Jake.

"Bay, sit down… he's not 'playing' me. It's not like we vowed to be exclusive or anything. We've only just met yesterday."

Her jaw fell open. She apparently wanted me to be as angry as she was. Sure, I was kind of hurt; but, who was I kidding? He was too good looking for me and obviously a ladies man. I couldn't have kept a hold on him for long, if at all.

"The only guy you're willing to break _your _promise for is out with_ two_—possibly _three –_other women," she stated so blatantly… as if _I _didn't know. "And you're willing to just let it go?"

I tried not to focus too much on the fact that he was surrounded by women and chose another [safe] topic to address instead. "Promise? What promise?" Did she actually remember my promise?

"That you would never date again," she explained loudly, perturbed that I had somehow forgotten. "The one you made the night that man-whore cheated on you with the school slut, Brittany Mitchell. The night you came crying to me after our junior prom. The night you went through _three_ boxes of tissues. The night when—"

"Bailey, I get it, okay? Sit down. It's no big deal," I shrugged, feigning indifference. Truth was, even though I barely knew Jake, it hurt to see him with someone else… or _two_ or three someone else's I should say. Actually, it hurt more than I thought it would. Even if his date was just a friend or something, the other two most visibly were not. "He probably had this date planned out way before he met me."

She shrugged right back at me. "I could give a shit! _My_ best friend will not be another notch in _that_ asshole's bedpost." Before I could even begin to stop her, she was stomping off in his direction.

I felt my mouth drop open. It was like watching a horrific car wreck about to happen. I couldn't move, I could only watch with stunned surprise. She was severely overreacting. Everything slowed down for one infinitesimal moment before reality kicked back in.

I leapt from my tiny, metal stadium seat with such force, the bottom of hit against the back with a loud bang; folding back into place. I tried to will my surroundings to disappear, knowing _I_ was now the one attracting attention just as I bursted into a frantic run. I honestly couldn't comprehend why she was so upset about this anyway. Like I told her, we've only just met!

As if the heavens had opened up just to hear my prayer, someone in the front row stood up right in Bailey's path. I all but slammed into her just as I reached for her arm.

She wheeled around to face me, her expression livid. I quickly scrambled for the words to deter her from seriously humiliating me; but it was too late… Jake had already seen us.

"No," I heard myself say aloud. All my efforts for stopping her had been for naught. I felt Bailey's fierce glance on me, but I was more drawn to the eyes of another.

_He_ was looking at me. And for some reason… when he did that, the world just disappeared.

I could see it in his eyes that he was trying to place where he knew me from. For one short millisecond, I prayed he wouldn't remember. But the fates were never so kind to me. I had seen recognition hit his expression before he actually had nerve to smile at me… in front his date and the two women firmly planted on his lap.

I felt my brow arch, blinking several times as if I didn't understand, seeing his eyes moved over my hair, my face, my shirt, and down. He was checking me out— right in front of them! I was so caught up on him, and how just looking at him made me weak in the knees, that I had completely forgot about Bailey altogether.

"Ness," Jake asked in disbelief before my blonde and very overprotective best friend cut off anything he had to say.

"Listen here, Ace," Bailey began, not holding back. That was all it needed to get Jake's and his dates' attention. Oh no. I wanted to run. I just didn't know in which direction; away from the wreckage or to it. "If you think you are going to ask my best friend out and date every woman in the state at the same time you've got another thing coming."

Almost eye level with Bailey in his seat, Jake watched her for what seemed like far too long, confusion prevalent on all his features. His dates, who all had looked towards me when he had said my name, were now looking at Bailey; their faces were also twisted with misunderstanding.

"Excuse me," Jake asked, his expression turning cold. He clearly didn't like being called out.

Bailey leaned down closer to him, locking her gaze with his. "You heard me," she remarked poking him in the chest with a finger, ignoring the eager girls on his lap. "You will not play my best friend like she one of your many conquests." With eyes of rapid waters, Bailey glanced at the two less than dressed women on his lap, indications more than implied. "I've heard about you and your reputation. I refuse to allow you to walk all over her like she's nothing more than a piece of ass. Do you got me or do I need to make myself clearer?"

Jacob stood at that moment, towering over her as if she was nothing more than the size of an ant. From here, I could see his jaw tightening against his skin. Miss Red Mini Skirt and Miss Red Highlights had not liked moving from their comfortable spots on his thighs.

Even though his glare could have frightened most people into stone, Bailey didn't back down. One would have to admire her spirit. She bravely glared back at him, feeling the need to defend my honor in this small way.

"Never mind the fact that I don't even know you, but before you run off jumping to conclusions, you should ask questions first." Bailey's daggery scowl didn't waver as he continued. "Now, I think you need to calm down and apologize to me and to my _sister_."

I leaned forward to make sure I heard right. Did he just say "sister?"

Jake's eyes immediately found mine and they rooted me to the floor. He was upset, anyone could have seen that. But what had caught me off guard was the look in his eyes. It was as if he wanted me to understand that the woman next to him was his sister… more than he wanted Bailey to understand.

My gaze wandered down to his date, who was still in just as much shock as I was. Looking over her face, I now could see the resemblance that I had failed to see before.

Of course they had the same hair, eyes, and beautiful skin tone, but their smiles had also favored. As his sister grinned kindly at me, I felt a small weight lift from my chest. Why was I this relieved? My feelings for him were obviously more than I'd care to recognize at the moment-but for the life of me, I couldn't comprehend why.

At some point I had stepped closer to all of them; drawn like a moth to a flame that was this handsome man. When I finally looked back towards Bailey, I noticed that she lost all color. Before she could even think of an apology for her rash actions, she glanced at the woman in the red mini skirt, then her friend. In true Bailey fashion, she arched a perfect blonde eyebrow at the skimpy pair before refocusing her gaze on Jake's; a clear warning in her icy blue eyes.

At that moment, he seemed to remember the girls that I'd also forgotten about in my relief that his date was actually his sister. He quickly glanced back towards me, worry taking a place on his face. These girls were unmistakably not related to him.

"Everyone, just calm down. It's okay," Jake's sister broke the uncommon silence first. "I could see how this situation would lead one to believe..." She didn't finish whatever she was going to say, her eyes also flowing over to the brunette and her friend.

"No it's not okay," Miss Mini Skirt objected, her reddened face almost matching her overdone lipstick. "How dare you come over here with that attitude and start yelling at my boyfriend!" She took a step closer to Bailey—unafraid of my short, but very intimidating, best friend.

Boyfriend? I felt a slight pang of disappointment. He was a player –just like Bailey had said. The thought had dawned on me when he was playing Santa Claus to these two; however, hearing it aloud somehow solidified it. Good thing I figured this out before I got involved. I needed to stay far, far away from him.

"Boyfriend," her friend scoffed in disbelief. "He's not _your _boyfriend!— He's mine!" The wreckage I had compared this situation to appeared to worsen before my eyes. Jake fists were balled up by his sides, a vibrant sign of his ebbing irritation. His sister was watching everything with such a concerned face I thought she was going to cry at any moment. And Bailey looked as if she were ready to punch little Miss Mini Skirt.

This is why I didn't go out. This was exactly the reason I always stayed at home. I hated drama. No—correction—I loathed it.

"I'm not your boyfriend, Amber. Now go back wherever you came from and take her with you." Jake's cruel voice was so harsh it had me taking a step back.

In fact, stepping back was easy. So I did it again and again. Turning around, I realized I was done with the situation all together. What was it Bailey said earlier? Screw this? Yes… well, screw this!

I should have known better anyways. This was what I was always trying to avoid. These were the kind of distractions I didn't need. I kept walking faster and faster with each step. I didn't even know where I was going as I walked right by my seat and passed it by without a second glance. I had more important things in life to do other than see a band, date, and be caught up in unnecessary drama.

My thoughts immediately flew to my mom as I rounded the corner and began climbing the steps to an exit… any exit. She fell in love with my dad _way_ too early in life and had me. She had never gone to college or even got a job. Nope. Instead she subjected herself to wife/motherhood duties and never got to pursue her dreams like I was. Although she didn't really have the need for a career because my father's family was _very_ wealth, she was the main reason I never wanted to date. I didn't want to fall in love and forget about all the things I wanted to do in life. I didn't want to make all the mistakes she had.

If she would have never fallen in love, she wouldn't have been imperiled to a life dependent upon others. She could have been successful in whatever she wanted to do and maybe had me later in life… when she was ready.

"Boys," I huffed aloud, surmising they were the reason for all that was wrong in life. All of these guys that stolen girls hearts at first glance were nothing but immature little boys concentrated on one thing and one thing only. None of them were men. The only man a woman could trust was her dad. And that was only if he was a good one, like mine.

I didn't waste any time as I pushed on one of the fire exit doors. The cool, night air felt good on my heated face. Even though I slightly regretted not remembering exactly where Bailey parked her car, I knew a good walk would help clear my head from all that had taken place.

I'd only met Jake last night and he already added more _drama_ to my life than I have had in years. Eager to find Bay's car, I began walking quickly around the arena, my thoughts a muddled mess. What was it about him that I found so irresistible? Oh… right. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Jesus, was I that superficial? Could I be controlled so easily by looks alone?

Wrapping my arms across my chest to shield against the cool air, I shook my head to no one in particular. No, that couldn't be it. I was surrounded by handsome guys all the time at the university. Some of them had even asked me out, and of course I had always declined. So, what had made Jake any different?

As several faceless people passed by me in the parking lot, I tried to think. What was it about him that I couldn't evade?

I stopped walking as a thought hit me. It _was _more than just looks. From the moment I first saw Jake, I was drawn to him. I had even imagined waking up every day to his smile alone. There was a connection between us from the beginning; even when we touched, which had only been twice while shaking hands.

Maybe I was the only one had felt it. Maybe I even imagined it. And maybe, just maybe, there wasn't any connection at all.

"Renesmee," Jake's distant, troubled voice quickly brought me back to reality. I froze when I realized he was behind me. Unable to turn around, I acknowledged that my ears still rang with his smooth voice. My name somehow sounded completely right coming from his lips.

_No… I had not imagined the connection._

Hastily recalling why I had been in this enormous parking lot to begin with, I begun walking again; this time much faster. I didn't need this right now. I had goals and aspiration- that's what I needed to concentrate on, not him.

I heard his booted footsteps rapidly pick up speed with mine. Was he actually chasing after me? My heart thudded quickly at the thought. It was the only part of me that actually enjoyed the thought of him dashing after me. Damn my heart for betraying my brain so easily.

"Wait," he yelled before adding a little more softly, "please!"

I stopped suddenly at his words, my legs unwilling to move. I narrowed my eyes at my traitorous limbs. They were obviously against my rationally thinking brain as well.

My inner struggles gave him all the time he needed to catch up. "Hey," he said, slightly out of breath.

Still looking down at the ground, I saw his black boots come into my line of sight while he placed himself in front of me. His intoxicating scent filled my senses. He smelled of masculine cologne, leather, and the night air; it was an amazing combination.

"Hi," I murmured back, trying to not breathe in his incredible scent.

Almost a minute had passed as I just stared at his feet, memorizing each part of his boots. The tension flowed between us so strongly it made the overly large parking lot feel cramped.

"Can we talk?"

I answered by shrugging my shoulders. He could do whatever he wanted as long as it wasn't with me.

"Will you look at me, please?" Oh right… he liked to look at women when he talked to them— the jerk!

Unfortunately, my eyes found freewill of their own and slowly drifted up to his; not wanting to yield to his request but, for some reason, unable to deny him.

"Are you upset?"

"What right do I have to be upset? We barely know each other," I replied evenly.

"Then why did you leave?"

"Why does it matter?"

"It matters."

"Why," I whispered, unsure of myself. This whole situation was just too bizarre. I felt like I'd known this man all my life. Even though I couldn't tell anyone his last name, I could explain every detail of his face. I could even blindly trace each line on his hands. God, what was wrong with me?

"Why are you even out here? Why aren't you with in there with your _girlfriends_?"

"They aren't my girlfriends," he amended with frustration. "And I came out here because... Well, you ran out of there like—"

Run? As if! "I didn't run," I challenged him.

He made a face of incredulity. "Well you walked really, really fast," he sighed before adding, "Besides, you looked like you were upset. So I came out here to see if you were alright."

I lowered my eyelids at him. "Is that the only reason?"

He appeared thoughtful for a moment, our eyes locked together as I waited for him to answer. "No… that wasn't the _only_ reason."

"Then what were the other reasons?" I was curious to know.

For a moment all he could do was just stare at me, a million thoughts floating in his dark brown eyes. When no answer came from him, I grew even more tired of his game.

"Just forget it. I don't even care," I remarked softly, stepping around him. "And while you're at it," I added passing him by, "you can forget about our date as well."

There. I had said it. I was at a fork in the road. One way was the clear path- narrow and difficult, but rewarding. The other way was much wider- more beautiful and enchanting, but short… very, very short. Just like the relationship I would have had with him.

I made it about two steps before a large, warm hand grabbed my upper arm. The world moved and dipped as he turned me towards him. Before any objections could come from my mouth, his lips crashed onto mine.

My brow raised in shock as I realized what was happening. Oh. My. God! He was actually kissing me.

With my eyes wide open, I wanted to push him away and curse him for the jackass that he was. But, the first contact of his lips on top of mine was life altering. My body hummed with the same excited energy that instantly bursted through my heart and veins.

I gasped at the intensity he was bringing me with one simple kiss. He took advantage of my astonishment and I felt his tongue smoothly glide between my parted lips. The feeling of it almost brought me to my knees; but, instead, it brought me flush against his body. Without even thinking, I gave into him, rising onto the tips of my toes to meet him half way. I couldn't have helped it even if I wanted to. My body was just responding to his. Needing to be closer, I wrapped myself around him, plunging my hands into his silky, black hair.

I felt my muscles twitch as they reacted to the skilled fingers that gently glided up and down my back. Also feeling a certain need, he pulled me closer against him. There wasn't a space between us. We'd only have been closer if we were… err… connected elsewhere.

The possibility of that happening immediately made me forget about everything else. All I could focus on was him. The world… it didn't matter anymore. It, like everything else, disappeared into a cinematic fog.

I could feel his accelerating heart against my breast, his breath a heady pant against my lips. He was just as turned on as I was. The proof of it was difficult to overlook as his arousal begun to grow firm against my belly. My betraying body instantly replied. An ache I never felt before filtered down between my thighs just as my breasts swelled against my chest. Suddenly he groaned; the sound of which connected itself to one particular body part of mine. Was this really happening? Surely I was dreaming.

_No, you aren't dreaming, stupid! You are just giving into the one thing you wanted to stay away from. _

My brain had finally kicked in. Where had it gone anyway? No- I wasn't dreaming, I was making out with Mr. Gorgeous himself— player extraordinaire. The one who just had two vixens sitting on his lap a second ago, one with a tongue in his ear.

I instantly unlatched my fingers from his satiny strands and pushed away from him. His eyes flashed open, surprise in their russet depths. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and took a step back. That's when I noticed Bailey and Jake's sister standing behind him watching everything as well as many others. A familiar heat rushed over me. What had I been thinking letting him kiss me like that?

The very warm, damp, and throbbing place between my legs knew exactly what I had been thinking.

"Why did you do that," I asked him accusatorily.

He paused for the briefest second, still caught up in the moment I abruptly tore myself away from. "I had to know."

My brow rose, "had to know what?" I touched my lips, swollen from his kiss. They still tingled.

His eyes watched my every move "What it was like to kiss you before you realized."

"Realized what?"

"That I wasn't good enough for you." My mouth fell slightly at his raw, exposed words. I could still taste him. I could still feel him. I shook my head at my thoughts once again. I needed to leave. I was just too aware of him.

"I should go."

He nodded with understanding, but there was regret written all over his face. My legs wouldn't move away from that face. Damn my annoying appendages!

"Renesmee," a soft, raspy, feminine voice came from my side. I turned to see his sister smiling thoughtfully at me. "Before you go, I think you should know that my brother hasn't stopped talking about you all day. It's actually been kind of annoying. And before you think that this may be a frequent thing, you should also know that not once in his life has he ever talked about any other girl… not to me anyways." Jake's face became flushed as his sister admitted their secret. I felt my brow rise in response. That was definitely unexpected. "It's obvious that there is something between both of you. Anyone could see that. I think you owe it to yourselves to find out what it is." His sister's words swirled around me. Did I owe it to myself to explore this innate attraction? I wasn't so sure. I needed space to think. With him so close to me still, all I could breathe was _his_ air.

Everyone looked at me as if I had all the answers to the universe. They all waited for me to choose. To decide which path I should take.

I hugged myself, finally feeling the cool air whirling against me once more. "I'm not sure what to say," I shrugged. And I didn't.

Jake brought himself close to me, his potent scent filling my senses again. I instantly took a step back, afraid of what I may do again. It was odd how easy it was to give into him—gave into whatever part of me that was attracted to him—which apparently was every part.

"No!" I almost shouted before lowering my voice. I didn't want him to know how much he affected me. "I really should go. All of this is too much. I was just here to have a good time and see a concert. Now, I'm worried that…" I stopped just as I realized I was about to reveal too much of myself. "I need to think about all of this… you know—process it… and see if—"

"Is she always like this?" Jake interrupted my internal/external monologue, turning to Bailey for an answer.

"Always," she agreed, smiling widely at him for extra emphasis.

What? Now _she_ was smiling at him. Ten minutes ago she was ready to castrate him! I narrowed my eyes her—the traitor.

My gaze wandered back to Jake's. His eyes were warm and content as they sparkled with the soft lights of the street lamps. I watched him closely while he turned back towards me, blocking out the world when he move to stand toe to toe with me.

"Listen, you're thinking too much about everything. You're trying to talk yourself out of this— I can see it in your eyes. Just go with what your body is telling you. And you can't deny you don't want me. Not with the way you kissed me back there." I immediately looked away from his seductive glance, my face growing warmer with realization of how right he was. But, if I took his advice and listened to what my body was telling me, I would no longer be a virgin.

"So, what do you say? Still on for tomorrow night?"

Just as he asked the question, a very unwelcome thought came unbidden into my mind. I didn't hesitate to ask, "What about the two girls in there?"

_And how many others would there be_? I really wanted to ask.

He shrugged one firm and sculpted shoulder at me, a visible expression for writing them off completely. It was a gesture that explained they really were nothing more than one of his actual conquests. My face fell at his insincerity. Would he treat me like that one day?

"What," he asked, noticing my discomfort.

"Nothing." How could I ever put into words what I was actually thinking?

"Just tell me."

"She's probably trying to figure out how long it will take for you to treat her like you did Bimbo One and Two back there," Bailey added from behind us, somehow knowing my thoughts completely. I flushed. My best friend knew all too well.

Jake, who had turned to look at Bailey, quickly spun back to me— his expression was one of embarrassment and shame. He couldn't deny it. How could he? He couldn't pretend I hadn't just seen two women sitting on his lap. Nor could he act as if he didn't just dismiss them with a shrug.

I watched him for a moment, fixated on the muscle in his jaw working fiercely against his cheek. That was sexy, too… and he wasn't even trying.

"If it seems like I don't care about those two, it's because I don't. I realize it sounds harsh but I don't want to lie to you. They don't mean anything to me."

"What makes me any different?"

Jake looked at me as if I should have already realized the answer to that question. With an unearthly, heart shattering smile he said "Everything."

"I mean it," he added when I didn't reply immediately. "I know we don't really know each other, but there's just something about you. Something I can't quite put a name to yet," he smiled as if the thought had miffed him quite the same way it did me. "I think my sister is right… we owe it to each other to see what _this_ is," he finished after moving a hand between us.

I let out a deep breath. No! I couldn't do this. I couldn't be with a guy that was obviously well…_liked_ by every woman in a ten mile radius. I was going to say NO.

But, "Okay, yes," wandered out of my stupid mouth. "I'll see you tomorrow night."

God, I was an idiot.

He looked instantly relieved. "Yes?"

"Yes," I nodded, smiling at his expression.

For a moment all he could do was look back at me, waiting for me to change my mind. When I didn't, he grabbed my face gently between his hands and lowered himself until he was eye level with me. "You won't regret this." I thought that was all he was going to do, but the warmth of his lips quickly found mine again. It was a swift, brief, and utterly amazing kiss; but, it had oddly promised more. It was a promise that sealed his words for him. And with it, I knew I would never regret this decision.

* * *

**I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please forgive any errors and time that it took to update. I've been finishing my other story! TY**


	4. Chapter 4: Wolves

**Author's Note: Hey everyone. Sorry for the delay in updating. I've been super busy with summer coming to an end. Not to worry, I will try to get another chapter done soon. Please forgive any errors- I'm searching for a BETA as we speak.**

**Hope you enjoy,**

**B**

**Chapter 4**

**Wolves**

"Bay, please come with me," I begged for at least the tenth time. "I need you beside me to meet him."

"Ness, I love you, but I can't hold your hand on this date. Put on your big girl britches and go out with Mister Sexy bod," she remarked, peeking up at me from black, square framed glasses that were more for fashion than reading the Organic Chemistry book in front of her.

Watching her get more comfortable on her bed made my chest tighten with anxiety. It was pathetic to admit, but I needed her for this. "I know, but do this for me one time. Just go with me to the concert. I will even pay to get us in. Then you'll come with me to meet him backstage. After that you can go, I promise. Please, Bay…" I pushed out my bottom lip and clasped my fingers together. "Pretty, pretty, please," I plead.

Bailey sighed loudly before throwing her pink highlighter in her book and closing it with more force than necessary. "Fine… but only because you are paying… and _only_ this one time."

"Done," I agreed to her terms. I wasn't in the position to negotiate.

Watching her roll off her stomach and off her twin-sized bed, I felt a small amount of relief wash over me. I could do this if I had someone by my side. Not dating for a long time has led me to have many anxieties about tonight. And, after that freaking incredible kiss last night, I was more than a little nervous to meet Jake on _his_ turf in front of _his_ band. I needed at least one ally to conquer tonight.

"What are you going to wear," she asked matronly.

My brow lowered in confusion. "I'm wearing what I got on."

Bailey's crystal blue eyes widened. "You're wearing a sweatshirt and jeans on a date with Mr. Sexy?" Whether or not she intended to, she almost sounded like my Aunt Alice. Now that I think of it, she would also have something to say about my current attire.

I looked down at myself, now very conscious of what I was wearing. "First of all his name is Jake. Secondly, we're just getting some coffee after his show. I doubt there are any four-star coffee shops that have a dress code policy."

Bailey raised her hand to her forehead, giving it an audible slap before running it down her face. The action made me feel stupid and even more self-conscious. "Ness, I know it's been a while since you've dated, but I promise you he's pulling out the big guns tonight. And when he does, you're going to want to look hot!" Guns? Was she referring to his beautifully sculpted arms that I couldn't stop dreaming about last night?

When my look of confusion didn't waver, she felt the need to explain herself better. "He's going all balls out." I felt my forehead lower even more. Balls? All her statement did was give me more fuel for my dreams, but I still had no clue what she was talking about.

She sighed loudly and dropped on her bed as if this conversation was exhausting her. "All I am saying is that last night, he almost lost his chance with you. There is no way in hell he's just taking you to a coffee shop. He's going to pull out every trick in his player-back- pocket to ensure that you have the best date of your life."

"No way," I shook my head, not believing a word of it. "There's no way he would do that. He doesn't seem like the romantic type. Besides—"

"Any guy who wants to get laid can be the romantic type." I quirked up an eyebrow at her crude analysis which prompted her to hold her hands up in supplication. "I'm not saying that is his motive, but, I know for a fact that after the way he kissed you last night, he's not going to allow your first date to be in a coffee shop. I mean, didn't you see the way he was looking at you? Y'all have some serious chemistry going on there. You two are totally going knock boots."

I take a moment to process all that she was saying, my stomach churning at the prospect of taking the next big step in life: losing my virginity. It was not a topic I wanted to discuss with her.

Another thought protruded my mind and it finally helped me understand the way I felt about Jake. Is that what all of that was? Chemistry? I was a little relieved to be able to put a name to the instant connection that I felt with him. It was a good choice of word, I thought. But, one wrong ingredient in chemistry and the whole room could explode…

"C'mon," she pulled on my arm and started leading me to her closet. "Let's find you something to wear."

I immediately pulled back, forcing myself out of my thoughts. "There is nothing in your closet that will fit me!"

"That's the point," she winked and gave me a smile that made me want to call and cancel my date.

An hour later I was fussing with a white sheath dress that was obviously too short for me because it had been tailor-made for her. Oddly enough, the mid-thigh length, along with a silvery long necklace, added a sense of casual-ness that somehow fit my style. The beige wedges and matching handbag allowed the outfit to be perfect for any situation—classy or otherwise. I didn't bother much with my makeup, just some mascara and lip gloss. And, although I still had my doubts that Jake had anything else planned other than some coffee and conversation, I was going to at least be prepared for whatever tonight would bring. I was even grateful for Bay's intrusive observations and realized once more that she was my best friend for a reason.

Walking out into the dorm parking lot, for the first time since going off to college, I regretted not bringing my car with me. It was something I had thought to do when I had chosen to go to college. People didn't know me at UWS; I could be whoever I wanted to be. I wasn't one of the _Cullen's_ here. There weren't whispers about my family or their wealth. My bright red Porsche would totally blow the cover that I was just like everyone else: a struggling college student just trying to get by. Instead, it would raise the questions "Why exactly is she here?" and "Why does she work at the Al's Pizza and Beer?"

Clambering into the passenger side of Bay's tiny Honda, I tried to settle my nerves by focusing clothes at my feet. In fact, looking around her car, I noticed how messy everything was. There was makeup, clothes, and books strewn everywhere. It was like she lived in here; which, since she shared a dorm room with me, I knew wasn't possible.

"You really should clean out your car," I noted, buckling my seatbelt.

For a moment she almost looked embarrassed; then, she just grabbed the clothes at my feet and tossed them in the back without a second glance. "There. Now it's clean," she murmured, biting her lips to keep from laughing at my reaction. If I wasn't so nervous about my date I would have laughed with her.

The ride to the College Complex was shorter than I hoped. I was wishing for a long ride with lots of time to think… or at least talk myself out of the ridiculous idea of dating Jake. The one thing that stopped me from doing just that was the kiss he gave me last night. That was by far the most amazing kiss I had ever had in my life. My heart doubled in speed just thinking about it. I wonder what else would be amazing with him.

"We're here," Bailey said, shifting her car into park and my thoughts from a direction I wasn't quite ready to explore yet.

Taking in a deep breath, I opened the door and tried to focus on every detail around me instead of what was going to be happening in the very near future. It helped calm me a little; especially the loud squeal that Bailey's car door made when I opened it or the way it sounded as I slammed it closed. Hell, I even paid attention to the squishy, patting noises my shoes made on the wet pavement as we walked towards the front doors. Everything I could hear, I tried to pay attention too. But, eventually, the closer we got the complex's entrance, the more I could hear The WolfPack's alternative rock music muffled by the brick and mortar walls of the large building, and I could no longer ignore the obvious.

Being able to almost hear Jake's voice caused my breathing to increase dramatically. "Oh my God," I whispered aloud. On the other side of those revolving doors was my date… singing. My nerves took to a new level of alarm. Nervous would have been an improvement for how I was feeling. I honestly didn't even know how I got here in the first place—or how I even got ready for that matter.

Bailey put a calming hand on my arm as she led me up a cobbled walkway to the front doors of the complex. With my nerves in a bundle of chaos, the two very large men standing at the entry looked entirely too menacingly to my panicked eyes. Their intimidating appearances made me want to run back to the car; but, the knowledge that Jake was on the other side of those doors kept my feet moving forward. That kiss was really something. He was really something. I realized in that moment that I wasn't as nervous as I was anxious. I wanted to see him again… I think.

Standing in a small line waiting to get in, I kept my eyes locked on my feet, delving into my mind to come up with all the different ways tonight could go. It wasn't as creative as I would have liked; nevertheless, it kept my mind busy until we were next in line.

"Twelve dollars," one of the men stated, almost sounding disinterested. Now that we were closer, I recognized him. He was a security guard that normally patrolled the campus female dormitories at night. This must be a side job.

"No way were paying full price. You didn't charge the two in front of us that much. And, the show's almost over anyways," Bailey informed the man I recognized with a sharp tone.

"Oh you have an attitude… I like the frisky ones, Jay" he wryly said to his partner. "But, no matter how hot or feisty you are," he narrowed his glance at Bailey, "no pay, no entry… unless you want to work out this debt _another_ way." Wow… The man had some nerve, I'd give him that. The orange clipboard he was holding must have sent him on an obnoxious power trip that he wasn't about to give up on.

Shocked and disgusted by his crass statement, I turned and gaped at my best friend, not really believing my ears. Bailey's expression was livid! I quickly imagined where this was going and realized that if I didn't do something soon we were going to get thrown out or _worse_. As fast as I could manage, I dug into my purse and pulled out a fifty dollar bill. Summoning courage from someplace deep inside of me, I slammed the money on top of the douchebag's clipboard. "Keep the change, asshole."

Grabbing an outraged Bailey by the shoulders, I forced her forward with a strong push from behind. Even though this would have been one of those times when I wouldn't have minded if she punched someone in the face—knowing the jerk deserved it—I knew it would only lead to trouble. And even though I knew the situation gave cause for concern, I couldn't help but smile. I just stood up to a beast of a man with no difficulty at all; it was almost shocking. I had called someone an asshole to their face, and it felt amazing!

I could tell that Bailey was shocked as well, but all too soon her amusement wore off as she realized I had stolen her chance to get even with him. "Did you hear what that fucker just said to me?" Several people lurking around the area stopped and stared; most likely to see what would happen next.

As a heat spread its way up my neck, I lowered my voice so only she could hear; "Yes, and I know he deserves to have his ass kicked, but Bay, can you please let it go this one time? I'm already a nervous wreck because of my date and I knew if I didn't do something it would have led to us being kicked out or arrested."

She watched me for a moment before sighing loudly, her cheeks puffing out slightly with her release. It was a very good sign for me. "Fine… let's go." After a few beats, she added with a devilish smile, "I can't believe _you _called him an asshole."

I laughed out the shaky breath I had been holding and began walking forward with her by my side. For a moment, I really thought she was going to let it go, but, when she turned around to look at Jackass 1 and 2 at the door, I knew it wasn't the end. Oh, great!

Hearing a disgruntled gasp from Bay, curiosity got the better of me and I gazed over my shoulder to see what I was about to have to deal with. I immediately saw Clipboard Guy and his smug partner at the door. They were both watching us walk away, a seductive smile on their faces before one of them made a crude gesture with his fingers and mouth, grabbing his crotch for good measure. Ewww. It made my skin crawl.

Thankfully, Bailey didn't hesitate to return a gesture of her own—a small, but very powerful, middle finger. There's the Bay I know and love.

"C'mon," I pulled her by the other arm toward a second set of doors that would lead me to my date. In the whole charade with the guys outside I had almost forgotten to be uneasy. All too soon my body quickly realized what it had been missing and I tried with great effort to control the shaky hand I placed on the door. With one last deep breath, I opened it.

_Oh no… what was I doing? _

I looked towards Bailey, several 'cop-out' thoughts floating through my mind. I could get out of this date very easily. I could say a number of things: I was sick… I needed to study… Or my favorite: maybe some other time, like, when it wasn't raining. Seeing as it was Seattle, it would be a while before it was "some other time."

Before I could throw any objections at her and leave, she gave me a confident smile. "You got this, Ness."

Right, I got this. If only I could convince myself.

With a small nudge in my back, I was pushed forward only to freeze and I entered the auditorium. There were at least five hundred people here; maybe even a thousand. Wolfpack already had a pretty good following. I was actually a little surprised. I didn't think they were well established yet.

"Wow," Bailey also noted her surprise, moving her head to the loud beat they played. "They're good."

I focused on her at that moment, needing to avert my eyes somewhere. I hadn't looked at the stage yet. I couldn't. I knew when I did the butterflies in my stomach would begin doing jumping jacks and cartwheels at just the sight alone. Clutching my purse rather tightly, I pulled my strength together and let my gaze wander over the crowd of raised arms and clapping hands before moving slowly up to the man that dominated center stage.

And…there he was. My dreams couldn't have imagined him better. He was wearing a tight black tee, rugged jeans, and the same black boots he wore the night before. Perfectly situated on a stool behind the mic, Jake strummed his guitar quickly and sang his heart out to the mob in front of him, the spotlight solely focused on him. The stage was exactly where he belonged. He looked so at ease that it steadied me a little.

Why had I been so nervous? We had already kissed. No need to feel so edgy…right?

I wanted to roll my eyes at myself. Who was I kidding? He was only the most gorgeous man I had ever seen in my life. Not to mention he was standing in front of at least a thousand people who wanted to nothing more than to touch him. He was experienced in the ways of life, skilled in the area of music and kissing [I didn't want to even begin to think why], and he had my heart racing with the slightest touch. Yeah. I had a million reasons to be nervous.

Somewhere in between my thoughts, the song slowed to an end. I could no longer think as my eyes zeroed in on him. I watched, enraptured for the second time at seeing him on stage, my gaze never wavering as he stood gracefully and grasped the microphone tightly in hand.

Without even a command from his beautiful lips, the crowd instantly quieted, eager as I was to hear his words. "Have you enjoyed the show tonight," he asked the throng in front of him, his deep, sultry voice making my knees go weak as it echoed around the auditorium. The cheer that followed his words was excruciating to my ears.

One of the guys on stage with Jake ignored the red, electric guitar around his neck and raised his arms in the air, soaking in the energy from the crowd while Bailey joined in and cheered next to me.

"Wait, wait, wait," Jake repeated, moving his hands up and down to silence the multitude of people. Astonishingly, they immediately quieted once again. "Now, I don't know about you, but here in Seattle, we get a bit louder than that. Let's try this again. I said— Did you enjoy the show tonight?!" Moving his microphone out to the crowd, the answer to his question could have easily left me permanently deaf.

Jake looked around the audience, their reaction almost leaving him in a state of awe. He began walking the length of the stage, smiling a little too fondly for my liking at many _individuals_ I couldn't see, waiting for them to quiet once more before he continued. After a moment, I squinted to seem him a little better and was rewarded when he placed the microphone up against his beautiful lips once again. "It's been my pleasure singing for you tonight. We will be at Envy's next weekend if you want to come out. We got one more song before we are out for the night," he wiped the sweat off of his brow while making his way back to the mic stand. I couldn't look away as he remained standing this time, nodding at the others on stage with him.

With their leader's silent order, the band began to play, the tempo considerably slower than the last. As soon as the sound hit my ears, I recognized the tune. I heard it once before at the club the first night Jake and I met, but this time I listened more closely.

_And soberly_. My subconscious spat out.

I ignored my obtrusive thoughts and listened to the sad song beginning to play around me. It spoke about someone who had left; someone that was loved very much. Jake sung the song with such sincerity and conviction that I knew he had written it himself. Had someone broken his heart? Had they left him? Did he still love her?

"C'mon, let's get backstage before the crowd starts leaving," Bailey announced from my right.

Nodding my head, I followed her, not quite able to speak yet. When I got nervous, I usually became really quiet or the exact opposite. This time I was glad my conscious had chosen to remain quite. Word vomit was something I hated… especially when it just kept spewing out of my mouth uncontrollably. It was almost as if I didn't have a filter for my words.

Jake's soulful singing stayed with me the entire walk to the front of the stage. Just before Bailey found the entrance for the backstage area, I stole one last glance at my date this evening. It wasn't everyday a girl went out with someone who just put on a show in front of hundreds of people. As soon as my eyes made contact with his, I halted. He had been watching me. The easy smile that took over his face when I saw him, told me he had. I smiled back at him, a heady feeling sifting it's way though my body. _I_ was the one he was watching, _I _was the one he smiled at, and_ I_ was the one going out with him tonight. He could have his pick from any girl in here, but he wanted to date me. I wanted to shout my triumph from the rafters and hear it echo a hundred times over. _He_ wanted _me_!

Oh God…Yep… it was happening. He was turning me into one of _those_ girls.

A soft tug on my wrist pulled me away from his hypnotic hold. Bailey quickly led the way up and around a set of red, velvety curtains and landed us smack dab in the middle of tons of people working offstage. We both stopped and took account of our surroundings. People were almost frantic with action. I had no idea this much work went on backstage. I thought the band pretty much took care of everything that needed to be done; but, apparently, one needed an army… and ones with receivers mounted to each of their heads.

Quickly spotting a set of stairs that led up the stage, I pointed them out to Bailey. Making our way over chords, amps, and speakers was much easier than trying to make our way through the people. Just as we started getting many irritated looks, I heard the band's last song come to a close. And that was precisely the moment the butterflies reappeared, their vengeance almost my undoing. They must be angry that I had forgotten them.

I couldn't hear the words that Jake eventually murdered because of the cheering fans. All I could do is hold onto my best friends arm as if it were about to fall off and gawk at those stairs. Five harsh breaths later, Jake's boots corrupted my view of the black, iron stairs. I stood frozen, my vise grip on Bailey growing tighter. As he continued his quick descent, his eyes directly focused on mine, a smile immediately lighting up his face. It was so unexpected that my heart spiked up into my throat. Did he have any idea how beautiful he was?

"Hey, you came." he greeted as he walked towards us.

_Play it cool, Ness. Don't just stare at him- talk! _

"Hey," I replied as he came to stand in front of me. I couldn't help but sense the awkward- do-we-kiss- moment before I could say "Ye—yeah, w—we came." Great…I sounded like a stuttering idiot.

Jake smiled at my breathy voice and leaned in, giving me a hug before kissing my cheek. My face instantly erupted with heat. Just when he started to pull away, his amazing scent hit me; even mixed with the salty tang of his sweat I was drawn to it. Was everything about this man attractive?

"Hey, I want you to meet the band," he said grabbing my hand and turning toward an intimidating group of guys that I hadn't noticed yet. Even looking at them now, all I could think was—He's holding my hand!

"Guys," he began, looking down at me before fixing his eyes on the group. "This is—" He immediately stopped talking and I knew why. They were all gaping at me; their mouths hanging open in disbelief. It was as if I had grown two heads and decided to do the "Hokey Pokey."

I shied into Jake's side, flushing at the unwanted attention; Bailey too far and short from me to hide behind. Jake didn't mind the intrusion and wrapped a protective arm around me, pulling me close. His warmth and scent instantly surrounded me and I didn't regret my shyness. Actually, I didn't even mind the wide-eyed gang of man staring at me. Not while he was holding me.

"I don't get it," Bailey said, looking at the band as if they were the ones who had sprouted two heads. "Why is everyone—"

"Umm," Jake interrupted Bailey with a cough; which caused both of us to look at him for a reason. He didn't give one. "Guys, this is Ness. Ness this is Seth, Jarrod, Paul, and Quil," he pointed out each of them in order of their name.

I waved a reluctant hand at them, "Hi."

They apparently got over their shock easily enough and greeted me. Seth was the first one to welcome me. He looked so young, though. He had a baby-face that I knew got him all the attention he could ever want. Jarrod's wave was second. He was the one who was wearing a bandana the night I had seen them at the club. He was covered in piercings and tats, some highly inappropriate to permanently put on your skin; but, when he greeted me, his smile was so sincere that I instantly knew he was just a gentle giant— the kind of guy that was just a big teddy bear that you wanted to hug all the time.

Paul was next. He was nice looking. His hair was short and perfectly styled. He was tall and lean with a really handsome face and perfect straight teeth. His smile was pointed at me but it was half genuine and half confused. As a matter of fact most of their smiles were that way. I'd have to figure out why.

Quil didn't simply just wave at me from where his other band mates stood. No. He had to come close… really close…uncomfortably close.

"Hello beautiful," he greeted, taking my hand and kissing it. Before I could even say anything, Jake shoved him away from me… hard. "Chill, man," Quil's face instantly pulled together, anger and mischief in the depths of his eyes. "You can't bring a girl to meet us for the first time and expect us not to be curious."

For the first time? Well, that is a surprise… and it explained a few things.

"Ever hear of curiosity killing the cat?" Jake asked.

"Yeah."

"Well I'm curiosity and you're the cat."

The band busted into hysterics and I had to laugh with them. It was hard not to, there was a deep sense of lightness and comradery that bonded this band together. In their presence, it was hard not to join in. Somewhere deep in my mind, I realized how safe I felt standing next to Jake; standing with all of them. These weren't good feelings to have so soon. I'm in over my head here.

Quil raised his arms in defeat and stepped away from me, throwing in a quick wink that I know Jake caught.

"And I guess I'm just chopped liver," Bailey noted, her tone bordering on the slightly annoyed as she reminded me of her presence. I instantly felt guilty for forgetting about her.

"Oh, Bailey, I'm sorry," Jake apologized sincerely. "Guys this is Bailey, Ness's..." Jake looked at me for a clue to as exactly who she was to me. She was so much to me that I wasn't certain what to say. She was my confidant and the only reason my world didn't suck. The only reason I functioned outside my comfort zone for that matter. She was my pusher…my go-getter… my fashionista and my brave back-up… how could I explain her in one phrase?

"My best friend;" yep, that pretty much summed it up.

Jake peered down at me, mentally noting this information before looking at Bay. I could tell that he saw our connection as plainly as I could see the bond with his band mates. "Bailey, this is the guys," Jacob finished, gesturing at them with his hand.

Not needing to shy away from the strong and, yes, even carnal looks at her by a group of monstrous, Native American, biker looking men, Bailey smiled back at them. "Hey guys." Nope. No nervous stuttering in her voice. She was calm and assertive. God, I envied her.

"Bailey," Quil began, stepping dramatically in her direction. Apparently Jake wasn't the only player in the band. "Hi, I'm Quil Atera" he held out for her hand.

Bay shot her eyes to mine and then back to him, a yeah-right-not-in-this-lifetime expression pushing her brow up. "Nice to meet you," she said tightly.

"Oh," he kissed her proffered hand. "I can assure you—the pleasure is all mine."

"Enough, numb-nuts," Jarrod snapped, grabbing Quil's shirt collar and dragging him back. "Down, boy, down."

With laughing coming from all around, Paul stepped forward next, focusing his dark, humorous eyes on Bailey. Well if she was annoyed at being ignored, she's now getting more attention than she bargained for.

I couldn't help but smile as I watched, aware of Jake's hand moving down to my hip, pulling me closer to him with an easy tug. "You look beautiful," he leaned down and whispered in my ear. Sparks exploded on my skin at his words, leaving goose-bumps in their wake. I let out a shaky breath as he pulled me closer, our bodies completely touching. When we would leave? I was starting to want to be alone. Wait… Did I just think that?

"You'll have to ignore him, he doesn't get out much." Paul's voice pulled me back to the here and now. Bailey nodded her head at him as he apologized for Quil's overzealous techniques. I noted the half smile barely claiming her mouth before she bit her bottom lip. Oh no… the Bailey move. It lured all men in—and quickly. I knew then that she was into Paul. I couldn't blame her- he was really cute, but he wasn't Jake.

"Well, I'm glad everyone's met. We gotta get going," Jake began, looking down at me and then at the silver watch on his wrist. "We have reservations in about thirty minutes."

"Reservations," I stated more than asked. Misunderstanding narrowing my glance, I looked at him. "For coffee?"

Jake smiled. "About that… I thought it would be a good idea to have dinner first. Then… well, I'm going to let it be a surprise." I couldn't help but glance at Bailey. The very satisfied smile on her face made me think twice about wanting to thank her for her advice about changing my outfit.

"Sounds great," I replied, looking back at Jake.

In that moment, Bailey walked over to me and pulled me to the side, far enough away to talk without them overhearing.

"Okay, I'm going to go, too," she said, looking over her shoulder at the guys, lingering her gaze little longer on Paul than the others. I arched a brow at her. She was so into Paul and there was no way she'd be able to deny it to me. "What? He's cute," she shrugged as if that explained it all. "So call me if you need to, but I expect to wake up alone tomorrow morning. You get me?"

I flushed at her audacity. Did she mean for me to sleep with Jake? ON A FIRST DATE!? "What!? Are you serious?"

"Very. Again, don't you see the way he's looking at you? Everyone else can. Damn, girl… if he was looking at me like that—"

"Bailey!" I gaped at her.

"What? Just being honest. Anyways, listen. I'm serious about you calling if you need anything. Don't get too nervous and don't let the conversation drop. Keep things going. You got this, remember?"

I wanted to roll my eyes at her sudden pep-talk but refrained. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, she was actually being helpful. "Okay, I got it. Thanks for coming with me."

She gave me a brief hug and turned back towards the band. "Nice to meet everyone. See you guys later." She turned and began walking away.

"Uh, wait up!" Paul called out as he all but bolted after her. When he was beside her, she looked over her shoulder at me and winked. I just shook my head at her. Well, she had just gotten what she wanted.

"And another one bites the dust," Quil said sourly. I quickly turned and fixed him with a glare. What was that supposed to mean?

Before I could ask Quil anything, someone else was already speaking. "Jake, we need to start clearing out back here," a person in a black shirt and pants said next to my date. I caught a brief exchange of money, and at that moment I realized that this was Jake's profession. He was a singer. A really good singer. And what happened to really good, amazingly hot singers? They made it big. Yep. I was definitely over my head… drowning, even.

"Yeah, we were just about to leave," Jake nodded, turning his attention to man in black, not bothering to count the large wad of bills. "How'd it go?"

"It was great practice for all the interns, thanks for the opportunity. Anytime you want to come back you let me know." The man in black tapped Jake's shoulder with a friendly pat of his clipboard and left with busy, purposeful strides.

I couldn't help my curiosity. "Who was that?"

"Who, Brian?" he asked looking down at me. "Just an old friend. He offers us a gig every now and then when he wants to weed out some students and interns. They treat everything as a real production. It's an easy way to see who can cut it."

I nodded with understanding. That was something a lot of professors did in college. There were many courses set up just to "weed out" the uninterested, naive, and non-committal students. It was just a part of this life that everyone had to accept. I looked around one last time, feeling a bit sorry for the individuals who couldn't cut it. I hope they had a back-up plan when they realized this was just a test.

"Well, you ready," he asked, a smile playfully showing on his lips… God, those lips! Unable to speak because of the direction of my thoughts, I nodded. "Good. So, I was thinking," he began, grabbing my hand and interlacing our fingers. I felt my eyes widen at the contact. It was odd having his large fingers in between mine. Nice, but odd. I tried to slow my heart rate as he continued. "I just need to run home for a quick shower and then we can go to dinner. Do you mind?"

My mind was too busy of thinking about him in the shower to reply; especially while our hands were connected. All I could think of his bronze skin glistening wet, surrounded by the steam only hot water could produce. The water gently traveling over his body… me… joining him.

"Hello?" His voice snapped me out of my imagination.

"Huh?" I asked confused as to how we got outside so quickly.

"Do you mind if I go home and take a quick shower?"

"No," I said a little too loudly. Clearing my throat, I softened my tone. "No, of course not. But what about the reservations?"

"I won't be long," he tightened his grip on my hand as he kept leading me out to a back parking lot. "Promise."

I was held captive by the promise in his eyes for a moment as he looked down at me. I loved it when he looked at me… He was very appealing to look back at. It gave my eyes something to do while we shared sweet, shy smiles during our brief walk to his car.

To my surprise, it wasn't long before we reached a shiny, black muscle car. I paused and stared at the gorgeous piece of machinery. It was old but very well taken care of, and it screamed "a future rock star owns me!" I looked back at Jake in time to see him lean down and open the passenger door for me.

"Like it?" He asked a bit smugly.

Who wouldn't? I bit my lip to try to hide the appreciative smile that wanted to surface. Jake standing next to this car was a sight to behold. Both of them were heart-stoppingly beautiful. Sleek, dark, and sinfully masculine.

My silence was obviously the compliment he was looking for as I ducked into the passenger side and slid into the leather bench seat. His intoxicating scent lingered in his car along with the leather and the slight smell of Armor All and coffee. I instantly loved it.

It wasn't long before his presence dominated the front compartment. With the close of his door, I was confined to the now much smaller space with him… I had no problem with that.

I knew I needed to talk so I could have a reason to look at him. My eyes wanted to stare and I wanted to give them a reason to. "What kind of car is this? It's beautiful." The sound of the engine roaring to life registered in my ears while it purred with the elegance of a black panther. I loved this car. I wanted this car… and the driver.

"'68 GTO. Restoring old cars is a bit of a hobby of mine."

I tried to imagine him fixing up old cars. It was easier than I thought. A vision of him quickly filtered in my mind. His hands and face smudged with oil. His bottom half poking out from underneath a car as he worked diligently to give it life. It was kind of sexy to think about.

"Do you have any hobbies?" He asked.

I tried to think… did I? "I like to write," I admitted shyly.

"Like novels and poems?"

"More of the novels and less of the poems. I'm not really a prophetic person when it comes to poetry."

He nodded his head as if he was really interested. "It's kind of hard sometimes, isn't it?"

"_You_ write poetry?" I asked disbelievingly. A hard, massive, rocker guy that fixed cars- settling down with a cup of tea at night to write a bit of poetry was hard to imagine.

"No, but I write songs. It's a bit of the same, I think."

"Oh," I thought for a moment. "Yes, I suppose it is." A hard, massive, rocker guy sitting down with to jot some songs down with a bottle of whiskey was much easier to envision.

"Anything else you like to do?" He asked.

"Writing is my passion and school and work keeps me so busy that I barely have to even enjoy that anymore." I wasn't as interesting as he hoped, I'm sure. Any minute now he'd realize this date was a mistake and run for the hills.

"Where do you work?"

"Al's Pizza and Beer," I sighed knowing he wouldn't be impressed with my place of employment; but, it paid what little bills I had and I wasn't about to take any more money from my parents. I wanted to make my own way.

"Oh yeah? I've been there. It's just around the corner from here isn't it?"

I looked around, barely aware of my surroundings. We were still _technically_ on campus. "Yes it is actually." I hesitated a moment before adding. "But I only work on the weekends and if Al needs me to fill in from time to time. Bay and I work there together." His brow lifted at the new information I was voluntarily giving him. Yep- here came the word vomit. Seemingly enough, he appeared to be sincerely interested in what I was saying.

"How long have you guys known each other?"

"Who, Bay?" He nodded. "Since ninth grade."

"And that would be how long exactly?" His question gave me pause. It was a harmless question; however, it made me realize that we barely knew each other at all. He didn't have a clue how old I was or even my last name. I didn't know his either.

_Well you know what his lips feel like, don't you?! _My subconscious had to remind me. I cringed at the small voice in my head.

"For about six years or so."

"So you're what? Twenty?"

"I will be next month," I answered wanting him to know I'd quickly be out of my teens soon.

"Dear God," he said it almost as a curse. "You're still a baby."

"No I'm not."

With one hand on the large, slender wheel of his car, he looked over at me, shock and disbelief marring his beautiful features. "Yes you are. Jesus, I had no idea you were _that_ young."

I took offense to his tone. "And how old are you?"

"Old enough to know better," he murmured with disgust. I didn't know how to react. What in the hell was that supposed to mean? I could feel my brow forcefully lower than usual as I crossed my arms over my chest. I wasn't going to sit here and be patronized all night. If he thought this was how to carry on with a date and have me take it, he was seriously mistaken.

"Well maybe you should have asked me that before you shoved your tongue down my throat and begged me to come on this date with you."

An emotion I couldn't quite name flickered over his face; but, it soon left my line of sight as he slammed his foot on the break, lurching me forward in my seat. I was so caught off guard by the act that I was stunned and flattened against his dash board.

"What in the hell is your—" before I could even think to finish my brash question, his lips harshly covered mine, stopping any hateful words I had planned to say. At first, I fought against his powerful need to claim my mouth, but I soon couldn't fight the feeling that spurred to life inside of me. My heart was drumming a beat against my ribs while my veins heated to life. It was as if my body naturally reacted to him. The urge to kiss him was almost more than I could bear. And as I yielded to him, his tongue invaded mine and clashed with my will to keep up. It was a rough kiss, almost punishing; however, brilliantly amazing at the same time. Somewhere in the back of my mind I felt myself fall off a landing that I had my feet planted to for much too long. It was a revelation—one that let me know the world as I knew it was about to change forever.


	5. Chapter 5: Lots of Firsts

**Hey guys—here's chapter five. Keep the reviews coming! ;-)**

**Laters,**

**B**

Chapter Five

Lots of Firsts

I felt his breath splay across my face as he pulled away and tried to pull in a gulp of much needed air. This was insane. The several honking cars behind us told me as much. Capturing my face between his hands, he looked at me directly in the eyes. "I said I was old enough to know better not that I didn't care. Honestly, it doesn't matter. It should, but it doesn't. I'm too selfish to not allow myself a taste." He paused for a moment and looked down at small gap between us. "Besides… I don't see you complaining when I 'shove my tongue down your throat'." I could feel myself flush at his words. I was grateful that it was night and he couldn't see how much his words affected me. No. I was most definitely _not_ complaining.

Without another word from me, he turned and began driving once again. This time I stared at him without feeling the need to talk. I was so taken aback about what just happened that I could barely catch my breath. If he wasn't panting hard himself I would venture to say that he was totally unaffected by me. I don't know how he could even drive right now.

Whether or not I would admit it to her, my best friend was a psychic… she had to be. I didn't know if it would be tonight, but sometime in the very near future, I was going to give myself to Jake. The chemistry that Bay had defined earlier was suffocating the air around us. On top of that, a new feeling, one I had never felt before now, was pulsating throughout the car, and I was sure it was sexual tension— because it was originating from the place between my legs.

_Well that's new…_

As we rounded a corner and Jake began to slow his rumbling car, I looked around at all the white condos lining the streets. It was a quaint little area; nothing too fancy or too poor, just somewhere in the middle. Kids were still playing outside and people were jogging their nightly routines.

When he finally pulled into a driveway, I debated with myself on whether or not I should get out. Alone in his apartment – with him naked in the shower— after a kiss like that made me question why I was still a virgin. Now that I was thinking about it, I was curious to know how he'd feel about me once he figured out I was.

"You comin'?" He asked, opening his door. I _wanted_ to.

"Uhmmm… I'm not sure that's—" He didn't give me time to finish. He was already out and at my door before I could blink. Opening it, he held his hand out for me and I took it a little too eagerly.

"I don't want you sitting alone out here in my car while I get ready." I didn't say anything as he guided me up his driveway and to his front door. I looked curiously around his charming vestibule, listening to the keys jingling in his hands as he prepared to unlock the door. It was clean and tidy out here; well-manicured some may even say. The lawn was cut, bushes were hedged perfectly, and on his porch there were two outdoor chairs facing the drive. They were barely slanted towards one another with a table standing solidly in between them. I quickly noted the ashtray sitting on the table and briefly wondered if Jake smoked. He didn't smell like he did… he didn't taste like it for that matter.

When the cool air from inside his apartment hit me, so did his alluring scent. If I thought his car smelled like him, his condo was even more inviting. He held the door open for me as I stepped over the threshold before ushering me in further so he could close the door.

All I could do was look around, welcoming the fact that I was getting a glimpse of this personal side of Jake. This was the first time I had ever stepped a foot in a man's domain before… well, alone anyways. His apartment said more about him than I realized. Even though it was dark, except for a few dim lights in the kitchen that happen to spread throughout the room, I was able to see how everything was simply decorated with functional looking furniture donning dark colors. In almost every corner, there was a guitar situated on a stand. While figuring out that music was obviously his first love, I couldn't help but keep my eyes moving over everything else. It was my own way of trying to understand him.

With an open floor plan, I was standing in the middle of a very large room that served as three. To my left was an open, modern kitchen with a small dining area that housed a bar-like table with four tall chairs. In the center of table there was a black, glass bowl holding a variety of fruit. So, not only was he a simple, functional, music lover… he may also be a healthy eater.

_Well, duh… just look at that body._

Continuing my exploration, I kept looking around. To my right was the living room; the flatscreen T.V. mounted on the wall _had_ to be his second most prized possession. It easily dominated the wall and all the furniture was situated around it. Unlike art or other decorations, the T.V. was the focal point. Averting my eyes past the living room and over Mr. Distracting, I could see a hallway that most likely led to other necessary quarters... I wonder if I would ever get to see them.

When my eyes finally made their way back towards Jake, he was wearing a discerning smirk. "What?" I asked, unable to fight the urge to smile back at him.

"You," he chuckled. "You look like you're investigating me or something."

I felt my face flush. Did he know how right he was? To my reaction, he let out another masculine sound that was similar to laughter. Whatever it was, it made my heart double in speed; especially when he took a step closer to me and gently brushed some hair away from my face. "Relax," he breathed. "I am just kidding."

I heard myself swallow audibly in the silence around us, my eyes zeroing in on his tantalizing mouth. The taste of him was still on my tongue, and I couldn't help but run it over my swollen bottom lip, remembering his kiss from earlier.

I braced myself as he began to come closer, his face losing all the humor it had mere seconds before. With his eyes locked on mine, his breathing audibly increased as he let out soft sigh that was tinged with anticipation. It was a very primal sound that registered with the most feminine part of body. Even if I was inexperienced in the ways of life, I knew what that noise was. I knew what it meant. He wanted me. This was it. This was when everything was about to change. Wherever this kiss would lead, I would gladly follow; possibly knowing that it would alter my heart and body irrevocably.

In reaction to my last thought, alarm bells started sputtering off in my head, a get-out-while-you-can easily heard in their warning. While their cautionary threat was clouding my conscious, I could still sense this alluring tension between us. I wanted to test the boundaries of that tension, see how far it could stretch. Even I knew it was a pressure that would never be sated until we had shared a bed.

If I needed a sign that this moment wasn't right for what was about to happen, the sound of a phone ringing made me jump back far enough to stop all possibilities from continuing. With a muffled curse, Jake reached into his pocket and fished out his cell phone; looking down at the display before bringing to his ear.

At first I couldn't hear anything he was saying. All I could do to hold myself up was brace my back against the cold metal of his front door, trying to cover up the fact that I needed to heave just to get my breath back. I almost just lost my self entirely. How had I, a girl that never took risks for fear of the unknown, just loose herself to man she barely knew?

"What happened?" Jake's alarmed voice finally made its way into my ears. "Well, what was his blood sugar level?" Turning away from me, Jake cursed again and began stomping through his house, drawing my eyes to his boots and the unique way they clambered against the dark oak floors of his apartment.

His worried tone stayed with me while he left me standing alone in his living space. It immediately made me feel uneasy, like I was an intruder or something. The call sounded serious… maybe I should go. I needed to call Bay. I reached into my purse and found my phone, noticing several text messages from her on the back-lit display. I touched a button on the screen to retrieve them.

_Hope you're having a good time!_

_Remember to keep things going._

_Love u!_

_****Bay****_

_Paul's with me at the dorms. He's sooo flirty and HOT! _

_We're going to head to a Sigma Phi kegger. How's the date going so far? _

_3 3_

_****Bay****_

_So, I'm going to need our room for the night._

_Sorry I'm imposing the do-not-disturb scarf on the door handle rule._

_Madison said you can bunk with her and Julie— if you need to ;)_

_TTYL, _

_****Bay****_

Damn… what's it been fifteen minutes since I've seen her? Paul's a fast worker, I'll give him that. She normally wasn't one to give into a guy so quickly. She must feel the same spark that I feel towards Jake; but, unlike me she wasn't a virgin. She wasn't terrified to give into the one thing that I was starting to want more than anything.

I sighed loudly, thinking of the only response I could give her right now.

_BE SAFE! _

_~ Ness_

I threw my phone back into my purse and stood awkwardly by the front of the door. I didn't know what else to do as I hadn't been properly invited in to make myself any more comfortable. It didn't even matter at this point. I wasn't even sure about where I was going to be sleeping tonight. Ugh! I can't believe Bailey. Kicking me out of my own room?! An unwanted imagine floated into my head. I winced my face together as I tried to get it out of my brain. On second thought, I'd rather not be there tonight. Let's just hope they keep all action confined to her side of the room… What am I going to do? I don't want to stay with Julie and Madison— they probably got their own scarves on the door! Hell, they had more scarves than they did underwear.

An instant later, Jake rushed into the room wearing different clothes, a head of wet hair, and smelling of soap and that intoxicating cologne of his.

"Did you take a shower?" I asked, shocked. He was only gone three minutes at the most.

"Yeah, just a quick one," he took a deep breath a looked over me once more, his face mirroring an emotion along the lines of regret. "Listen, I know we had plans, but my sister just called me. My dad's diabetic and his sugar got too high. My sister had to take him to the hospital... He's okay now, but her car broke down and she's worried that something may happen again and she needs to get more insulin for him—"

I stepped forward and placed my hand on his arm, hearing the panic rising in his voice and wanting to give him some type of comfort. I could tell that he was close to his family as much as he was to his band. It touched me in a way I didn't expect. "Don't worry about explaining. Go to them; they need you."

Jake nodded but didn't move. He just looked down at my hand on his arm and then back up to my eyes, looking as if he is thinking hard about something. Taking another steadying breath in he asked, "Will you come with me?"

I felt my mouth open a little, surprised by his question. "Are you sure?" What I wanted to ask was "Is that such a good idea?" but it's not like I have a lot of other options right now. I don't have a car and Bailey is preoccupied with another member of the WolfPack.

"I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't."

Within twenty minutes we were headed down the interstate at an exceedingly fast speed, a tiny vile of insulin in a pharmacy bag separating us. His driving should have made me nervous, but it sort of reminded me of my father's; I felt at ease with him so in control. As I relaxed in the seat, I gazed around at the blurring scenery. It was a road I was very familiar with. It led back to my home town of Forks; which had me pondering where his dad lived.

Somewhere in my thoughts, my subconscious tittered sarcastically at me, reminding me how lucky I was to have such a _wonderful _first date. That's what I get for breaking my promise to myself.

"I'm sorry I couldn't take you out tonight. By the time I get you back home, everything will be closed… even the coffee shops." Jake said, somehow picking up on my thoughts. "I'll make it up to you."

I looked over at him, feeling selfish that I was thinking about myself during a time like this. I didn't know how dire the situation was about his dad, but I knew enough to be sympathetic. By Jake's worriedly calm demeanor, it appeared to be a situation that was somewhat normal, but concerning. What little I knew about diabetics, I could understand why.

"Don't worry about it. I understand." On the outside, I gave him a reassuring smile that hopefully appeased him. Inside, I was very much looking forward to him 'making it up to me.'

Because his car was older, it didn't have air conditioning. Within minutes we both had the windows rolled down all the way to avoid the nasty film fogging up the windows. The rain we had earlier had put a slight chill to the air that was more enjoyable than the thick, humid temperature that lasted through the summer months. But, with the fast speed and the wind whipping around me, I finally gave up on pushing the hair out of my face and pulled my hair up into a messy bun that made me feel much more comfortable. That mixed with cool, fall air breezing in and out of the car drowning out the soft music playing through the stereo, I was relieved to know that this was the first time that I didn't feel tied up in knots around him. Hmmm…

"What's the smile for?"

I looked over at him to find him watching me. Had I been smiling? Was I happy that I finally felt comfortable around a guy? Unable to divulge just exactly what I had been thinking, I shrugged and looked shyly down at the floorboard of his rumbling car.

"So you're just going to leave me in suspense?"

"I was just thinking," I admitted.

He looked at me once more before focusing back on the road, his warm brown eyes glowing with curiosity. "About what?"

"Something I'm not quite at liberty to discuss."

"Oh?"

"Mmmm," I hummed in agreement. With a gall I didn't even know I possessed, I added "It's one of those if-I-told-you-I'd-have-to-kill-you things… and I'd hate to ruin this beautiful hair of yours," I said, spiritedly running my fingers through the silky strands of his now dry hair.

The act surprised a chuckle out of him. With amusing eyes, he shook his head at me, a beautiful, full smile brightening the dark cab of his car. Satisfied that I had gotten such a nice response out of him, I wanted to be more playful— I just didn't know how. I had been such a high strung, structured prude for so long, I forgot how lively banter could ease the soul.

"You're something else," he sighed and looked down at me, humor still prevalent on his features.

"Well, I'd say the same thing about you, but I realized this evening that we barely know each other."

"Ah," he smiled. "So we've finally come to that part of the date."

"What part?"

"The part where we feel each other out. Learn about what we like and don't like… you know—the usual."

Oh… well, no, I didn't know because I never dated. But, I liked the idea of _feeling _each other out.

"Well, I wouldn't say that we are really on a date anymore; but, I do have some… questions."

His eyebrow quirked up. "Such as."

Oh man, where did I begin!? "How about we start with something easy."

"Okay."

"What is your last name?"

He laughed once more. "I guess we don't know each other all that well, do we?"

"No… So what is it?" I got the sense that he didn't get the need to answer this question much as he didn't keep women around long enough to care about last names. The thought didn't sit well with me. I'd be damned if I'd be one of _those_ girls.

"It's Black. Jacob Black," he said in a bad British accent.

I giggled at his horrible impersonation and realized he had the same initials as the famous 007 agent. "That was probably the worst James Bond impersonation of all time," I couldn't keep that jab to myself.

His laugh was genuine when it met my ears. It was such a light-hearted noise that was slightly self-conscious, slightly in agreement, but uncontrolled and hearty. "Thanks. I try," he added with an endearing cockiness only he could pull off. "What else do you want to know?"

"Hmmm, let me think… How many brothers and sisters do you have?"

"I have twin sisters. You've met Rachael, and my other sister is Rebecca."

I nodded, locking their names into my memory. "Are you close to them?"

He shrugged noncommittally. "Rachael and I are closer than me and Beck, but we are all pretty close. We had to be."

"Why?" He didn't answer and I knew then that maybe his family was like mine—an off-limits topic. Since I would want him to respect how I felt about my family, I moved on. "So since you made a deal about it earlier, how old are you exactly?"

"You _are_ inquisitive aren't you?" I smiled at his mischievous tone. Even though it was the most ridiculous idea, one that stood the chance of shattering my heart into a million pieces, I had already made up in my mind that I wanted him to be the first man I ever made love to. Wasn't it fair that I actually knew more about him before we moved forward?

"Sorry."

He placed a large, warm hand on my bare knee and squeezed. "You're too gullible. I'm just teasing you again." I thought he would remove his hand immediately, but he didn't. All my thoughts concentrated on his touch. Considering it was the first time it ever happened to me, nothing else seemed to matter_ but_ his hand. The warmth of him splintered its way up my leg; making me forget all about the chill in the air. "Twenty-eight."

Twenty-eight? What was twenty eight? What does that mean— the seconds he's had his hand on my leg? He's still touching me… he's touching my thigh now. Oh my God, he's touching my thigh. All I could do was stare at where his skin invaded mine.

Most likely noticing my unmoving eyes, he removed his hold. _No…I don't want you to stop touching me._

"What about you. What is your name?"

"Huh?" I blurted out, words not really making sense at the moment. His touch affected me way too much. I took a deep breath and tried to refocus on anything but the warm, tingly spot on my thigh.

"I told you my last name, what's your's?"

"Oh…Cullen; Renesmee Cu—"

His immediately brow lowered at the mention of my last name before interrupting with disbelief; "Cullen?"

"Yeeeeah…" I drawled. Why did he just say my last name like he knew me?

"Where are you from?"

Crap… did he know? "Uh… Forks." If I had told him that I had been born a man, his face would have been less shocked.

"You're one of _the _Cullen's?"

"What is that supposed to mean? Wait, how do you know about _my_ family?"

"Because I'm from La Push. Your family is, like… legend there. Aren't they really rich or something?"

I scooted against the door, putting more space between us. I didn't like the fact that he knew about my family. Even more, I didn't know how to deal with the shock that we literally grew up near one another. What are the odds? Small world seemed to be an accurate description for what I was thinking. La Push? That meant he was Quileute if I remembered correctly… a nosy Quileute that knew too much about my family.

"So, family is a touchy subject?" Jacob asked, obviously picking up on my sudden discomfort.

"To say the least," I breathed before a thought hit me. "Uhmm, Jacob?"

"I like it better when you called me Jake."

"Where are we going…_ Jake_?"

He looked out at the road and smiled. "Home."

I felt my heart pick up at his tiny phrase. "like, La Push, home?"

"Yep."

_Shit! _Not only was this our first date (my first date in years), but also the first time I would be meeting his family. And with being so close, how could I not go and see mine? Well… isn't this turning out to be a date for this history books.

"Having second thoughts about coming with me?"

I couldn't lie to him. My face was telling him everything I wasn't— that I wasn't thrilled about going home. Why had I agreed to come along anyways? Oh… right, Bailey.

"In my defense, I didn't know we'd be taking a _three_ hour drive to help your sister and deliver a bottle of insulin."

"With the way I drive, it only takes two."

I rolled my eyes at him, unable to reveal my inner thoughts. "Don't you think this is a bit much for a first date?" It's already past 10 P.M., by the time we got home it would be at least two or three in the morning. And I still had to figure out where I was going to sleep!

"You said it wasn't a date anymore."

"Wow."

"What?"

"You're already using my words against me and we haven't even had a proper first date yet." I couldn't help the smile that decided to surface, feeling the conversation turn lighter. I was starting to find it normally did when I was around him long enough.

"The key word there is 'yet.'"

An hour and a half later we were strolling into the city limits of a place I knew very well. I couldn't believe it. I was driving into a town that I basically grew up near with a gorgeous guy I didn't even know a week ago, in his incredible car, on our first un-official date, meeting his family for the first time. What in the hell had I gotten myself into? I blame Bailey. Yes… this was her fault… her and her scarf.

Before I could even think of how I could get myself out of this, we were pulling into an unpaved driveway that faced a small homely, red cabin. The sound of his engine no longer running made my ears feel weird without the noise. The only good thing about it was that I couldn't hear my heart sputtering to a lively and ferocious beat. Yes. I was nervous to meet his family. What would they think of me? I was beginning to hate this anxious feeling that decided to come into my life the moment I met Jake. College I could do without any hesitations, this man, however, made me feel things I hadn't felt in years, if ever.

The small light near the front door coming on pulled my attention to it. It was followed by an abrupt shove of the wooden screen door and a familiar face outlined in the darkness. I tried to steady myself as Jacob pulled his keys out the ignition and opened his door, grabbing the pharmacy bag that held the valuable serum that would help his father.

I stayed in the car, giving brother and sister a moment of privacy as they hugged one another. While they shared sibling affection, I watched with a tad bit of jealousy fluttering through my body. I had always wanted a brother or sister. I wondered why my parents never had any other children. They were amazing, loving parents who deserved more people to share it with.

Watching Jacob wipe the tears away from Rachel's face made my heart swell even more. He loved his family—that much was obvious. He canceled our date, and wherever it would have led, to do this for them. Not to mention how gentle he was being with his sister when he brought her back in for another soothing hug.

During their second embrace he must have said something to her about me, because she backed him away with a push and looked at where I was sitting in his car. _Crap!_ She looked angry. Maybe I shouldn't have come. It didn't feel right being here during a time that was usually solely reserved for family. I leaned forward and seen her appear to scold him about something before walking quickly in my direction. _Shit!_ What do I do? Call my parents to come get me? How would I explain this situation to them?

"Ness?" She asked, squinting her eyes in the dark to try to see me. I took a deep breath in and pushed open the door, getting out right before she reached me. I was shocked when she pulled me in for a very firm hug. "I'm so sorry. It's a Friday night; I should have known he was on a date." It was a harmless comment, but it reminded me how much a player my date was.

_Another reason to NOT date him! _My brain screamed at me.

"Don't apologize. Family comes first," I replied hugging her back. "I'm sorry that I tagged along… this being a time for family and all.

I heard a sobbing chuckle come from her as she released me and grabbed onto my forearms. Although I couldn't see her reddened eyes in the darkness, I could make out her tear-stained face and hear how her voice had been altered by her stuffy nose. She was understandably upset by tonight's events.

"Nonsense, it's so good to see you again. I'm glad you came. It will cheer all of us up. Not to mention my dad will be wanting to meet the girl that caught and held my brother attention for longer than a second. It's not every day that happens, believe me."

I nodded uncomfortably and looked to where Jake had been standing. He was watching us anxiously while Rachel pulled me towards the house.

_Well, Mr. Player Extraordinaire should be worried! Lots of secrets can be revealed when surrounded by family and friends._ I groaned inwardly at my wayward thoughts. I didn't like to be constantly reminded of his past conquests. I had a feeling I would be reminded all evening.

As we reached Jacob, Rachel slapped him in the stomach with the back of her hand. "How dare you leave your date in the car like that," she chided, passing him by without a second glance, dragging me behind her. I stifled my own laughter, feeling like I was truly welcome here with her unique reception. "Where are your manners, anyways?"

The warmth of his dad's cabin met me along with the scent of strong coffee and family. It was a place that, though small and un-extravagant, made someone feel comfortable as soon as they entered. I could feel Jake behind me rather than see him. His presence was always dominant in my awareness; especially in the tight confines of the tiny wooden home. Oddly, at this minute, it was just as reassuring as his family's home.

"Dad's a bit sleepy from the rigorous testing the hospital put him through, but he'll want to meet you," she told me. "God, I would not do tonight over again if someone paid me a fortune. It's frightened me to the bone," Rachel sniffled. "He was unresponsive for several minutes because his blood sugar was so high. He's got to start eating better," her voice shook as she spoke. "If I ha—hadn't been here…"

"Hey," Jake grabbed Rachel's arm, effectively turning us both towards him. "Don't think like that. I'll talk to him, okay? He knows he can't eat sweets and carbs like he used to. We'll stage an intervention if we have to. For right now he's okay. Let's just concentrate on that, alright?"

Rachel sniffed again and blotted away a few stray tears on her sleeve. Letting out a cathartic sigh, she nodded at her brother.

Moving his eyes to mine, he stood up straight and reached his hand out for me. That was a sight every woman should experience at least once in her life. They all should see a man like this reaching for her, wanting her next to him. I gave into his wants, also giving into mine, as he intertwined our fingers before giving them a good squeeze. With an encouraging smile, he led me around a corner and into a modest family room.

If I thought walking into his apartment gave me an insight to who he was, his child-hood home may have explain a bit more; but, as soon as I walked into the small living space, I couldn't look around. I could only focus my eyes on the older, sleeping man resting in a recliner; a wheelchair close to his side. Where was his mom?

As the sound of the television turning off registered in my ears, the gentleman lying in the recliner immediately awakened to the lack of noise. I didn't know if it was because Rachel had turned off the college football game that no one was watching or because he became aware that he had company.

"Dad," Jake began, letting go of my hand and kneeling in front of his dad's chair. "I brought you something," he said putting the paper bag holding the insulin on his father's blanketed lap. "How are you feeling?"

"Son, this is a nice surprise," his dad's drowsy voice croaked. "You didn't have to come all this way to bring me this. Rachel could have gotten it." I was confused by his father's statement. One—he avoided Jake's question about how he was feeling. And, two— didn't he know Rachel's car was on the fritz? Maybe they hadn't told him. I could understand why they would keep that bit of information away from him in his condition. Not only did he look well-worn from the hospital visit, but he looked ill in general… and with the wheelchair within reach, possibly paralyzed from the waist down.

"It wasn't a problem. I actually brought something else with me," Jake's voice had changed suddenly, a bit of anxiety tunneling through his voice. Unexpectedly, his father's sleepy eyes finally took notice of the others in the room. When his oddly, familiar brown eyes found mine, my nervousness ebbed away. Both Rachel and Jacob had his honest, caring eyes. I knew then that I was in good company, great actually.

"Who is this," he asked, smiling at me. I felt everyone's eyes on me in that instant and wished I took a moment before entering to pull my hair down from the rat's nest it was in after the car ride.

"_This_" Jake began, turning towards me to grab my hand again. "Is Renesmee… my date for the evening." His father's eyes widened disbelievingly. It was if he had told him that werewolves and vampires were real. "Ness, this is my father, Billy Black."

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Black" I greeted, bending at the waist to extend my free hand in his direction. When Billy's gentle, calloused hands took mine, I felt an immediate acceptance roll off of him.

"The pleasure is mine, young lady. Please call me Billy." With a knowing smile, he looked over at his son. It was an expression that I recognized as shocked curiosity. It meant he would want all the details about me later. "You'll have to forgive my surprise. It's not every day Jacob brings a beautiful woman home to meet his old man. Actually, he's never brought a date home before… ever" What… I was the first girl he _ever _brought home? And it was just our first date?

I heard Jake mutter something cynical under his breath. Though I couldn't be sure, I thought he said something along the lines of "Jesus, dad… Thanks!"

"Well, I now know where Jake gets his charm from," I murmured not knowing what else to say while I held both of their hands. Everyone's laughter filled the small room and I vaguely wondered how much amusement these walls had held. With such a great family, it had to be full of wonderful stories.

Billy digested this information for a moment, a mischievous glint flickering in his dark eyes. "Oh, he's been charming you, has he?"

"Oh, yes," I giggled, noticing his father good-humored side. "He's just full of charm."

"Oh, he's full of something alright. I'm just not sure it's charm," Billy joked sarcastically. "Don't just sit there, son, offer her a seat and something to drink."

An hour and three cups of coffee later, I had heard _many_ embarrassing stories about Jake and his antics while growing up. I'm sure he had blushed more in the past hour than I had in the [almost] week we had known each other.

"Well now that my family has permanently mortified me, I'm going to go get some fresh air," Jake said standing from the tattered couch we had been sharing since meeting his father. "Would you like to join me?" He asked gazing down at me.

"Sure," I agreed, taking his outstretched hand once again. It was beginning to be something I was getting used to, but I still wasn't accustomed to the butterflies in my belly that awakened when we touched. The sparks that tickled over my skin with his contact was something I would never be familiar with.

As we walked our way through the house, I glanced around; seeing various candid and school pictures of Jake and his sisters. I wanted to spend more time gazing at them; however, Jake kept me moving through a cozy kitchen and out a back door.

"Where are we going?" I asked, disliking how dark everything was. I had become too accustomed to the bright city lights to be comfortable out here—where barely the moonlight lit the ground.

"My shop," was all he said. He was sure-footed and direct in the night as he pulled me along carefully and quietly. I was growing curious with each step. All the more, I was beginning to regret my choice of shoe when he guided me to the edge of a small hill surrounded by towering and foreboding trees.

_Cree-py!_

"Uhmm, exactly where is your shop?"

"Just down here," he said turning towards me. Before I could make any objections about moving any further, Jake tuned and picked me up without any strain on his part. The light squeal I let out at his startling actions echoed in the night around us. Even though he cradled me effortlessly, I grappled my arms around his neck and pulled myself as close to him as I could. The sharp incline we were heading down was frightening; especially when I couldn't see it.

"Jake, please" I held back a scream that wanted explode from my lungs and gripped him tighter. I was completely at his mercy and I didn't like it.

"Relax, I've got you," his voice was next to my ear, effectively silencing me. Well, maybe I did like it. He stopped walking and looked down at me, increasing his hold as he did.

_Yes, you do have me!_ I wanted to yell, but, instead, swallowed harshly at my thoughts and gazed up at his shadowed face.

"I—I can walk." I said, licking my lips to satisfy the itch to kiss him. It didn't work. With him holding me, I could barely think; much less mollify my own desires. The soft moonlight just barely reflected off of his bottom lip. It was all I could look at.

"Not in these shoes, you can't," he whispered, somehow sensing my wants before lowering his face to mine. Although my heart dropped at the contact, I welcomed the warmth of his mouth on mine. It was a gentle kiss this time. Not as punishing as the last, but just as gratifying. No matter how he kissed me, the result was always the same: An unbearable passion that seemed to grow without limits.

I used my grip around his neck to propel myself closer to him, intensifying our tender kiss into something else. Hearing a satisfied groan come from his throat did something to my body. Hill, cliff, mountain, a thousand feet in the air, I no longer cared. I opened my mouth and invited him in, thriving in the feeling of his tongue delving between my lips to tangle with mine. God this man knew how to kiss!

I whimpered into his expert caress, our breathing growing heavier with each stroke of our tongues. The wetness of our kiss flooded outward and mingled with the other nocturnal sounds around us, making me hyper-aware of every one of my senses. When I felt his grip under my legs lightened and my feet lower to the ground, I thought we were still on the hill where we began this incredible kiss. But, as I felt the pressure of something cold and hard against my back, I realized we were on flat ground and standing in front of a building. With more force than I expected, Jake pressed me into the unforgiving structure and brought his hands up to frame my face. His kiss had been so life-altering that I didn't even notice he had been walking down a hill the entire time.

"You're so beautiful," he panted, lowering his mouth to my neck. The instant his tongue touched my sensitive skin, my knees buckled underneath me. It took great effort to hold my body in an upright position as I experienced the first time of being kissed anywhere other than my lips. I leaned my head back until the wall behind me stopped it. His exploring tongue moved languidly along my neck causing fire to erupt in my veins, slicing its way through my body and into my frantically beating heart. No wonder Jake had a laundry list of women in his metaphorical, little black book. He was making me feel as if the earth was going to open up and swallow me whole. My fingers involuntarily kneaded and clawed at his biceps while he kept moving lower and lower, suckling his way down to the base of my throat.

"Ja—Jake," I gasped, needing some type of release. Normally, I was ticklish on my neck; how he got me to find no humor in this would always confound me. In fact, how he got everything below my tummy to throb achingly by only kissing my neck would always stun me. How had I gone without this feeling for so long?

I felt the urge to push my legs together to create some type of friction that would ease this new ache that I was barley on the cusp of understanding. Before I could move to do just that, I felt his long muscular leg move in-between mine, separating them. The heat between my legs grew warmer as it bounced of his denim-clad thigh and came back to me. His hands made their way down while his lips began to ascend their trail back up. I was experiencing a myriad of emotions and sensations. Everything was new and breathtaking.

When I felt him reach down and grab the underside of my knee, I hadn't expected him to do anything else; so when he hiked my leg up to his waist, it was all I could do to remain standing. Here I was in a dress made for someone way shorter than I was, pressed against a cold building in the middle of the dark woods, while I was spread open to a man ravishing my neck, and me clawing at him as though my life depending on it. Who in the hell was I? I wasn't this girl. I wasn't the type of girl that did these things. Right when I was beginning to think otherwise, his lips found mine again just as he pushed his arousal up against the thin barrier of my panties and my wet, aching flesh.

_ALARM BELLS!_

"Wait," I pushed against his chest, not quite able to move him; but effectively stopping him from kissing me. "We—I can't."

"What?" His hard breathing was poignant to each part of my body. I can't believe _I _was able to turn this beautiful man on like this.

"I'm sorry. I want to. I just… can't."

Jake let go of my leg and stepped away, letting out a ragged exhalation as he did. Swipping a hand down his face, he stammered, "N-no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for things to move that fast. When I start kissing you I…"

"I know what you mean." I replied, pulling my dress down. I pushed off of the garage-like structure behind me, shivering from either the cold or the warmth that he took from me when he stepped away.

"You can go back to the house if you like. I just need to check out my sister's car before we go. I shouldn't be long."

I looked up the small mound of a hill that led back to the house and realized I didn't want to go back in there without him. "I'll just wait with you, if you don't mind."

I was rewarded with that beautiful smile of his. "I don't mind. I just didn't know if you did."

He quickly opened up his "shop" and found a light switch. As the light flooded the room, I squinted from the sudden brightness and gazed around. It smelled like motor oil and rusted metal. There was a chaotic organization to the work-space that gave it unique character. There were car parts strew about in different places. Mason jars full of screws, washers, and other un-named bits of metal. A work-bench that had been well-used, and, in the center of the garage, was an old, faded red Volkswagen Rabbit.

"Is this your sister's car?" Seems like such an insignificant question after what just took place outside.

"Yes. Well, it used to be mine; but, when her other one shit the bed, I gave this one to her."

"That's nice of you." I watched as he began walking confidently around his space, knowing where everything was. Just as he popped the hood of the car, I asked. "I saw a truck by the house, does that belong to her as well?"

"No, that's my dad's truck. We rigged it so he can drive," he said, propping in the up on a long metal stem. "He became paralyzed because of his diabetes many years ago. She doesn't drive it well."

"Oh," I let out; feeling once again like my statement was insignificant. How exactly do I respond that that kind of information? Do I apologize for his dad? Offer him my empathy? All of my thoughts halted when he leaned over the engine to get a better look. Toying and clanging with a few things, he bent lower, giving me an outrageous view of his backside. Dear Lord, I had been right. The mechanic thing is very sexy.

"Hey, can you hand me that ratchet on the work-table?"

"Sure." I agreed, feeling useful but slightly disappointed that I could no longer admire the view. I walked over to the work-bench and looked over all the well-used tools scattered across the wooden surface. "Uhmmm, Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Which one is the ratchet?"

His masculine laughter was muffled by the metal engine underneath him. I heard his booted feet come closer before I saw him reach out and grab a skinny looking tool with bulbous end and an unusual adapter jutting out of its head.

"This is the ratchet," he held it up, his hands already smudged with dirt and oil.

"What does it do exactly?"

"A lot, actually. Loosens and tightens things mostly."

"I know the feeling," I announced for no other reason than to utterly humiliate myself. "I mean— Uh… I meant…"

Jacob's merriment was something I couldn't help but enjoy, even if it was in reaction to my stupidity. He was the kind of guy that liked to smile and laugh. It was nice to be around someone that wasn't so serious all the time. My family had a bad habit of being that serious. Well, with the exception of my Uncle Emmet.

"You are too damned cute," he chuckled, bending down towards me and gracing my lips with a swift, gentle kiss. From such a large man, it was hard to believe how tender he could be. "And much too distracting in here," he said, backing himself away.

My eyes stayed glued to his retreating back while he returned to the task of working on his sister's car. How could he just act as if nothing affected him? My heart was currently crashing against my ribs, reminding me, yet again, that it was there and he was the cause for its erratic behavior. I took in a deep breath and looked around for a place to sit. My legs were beginning to feel weak every time we kissed; which led me to the understanding of why people ending up on their backs after a kiss like that.

Having on a white dress that wasn't mine took away several of my options for a suitable chair. Finally spotting a bench seat in the corner large room, I began walking over to it. It looked to be out of an old Chevy truck. Actually, it was in reasonable condition for its age. Although it had been torn in one place, a red flannel blanket was draped over it that made it look inviting. It seemed as though many people sat here while Jake worked efficiently on one of his hobbies; maybe even members of the WolfPack.

The soft tapping on the garage startled me to a stand-still. I placed a hand over my heart, puzzled at why I was so jumpy. Did Jake make me jumpy? Or was it the dark, creepy forest outside? The one that looked like Michael Myers or Jason could come running [or walking menacingly] out of at any moment. Of course… serial killers didn't knock first.

"Everyone decent?" Rachel's voice was subdued by the walls of the garage. Jake popped his head up out from under the hood and had the grace to look as embarrassed as I felt. My face turned much warmer thinking of how ten minutes ago, we weren't really all that decent. Dear Lord, what was this man doing to me?

With a big sigh Jake called for Rachel to enter. When she walked in carrying a tray of food, I immediately loved her. I hadn't had much time to think about it, with all the nerves of the first date, all incredible kisses, and meeting the family, but, now I was starving. "I know I interrupted your date, and I wasn't sure if you guys had a chance to eat anything. I thought you may be hungry. Since it's almost one in the morning, I made something light. It's just some turkey sandwiches and chips."

"Is that late?" Jake and I asked at the same time… Oh my… We both smiled shyly and looked at one another. When I gazed back over to Rachel she looked stunned and rooted to the floor, a beaming, perceptive grin fixed upon her mouth.

"You two are adorable together… just so you know," she said more to her brother than to me while she placed the tray on Jake's work bench.

"Thanks for the food, Rach," Jake replied, tapping the ratchet against his palm. He looked a little uncomfortable with her statement; which, in turn, made me uncomfortable.

"I also brought you one of Jake's old sweatshirt, Ness," she remarked, stepping towards with a large grey sweatshirt in her outstretched hand. "It gets cold out here at night."

"Awe, thank you, Rachel. That is so thoughtful. And for the food as well…. I didn't realize until I had seen it, how hungry I was." I took the sweatshirt from her and slipped it over my head, reveling in its instant warmth and dwarfing size. It was as long as the dress I was wearing and smelled of laundry soap and Jake.

When I looked over at Jacob, he was watching me with an odd expression. He still looked as if something was making him uncomfortable. Whatever it was, it didn't sit well with me. Did he not want me wearing his sweatshirt? His frown increased as our eyes met from across the room. What did I do?

"Well, I will leave you to it," Rach murmured— not noticing Jacob's expression, or if she didn't she was commenting on it while she headed back towards the garage door. "Thanks for looking at the car, Jake. Do you think it's fixable?"

"I don't know yet."

"Okay. Just let me know. I am going to get some rest, but if you guys need anything, just holler."

"Thanks," We both said at the same time again. I didn't look at Jake this time, though I felt his eyes on me. I didn't want to see the discomfort that he was obviously feeling because of me. Instead, I kept my eyes fixed on a frozen and astonished Rachel. With a shake of her head, she smiled and gave me a silent wave before making her way out the door.

Ignoring him, I walked over to the tray of food and picked up a plate and one of sodas she had brought as well before heading back to my original destination. When I sat on the seat, it gave with my weight, but it was a hell of a lot more comfortable than standing. I slid of my wedges and sat cross-legged before resting my plate on top of my thighs, the fresh sliced turkey and plain potato chips calling to all my hungry senses.

"My sister sure knows how to make a guy feel like a shmuck," Jake noted sourly. When I looked up, I was surprised to see him standing in front of me, still looking at me with that unsettled countenance. Crouching down, he became eye level with me.

"What do you mean?"

"Leaving you in the car earlier… The food and sweatshirt… I should have been the one that gave you those things…been more aware of your needs. I'm not really used to the whole dating thing," he admitted, taking one of my hands in his. "And, I'm sorry. Even as bad as this night has been, you made the best of it and haven't complained once."

"Is that why you looked upset a moment ago?"

He looked a little surprised that I had noticed. "Yeah."

I nodded. "I appreciate your apology, Jake, but it' not necessary. It's been… an unusual night."

He snickered at my apt description of the evening. "That it has... Still, I'm sorry."

"Thanks," I smiled before popping a salty chip in my mouth. It was divine.

Jake grinned back at me and looked down at the ground, appearing thoughtful. "You are definitely not like any woman I have met before," his words stopped me from chewing while he stood and began walking towards the car once again.

"I'm not sure if that is a compliment or a—"

He stopped and looked over his shoulder at me, his face completely serious. "It's a compliment… trust me"

And, I did. Even though it made me feel hopeful for us, it gave me much to think over as I ate my sandwich more quickly than any woman should ever eat in front of a guy. When I was done, I swiped the crumbs off my lap and finished off my soda. I was beginning to feel that being around Jacob was changing me. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. He brought out a side of myself I had never seen before. Grabbing the flannel blanket behind me, I bundled it up and laid my head on it, stretching out the full length of the seat; snuggling into Jake's the large cozy sweatshirt. With a full tummy and a meticulous Jacob to watch, it wasn't long before I felt my eyes grow heavy. And for another first of the night, I quickly fell asleep in a garage after a very long and thoughtful day.


	6. Chapter 6: Guilt

**Hello lovelies! Here's another update that I hope you will enjoy. Many of you may be wondering when I'm going to "get to the good stuff." Well, it will be sooner rather than later! And when I will get there it'll be hot and lemony. So just be patient and let the characters move with the natural order of things. **

**OH- I want to hear your thoughts on this story as well! It makes my day to hear the soft ping of my email alerting me that I have a review. **

**Also, by _numerous _requests from my other story, "A Wolf Kind of Girl." I would like to mention that I'm working on another story with Jake and Ness that is based on the actual storyline. This, of course, will be my version of how things went differently. A spoiler (description) for it will be listed at the bottom of this chapter if you are interested. As I'm stretching myself thin by raising a teenager (my cousin's daughter, I'm only 28), going to college myself, family, bills, tutoring, and writing- please forgive me if I cannot update as frequently as you would like. Life has a way of torturing us like that.  
**

**Enjoy,**

**B**

* * *

Chapter 6

Guilt

With a start, I awakened in a dark room that I was completely unfamiliar with. Gasping, I sat up on a foreign twin sized bed, trying to remember where I was- or I how I even got here. Looking around I see different sized posters and drawings lining the paneled walls around me. There were pictures of popular cars and rock bands and one framed poster of Jessica Alba. I was obviously in a boy's room; one that had done most of his growing up in the first decade of the twenty-first century.

When I pushed off the camouflage printed blanket surrounding me, I saw and then recognized Jake's large sweatshirt wrinkled against my body. I must be in his childhood bedroom; but how did I get here? The last thing I remember was lying down in the garage out back.

I stood wobbly and sauntered over to the door, my neck stiff and head foggy. Hesitating at the door, I heard the television on in the living room and voices coming from somewhere else in the house. I felt weird leaving the safe confines of Jake's room as I stood there. Knowing I would feel awkward when I walked into an environment I'm not at all accustomed to with people I barely knew. Quiet… I'll just be quiet so I don't disturb anyone.

Opening the door totally blew the cover that I was still sleeping. It open with loud noise of wood scraping against wood and was followed by a loud, abrupt screech. If they didn't know I was awake yet, they did now!

Walking down the hall, I crossed my arms in efforts to keep in the warmth the sweatshirt provided. With just the quiet sound of my bare feet slapping against the wooden floors and the soft murmur of the television, I didn't expect a bright-eyed Rachel to pop her head in the hallway and scare the living daylights out of me.

"Good morning," she greeted with a welcoming smile. "Sleep okay?"

I fought back a chill that decided to surface and nodded. "Yes, thank you. You?"

"Fine, thanks."

"What time is it?"

"Almost eight. I'm making some breakfast. Would you like anything?"

"No thank you… just the bathroom," I blushed, feeling a customary morning need more pressing than usual.

"Oh," she turned her head and pointed down the other end of the hall. "It's the last door on the right. Coffee?" She asked holding up her own, steaming mug.

"That would be great, thanks." Yes. Coffee… Something his family and I both agreed heartily on.

I spent a few minutes in the restroom, relieving my needs and washing my face. I was a mess! My hair was un-helpable and my mascara had smeared all over my face during my obviously heavy sleep. Using my fingers, I brushed through my impossible mane and threw it back up in to a messy bun, having no other choice with it. My face looked a little better without the black smudges and my eyes were surprisingly vivid and restful. In fact, I really didn't feel tired at all. How did I sleep so comfortably in a home that wasn't mine?

Keeping on Jake's sweatshirt, I straightened out the dress underneath, groaning inwardly that I had no other comfortable clothes with me. My last-ditch effort to freshen up was to gargle some Listerine that had a place on the vanity sink of the small bathroom. With one last glance in the mirror, I left feeling more presentable and less self-conscious.

The moment I stepped backing into the hallway laughter coming from the kitchen spread throughout the entire house. I could make out two females laughing, but what was odd was that their laughter was identical. I was drawn to it as I made my way through the hallway.

Entering the living room, I saw Billy's empty recliner, his wheelchair nowhere to be found. Then, my eyes were immediately drawn to the sleeping man on the couch. Lying on his stomach, with his arms hugging the pillow propping up his slumbering, gorgeous head, was Jacob. The handmade afghan that sloppily covered him was multicolored and old-fashioned, but didn't hold my interest for long. No. All my eyes could do was soak in the perfectly etched muscles of his shirtless back. God. I had yet to see him without a shirt on. I couldn't help but imagine how amazing the other side of him looked. Curiosity driving my eyes down to where the afghan covered his trim hips, I kept my gaze traveling to the leg that had been kicked out, exposing green flanneled pajama pants and beautifully masculine bare feet that draped over the arm of the couch that was much too small for his tall frame.

The sight was touching. It even had my heart thumping a little faster. He just earned some major brownie points and didn't even know it. He let me have his bed while slept out here on the couch. And, what's more, he carried me up that hill again last night, being so gentle with me that I didn't even wake up.

"Hey," Rach spooked me once again. "Here's your coffee," she said, handing me a colorful mug of creamy coffee.

I took it with greedy hands and inhaled the wonderful scent. The song "The best part of waking up, is Folgers in your cup" lightly playing in my head. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Would you like to come join the living?" She asked, gesturing towards the kitchen.

"Sure," I said, smiling at her playful phrase before following her to where everyone other than Jake was. As soon as I entered the room, I stopped, seeing two of the same people— in the same place—at the same time.

Oh. Right. Rachel was a twin. Still, it was a surprising way to wake up in the morning.

"There she is," Billy greeted, lifting up his cup of coffee to me. "Mornin'."

"Hey," I waved with my free hand, my gaze focusing back onto the one twin I hadn't met yet.

"Is this her?" the twin asked, looking at her duplicate. I didn't know whether to feel offended or not. Either way, I couldn't shake the feeling that I had walked into a room full of people that had just been talking about me.

"Yep," Rachel answered, smiling sincerely at me. As soon as the words left her mouth, her sister jumped up and came up to me, wrapping me up in a bear hug.

I felt my eyes widened as I returned her affections. This family was full of huggers and unexpected regards. "It's so nice to meet you, I'm Rebecca." she pronounced, pulling back to look me over. "I can't believe Jake finally brought a girl home."

Before I could return her sentiments, Rachel was talking. "Well, they were on a date when I called him last night. So, it wasn't a planned venture but—"

"He brought her," she finished her sister's sentence in a way that told me it was nothing out of the ordinary. Making me feel as though I wasn't even in the room, Rebecca added, "He would never have brought home some of the women I've seen him with. Did he ask you to come with him?"

"Uhm, yes," I couldn't help but keep the uncertainty out of my voice as I remembered last night.

"See, I told you," Rachel remarked, looking satisfied while she walked towards the table. "She's different."

Was I? I wasn't so sure if I was something different to Jacob, but I knew he was something different to me. Something passionately and addictively different.

_Yes and everything you've avoided your whole life! Think of all the mistakes your mother's made! Do you want to end up like her? Chained to a man—never accomplishing anything for herself?_

"Quit talking about her, like's she's not in the room you two," Billy sighed, looking at me apologetically. "Are you hungry, Renesmee?" Billy asked, picking up a piece of toast. The loud smack that ensued echoed around the room. For the second time in less than five minutes, my eyes widened dramatically. Rachel had slapped her father's hand so hard that he had dropped the bread he had begun smearing with fresh jam.

"Don't even think about it," Rachel said, her tone warning but properly concerned. "I can't go through last night again, dad. You have to start eating better and that means no carbs."

Billy made an aggravated noise as he looked at his girls, knowing they weren't going to let him cheat on his necessary diet for quite some time. "I was getting it ready for our guest," he huffed and looked at me.

_Hey… don't bring me into this. _

"She's not hungry, dad. I already asked her. Besides, it's not nice to touch other people food, so what's your excuse?"

Properly scolded, Billy turned his attention to the small kitchen television that I was sure permanently stayed on the sports channel. With his head turned to the side, I could see his long black hair tied at the base of his neck. It was just as beautiful as his children's hair; just slightly more peppered with silver and grey streaks.

"Have a seat, Ness," Rebecca offered, pushing the only open chair out from under the table. I thanked her and sat down, taking a sip of my coffee as I looked around at the friendly faces. "So tell me about yourself."

"What would you like to know?"

"Do you live in Seattle like my brother?" She asked, scooping in a forkful of eggs into her mouth.

"Yes, I go to the University of Washington."

"What's your major?" Rachel jumped in as curious as her twin.

"English."

"Oh… so are you wanting to be a teacher or a writer?"

I smiled at her sensible intelligence. "A writer."

"Fiction or non-fiction," Rebecca continued the delightful interrogation. Normally, all these questions would make me feel anxious, but they were being sweet about it. And, I had to admit, I was just as curious about them; especially their mom… wherever she was.

"Fiction mostly," I replied, flushing a little at the feeling of being under the microscope.

"Do you work anywhere?"

Oh NO—Work! Her question immediately drew my eyes to the only clock in the room glowing on the microwave. Shew… I had plenty of time before my shift started at six this evening. I can't believe I had forgotten about work!

"From the look on her face, I'd say she does," Rachel laughed before asking. "You're not late, are you? I think my brother put your purse and shoes in his room if you needed to call anyone."

"No, I'm not late. I work at Al's Pizza and Beer near campus. My shift doesn't start until tonight, though."

"Where did you meet my brother?" Rebecca started in again.

"What's with the twenty-one question?" A deep masculine voice reverberated behind me. I turned in my chair to find Jake leaning against the open frame of the doorway, running a sleepy hand through his sexy, mussed up bed-head. Even though I wanted to keep my eyes up, I couldn't. They had a mind of their own as they wandered over his completely bare top-half. Oh. My. God!

I picked my chin up off the ground and ignored the figurative drool spilling out of my mouth. My imagination couldn't have done a better job at drawing him. Did every part of this man look as if he had been chiseled out the finest granite known on earth?

I felt my face become warmer as I roamed over each flawlessly formed pectoral muscle and down over what I was sure was the most well-defined abs the world had ever seen. I ingrained each one of them into the back of my mind, permanently searing into my memory to recall at any given moment. And just when I thought the view could get no better, my eyes went lower to the deep carved V that in-lined his lean hips and led to other amazing areas. How could he ever quit looking at himself long enough to see something else as beautiful; let alone to think I was? He was the embodiment of masculine beauty. Michelangelo's David. Greek Mythology's very own Adonis sculpted from superior marble.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," one of his sister's acknowledged him jokingly. "Would you like some breakfast?"

"No thanks, just some coffee," Jake replied, smiling wickedly at me—completely aware of my incessant ogling. Was that an invitation to look all I wanted? God, I hoped so! Feeling myself flush a million shades of red, I gawked at him as he walked up to me and brushed the back of his long fingers along my cheek. "Good morning."

"Errr— Uh— G'morning," I stammered out my greeting, sounding like the complete, dribbling idiot that I looked like; the butterflies that normally showed up whenever he was around awakened from their slumber and decided to sputter to life in my tummy.

I couldn't take my eyes off of him as he walked over to the coffee machine and got out a mug from the cabinet above. He quiclky filled it with the heavenly liquid we all were enjoying. Turning around, he looked at me over the steaming cup he brought to his lips. Hmmm… I never thought I'd see the day that I envied a cup of Joe as much as I did right now.

"What are your plans for the day, son?" Billy asked, jerking me out of my tunnel vision. Jacob needed to put on a shirt- he was much too distracting for _my_ own good!

Jake shrugged and looked at me. "Take her home, I guess... I don't have anything else planned."

"You guess," Rebecca scoffed. "You better take her home. She's got a job to get to, mister!"

Jacob's eyes expanded worriedly. "You do? When?"

"I need to be home by five." He looked as relieved as I felt when I had seen we had plenty of time to get home.

"We were just going to head to the beach if you guys wanted to come. The water may be a little cold but the sun's actually out today," Rachel offered, waiting a second for one of us to agree.

I looked up at Jacob once again, glad that I had a reason to this time. "It's up to you," he shrugged, leaning against the counter, his abs moving and flexing in the most tantalizing way.

_STOP STARING AT HIM! _ My subconscious screamed at me.

"I don't really have anything to wear," I said, pulling my lips to one side. I really wanted to go with them. A few hours at the beach sounded nice. Actually, it was the rare, late-August sun that sounded nice. Taking classes over the past summer had killed whatever chance I had at coming to the beach or visiting my family. Now that I thought about, should I call my folks and tell them I was in town? I wasn't so sure if I was ready to take that step with Jake just yet.

"We look to be about the same size," Rachel suggested. "I have some things you can wear."

I looked back at Jake, hoping he'd see how much I wanted to go. "If you got the time, we can go for a few hours if you'd like."

I nodded excitedly at him and was rewarded with two very feminine, identical squeals coming from the table.

"I just bought two of the most gorgeous bikinis from Victoria Secret," Rebecca jumped up from her chair and grabbed my arm, followed quickly by her twin. "It's going to look amazing on you."

Ten minutes later, I was wearing a brand new haltered bikini that would have looked flawless on the perfectly bronzed Native American beauty's standing across from me. However, on me, the bright pink to white ombré fabric made me look extraordinarily pale and washed out.

Thankfully Rebecca had a pair of shorts and flip-flops on hand that actually fit me. While I watched them don stylish bathing suit cover-ups, I threw on Jake's old sweatshirt that faintly still smelled of him. Yum… I could get used to that smell. I could get used to this sweatshirt. I didn't want to give it back. Although it hung over my left shoulder and went way past my hands because it was so large, I could spend eternity in its coziness.

"You like my brother's sweatshirt, don't you?"

I smiled and looked down at the dwarfing cloth on me. "It's all I have," I explained, trying to hide exactly how much I loved the comfy material.

"Yeah," Rachel snorted disbelievingly. "That you haven't taken off since last night!"

I felt myself flush at having been caught. "Okay," I sighed… "I may like it… a little," I held my thumb in index finger a half inch apart for show. They both giggled at my response, but, thankfully, left it at that. "I'll meet you guys outside. I just need to grab my cell phone."

I headed out the room they had shared while growing up and opened the door to Jake's old bedroom with Bailey's dress in hand, knowing that if I didn't text her soon, she'd call the US Marshalls to track me down. With my head in the clouds, I wasn't even thinking about knocking on a closed door; however, when I saw Jake jerk up a pair of swimming trunks over a region I was certain I would never get out of my head, I wished I had come in a few seconds later.

In an immediate reaction to what I had just seen, I gasped and slapped a hand over my mouth. "I—I… Oh my God," I shouted, turning around to give him privacy. Before I could leave, he reached out and grabbed my arm, stilling me.

"It's okay. No harm, no foul," I heard him say, the noise of him tying something into place also rising to my ears.

Unable to turn back around, I muttered out a humiliated and awkward apology. "I'm sooo sorry… I should've… I should've knocked first."

_I'll never get the sight of him out of my brain, now! How could I? He was the first man, I had ever seen naked!_

"Relax," he said placing his hands on my shoulders, using the same sentiments he had used last night. "It's nothing you probably haven't seen before."

_NO—I have never seen anything like __**that **__before!_

Unable to look at him, I closed my eyes as he turned me around; aware of him closing the door behind me with his other hand. Great! I was trapped with a man I am so physically attracted to that I couldn't stop drooling over and I just saw him NAKED!

"To make things fair," he pulled me close, his hands resting on my hips. I clenched my eyes tighter, begging the memory of his intimate male physique to fly out of my mind. "You can get naked… and I come in and catch you."

Instantly my eyes darted open, seeing his blatant implications circling around in his chocolaty irises. As a playful smile tugged at the edges of his lips, I gave his chest a good push. "I don't think so, buddy."

Not hindered at all by my push, he shrugged one of his shoulders, a soft chuckle escaping before he said, "Can't blame a guy for trying."

With barely an inch separating us, he started to lean down. Knowing what he wanted, I raised up on the tips of my toes to meet him halfway, my brain confounded with the woman I was turning into. A month ago if someone would have told me that after catching a guy naked, I'd be kissing him once he suggested I do the same thing, I would have called the closest mental institution.

As his lips found mine, I didn't feel rushed as I normally did with him. This time, I followed his slow pace, exploring the feel of his lips and his tongue with my own. Although my heart was speeding up to its routine course when we kissed, and my breathing was starting to come out in almost silent pants, I didn't feel the normal fear of what could possibly lead next. I was safe with him. I could even admit that I was confident that he wouldn't push me until I was ready; whether he said so or not. Plus with his sisters and father in the next room, how much could we do?

With his tongue languidly outlining my bottom lip, his grip around my waist grew firmer before he pulled me into him; making me forget all about the dress in my hand. All I could do was enjoy the feel of his warm bare chest against mine. I wished I didn't have the sweatshirt on right now so I could feel his incredible body. I wanted to trace each of his muscles with my fingers; feel the smooth skin that looked so golden and beautiful. Why did I have to be so shy? I longed to touch him.

Wrapping his arms around me, he nipped at the lip he had just so carefully traced. With a gasp, I felt fireworks burst through my abdomen. Biting? Who would have ever thought I would have enjoyed such a thing. Careful to erase the mark of his teeth, he kissed me once again; this time more deeply. It was the kind of kiss that left a girl trying to remember a time when his kiss hadn't been her most favorite thing the world. I felt like a magic bubble had picked me up and began traveling out into space, with me none the wiser. All I could do to keep a firm grasp on reality was to hold onto the short strands of his soft, black hair.

"I don't hear any talking going on in there," Rachel or Rebecca's voice traveled through the door; successfully popping my magic bubble.

Jake abruptly ended the kiss with a soft curse. "Thanks, Rach," he muttered admonishingly. Looking down at my flushed face he asked, "Are you sure you want to go to the beach with _them_?"

"Hey, I heard that!" Rachel chided back.

Leaning my head against the door, I tried to catch my breath by fighting the off the laughter that wanted out. Were people always going to be around when we kissed?

_Not last night they weren't! _No. They weren't I almost lost all reason.

Jacob took a step back and appraised my clothing, a look of approval floating over his features. "You look hot in my sweatshirt. I can't even see the shorts you're wearing."

I flushed. "Well then how do you know I'm wearing any?"

One of his brows shot up. "Oh, baby, trust me… I know."

My throats dried suddenly at the way his sexy, deep voice called me "baby." I ran my tongue over my bottom lip remembering how his teeth had barely swiped it. He was watching my every move. Dear God, he looked like he wanted to lay me down—right here—right now! I took a step towards him, drawn to him like a moth to a flame. I needed to draw some lines between us… and fast! I was beginning to forget why I didn't want a man in my life right now.

"Come on, slow pokes!" One of his sisters called with a loud tap of the door.

"We better get out there or we'll never hear the end of it." Jake said dryly. We both let out a deep sigh, giving each other the once over before I found the strength in my legs to walk over to the bed and grab my purse and cellphone.

It took everything in me not to watch Jake throw a white t-shirt over his head while he opened the door and walked out. His backside was definitely something to marvel at. But, instead, I glanced at my phone, seeing four missed calls and three texts from Bailey.

I opened the first text. It was a picture of Paul sleeping next to my bright-eyed best friend, a very satisfied smile on her face as they lounged in her bed. Thank God it was _her_ bed and not mine.

I kept scrolling down.

_Had an awesome time last night… and then __**three**__ awesome times this morning._

_Where did you sleep?_

_****Bay****_

_Hello? You're not answering your phone!_

_Where are you? I'm starting to worry!_

_****Bay****_

_Rennesee Cullen! You better call your best friend_

_Or she will be FORCED to call every police station & hospital in the state!_

_****Bay****_

_I'M NOT BLUFFING! Where R U!?_

_****Bay****_

Stifling a curse myself, I texted her back.

_Calm down, I'm fine. Don't worry and please DON'T call the cops._

_I had an… interesting night. I'll tell you all about it later. _

_And, I'm at Jake's dad's house__Long story._

_Looks like someone got lucky last night. I'll be wanting all the details!_

_TTYL,_

_~Ness~_

Throwing my cellphone in my back pocket, I stood and grabbed my purse, not sure if I would come back here after going to the beach. I really needed to get the 411 on Bailey and Paul. She was a flirt, yes. But, she didn't just give herself to anyone. I wonder how Paul got her under his spell so quickly. Not that I could blame her. For me, with Jake, it took one second.

On my way out the door, I bent over and picked up Bailey's now wrinkled dress. I'd have to take it to the cleaners before I let her see the messy state it's in. I'd never hear the end of it.

While I made my way into the living room, I said a proper goodbye to Billy and headed to the front door, telling him I wanted to see him again soon. He replied with the same regards, but not before asking me to talk to his daughters about hiring a "babysitter" for when they weren't ableto visit. I just shook my head and agreed, knowing that his family would take all the precautions they could so long as he stayed healthy and safe.

When I walked outside, I was shocked to see the twins crawling into Rachel's Rabbit. I guess Jake had fixed it last night. A man of many talents, I was beginning to find out. Seeing his family reminded me of my own. I felt a stab of guilt float over me whilst I thought about calling them. They were fifteen minutes from me at the most and I hadn't seen them since after Spring semester had ended. Even if I'd love nothing more than to hug them and see their beautiful faces, I had second thoughts about even mentioning to them that I was here. How could I explain such a sudden, unexpected visit? Tell them that I had come up here and spent the night at my date's family house was something I knew wouldn't go over so well. And as much hell as I'd given my mom about settling down too early in life, I didn't want too many questions to surface.

No. I finally decided. I wouldn't tell them that I was here. I would wait and see what happened with Jake before I thought about seeing them with him anywhere near me. With his active sex-life, I wasn't sure I even wanted date him, much less start planning any future visits. The thought had my stomach in knots. Jake was just… Jake. And I needed to figure out where we were going to go before I brought anyone else into it.

"Ready to go?" Jacob asked, waving a hand at his sisters as they backed out of the unpaved driveway.

"Yep," I replied before thanking him for opening my door as I slid into his car. I waited for Jacob to get in before I had made up my mind to call my parents. Not knowing when I have any free time to call them today, I admitted to myself that now was a good a time as any. "Do you mind if I phone my parents real quick?"

He looked surprised by my question. "No. I hadn't even thought about it until now. Did you want me to take you to see them?"

"No!" I blurted out, panic rising in my throat. "I mean, no" I said more gently. "Sorry, it's just that…" I couldn't finish whatever I was going to say. I didn't know how to express my thoughts without possibly hurting him.

He took in a deliberate breath and let out. "Okay," he whispered, sounding slightly wounded. "It's a little early for all of that, I guess. I'll be quiet while you call them," he said, being more understanding than I deserved.

I felt like a complete ass! He was a lot easier to handle when I thought he only wanted sex from me. I could easily set up boundaries around a kind of guy like that. However, over the past few days, I found Jake surprisingly deep and sincere. I was even starting to believe that there was something special between us; an once-in-a-lifetime kind of passion. And the more I got to know him, the more I found myself attracted and enamored with him. The boundaries I had guarded so well for so long were starting to give. It was a place I had avoided with any male for a very, _very_ long time.

Without saying anything else he started his car and began backing out. I tapped my nails nervously on the face of my phone, debating on whether I should even call my parents now. Knowing that I would feel guilty either way, I ended up finding my dad's name on my contacts list and pressed "call."

"Nessie," my dad's voice was cheerful when he answered. The guilt in my heart grew another notch.

"Hey, dad," I greeted, looking over at Jacob. "How are you?"

"I'm doing well. Your mother and I are just sitting here at Grandpa Charlie's watching a game." Hearing Grandpa's name and the noise of the television around him caused the guilt to grow even more. I missed them so much. I was such an awful daughter and granddaughter. "How are you doing today? Do you have to go into work?"

"I'm good," I replied, relieved that I could be honest about one thing during my conversation with him. "And yes, I have my usual weekend shift later tonight."

"Oh?" He asked, pausing for a moment. "Are you out with Bailey? You sound like you're in a car."

_Shit! _"Uh, yeah… I'm just out with… a friend," I replied, remorse coursing through my veins as I looked at Jacob. For appearance sake, he looked as if he wasn't trying to listen; but when his jaw clenched- I knew I struck a nerve.

"You're not out with Bailey?" He asked, sounding sincerely shocked. "Are you two okay?"

"Yeah were fine. She just had a date is all." At least that wasn't a complete lie.

"Well it's nice to hear that you're making friends, honey. Oh, your mother is reaching for the phone. You have good weekend and I will talk to you soon."

"Okay, dad. I love you."

"Love you, too."

I waited for my mom to take the phone while I fixed my unseeing gaze on the road ahead of us; a road that could easily lead back to my home. Yep. Worst Daughter Ever award goes to me!

"Hi sweetheart," my mom's lovely voice sounded in my ear.

"Hey mom. I hear you are at Grandpa's today."

"Yes. Charlie invited us over to watch the game and later I'm going to fix dinner. I was just thinking about you when you called. I hope everything is okay. I've had you on my mind all morning." A mother's instinct is rarely wrong.

"Everything is okay. I just wanted to call."

"Are you sure? Your voice sounds different." Just what I needed—an intuitive mother with great instincts being too aware.

"I'm su-sure," I lied. "I just got a lot going on with school," I replied, splitting hairs again with my honesty. "Listen, I got to go but it's good to hear your voice."

"Okay, sweetheart. It's good to hear your voice, too. We miss you so much. Let's plan a visit soon, alright?"

_A visit? A visit that could be going on right now?_ I'm so going to hell for this.

"Sounds good, mom. I will talk to you later. Love you." I didn't wait for her to respond before I hung up, my guilty conscious not needing any more fuel for the raging fire. Looking over at Jake, I sensed him wanting to say something. When his eyes meet mine, I know he did. "What?"

"So you're just hanging out with a _friend_?" he asked, stressing the word "friend" in a way that made me feel worse. Guilt and I were about to become best friends.

"I'm sorry. Dating is a sensitive topic with me and my mom," I responded, looking down at my hands shamefully. What I didn't say was that I was the one that didn't want to date and she wanted the opposite. "I didn't know what else to say."

He didn't look relieved by my explanation. "I guess I can understand that."

The rest of the ride to the beach was a quiet one. All I could feel was shame; which only reminded me of all the reasons I didn't want to date anyone. It just distracts you from life— from what really matters. I didn't wait for him to open my door this time. I didn't deserve it. Actually, I was beginning to feel sick about not telling my parents how close I was. But, now I had made my bed and I was going to have to _lie _in it. Pun intended.

As we walked down to the graveled sand, I was very aware of the fact that Jake didn't reach for my hand. I pretended not to notice as I looked out over the semi-crowded beach. Even if we didn't know each other all that well, I could feel a gap growing between us. A gap that I had firmly wedged in there. Seeing his sisters roll out towels for us to lay on made me feel even worse. I barely knew all of them and they were being so nice to me. Meanwhile, in the back of my mind, I knew I was just waiting for Jake to slip up so I could run for the hills and back to the comfortable environment where guys didn't exist for me.

Instead of delving into anymore awful thoughts, I closed my eyes and pointed my face up to the rare sun; allowing my pores to soak in the much needed Vitamin D. I needed this. I needed a moment to forget about school, parents, work, and boys.

"I brought some sunblock for you," Rebecca said, reaching into her stripped beach bag to retrieve the lotion. After she tossed it to me, I put it down on the towel and shrugged out of Jacob's sweatshirt. Flicking open the button on the shorts, I hooked my fingers along the edges, preparing to push them down when I caught Jacob staring at me. His eyes were beginning to change while he just stood there, bluntly looking. Unlike me, he wasn't flushing at the sight of being caught. He didn't care if I knew he was watching. He didn't hide his appreciation, either. In fact, the moment I shimmied the shorts down my legs, he brought his teeth down over his bottom lip, biting it as though he were about to dive headfirst into a lovely meal. Was I the lovely meal?

Trying to appear nonchalant, I picked up the bottle of sunblock and squirted some in my hand. If he didn't mind looking, I guess I didn't mind giving him something to look at. Who in the hell was I?

I began moving the white liquid over my arms, the smell of coconut and tropical fruit claiming my senses. Moving up to my neck, I slowed down, spreading the lotion lower until I reached my breasts. That was when I lost all my nerve. Jacob had started moving closer, a darkening look taking over his features. He looked dangerous. It was freaking hot as hell!

"You want me to get your back?" He asked, his voice husky and full of something I couldn't quite put a name to.

He wanted to touch me…

"You don't mind?" I asked, mussing up the act of being coy.

He didn't answer; I'm not sure he could. All he did was just shake his head and reach for the bottle, his eyes burning wild and murky.

"Thanks," I whispered, turning around. Even though there had been a fair amount of touching during our make-out sessions, he'd never touched my skin before; nor any area on or below my torso. How would it feel to have a man touch me like this? My heart fluttered at the thought.

The instant his hand touched my back, every muscle in my body involuntarily convulsed. It was as if a heat explosion had gone off in my body. It felt amazing and something that I had never encountered before happened— I envisioned myself begging for more of his touch when we were alone.

"Cold?" He asked, spreading the cream around.

"Yeah," I giggled, lying completely. Honestly, I didn't feel anything but warmth. Warmth and his hands moving over my bare skin. Taking a step closer to me, I felt his breath splay across my neck; sending goose-bumps scattering across my body. Not only was he rubbing in the protective lotion, but he was massaging as well. All I wanted to do was lie down on the towel and have him rub me all day long. Even his fingers were skilled. Everything about him was just… amazing.

When his hands moved lower, he stopped right above the bikini bottoms; paying special attention to the dimples in my back. I didn't know how much more I could take before I let out a satisfying moan. Pouring a bit more in his hand, he rubbed back up before moving to my sides. While I was trying hard not to squirm under his hands, he had done something that had made me become completely frozen. I wasn't sure if he had meant to or not, but when he got to the bottom of the bikini top, his fingertips slid underneath thin band of cloth. I gasped as I felt the pads of his finger graze the side of my breast.

He took another step closer; his warmth surrounding me until we were touching. "Sorry," he breathed against my ear. Although he said the words, I knew he didn't mean them. Truth was… I didn't want him to.

"No you're not," I let out a shaky breath, leaning my head against his chest, feeling his quickened heart beating.

His lips grazed the outline of my ear, sending sporadic bursts all over my body. I shivered against him.

"No… I'm not."

"I don't think she'll ever have to put sunblock on her back again," Rachel said sarcastically, laughing when her twin also had found it funny.

The sound of his sisters laughing had me jerking away from Jacob. I looked down at his sisters, trying to appear completely unaffected by what just happened. They both were now lying down on their towels, their cover-up's off and their sunglasses on. They look like supermodels getting ready for a Sports Illustrated photo-shoot. They had the most beautiful skin tone in the world. And, here I was… the reason they needed to wear sunglasses.

"Seriously guys, we're going to have to start charging R rated prices if you keep that up," Rebecca joined in.

Everything above my neck grew warm as I heard Jacob's teeth grind together. When I turned to face him, he was standing on my towel, holding out the sunblock to me; his eyes and smile appearing even more dangerously tempting than before. In one smooth move, he pulled his white tee-shirt over his head and tossed it haphazardly on the ground.

Let me just make it clear. It was one thing for him to already be topless when I saw him, but watching him become topless was quite another. I got an obscene amount of enjoyment watching his bronzed skin becoming bare in front of me; his abdominal muscles moving and shifting while he undressed. Dear. God. I had to keep telling myself to breathe. For no reason in particular the night I saw him at the concert floated into my mind. I remembered the brief moment when I had wondered if I was shallow for being captivated with his looks. I was going to have to reconsider the topic. Sure, we still had the connection; but, connection or not, the man was walking sin!

"D—do you want me to… uhm, put sunblock on your back?" I seriously wanted a reason to touch his smooth, tan flesh.

"Jake doesn't wear sun—" Rachel began, only to be quieted instantly by a sharp look from her brother. He looked seriously disappointed that I wouldn't be able to put anything on him. Maybe some other time, then… Damn. I wonder if it would feel as amazing to him as it did to me.

Knowing that we had an audience of nosy sisters, I planted my butt on the towel. Stretching out, I hooked some headphones in my phone before turning on Pandora and hitting the "shuffle" button so it would scroll through my selected channels of 70, 80's, and 90's music.

Before I laid down, I took one last longing look at Jake's retreating back. He was on his way to the water, a group of Native American children in his sights. With one call to them, they each turned at the sound of his voice and went ballistic! All at once that they ran up to him, tackling him to the ground, screaming his name.

I heard my laughter over the music playing in my ears as I just sat there, enamored with Mr. Gorgeous. Not only had he been more sensitive and deeper than I expected, but he sincerely cared for his family. He was an amazing kisser and made my skin melt when he touched me. He was a beautiful, talented singer, a great musician and mechanic, and to top everything off, he loved kids as much they seemed to love him. Wow… What in the hell was he doing with me?

* * *

**I would love to hear your thoughts! Feel free to ask questions- I will respond as soon as I can.**

**For those of you who would like to read the spoiler description and snippet of chapter one for _"Forever Changed" _here it is: **

**Renesmee Cullen doesn't think of the past very often; the pain too much to consider. She feels lost without her parents and struggles with the guilt of having her wolf/imprinter raise her after they were killed by the Volturi, along with some other members of her family. As she grows older, however, things begin to change between her and Jacob. She is forced to reexamine their relationship by the time she is in college, the power of their bond growing to too much for her to ignore. Can she fight her new found, sizzling attraction to him? The man she lives with, the man that makes her want to cross all the boundaries they've carefully placed around one another?**

"Renesmee," Jacob's sweet, familiar voice is near my ear. I feel his fresh, minty breath float over my cheek and he shakes my side. I groan, sleep too precious to comply. "You're going to be late for class," he remarks, his tone much more demanding this time.

I lift my head and look at the clock. It was almost seven thirty in the morning. What in the world was I thinking when I signed up for an early morning class?

_Screw it_. "I can miss one class," I sigh before throwing the blankets over my head; successfully blocking out the sunlight. _Hmmmm… just what I like, darkness. _I settle more comfortably in the bed.

"Not when I'm paying out the ass for your tuition."

I huff loudly, the sound muffled by my comforter. He knows how to guilt trip with the best of them. "Fine!" I shoot up out of bed and pass him by without a second glance. My actions redefine the fact that I'm definitely not a morning person.

It wasn't until I slammed the bathroom door a little too harshly that I felt the slight twinge of guilt. This wasn't the life Jacob envisioned for himself, I'm sure. When my parents were killed by the Volturi all those years ago in the clearing, I'm sure he didn't know what his life was going to be like as he ran like hell was chasing at his heels. Now, he must regret a lot of things… or wished things turned out differently at least. What's more, the lines were beginning to blur between us, my attraction for him growing. I was starting to become of aware of things that didn't matter before. Like, the way his smile made my heart skip a beat. Or the way his scent was changing to me; becoming charged with different pheromone that I was starting to produce as well. God... what was happening?

The thought of that fateful day surfaces unbidden in my mind. I hate thinking of that day. I go through great lengths to avoid any remembrance of that awful day. As I stare blankly at the mirror, not seeing my reflection anymore, I can only see the last fright of terror that tore at my parent's expressions. I wish that wasn't my last memory of them. I wish I could have a different lasting memory; like, the way my mom looked when she thought only my dad was watching her; how her shy, sweet face would brighten when she smiled. Or the way my dad's face would light up the room when he saw me or my mom. But, the more time passes, the more I forget what they look like…what they smell like; the comforting coldness of their stone bodies.

For days, I prayed they were still alive. I waited two days for Jake's phone to ring with their voices greeting us at the other end; but that call never came. Instead, a call from a brokenhearted Esme still rings in my ears. That phone call delivered the news that forever changed my life. Not only had I lost my parents, but Carlisle, Jasper, Seth and Leah. Thankfully their deaths were not in vain. I would never have to worry about the Volturi again because they were _all _dead.

I didn't know that the life that I had been handed to me was worth the pain of losing my parents. No—actually, I would much have desired a life full of worries just to have them by my side. At least that would have given Jacob a better life.


	7. Chapter 7: Moving Forward

Chapter 7

Moving Forward

Bailey and I pulled into Al's parking lot with five minutes to spare before our shift started. As she looked into the rearview mirror, pulling her blonde hair into bun, I took the time to stuff my black polo uniform shirt into my jeans. Pinning on my name tag, I waited until she was done with the mirror before I also pulled my hair up; one of the many requirements to work in a restaurant.

"So nothing happened?" Bailey asked again. "You slept in his bed… alone?"

"I told you nothing happened," I sighed at having to repeat myself for the fifth time. "I know it's hard to believe, but not every girl goes all the way on a first date."

"You said it wasn't a date, though."

"It wasn't."

"Well are you going to go out with him again?"

"Yes," I replied, unable to help my smile. Just thinking about seeing him again sent the butterflies in my tummy on a rollercoaster ride. "What about you," I asked, turning her mirror back into its usual place.

"What about me?"

"Paul… Are you two going to see each other again?"

"Maybe," she shrugged. "I don't know. As soon as he woke up, he left like the devil had been chasing him."

I closed my eyes, fearing the worst for my friend. I got the awful feel that he just used her for sex; especially when I remembered Quil's "another one bites the dust" comment. Not that she looked like she was brokenhearted about it; but, still, it was kind of a shitty thing to do.

We both got out of the car and walked into the back entrance of Al's Pizza & Beer. The parking lot was already packed; it was going to be another busy Saturday night. Although, I knew my feet would be killing me at the end of the night, at least I'd make it up in tips.

"Clock in," Al ordered as soon as we entered, the scent of pizza overwhelming any other smell. "I need youz guys out there, 'eh," he wiped at the sweat on his plump, red forehead. "Gabby called in sick, so divide her tables up between youz two."

"Great," Bailey muttered under her breath.

"Nice to see you to, Al," I greeted mockingly, giving him a smile to let him know I was teasing. He was my grandpa away from home. I had to give him a hard time any chance I could. He meant the world to me. Never asked questions or judged anyone. Italian to the bone, white headed, a little overweight, Al was famous for two things, his pizza and his facial hair. His white handle-bar mustache was more famous than he was as it was the logo for the restaurant. It donned every pizza take-out box, every plastic cup, and every uniform shirt; it even had a place outside— lit up with neon lights on the old, faded brick of the diner.

"Ah, Nessie, I'm sorry," he sighed, his very New Yorker accent coming out in his words. Walking up to me, he draped an arm over my shoulder in a one-arm hug. "How you doin'?"

"Eh," I curled my lip up. "Can't complain."

"Well, I can, now gets to it already!" He said, slapping a menu on top of my head playfully.

"That's abuse," I feigned shock.

" 'Ay, so sue me!" he laughed. "Now get out there."

Laughing, Bailey and I both clocked in and grabbed an apron. Grabbing a few pens and my order tablet, I stuffed them into my apron before throwing in a handful of straws. The loud chatter over the juke box music was already giving me a headache. We were always busy on the weekends. Nearly everyone on campus ate here at least once a week; the majority of them coming in on weekends.

With one shove of the saloon doors that led to the front part of the restaurant, I cursed Gabby. Every table was full. There were people even standing up by the entrance; waiting their turn to eat Al's famous pizza.

"That bitch," Bay spat out, also thinking of Gabby.

"My thoughts exactly."

Two hours later, my feet were killing me. I was so busy bouncing around from table to table, I hadn't even had a chance to take my break. Seeing the hostess lead a group of young men to my section, I knew I wasn't going to be able to take one for a while. Grabbing a deluxe pizza out of the window, I delivered it to a group of annoying sorority girls before making my way to my new table.

"Hey guys, Welcome to Al's. My name is Ness and I'll be serving you tonight," I said methodically, grabbing my tablet out to take their drink orders. "What can I get you to drink?"

"Renesmee?" I heard one in their group ask. My eyes floated around the table, not knowing who had said my name. They had to have known me. My name wasn't one you heard every day; but as I looked around, none of them looked familiar. Finally, one of the men waved a hand at me. I felt my brow pull together as I looked over his face, seeing something familiar… and then it hit me… Fuck!

"Todd?" I asked, recognizing my ex-boyfriend. The only guy who broke my heart was sitting here in the flesh. He still had the same brown colored hair and cerulean blue eyes that had drawn me to him in the first place. Although he still looked like himself, his boyish features that I remembered were gone; replaced with handsome masculine features. He was still good looking …and I hated it.

"How've you been?" He asked, leaning his elbows on the table as if he was really interested. The jerk! How dare he talk to me!

I looked around at the busy restaurant in search of my best friend. Of course she was nowhere to be found. I needed to find her A.S.A.P.! She was going to have to take this table. I just couldn't look at him for the rest of the night without freaking out.

"Err… fine" My reply was short. I turned my glance at the rest of the table; "I'll be right back." I all but ran through the doors that led to the back, my heart racing.

"What's wrong?" Bailey asked, her eyes widening at my appearance.

"You will never freaking believe who is here," I panted, winded from the sight of Todd _Mitchell_. The only reason I promised to never date again.

"Who?" I just looked at her, relying on our silent communication to explain everything. "No," she said disbelievingly. "Todd? Really?" She asked, ducking to look between the slats of the saloon doors to try to see him.

I just nodded my head, my lungs warming from the furious beat of my heart. "Bay, you have to take my table. I can't look at him."

"Why? He's just a piss ant!" She exclaimed, placing her hands on her hips. "This will give you the chance to get even. Hock a big one on his pizza."

My faced winced at the visual. "I'm serious; I don't want to ever see him again! Please just do this for me. I beg you! Anything… I'll do anything!"

"I'm sorry, honey, but I can't even keep up with my own tables right now," she replied, grabbing two pizzas from the window to take to her tables. As soon as she left, my heart sank into my stomach. I can't do this… I can't do this… I'm going to be sick.

"Hey, what youz waitin' for?" Al barked through the window, a towel stained with pizza sauce slung over his right shoulder. "Take that pitcher to the bar for a refill, it ain't gonna do it itself."

Mustering up the courage, I grabbed a pitcher and headed to the bar, delaying the inevitable for as long as possible. Putting the pitcher on the bar, I waited for Pauly, Al's cousin and bartender, to fill it with a fresh draft.

"You okay, Ness?" Pauly asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I have," I muttered, grabbing the full pitcher off the bar and walking away. Putting the beer on one of my tables, I handed them more napkins and wished they had asked for something else before I had to make my way to _him!_

Checking over my sections, I realized I was going to have to suck this one up—BIG TIME!

"Sorry about that," I apologized for my delay, not looking anywhere near the blue eyes I had loved at one time. "What can I get for everyone?"

"We'll take a round of cokes and two large peperoni's," one of them said. I quickly jotted the order on a new ticket and left as quickly as possible. Clipping the order on the turnstile, I pushed it away as though it were on fire.

"Put a rush on that one, Al," I hollered, praying he'd help me get these guys out as fast as possible. When I walked back out to the front, I halted mid-step, nearly crashing into Bailey and her hands full of fresh pizza and beer. Todd was standing right behind her, looking at me.

"Hey," Bailey screeched, looking at me like I had officially lost it. My throat dried instantly as I just stared at Todd, my veins boiling with ire. Bailey turned to see what I was looking at. With one look over her shoulder, everything about her demeanor changed. She looked as pissed as I was.

"Bailey?" Todd looked genuinely shocked, a blast-from-the-past emotion coursing over him.

"Douche?" Bailey snapped out, pushing past him to deliver her pizza.

Todd didn't look surprised by Bay's greeting. She pretty much told him how much she hated him— repeatedly—in high school for breaking my heart and sleeping with the school slut. I wonder where _she _was these days. The Bunny Ranch in Vegas? Whore… Well, at least she wasn't here. That was all I needed!

Todd walked up to me, standing a few inches taller than I remembered. Rubbing his hands together, he waited for me to say something.

"Is there something you need," I asked. Rat poison? Cyanide?

"I just came to say hi."

"Hi," I replied, a fake as hell smile taking over my face.

"I guess I deserve that…"

"You think?" I sneered.

"I just—"

"Look Todd, as you can see I'm really busy tonight; so you'll have to excuse me if I don't have time to talk," I spat out, pushing past him as well to wait on my other tables. I didn't have time for this crap!

An hour later, Todd was _still _at my table with his buddies. Instead of sitting on the inside of the booth, he had moved to the outside, making me look at him much more than I really wanted to. Every time I gazed over there, he was watching me. It made my skin crawl every time he "accidently" touched me.

Unable to deal with it right now, I was hiding in the back— organizing the plates and silverware… anything to keep him from looking at or touching me.

"Someone call for backup?" A familiar voice came from behind me. I turned to find my saving grace tying an apron around her waist.

"Leisha" I breathed, grabbing her in a hug. "I've never been so glad to see you in my life."

"Is it that bad?" She asked, misunderstanding why I was grateful to see her.

"Oh, it's that bad," Bailey let out, pushing the doors open with her backside, her hands full of food.

"What is it?"

"I need you to cover one of my tables."

"That's why Al called me in."

"I know but there's a table specifically that I need you to cover."

She gave me knowing look. "What's his name?"

"Todd Mitchell," I said the name as if it were a profane.

"Todd Mitchell," she repeated, tucking items into her apron. "Sounds like a preppy asshole."

My brow rose at her unusual clairvoyance. "Pretty much… a preppy asshole that cheated on me at my junior prom with the biggest whore in the state of Washington!"

"Which table?"

"Seven."

"I'm on it," she nodded, moving through the doors with purpose. I would be in her debt forever.

After Leisha took over a quarter of the tables, we were able to get orders out more quickly. By ten, I was beginning to wonder when Todd would leave. I needed some fresh air if I was going to have to continue sharing the same oxygen he was.

"I'm going to take my break," I told Leisha and Bailey in the back. They both nodded at me, too caught up with this exhausting night to say anything else.

Lodging open the back door with a tall cigarette butt disposal can, I sat down on a stack of old, blue milk crates, enjoying the cool air of my heated face. This night had been crazy; a whirlwind of crying babies, howling frat boys, high strung sorority girls, and an ex from hell. Not to mention—I smelled like beer and pepperoni.

"Some night," Al said, stepping outside, a cigarette already between his lips.

"It's good for business," I replied, tapping my front jean pocket that was bulging with about one hundred and seventy five dollars' worth of tips.

Flicking open his zippo, he lit the white stick and took a deep inhale. "So, what's with the bozo in there?"

"Which one," I asked, rolling my eyes. I knew he was referring to Todd, but seeing as I had waited on many "bozo's" tonight, I felt he needed to be more specific.

"The one you made me put a rush on," he exhaled a cloud full of smoke before flicking ashes on the ground. "Table seven."

I sighed and looked down at the gray ashes still burning with ember. "Just an ex."

"Oh yeah?" Al looked genuinely surprised. "I thought you didn't date."

"I don't…because of him."

He nodded, his brow arching as he took all of the information in. "His loss."

I looked up at him, his wisdom showing in the whiteness of his hair. "Thanks, Al… I just wish he'd leave already."

"All youz need to say is one word and I'll throw his ass out so fast he'll be wondering where the year went."

I giggled at his fatherly threat. "What word do I need to say?"

"Pick one."

"How about 'fifty'," Leisha said, stepping outside with us. "Your tip," she explained, handing me bill that had Ulysses S. Grant on the front of it. "From Todd," she added while handing me a folded up napkin.

"He gave me a fifty!" I stated more than asked. "What for?"

"You must have given him some good service," she smiled, her angelic face beaming as she added, "All I got was five bucks and instructions to hand that to you..." I stared at her for a moment, disbelief and confusion blurring together in my brain. "Preppy Asshole," she winked, her brown eyes twinkling with the outdoor light on the building.

"What's on the napkin?" I asked, holding it away from me as though it were toxic; guessing that she may have taken a peek.

"I don't know," she replied, undoing her shoulder length brown hair before pulling it back up into a pony-tail. "I was hoping you would open it and ease my curiosity."

Looking over at Al and Leisha, I debated whether I should throw it away or, like Bay had recommended earlier, "hock a big one" in it.

I didn't want to know what it said. I didn't care. If he wanted to say something to me then he should have said when he had the chance.

"Here," I handed it back to her with the fifty dollar bill. "Ease all you like, I don't want to know what's it says and I don't want anything else from him either. You keep the tip."

Unable to keep her curiosity at bay, Leisha ignored the money in my hand and grabbed for the napkin, eagerly unfolding it before holding it up to the back door light to see.

After getting a good look at it, her brow scrunched and she looked at me with confusion. "That's disappointing," she said, handing the napkin to Al. "All that effort for two words?"

Al put his cigarette in the side of his mouth, using both of his lips to hold it in place. Squinting his eyes, he looked down at it and then at me… and then back down at the napkin. I hated that their interest was making _me _curious.

"Alright ladies, breaks over, let's get back to work," he said pushing off the brick wall he had been leaning against.

Leisha didn't wait for anymore instruction before she turned and went back inside, her slender frame gliding right back into a state of professionalism. She had been that way since the first day I met her. She was playful and humorous behind the scenes, but when she worked, she worked. She always gave a hundred and ten percent. She was a year younger than me, but wise beyond her years and funny as hell.

As I stood up on my achy feet, Al stopped me, tucking the napkin into the pocket of my polo. "Read it when you get home. Then, throw it away if youz want to." Without waiting for me to respond, he strolled back inside, also seamlessly gliding into the role of owner/manager.

Not thinking anything else about it, I tucked the fifty in with my other tips and left the napkin where it was. I deal with the rest later.

"**God**, my feet are killing me," Bailey complained, letting her hair fall out of its bun before we even made it to her car.

I couldn't agree more as I sunk down into the passenger seat, kicking off my shoes and laying the seat back. I was exhausted! It was a little past 12:30 a.m. and the lights on the restaurant had finally turned off.

Before Bailey started her car, she took her cell out of her back pocket and examined it. I watched her scroll through a few texts, my eyes growing heavier with each tick of her phone's responding messages. With my mind drifting sleepily, I thought of my folks. Every time I had a hard day a work, I always remembered my parents. Their often reminders of why I didn't need to work my way through school sounded very appealing at the moment.

By the time we made it back to the dorms, we were both dragging. I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed, wearing the sweatshirt that Jake gave me and a pair of girly boxer shorts. Rolling over, I got comfortable and looked over at Bailey who decided just to pass out. She was still wearing her work clothes, her body lying half on the bed, her feet dangled off the side.

I laughed silently at her and reached over to turn off my tiny bedside lamp when I saw something that made me stop. My work shirt was thrown over my desk chair, the folded napkin Todd had given Leisha peeking curiously out of it.

"Hmm…" I mumbled. Decisions, decisions. Taking a glance at Bay, I knew I'd never be caught reading it; though no matter what it said, it would never make a difference. Tracing the imprinted mustache on it, I unfolded it slowly, the top of two words barely peeping out at me. One more undone fold and I felt my stomach drop to the floor.

"I'm sorry," I whispered the words aloud.

The black, silky ink defined the words were more powerfully to me than if he would have said it. Below the words was a phone number. Unlike the feeling of disappointment that Leisha felt when reading the two little words, I was relieved. I felt slightly vindicated and slightly justified. It was the first time he ever apologized to me for what he had done all those years ago. In spite of being a written apology and impersonal, it was I needed. It made me realize that he had seen me and regretting what he had done. The vision of me made him wish he hadn't hurt me. I like to think that he may have even felt guilty for all these years and vowed that if he ever saw me again, he would mend what he had done. Foolish thinking, I know.

Our relationship had always been a complicated one emotionally; though, physically it had been easy. We had dated for over a year and a half before the night that literally changed my whole outlook on men. He had been a profound figure in my adolescence. We were best friends through elementary school and into middle. Things changed as we grew older, including our hormones, and we became something else. That is why it hurt so bad the night he cheated on me. It taught me never to trust a man, no matter how well you thought you knew him.

Tucking the napkin into my desk drawer, I slid it shut before turning off the lamp. My exhaustion finally took over just as the weight of Todd's baggage I'd been carrying around for so long fell away. Drifting off to sleep, I silently forgave him.

**The **next week had been a whirlwind of classes, essays, and work. Normally I didn't work during the week, but I had picked up a few shifts for Leisha to repay the huge debt I owed her for handling Todd the other night. I don't know how I was able to balance life including Jake, but I had. We had spent almost every evening together, fluttering around the different coffee shops in Seattle, getting to know each other. Sometimes we would find somewhere secluded and make out. Other times we would just drive in his incredible car for hours and talk. I was finally beginning to feel a sense of normalcy develop between us; a routine of sorts. At the same time, however, I could feel my subconscious was waiting for him to slip up and make a mistake just so I could run. Even though I had finally let myself go of what Todd had done, I couldn't move past how it affected my life. I still had things that I wanted to do, and a relationship with a member of the WolfPack wasn't one of them.

The fact that I couldn't stay away from him was what was causing me to backslide the most. My ears ached to hear his deep, sexy voice, my hands itched to touch his arms and hair—the only parts of his body I've allowed myself to touch during out mild make out sessions; which we were always interrupted during. Things could never progress intimately between us and I yet to admit that I was a virgin. But, unfortunately, where Jake was concerned… I couldn't stay away. He had such a powerful effect on my senses that I was always painfully aware of his tingly presence when he was near.

Although we had spent the week together, I was too busy with everything to make anything else but split second plans—a small text at night to ask him what coffee shop we were trying out next. It had kind of become our _thing_. Regrettably, there had yet to be a "real" date between us planned. Since we both worked on the weekends, Jake had finally asked me last night if we could a have a redo of our first date on Monday; which was two days away.

I can still remember the instant he grabbed my hand and asked me over two iced lattes. It was a humiliating moment that had my eyes closing with force at the memory. Just as the words came out of his mouth, I was taking a sip of my cold coffee. His question had taken me so off guard that the liquid had went down the wrong pipe. I'm quite certain the coffee colored mist that exploded from my lips hit Jacob when my throat protested chokingly.

"Miss," I heard a gentleman seated in my section call out. I walked over to his table after looking at the large clock on the wall. It read a time that had my brain begging for time travel. I was so exhausted and looking forward to going home that I knew the next thirty minutes were going to be brutal.

"Yes, can I get you something?" I asked, smiling at the sandy haired man and his family.

"We're ready for the check," he replied, looking at the left over pizza on their table.

I set his check down, having already printed it out. "Would you like a box as well?"

"Yes, thank you."

He handed me back the ticket booklet with his credit card peering out from the top. "I'll just be right back."

Making my way over to the register, I slid his card and waited for the transaction to go through before grabbing a take-out box for their left over pizza.

"He's my Abnormal Psych professor," Bailey remarked, nudging my elbow with hers.

"Really?" I asked a bit shocked. He looked young… really young.

"Yeah. Word around campus is he's cheating on his wife with about half a dozen students," Bailey made a face of disgust. "Letting them work of their bad grades, if you know what I mean."

I stopped what I was doing, my eyes locking on his sweet looking wife and daughter. Bless their hearts. They have no idea what kind of man is really involved in their lives. It will crush both of them when they find out.

I shook my head sadly, tearing his new receipt out of the printer. "Men," I grumbled, also disgusted by the information.

"Right?" Bailey scoffed. "I think it's repulsive, using his position like that. Does he have any clue what kind of damage he's doing?" She asked rhetorically.

"He's obviously not thinking with the right head."

Her agreeing laugh stayed with me until I made my way back to the table, giving him back his card and new receipt, putting a pen on top of it. "Have a good night," I said _only_ to his wife and daughter. "Please come back and see us."

**I **was right about the rest of the night: it drug by excruciatingly slow. By the time Bailey and I walked to her car, I was already planning my collapse onto my bed. I was exhausted from tonight; from the week in general. I was stretching myself thin. I would have to figure something out if I was going to keep seeing a certain dark and handsome singer.

As soon as I got into the car, I kicked my shoes off, my feet protesting immediately. It was the one bad part of working in a restaurant—you were always on your feet. Continuing with my usual routine, I laid the seat back, preparing for a quick nap during the ride home. I looked over a Bailey before shutting my eyes. She had taken out her cell phone and was scrolling through her missed texts. Good… it would give me a few more minutes of shut eye.

"Oh my, God!" She squealed, slapping my leg.

"What?" I asked, my heart panicking slightly as she woke me from my five second nap.

"Paul wants me to come over."

"That's nice," I yawned, closing my eyes again.

"He's sent me his address. Do you mind if we drive over there for a bit? It's just five minutes away."

"Can't you take me home first?" I asked, peeking at her through one of my eyes.

"No, I want you to come with me."

"Why?"

"So I have a reason to leave," she explained dramatically. "So I don't do something stupid again." I sat up a little, looking at her. She clasped her hands together and pouted slightly. "Please… I went with you to meet Mr. Sexy bod, now you come with me to meet Paul."

"But I didn't ask you to come with me after working a busy shift."

"Tomato, potato," she replied, starting her car. I rolled my eyes at the catchphrase she'd been using since we were in high school. It started out with the British versus the American way of say tomato and potato but somehow ended up with only one weird version.

"Fine, but I would just like to make it clear that I didn't ask you go meet Jake with me after workingyour ass off; so, now you are in my debt."

She didn't respond, only turned on the radio and began singing along. With fatigue nipping at my eyes, I laid the seat all the way back and nestled into a comfortable position. I needed plenty of rest if I was going to have to do this again tomorrow night... or tonight, rather; since it was past midnight.

I didn't get her relationship with Paul at all. It was pretty obvious he was more… _casual_ about it than she was. She wasn't the kind of person that slept with just anyone. She wasn't a foolish girl, either. She was very intelligent; especially when it came to relationships. Whatever it was that was between them, I regarded it as the same as what I felt for Jake. It was passionate, something she couldn't avoid even if she had wanted to. I was worried that he was going to hurt her more than anything. During this past week they had also been spending time together at our dorm; which was one of the reasons I was texting Jake in the evenings.

"We're almost there," Bailey woke me again, nudging my knee. Yawning once more, I sat my seat up and blinked at all the bright street lights; the area looking vaguely familiar. Scratch that… _very_ familiar.

When Bailey pulled into Jake's driveway, my jaw was hanging completely open. The nervous butterflies in my stomach fluttered to life, their wings flapping with the rushing beat of my heart. Seeing his car parked in the driveway made them start to dance, knocking and banging against every one of my organs. Jeez, even after almost two weeks, the thought of seeing him still gave me… well, butterflies.

"Why do you look shocked?" Bailey asked, grabbing at a handful of lip products she kept in her center console.

Watching her put a pale pink on her lips, I told her why. "This is Jake's place."

She stopped, the tube of lip gloss still pulling at her bottom lip. "What do you mean this is Jake's place?"

"I mean, Jake brought me here the night of our first date. This is his condo." What else could I have meant?

"You mean to tell me that Paul is too chicken shit to give me his own address; so he gave me his bandmate's instead?"

"They could live together," I offered her the most reasonable explanation; though Jake had never mentioned it. I didn't think about really looking for anything that was Paul's while I was here before, but, it was a possibility. If it wasn't that case, however, I had a feeling that wherever Paul and Bailey were headed was going to end fast!

"I hadn't thought of that," she said, smacking her lips together. "But I'm gonna find out real quick or ol' boy's getting the boot." She opened her door and got out, only ducking down to look at me as I hesitated. Why was I still nervous to see Jacob? I had just spent the week with him for crying out loud; you'd think I would be used to being near him by now.

Sighing heavily, I threw open the door and got out, my feet severely complaining when I heaved my shoes back on. Pulling my hair out of its bun, I looked at my darkened reflection in the window before primping a little. Since I didn't have anything with me to make myself look better, I ruffled my finger through my hair before pinching my cheeks; trying to bring life back into my appearance.

"That's his car?" Bailey asked, throwing an appreciative glance at Jake's GTO.

"Yep."

"Jeez, is everything about him sexy?"

I grunted approvingly. "Pretty much." _Pretty much? Talk about the understatement of the century!_

Together we walked up to the same vestibule I was standing in just a week ago. It felt like months had passed between us already. Too much time, but not enough. God this was getting confusing.

I lagged behind while Bailey rang the doorbell, awkwardly looking around Jake's small front yard. I didn't know what he would say when he saw me; since I'm pretty sure he had no idea I was coming over uninvited.

"Hot stuff," Paul catcalled, throwing open the door quickly, making me jump. With music playing in the background, I could hear several voices inside the apartment while my gaze wondered down to the table chairs next to the door. The ashtray sitting on the table that I had wondered about when I first saw it convinced me that Paul did actually live here. He had to. Jake and I had spent quite a bit of time together and I had yet to see him pick up a cigarette.

Seeing me over Bailey, Paul's eyes widened a bit. He threw a quick, panicked look into what I knew was the kitchen. "Hey, _Ness_," Paul stressed my name loudly, looking once more into the kitchen. "Uh… come on in."

With my spidey senses on full alert, Bailey turned and gave me a look that told me she was also on aware of something off. It felt like Paul was warning someone of my being here. And the only person he would need to warn is Jake. And the only reason he had to warn him made me brush past the two standing in front me.

The moment my gaze settled on the kitchen was the moment I realized Jake had no idea I was going to show up. I didn't say anything as I watched a big busted brunette push her haltered covered breast against his side. With his back facing me, he tossed back his beer before looking over at the brown headed bimbo, laughing sweetly and shaking his head at something she whispered into his ear. Giggling, she pulled him down and latched onto his neck, her tongue drawing a quick trail to his ear.

The butterflies I always felt inside when I saw him, stilled. I felt Bailey next to me, grabbing my arm gently; either for moral support or so I didn't do something stupid. All the special moments Jake and I had shared with one another evaporated immediately. My lungs burned for me to take a breath; but, all I could do was stare at what I had expected to see all along. I just never thought it would have been so soon.

"Jake…" Paul coughed with another bad attempt at trying to warn his roommate.

Jake still had a smile on his face when he turned to see what Paul wanted. When his eyes met mine, they were red from the alcohol in his system but he had the audacity to look _happy_ to see me. What the fuck was wrong with MEN!?

"Renesmee?" He asked, his smile broadening in the way that always lit up the room. "What are you—"

Without saying a word, I tuned and stormed out, jerking my arm out of Bailey's grasp.

"Ness, wait," Bay said, turning to come after me but not before spitting out "You totally just fucked up, asshole!" I only assumed the remark was for Jacob. I didn't wait around to find out. I just pushed my aching feet to walk faster, hoping she would be at her car before any more damage could be done.

Well here was my moment. The moment I had been waiting for. Jake had messed up and I was done. I could go back to my comfortable, cozy environment again; where men didn't exist and I didn't get hurt. What was shocking was _**not**_ how hurt I actually felt, but how I was beginning to not want to return to my old self. The old me didn't feel rushes of adrenaline when Jake looked at her or kissed her. The old me didn't waste her days thinking about all the ways she could be looked at or kissed. And the old me most certainly didn't come with a tummy full of wild and beautifully dangerous butterflies. I would miss her… I would miss the person he had brought out in me. If he could have brought this out in me in less than two weeks… what would have happened if we had more time?

"I tried to warn you, man!" I heard Paul shout and I knew Jake was behind me. Even if Paul hadn't shouted, I would have known. I was somehow strangely attuned to the Jacob channel. Anytime he was in a one mile radius of me, I could feel him.

As soon as his large, warm hand grabbed my arm, I yanked so hard that he stumbled forward in his slightly inebriated state. I didn't care. I kept walking, shooting my best friend a look that meant for her to burn the rubber off of her tires to get us as far away as quickly as possible.

"Ness, talk to me," Jacob pleaded while I reached for the handle on Bay's car. As soon as I opened the passenger side door, he closed it, his hand holding much more power than both of my arms combined. Pulling hard, I felt the door give, only to be closed once more when leaned into it with his weight.

Dropping my arms, my hands fisted at my sides, my nails digging harshly into my skin. I turned around to face the street, not wanting to see him. In one breath, he was in my field of view, one of his hands still holding the door closed.

Fine. He wanted to play that way… well game on!

I walked around him and to the other side of Bailey's silver coupe. He took a second too long to catch on while he watched Bailey move out of my way. Not looking at either one of them, I opened the driver side door and crawled over to the passenger seat, my gaze staying forward the entire time. I didn't want to see him… I couldn't. Not yet. My heart was in a major battle with my brain at the moment, wanting to hang on to all the lovely pieces he was bringing out in me.

In my _wonderful_ plan of entering through the driver's side, I had forgotten one thing: to actually lock the door.

Don't speak to him. Don't look at him. I repeated this mantra over and over, demanding that my eyes stay forward and my mouth stay closed as I felt the door open more. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of hearing the disappointment in my voice or seeing the hurt in my eyes. It would reveal too much and he didn't deserve to hear it or see it.

"Renesmee, what is wrong? Why are you—"

"What's wrong!" Bailey exclaimed, turning on the ignition. "Seriously!?"

Jacob ignored my best friends and kneeled next to me, the smell of beer coming from him. Instead of it repulsing me, it did the opposite. The smell of beer mixed with him was a heady scent that I had to force away from my brain.

Grabbing my hand, he pulled it, urging me too look at him. I didn't jerk away from his grasp this time. I didn't have it in me to move anymore. I just wanted to go home.

"Look at me… please." Oh, the looking thing again? He always wanted me to look at him when we spoke. This time, I would not give him the satisfaction.

"Look, Ace, you've got about five seconds before I put this car in reverse and back out—taking you with us or not" Bailey cautioned, moving down her gearshift.

"Bailey, please!" Jacob's voice was loud next to my ear. His tone slurred with beer, alarm, and confusion. "Ness, talk to me… what you saw in there isn't what you think."

"What's she supposed to think with some whore rubbing her fake tits all over you?" Bailey yelled over me.

"It's not like that," Jake explained. "I wasn't… she wasn't…"

WAS HE ACTUALLY DENYING IT?

"That's what I thought," Bailey sneered when he didn't continue, letting her foot off the break to send him a real warning.

"Damn it, Bailey, stop!" Jake yelled, moving more into the car, putting himself closer to me.

"Who in the fuck do you think you are telling me what to do? Get out of my car, asshole!"

"Just STOP!" I yelled, my head already aching from the enormous amount of tension entering the tiny car.

Everything grew unearthly quiet. I felt both of their eyes on me; although I kept mine forward, seeing Paul watching by the front door. The big-chested, bimbo was nowhere to be seen. Good.

"Renesmee… If you want to leave," Jacob began, shifting his weight onto his heels in between the open car door and the seat. "Then you need to hear me out first."

I closed my eyes at his words, feeling them stinging with the urge to blink. When I finally looked at him, my eyes were hazy with hurt and anger. "I don't want to hear anything _you _have to say."

"I don't why you are so upset? You just came in at the wrong time—"

"What?" I let out, hearing my best friend's outraged gasp.

"Did he seriously just say that?" Bay's voice was just a whisper to my pounding ears.

"So this is my fault?"

"Th—that's not what I…" he took a breath and cursed again. "She's not even here with me. She's just some fucking groupie Quil brought here. I was trying to be nice to her. I didn't even touch her."

"I could see how much you _weren't _touching her," I spat out sarcastically.

"It wasn't like that. She was on me. I was just about to push her away when—"

I couldn't stand to hear anymore. I was done. All emotion drained away from me as I gave up on wherever this was going. Flatly, I interrupted him. "I get it, okay? You never said we were exclusive. You're obviously not ready to be. I'm sorry I wasted your time. It won't happen again. Whatever this was… it's over."

He took a step back as if I had pushed him, something similar to pain glazing over his eyes. Seizing my moment, I slammed the door shut and locked it this time. Without any word from me, Bailey floored it out of his driveway. The last vision of him that I saw was in the side mirror. He just stood there in his driveway, watching us drive away, his hand gripping at the piece of shirt covering his heart.


	8. Chapter 8: Labels

**Alright guys... I had to give a little bit before I relieved you! I'm going to be giving you guys my most recent update as I'm most likely not going to be able to update for a little bit. I'd also like you to read the note here as a huge thing blew up quickly and I need to address it. **

**PLEASE READ~ I've recently had a situation where I had to block a few people on here (not for this story, but I'm addressing readers anyways). It kills me to do so. PLEASE BE NICE to one another and to me. I do this for fun and hopefully for your entertainment. If you don't like what I write or what other say in their reviews- Then, be courteous and don't read. There will be cussing, love scenes, mushy gushy stuff (it's a love story... what's a love story without some mush?). If you're offended. I sincerely apologize, but I would advise you to look elsewhere for a story. C'mon guys. Be respectful- always! **

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Chapter 8

Labels

"You okay?" Bailey asked, worry lacing through her tone as she drove.

I swallowed at the harsh and painful lump in my throat and nodded. I was not going to cry. I was not going to cry.

A tear rebutted my thoughts. I swiped angrily at it, keeping my eyes forward. How could I cry over a guy I'd barely known for two weeks?

"I know what you're thinking."

"What?" I rasped out.

"You're trying to figure out why you hurt so much."

I looked over at her, surprised with her accuracy. "How'd you know that?"

She shrugged, "Because I'm your best friend and I know you. Whether you like to admit it or not, Jake was more to you than you want to recognize at the moment."

"I don't love him if that's what you're implying."

"No, but you cared for him… a lot, I think," she sighed, handing me an unused napkin from the restaurant. "You broke your 'no dating' rule for him. You opened up to him and started exploring new things."

I flattened the napkin over my face, more tears trailing down my cheeks. She was right. I did care for him… a lot. I even started picturing a future with us. Where he was meeting my parents and we were dating more. I even had several daydreams about what it was like to make love to him. But… that was all over now. He fucked up and I had my out. The out that I had been waiting for since I met him. What I couldn't understand was— why was I so hurt now if I was always waiting for it to end?

"Why do guys cheat?"

"Because they're programmed to be assholes."

I let out a sob/laugh. "Yeah… I was stupid to think he would be different."

Her silence confused me for a moment. I was waiting for another smart remark to come from her about men, but nothing came.

"What aren't you saying?" I asked, turning in my seat to look at her, crumpling the damp napkin in my hand.

I watched her eyes flick up to the rearview mirror, weaving easily in and out of traffic. "It's not the time to bring it up."

"It's not the time to bring up what, exactly?" I asked, my voice lowering an octave. I had a feeling she was about to tell me something I would not like.

She looked over at me, probably making sure I could handle whatever she was going to say. "I'm not saying that he was in the right—because he's not and was such a jerk back there—but, why would he look so happy to see you if he was doing something wrong?"

I felt the immediate need to defend my actions for breaking it off with him. "What do you mean? That whore was all over—"

"Calm down," she cut me off, raising a hand at me to let me know she meant no offense. "I know that whore was all over him. But he wasn't touching her. From my point of view it looked like he was trying to ignore her."

"Ignore her," I shouted, replaying the vision of her tongue gliding up his neck. The neck I had yet to kiss. "He wasn't ignoring her. He wasn't even trying to stop HER!"

"Chill, okay," she huffed, slowing down over one of the many speed bumps that led to the campus dormitories. "I'm just trying to make you see what you're too angry to recognize at the moment."

"I'm not too angry to recognize anything," I said childishly, looking away so I didn't see the look on her face that said she knew otherwise.

"Look, I knew it was a bad time to bring it up. But I also know that you were waiting for something like this to happen. It was your chance and you took it."

"What are you talking about?" I asked; shocked again by how well she knew me.

She looked over at me, one of her brows arching with attitude. "Honey, I know it hurts what he did, but you were waiting for him to screw up. Don't pretend that you weren't. Like I said, I know you too well. And you've been looking for a way to distance yourself from him from day one. You're afraid of getting hurt," her tone softened as she continued. "But, he's not Todd, Ness. And while you were so worried about searching for your out, you started developing feelings for him."

"You're right," I sobered at her sudden rationality. "I do—did have feelings for him."

"Feelings don't go away that fast."

"I know."

**The **next morning, I decided to be productive and finish up an essay along with my other homework—anything to keep my mind busy. It helped that the sun was out today, its rays sneaking through the blinds at my window. Its presence made the first week of September seem warmer than it should be.

Bailey had given me enough space to be alone with my thoughts this morning after I convinced her to go see Paul. She shouldn't be punished for pursuing a possible relationship a guy just because his roommate was an idiot. After talking to me all night, she deserved a good break.

Even though I wasn't ready to yet, I knew I needed to talk to Jacob, too. I needed to explain to him that I wasn't ready for all of this and that I may have overreacted because of it. Bailey had been right about him. I kept replaying that crushing moment over and over in my head. After a few hours, I realized that he had been honest with me. He hadn't touched that girl. While I had seen it at the moment, I didn't recognize until much later that he had looked happy to see me. And, if he had been doing something that he knew would hurt me, why would he have smiled at me as though he had been waiting for me to walk through that door? Still, the thought of them made me sick.

While I knew he didn't want anything serious, he deserved to hear my side of the story. He also deserved for me to hear his. I would give it some time, like, maybe a week before I called him so we could talk. After that, I would continue to swear off men until I was done with school. Last night opened up too many old wounds that I wasn't prepared to deal with yet.

Just as I finished and saved my essay for my Literary Criticism's class, a knock sounded at the door. The tingly awareness that I always felt when I was near Jake fluttered to life. Was he here? No. He couldn't be. He didn't care that much…

Looking at the time on my laptop, I noted it was just a half an hour past noon. My day was not wasting away nearly fast enough. Walking over to the door, I opened it slowly, relieved to see Madison, the girl I had encountered at the club the first night I met Jake, standing there.

"Hi, Maddy."

"Hey," she handed me a hot pink flyer. "We're having a dorm party next weekend," she announced pointing at the date on the colorful paper. "It's a costume party, so dress to impress!"

I mentally rolled my eyes at her exuberance. "Okay, thanks," I replied, starting to shut the door.

"Oh," she pushed on it to stop. "I thought you should know that there's a hot guy asking around for you. He's headed this way right now."

I popped my head out of the door in the direction of Madison's glance, seeing Jake's intimidating body walking briskly through several individuals down the hall; his eyes locked on mine.

"Thanks," I whispered, my throat unable to let anything louder out. As soon as she walked away, I closed the door and hoisted his sweatshirt off of me before tossing it under the bed, my heart pounding furiously in my chest. He's here! I couldn't believe it. I also couldn't believe that I let myself sleep with his shirt on last night. I was too proud to mention to Bailey this morning how I wanted something of his near me.

Quickly bouncing around the room in effort to clean up, I bolted into the small bathroom Bay and I shared, letting my hair fall down in soft curls around me before splashing water on my face. Dabbing my skin dry, I gave myself a little pep-talk. I could do this… right?

The knock on the door that followed a second later was as rapid and blunt as his threatening appearance had been. I hesitated a moment before opening it, knowing that I couldn't pretend to not be here.

"Hey," his deep voice vibrated though me while the sight of him almost brought me to my knees. He looked amazing as always; wearing dark distressed jeans and his usual plain, black tee. But his face was what was most catching. He looked tired and upset. Why would he be upset?

Trying to keep my gaze on his, I replied back shakily; "Hey."

"Can I come in?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

He looked around the hallway filled with some of the student body. "Do you want to have this conversation out here?"

I stared at him for a moment, taking time to try to understand what "this conversation" would entail while my heart thrummed in my chest. I wasn't ready for _this _yet. Since, apparently, he was, I forced my eyes on the floor and stepped back, bringing the door with me to give him enough room to come into my space for the first time.

My tiny dorm room seemed to shrink as he entered, the air crackling with unspoken tension. He looked around at everything, probably trying to figure out which side of the dorm room was mine. I watched his back for a moment, ignoring the way his muscles were defined even hidden under the dark fabric. He seemed edgy my small environment. Like a caged cat, ready for attack.

"Uh," I began, walking over and pulling my desk chair out for him. "Have a seat."

"Thanks," he replied, sitting on the edge of the wooden chair.

Walking to my closet, I grabbed a university sweatshirt and pulled it over my cami, feeling cold and overly exposed in his presence. Picking up my cup of coffee off the desk, I sat Indian-style on my bed; toying with a piece of fuzz on my turquoise comforter while I waited for him to talk.

"Are you going to look at me?" He finally asked.

My eyes found his immediately, hurt and anger already coursing through my veins again. "What is it with you? Why do you always want me to always look at you?"

"I told you," he said defensively. "I like to look at someone when I talk to them."

"Well, I'm not just someone," I replied more loudly than I wanted.

"I know!" He roared back, looking down at his hands and then back up at me. "I know," he said more lightly, his eyes boring into mine. "That's the point."

"What's the point?"

"You're not just someone to me."

I swallowed audibly, shocked; trying with great effort to keep my cup of coffee from spilling over with my shaking hand. "I'm not?"

His brow lowered at me as he exhaled forcibly. "No, how could you think any differently?"

"Because of your previous track record."

He stood in one fluid movement, putting me at a serious disadvantage in height. "Is this always going to be between us? My past?"

I felt my jaw lower… between us? Like we had a future? "Well, it's not so far in your past as you let on."

"I've not been with anyone since I met you."

I shook my head at him as if his will to fight all other women off didn't impress me. "Do you want an award or something. For two weeks of celibacy?"

"No, I wanted you to see that I was trying!" He clarified harshly at my snarky comment. "That's why I took you to La Push with me. I knew if I opened up to you in a way I never opened up to any woman before, you would see that. But ever since you agreed to go out with me, it's like you've been waiting for me to fuck up. You watch me closely… just waiting. It's nerve-racking, do you know that?" He said, shifting an aggravated hand through his hair.

I was stunned, unable to move. Was he that aware of me? "I'm sorry," I said, not denying his words. I guess I need to buck up the courage to tell him what I planned on tell him a week or so from now. Looking down at my bed, I decided to lay everything out. It was time to put this behind me so I could go back to my normal life. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

"For what to happen? Us?"

"There is no us, Jacob." I said, regretting it the moment it came out when I saw the pain in his eyes. "Look… you're right. I was waiting. I was waiting for you to make a mistake so I could… so I could let this go. This stupid, girly fantasy where we had a future and you didn't cheat. But that's not possible. I'm not ready to be with someone and you're incapable of monogamy. I have fought too long and too hard to be _not _in a relationship right now."

"Why?"

"Because."

"I need a reason. If you didn't want anything more from me than a casual fuck, you should at least give me an explanation."

Again, I was rooted to my bed. Is that what he thought this was? He thought I was just using him for sex… sex that we never had?

"Jake, I didn't want you for sex."

He narrowed his eyes at me, his jaw working furiously against his cheek. "If you didn't want a relationship, then what were you doing with me? Since you seem to know my past with women so well, what else could you have wanted?"

Looking at it from his point of view, I could see how he could come up with that conclusion. For me it wasn't so black and white. I wasn't ready to confess why. "Believe me… it wasn't for sex."

"Bullshit."

"It wasn't," I insisted stridently, slamming my coffee cup on my desk.

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because I'm a virgin!" I shouted at him.

He stepped back as if I struck him, reminding me of his reaction last night when I told him it was over. He stopped when he hit the edge of Bailey's bed. "What?"

I swallowed as embarrassment hit me and flowed through my body. Turning away from him, I glanced at my closed window, not wanting to see the bewilderment on his face. What… did he think I was a slut or something? "I'm a virgin," I said again, my breathy voice barely a whisper.

"Why… why didn't you tell me?"

"It didn't really come up." I shrugged, feeling his eyes on my back

"Didn't come up," he repeated as if the words sounding insufficient to him. "Is that why you stopped me that night in front of my garage?"

"Yes."

"But how… I don't get it… You're gorgeous."

After a moment of silence, I took my seat on the bed again and twisted my fingers together, feeling the need to explain. "When I was in high school, I was dating this guy." I told him, my gaze fixed on my hands. "We had been best friends since we were little and grew to love each other as something more, I guess you could say," I took a deep breath and urged myself to continue. "He asked me to prom, and of course I had said yes. I spent months picking out a perfect dress. Bailey had come over that night and we both gotten ready before the guys got there. Afterwards, we had taken pictures and my parents paid for a stretch limo… it was an ideal event for a girl at sixteen. We had been talking about taking things to the next level and since I didn't have a curfew that night, I decided that I would surprise him by giving him the one thing that I never gave to anyone before: myself." Finally, I looked up at Jake, tears welding in my eyes at the memory of Todd. "We hadn't even been there an hour before he turned up missing. I went looking for him and found him in the back seat of someone else's car, the captain of the cheerleading squad straddling his lap." Jacob closed his eyes as soon as the words left my mouth. It was almost like it hurt him to know someone had hurt me like that. "I'm pretty sure that was the night that I vowed never to date again. And, I had kept that promise to myself for three and a half years… until I met you."

"So that's why you were waiting for me to screw up… because you though I would hurt you?"

"Well aside from the fact that seeing another woman all over you last night, which hurt quite badly by the way, yes. That is one of the reasons why I'm not ready for anything… with anyone."

"What's the other reason?"

"My mom."

"What about your mom?"

I sighed, not knowing how to breach this topic with him. "That's something I'm not really ready to talk about yet… I hope you can respect that."

He walked over to the chair near me and turned it around backwards before sitting down again, this time more calmly than he had before. The tension I felt between us when he first came in had faded considerably. "Look," he began resting his arms on the back of the chair, his eyes much softer than a moment ago. He looked so cool and confident. "I came here to talk to you about last night. I couldn't sleep after you left. It killed me that you could just leave so easily," he admitted, his honesty cutting me to the quick. "I know that I had been drinking, and that I hadn't pushed that girl away fast enough. But you have to believe me… nothing happened. I didn't even want her there."

"I believe you."

"But?" he asked, sensing that I had more to say.

"But, it doesn't change anything. I'm still not ready and I can't get the image of her all over you out of my head. Not to mention— how many other girls will there be? I've already come across three women you've _known_ intimately. How many more are there?"

He didn't have a response for that. To me the answer meant more than I could bear to hear.

"Where did you really see things going, Jake? Why were you with me, even for a short time, if you only were ever concerned about short term pleasure with other girls?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly again, stilling me and my thoughts. "I don't know where we were headed, but… you were different. There was just something about you. There_ is_ something about you," he corrected himself. "And, I wanted more with you. I've never wanted more with anyone."

"You wanted more with me?"

"Yes."

I leaned back against the wall, my head beginning to thump painfully with the pressure of all this new information. I never knew he wanted more with me… My heart swelled at the thought.

_He's still a player! _My brain fought back against my heart. _He still has the power to hurt you!_

"Like what?"

"Like, a future," he said with his hands, his brow arching at all the possibilities. "Dating… I don't know. Be a normal couple— whatever the hell that means."

"You wanted to be a couple?"

He nodded. "Eventually, yes."

"But what about sex."

"I want that, too," he admitted shamelessly. My veins instantly heated. I felt the urge to take my sweatshirt off, feeling flushed and somehow needy. The connection we shared was still there, charging the air around us. "When you're ready."

"So where do we go from here, then?" I wondered to myself as well. The realization that I meant more to him than I thought and knowing he was on the same level as me emotionally was not something I considered happening. Now that is was, I didn't know what to do.

"That's up to you."

"Maybe we can start as friends and see where it goes."

He looked down at the floor and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Renesmee, but I can't be your friend. I can't pretend that I don't know what it's like to kiss you… or want you."

Want me? Breathe normally, just breathe normally. "I'm not sure what to say to that."

"Well, where did you see things headed?"

"I'm not sure. The same direction, I guess. Dating, meeting parents… that kind of thing."

"What about sex?"

I set my gaze on his, forcing myself not to blush as I admitted the same thing he did. "I want that, too."

He took a deep breath in, almost like he was relieved. "Then, I definitely can't pretend to be your friend."

"I'm not sure I could, either." I confessed, looking back down at my vibrant comforter.

"You know what I think?" He asked, bringing my eyes to his curiously.

"What?"

"I think you think too much about everything," he smiled, his expression looking as tired as I felt. "I don't have any motive here. I'm just a guy who wants to be with a girl. You're overcomplicating it and I understand that is just the way you work because of your past. But, let's just continue taking things slow and see where it goes and try not to put labels or definitions on anything."

"But if I'm not ready to do the relationship thing, I'm seriously not ready to be in a relationship that's open ended. If I try to let go of all the values I've held on to for so long, I can't do it with someone that is going to cheat on me."

"Well then there is one label we'll put on our relationship."

"And that is?"

"That we're in a relationship. We're taken. We are in this together and wherever it leads. Call it going steady, going out," he shrugged, unable to put a name to it. "Whatever you want, I don't care. If you're willing to take this chance on me, then I'm willing to put everything I have into it. That includes no one else. Just us."

"Just us," I repeated, liking the way it sounded even if it went against everything my brain was telling me. I felt speechless and the need to utter a million words at the same time. I've treated him so unfairly and he still wanted to be with me?

_Don't forget about bimbo 1,2, and 3! He's been unfair to you as well. There could be a hundred more—_My subconscious reminded me.

"So, you're saying that you can be monogamous," I asked slicing the air with my hands. "Just like that?"

"For you? Yes."

"It's just that easy for you? To swear off all other women? Even after they follow you around from show to show—throwing their panties at you?"

He chuckled. "I don't think they'll be throwing their panties at me, but if they do, yours will be the only panties I want thrown at me."

"Jake!" I scoffed, throwing a pillow at him, flushing more violently than I had at admitting I wanted to have sex with him.

He laughed harder, catching the pillow with his quick, deft hands. "So are you in this with me or not?"

My heart bloomed at his sincere face. He was serious about this. It floored me. To think that I was the only woman that could put him in the "taken" category was something that I would die happy about. I had always went against the rational part of my brain telling me to push him away until last night and it only brought me pain. A pain that I realized now was more from not being able to be with him than what he had done.

Okay. No more thinking… I'm just going to go with it. "I'm with you."

For the second time today, he came up out of the chair smoothly, skirting it to come closer. Kneeling on my bed, he loomed over me, waiting for me to come the rest of the way. I slowly sat up on my knees, like him, and looked up into his eyes that seemed to have lightened a shade or two since he had walked in.

Gently brushing the hair away from my face, he held me between his hands, his warm thumb gliding over my lips. "Just one more thing."

"What?"

I looked at him, my face growing serious. "No more girls. No more girls kissing you or touching you. I don't like it."

"Deal. As long as the same rule applies to you."

I quirked a smile at him. "I'm not into girls."

He leaned closer. "You know what I mean. No guys... no one else but me."

"Deal." Not like any men where knocking down my door anyway. I wasn't the one that was catching everyone's eye when he went on stage. Even when he wasn't on stage eyes were drawn to him- mine included.

I closed my eyes, waiting for the one thing that would come next. When it came, it took my breath away. It was a kiss that sealed out agreement. It started out slow and easy and picked up power and rhythm as the passion grew between us. Soon, our breaths were a hushed pant that barely echoed around the room.

As his tongue dipped and twisted with mine, he lowered me down onto the bed, my head resting against my pillows. His hard and resilient body moved over mine, pressing me into the mattress. His weight felt good against me as he slid one leg in between mine. It was the first time our make out sessions had taken place on a bed. I was really enjoying the change up. A dull ache began to grow at the apex of my thighs. I shifted under him, trying to relieve a throb that I knew nothing about.

He groaned into my mouth, the sound pulsating through me as he pushed my legs further apart with his knee. I felt something hard and unyielding press against my thigh with the weight of his jeans; his arousal, I presumed. The thought of being able to turn him on did something to me. My body softened, like I was readying myself for him. I didn't know what to do in response while my insides heated and throbbed.

For the first time since we had started seeing each other, I let my hands explore and roam over his back. Even over his shirt, I could feel each tense muscle, warm and supple against my fingertips. Growing fearless and more curious, I arched my back, pressing my breasts into him and moved my hands lower to the hem of his shirt, allowing my hands to touch the bare flesh right above his jeans.

The moment my hand touched his skin, he abruptly ended our kiss, leaving me flush and breathless beneath him. He looked down at me, his eyes uncertainly dark while he held his weight with his arms next to my head.

"Why did you stop?" I asked, cupping his cheek with my hand. He leaned his face into my palm before kissing it.

"Because."

I smiled, feeling like we just had this conversation. "Because, why?"

He sighed. "Because now that I know you are a virgin, it changed things a little."

I stopped touching his cheek, not knowing how to take his comment. My brow lowered slightly. "Why?"

"Because you don't realize what you are doing."

"I don't realize what I'm doing?" I stated more than asked. Ouch… that kind of hurt. Was I a bad kisser or something? Honestly, I never gave much thought to it. I just followed his lead and forgot about everything else when he was touching me. "Well… I'm _sorry _that I don't know what I'm doing."

He sighed again, this time more loudly. "You're thinking too much again. I didn't mean that as a bad thing," he clarified, brushing some of my hair off my forehead. "I just meant that you don't know what you're doing to me. That's how it changes things."

"Oh," I heard myself say. "What am I doing to you?" What was I doing to him? I was dying to know.

He looked down between our bodies at where the bulge in his pants was more noticeable than usual. "You know what you are doing," he glanced back up at me, his smile languid and sexy as hell.

I wouldn't care if he took me right now, as long as he kept looking at me like that. "Either I know what I'm doing or not," I teased.

"You don't know and you do know," he said cryptically before adding, "You know what your effect is on me, but you don't know what it does to a man to be affected like this."

"Tell me then," I replied, linking my arms around his neck to bring him closer.

"It could be dangerous," he whispered playfully against my lips, causing adrenaline to rush into my veins, liking the idea of how close to danger I was. Kissing me gently he added, "I could lose all control with you," trailing his tongue between my lips, he kept going. "Forget how careful I need to be." I couldn't take his teasing anymore and held his head to mine, my fists griping his short hair.

"I like you dangerous," I breathed, admitting one of my secrets to him.

He growled against my lips, "See," he said, pulling back once more. "You have no idea what you're doing to me."

Feeling like I was already destroying all the boundaries we just set up around us, I didn't push my luck any further. If I was really going to try this whole relationship thing, then I needed to respect his wishes as much as he respected mine.

I let go of his neck and he sat back on his heels, adjusting himself more comfortably in his jeans. I stared at him, dumbfounded. He just touched himself in front of me! Not only had I seen him naked, I had also seen him touch himself. I would never get either thought out of my mind ever again!

"You okay," he asked ruefully, noticing my line of sight.

I felt warmth take over my neck and move north. "Yes," I licked my dry lips.

"You're doing it again," he said, reminding me once more of how I knew what I was doing but didn't understand the "effects" just yet. I would need to talk to Bailey about this.

"Sorry," I turned my gaze away from him, to try to remove all temptation. He moved himself out from between my legs and shimmied down on his side- facing me and dwarfing my twin sized bed completely. I turned on my side towards him to give us both more room.

For a moment, we looked at each other, searching one another's eyes and faces for the slightest bit of emotion. Although I wanted to shy away from his glance, his coffee stained eyes held mine, the golden flecks in his irises flickering with the rays of sunlight beaming through my blinds.

I couldn't believe that I had a man in my bed. An actual, air breathing, fine as hell man…

The moment I saw his blinks become heavier, I felt guilty for him losing sleep over me. He cared for me far more than I thought he did. I couldn't help run my fingers through his hair, shifting the short strands away from his forehead. His eyes closed at the contact and stayed that way for several seconds. When he reopened his eyes, he gently moved onto his back, bringing me against his side; silently telling me he wanted me closer. I went eagerly.

It felt as natural as breathing to drape my arm over his abdomen and lay my head on his chest while he cocooned me with his arms. He was so warm and solid underneath my head, his chest restfully moving up and down with me as his breathing slowed. I bent my elbow and placed my hand in the middle of his chest, feeling his heart's pulsating rhythm pound lightly against my palm. He was so alive and virile… and mine.

Just touching him like this made the hibernated butterflies living in my belly, awaken and stir sleepily before flapping their wings. I felt both giddy and relaxed; my body was at war with itself. I was also scared. I would need to take this slow, like he said. There was too much at risk… my heart included.

"So… you're my boyfriend now?" I asked, tracing an absentminded pattern on his shirt with my fingertip.

His kissed the top of my head. "Is that what you want me to be? It's another label."

I propped my chin up on his chest and looked up at him. "I'm just trying to figure out a way to explain us to other people. Since, I obviously can't say no to you."

His chest vibrated with contained laughter. "I like the fact that you can't say no to me; but, if you don't want this, don't do it just because you think it's what I want." His voice had lost a little bit of its warmth. Beneath me, I could feel him grow tense.

I lifted my eyes to the ceiling, appearing thoughtful; teasing him by taking my time to answer. Whether my brain wanted it or not, the other parts of my body couldn't fight the electric connection to him.

"I want us, too," I said, my cheeks growing warmer with my admission.

His smile widened, his bright and perfectly straight teeth causing the butterflies to react oddly. "Took you long enough."

I let out a breathy giggle and laid my head back down on his chest to resume my tracing. "Then it's okay if I call you my boyfriend?"

"If that's what you want. As long as you're mine."

"Yours?" My stomach dipped at his phrase. Gosh, I knew a line a line of women that wanted to be _his. _But I was the only one he wanted? It was hard to believe. "So, girlfriend?"

"Yes, among other things. It's weird to say…hmm." He hummed before testing the word. "Girlfriend."

I took a deep breath and held my smile against his chest, hiding it from him and the way his last sentence made me feel. "How long has it been since you've been said that word?"

He chuckled. "Other than the usual childhood crushes?"

"Yes."

He took a deep breath in, my head moving up with his expanding lungs. "Never."

* * *

**If you'd like to see a PICTURE of the CAST of this book (so far: the characters that have made an appearance)- please check it out here:  
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	9. Chapter 9: Otis

Chapter Nine

Otis

"Hey," Leisha greeted, throwing an apron at me as I walked into the back of the restaurant. "I clocked you guys in already."

"Thanks," I replied, barely catching the short, black fabric it one hand. The traditional smell of pizza overwhelmed everything but the sounds of patrons talking over the jukebox's music. Bailey walked in behind me. I listened as Leisha repeated her process with my best friend while I tied my apron around my waist and shifted it properly over my jeans.

"'Ey, there's my girls," Al called from the kitchen.

"Hey, Al," I smiled and waved at him through the order window.

"Where you been all my life, handsome?" Bailey asked, teasing Al while adjusting her apron as well.

His face, having already been red from the heat of the kitchen, turned ruddier. "In the kitchen breakin' hearts," he replied, winking at all of us.

"Oh, they certainly broke the mold with you, Al," Leisha ruefully let out.

I joined in, too. "She's right," I sighed wistfully. "I'm not sure I could even imagine my life without you or your pizza."

"Enough chit, chat, 'ey? Get ready for your shift, would ya?"

We all giggled together but did as he told. The night went off as expected: insanely busy and exhausting. By eleven, I was beginning to drag from the lack of sleep I had the night before worrying over Jacob. I really hoped I wasn't being stupid about him. Was it foolish to think he could change for me? Could he become monogamous for the first time in his life?

I thought back to earlier that day when we had fallen asleep together on my bed. I had never slept in the same bed as a man before. I gotta say— he was definitely something to wake up to. I never thought I would have been so comfortable sleeping next to another with so little room on my bed. I couldn't help but watch him for a while; his face, even during slumber, was stunning. He looked younger than I had ever seen him before.

I was thinking of his sweet, sleeping face as I went to the back to get more straws, a smile plastered across my face.

"What are you so happy about?" Leisha asked, smiling back at me.

"Nothing," I chimed blushingly.

"She's snagged Mr. Sexy bod off the market." Bailey let her in on my little secret.

"What?" Leisha's brow shot up, probably shocked that I had broken my 'no dating' rule, too. "Mr. Sexy bod? Sounds hot."

"Oh, he's hot alright… and a musician," Bailey continued to fill her in. I just felt my smile getting bigger and bigger. Just the thought of them talking about _my _boyfriend woke the butterflies in my tummy.

Leisha looked at me again, her eyes widening further. "Double score. I didn't peg you for a musician's girl."

"That's because I'm not," I admitted, my brain reminding me again how stupid the idea sounded. "He's just very… convincing."

"Oh, I'm sure he knows exactly how to convince you." They both chuckled at my timid expression.

Feeling both the real and figurative heat from the kitchen, I began walking back to the front. As soon as I pressed open to the saloon doors that led to the front of the restaurant, I stopped.

Todd was now sitting in my section, watching the doors as if he had been waiting for me to walk through at any moment. I took a step back in and turned towards my co-workers, my face most likely giving away all of my emotions. My heart began thumping viciously. Why was he here? And why in the hell did he still have to affect me like this?

"What is it?" Bay asked, pulling a pizza out of the window.

"Not what, but who" I huffed, feeling sick. I thought it was going to be an awesome night—my first night as Jacob's girlfriend. Now, it all looked as if it were crashing down around me.

"Todd?" Bailey asked, already figuring it out without me explaining anything. "Really? Man he's got some balls coming back here."

"What do you think he wants?"

Bailey turned me around towards the doors with one free hand. "There's only one way to find out." She gave me a good nudge and I used what little strength I had in my legs to keep moving forward. Yes. I had forgiven him, but that didn't mean I ever wanted to see him again. Not to mention he didn't really apologize in person. What kept me moving was the fact that I realized in order for me to move forward, I've got to let this all go; especially if I wanted to move forward with Jake.

"Todd," I greeted stiffly, noticing he was alone in the booth.

"Hey, Ness," his welcoming smile brought back so many memories. Memories that I didn't want to remember.

"Can I get you something?"

"Yes." I pulled out my order pad and put pen to paper, waiting for his request. "Your phone number."

My hands and eyes stayed where they were for a moment, not sure if I had heard right or not. "What was that?"

"I'd like your phone number."

My arms fell by my sides, feeling as though they weighed a ton. I clutched tightly at the pen and tablet in my hand, needing something to hang onto that wasn't so obvious.

"Uh, that's…" I stopped, not knowing what to say. I never expected this. "That's not going to happen."

"Did you get my note?" He asked, his beautiful blue eyes sparkling with the dim lighting.

"Your napkin, you mean?" I asked tautly. "The one where you wrote you were sorry on because you couldn't say it to me in person? That note? Is that the note you were referring to?" His eyes dipped low, shame spreading across his face while I kept my tone sharp and insulting. I couldn't help it. It was a lot to let go of so soon. I shifted from one foot to the other, uncomfortable with having to be near him.

"Yes," his nostrils flared as he took in a deep breath. He slid out of his booth and stood in front of me, again appearing much taller than I remembered him. He had to be at least six foot, three now. The only thing still recognizable to me was his handsome appearance; even that made me uneasy. It reminded me of all the times I kissed him, watched him with admiration… ugh! Jerk.

I felt the pressure of his hands wrap around mine as he picked them up and held them securely. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Renesmee. If I could go back and change anything- that would be the first thing I'd change. You deserved to hear that a long time ago, but I was too proud… and stupid."

I swallowed, trying to rehydrate my suddenly dry throat. Stupid was an apt assessment, I thought.

I looked at back at him for a few seconds. I could still see my old best friend peeking through the masculine features of his face. There was a familiar presence about him, about his touch. This apology was much better than the last. This one would help me let go more easily.

"I miss your friendship, too. Do you think we can ever be friends again?" He asked, his eyes so sincere, I wanted to believe him.

Friends? Could I be _his _friend? Could people be friends with their exes? "I don't know, Todd."

"Can you forgive me at least?"

"Yes," I replied, feeling more weight lift off my shoulders. "I have forgiven you."

He let out a relieved breath. I tried to pull my hands away, only to feel his grip grow snugger.

"So can we hang out sometime? Catch up; see a movie or something?"

I tried to take a step back, but he held on. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Why?"

"It's just not."

"Why?" He asked, his voice raising slightly.

"Because she has a boyfriend," I heard a deep, familiar voice say behind me, causing my back to go ramrod straight.

Todd's eyes shot up over my head and I knew Jake was behind me. I could feel my tingly awareness of him swirl around my head. Bailey was right. Todd had some balls. Even with Jacob, a monstrous sized man with a dangerous lure about him, towering over me, Todd still didn't let go.

Feeling like I had gotten caught doing something I wasn't supposed to, I pulled hard enough to release Todd's grasp around my hands. I heaved back with such force that when he let go, I stumbled back into Jake's firm chest.

Careful hands caught me and righted me on my feet. "You okay, baby?" He asked, his voice void of its usual warmth. I nodded cautiously, unable to speak as I looked up at Todd; vaguely aware of the butterflies flapping around in my tummy at the word "baby."

He took a step closer to me and rested both of his hands on my shoulders. I stilled instantly. It was an act that sent the possessive message: back off, she's mine!

Jacob's posture was hard and unyielding against my back. I looked over my shoulder at him. All the tenderness I had ever seen on his face was gone. He didn't look back at me. He didn't even blink. He just stared at my ex, his heart beating as furiously as mine.

"Jake," I began, not knowing what else to do but use formality at a time like this. "This is Todd Mitchell, my—"

"Ex-boyfriend," Todd cut in. I froze again. Really, Todd? Really?

"Todd this is Jacob Black—"

"Her _not ex-_boyfriend," Jake interrupted me, the pressure of his hands growing stronger on my shoulders. Why did I feel like I was in the middle of a pissing contest?

"Todd," Bailey's voice caught my attention. "What a horrible—I mean nice… What a nice surprise," she said stepping in between us, creating a much needed distance in the tense environment. "Come with me and I will set you up with a pizza," she pulled on his arm. When he kept his gaze on Jacob, she added. "On the house."

Thank God for best friends!

"I'll see you around, Nessie," Todd's regard sounded more like a promise. I didn't say anything as Bailey tugged him away. I only moved when my best friend turned around and mouthed "Take your break!" at me.

I was already aware of how bad the situation looked before I even spun around and looked up at Jake. Seeing him just peer down at me, his jaw taught against his cheek made the sick feeling in my stomach churn some more. He was visibly tense and I had caused that. I hated it.

Wanting to rid that look of his face, I placed my hand of his arm. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," he said forcefully, his brow pulling together. He did not look fine.

"C'mon," I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the back. I felt his hesitance as he followed me through the saloon doors and into the employee only area.

" 'ey!" Al's voice carried through the opening of the order window from the kitchen. Jake and I stopped, hearing the frustrated voice coming from my boss. A second later, Al bounded out the kitchen door, a stern look on his face. "This ain't no gatherin' place for your friends, Ness."

"I know, Al. I'm sorry. I was just heading out back to take my break." Jake tried to pull his hand out of mine but I wasn't letting go. Al's old eyes missed nothing. He lowered his gaze to where I held onto Jacob's hand before he lifted them back to me.

"Is this Bozo?" He asked, stepping closer to Jacob, crossing his arms over his chest before giving him a look that meant business. "Youz want me trow him out?"

I grabbed Al's shoulder, smiling at his fatherly intimidation techniques. "This one I like, Al."

"Oh," Al let out, "that changes things, then. " He lowered his threatening stance and extended a hand to Jake.

I was relieved to see that even if Jacob was upset at me, he didn't take it out on Al. "Nice to meet you, Al."

"Yeah, youz, too." Al slid his glance over to me. "Take ten, Ness. But don't bring your friends back here again, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Al." I turned, eager to get Jacob alone so I could explain myself.

" 'ey," Al exclaimed just as I reached the door. "You better treat her right or you're gonna have me to answer to. And I don't take too kindly to men treating my girls bad, capisce?" Oh, Al.

Jake nodded, "Understand."

I pushed on the back door and held it open for Jake, the fresh air hitting me in a rush. Even though it was an awful time to think it, he was the most attractive I had ever seen him before. Anger was obviously a good look for him.

I gestured towards my spot on the old, blue milk crates. "Want to have a seat?"

"No, thanks." For the second time today, I noticed he was edgy. There was an unspoken tension strumming around him, making me want to keep my distance, but I was too enchanted to back away. My chest was almost vibrating with my strong pulse.

"Mind if I sit?" He shook his head and paced a little while I relieved my aching feet from the pressure of standing. I knew if I allowed my under-the-surface nerves to take over, it would make things worse. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He shrugged. "What's there to talk about? I just came in to surprise my new girlfriend and I was the one who got the surprise." I took the direct hit to my chest.

"Well, I'm surprised," I teased, my smile falling when he frowned at my awful joke. "Look, I know what that must have looked like, but Todd was just apologizing to me. It was something he should have done a long time ago. If I didn't think it would help me move forward with you, I would have never spoken to him in the first place."

His brow lifted considerably. "Are you actually trying to tell me that you holding hands with another guy and looking at him like he was your long lost love was for me?"

"In a roundabout way… yes. And we weren't holding hands," I defended before correcting myself. "Well, I wasn't holding _his_ hands. And he isn't my long lost love." I was quick to point out. Not exactly, anyway.

"I didn't like it."

"I didn't like it, either; but, I had to trust you that you didn't do anything with that girl the other night, just like you have to trust me now. If we can't trust each other this soon into things, then what are we even doing together?"

He sighed and stopped pacing in front of me. "Point made." Wow… that was easier than I thought it would be. "Just tell me one thing."

Oh, great… it wasn't over yet. "Anything."

His brow lifted again and he smiled. Good. He was back to smiling. "Anything?"

My eyes darted around the night, trying to figure out what secrets about me that he could possibly want to know. The only one I could come up with was the issue with my mom. "Well, almost anything."

He took a step closer and kneeled down in front of me, becoming eye level. "Was that they guy that broke your heart when you were in high school?"

Of course he would put all those evident pieces together. Honesty was the best policy, right? "Yes."

His head dropped for a moment. He appeared to be searching the ground for unknown answers. When he looked back up at me, he still wore the thin, anxious mask of anger, but his eyes had softened a bit. "Do I have anything to worry about?"

I had to hold back a laugh, realizing that he was serious. His question reminded me yet again how little we knew of each other. If he knew me at all, he would've known Todd wasn't even a blip on my radar. His betrayal had cut me too deeply. Looking at things from his point of view, I could understand how he would think that, though. It was also kind of humorous to me to think that he could be jealous. I mean, how many girls have I seen touch him since we started dating? And he was the one that thought he had something to worry about?

With him just a foot away, I linked my arms around his neck and pulled him in close. Looking at him directly in his eyes, I said, "No. You never have anything to worry about."

He didn't look relieved by my words. Instead of bringing me in for a kiss like I thought he would, he whispered, "He said something about a note."

The light smile that had been on my lips, fell; "How long were you listening?"

"Long enough to catch that," he said searching my face for the slightest sign of reaction. "And to hear how upset you were about it." I lifted my arms away from him and hugged myself from the extreme temperature change outside and around Jake. "That kind of resentment holds a lot of feelings… feelings that are hard to let go of."

"How would you know anything about that if you've never dated anyone?" I asked sharply.

He raised one his muscular shoulders indifferently. "I've been on the receiving end."

Oh. "Well that's what happens when you go jumping into every girl's bed within a hundred miles."

"Don't try to change the subject," he caught onto my deflection methods.

"Do you seriously want to do this right here? Right now?" I asked, swiping an aggravated hand down my face. "I only have minutes left of my break. Do you really want to spend that time arguing?"

"We aren't arguing— we are talking. Do you still have feelings for him?" God, that was a hard question to answer to my BRAND NEW boyfriend!

I continued to deflect. "Did you get off work early or something? I thought you were going to be at the club until one in the morning."

"I switched sets with the D.J. so I could surprise you. Now answer the question."

Damn, he wasn't letting up. "Yes," I groaned loudly. "I do have several feelings for Todd, all of them either in the angry or hurt category. I don't have too many good feeling for that man you saw in there. I don't know him anymore. I can barely even recognize him. He's not the person he once was. He may be a better version, but I don't want to stick around to find out." Taking a deep breath, I kept going before he could interrupt again. "And before you say anything else, I just want to reiterate what I was trying to tell you before. I was only talking to him because I knew if I accepted his apology, I could let go of the past and move forward with you. I should get mad props for that. You have no idea how far I've come in the few short weeks I've known you."

One side of his lips twisted up in a beautiful crooked smile. "Mad props? What is this, the 90's?"

I pushed against his shoulder, watching him rock back onto his heels. "Hey! Watch it buddy, I know where you live." I warned him teasingly, relieved to see the affection and tenderness come back into his features.

Jake looked down at his watch and squinted in the darkness to read it. "Well, you've got about three and a half minutes left on your break. What do you want to do?"

I grabbed him by the neck again and pulled his face an inch away from mine. "Oh, I can think of a few things."

When I got back inside, I was thankful to see that Todd had gone home. I had set up Jake with a few pizzas to take home for the band and promised him that Bailey and I would swing by after work. Even though I was exhausted, I was bound and determined to erase my last vision of his place from my mind. The last time I had walked in, hadn't been so pretty. Plus, I really was attracted to the butterflies in my belly whenever he was around. He made me feel almost weightless in his presence, like I could just lift off at any moment.

"How much did you make tonight?" Bailey asked me as we headed towards her car.

"Around two hundred in tips, you?"

"About the same." We both made around $300 a weekend, which wasn't that bad. All of it, however, went towards our education and bills. It was a bit of a struggle at times, but I knew that it would pay off in the end—whatever I had to do to make my own way. I wasn't going to accept anything else from my parents. They were handed everything and I didn't want any part of that.

We both slumped into her car, completely drained. I hated to admit that I had second thoughts about going over to Jake's. It was well past midnight and I still had to finish some homework and work tomorrow.

Bailey did her normal routine and went through her phone to look at any missed messages while I looked out the windshield, watching Leisha duck into a little, black Saab convertible. It was a cute, petite car that fit her style. She started it a second later and lowered the roof, taking advantage of the cool (almost) Autumn breeze and no rain. Driving, she rounded her car closer to Bay's and I rolled my window down.

"Hey," I greeted. "Long time no see."

"Right?" She laughed before asking. "What are you guys up to tonight?"

"We're just headed over to Jake's."

"Jake's?" She asked, leaning her head over the window. "Is that the Mr. Sexy Bod I've been hearing about all night?"

I flushed. "Yep."

"Well have fun and be careful," she began before giggling. "And if you're not— name it after me," She winked. My face grew warmer with each word out of her mouth. "What about you, Bay?"

"I'm going with Ness. The whole band is over there."

Leisha appeared more interested. "Really? The whole band? Sounds like my kind of party."

"Do you want to come?" I offered, hoping that Jake wouldn't mind.

"I don't want to impose."

"It wouldn't be an imposition, trust me," Bailey said, leaning over me to see Leisha better.

Leisha gave it some thought before agreeing. I gave her the address even though she planned to follow us and we all headed out, waving at Al as he closed up for the night.

By the time we got to Jake's, there were at least four or five cars parked out beside his house. I felt my anxiety rise as I thought about how many people were inside. Being in a room full of people I knew made me anxious and I was about to walk into a place full of people I _didn't _know. Let's just hope for Jacob's sake no women were crawling all over him.

The music from his condo could be heard on the street. I vaguely wonder how his neighbor's felt about it. Jake didn't seem like the inconsiderate type.

As Bailey, Leisha, and I walked up the cluttered driveway, my heart picked up rhythm. Would I ever get used to seeing him and not be nervous?

Bailey, on the other hand, her excitement was anything but concealed. I could tell she was looking forward to seeing Paul. She was fiddling with her hair and shirt, cursing the fact that she was still wearing our uniform polo.

The closer we got to the door, the louder everything became. I could hear the teasing, snide remarks flowing throughout the main room, different members of the WolfPack insulting one another in a playful way. With the way they spoke and carried on, I knew they had to be accustomed to the night life. And, although I had been extremely tired when I got off work, I had a second wind hit me as soon as I heard Jacob's deep laughter over the others.

With the door slightly opened, Bailey gave it a few good thumps and pushed it open. "Knock, knock," she said, entering the room with the type of confidence I envied. I backed up and waited for Leisha to go in, delaying my entrance into the awkward environment for as long as possible.

"Finally," I heard Quil call out from inside. "It's such a wiener-fest in here. I was about to have to make some phone calls." I stepped in just in time to see an empty beer can bounce of Quil's head and ricochet against the wall. "Alright, who threw that?" There were several masculine chuckles coming from all around, but I was too busy looking for a certain WolfPack member to pay attention to who everyone was.

As soon as my eyes found Jacob, the butterflies, that apparently lived in my tummy now, shivered to life, their wings growing every time I saw him.

Leisha stayed close behind me as we walked over to the couch Jake was occupying.

"Hey, beautiful," Jake said, holding a beer in one hand and reaching for me with the other.

"Back atcha," I said aloud, thinking that he was more beautiful than I ever hoped of being. He grabbed my hand and tugged me around before pulling me down onto his lap. For a moment all I could do was try to remain breathing. Calm… I just needed to be calm… while I sat upon the world's most gorgeous man's lap!

"Relax," he whispered his usual sentiment to me, his breath right next to my ear. I shivered, his amazing scent floating over me. Again, even mixed with the strange smell of beer, he smelled delicious… I wondered what he tasted like.

I shifted myself more comfortably on his lap, my feet just barely being able to touch the ground. Jake stiffened a little at my movements. I couldn't help but get the feeling that I was I making him uncomfortable. It was making me uncomfortable as well.

"Who's this?" Jake asked, looking up at Leisha.

"Oh, Leisha, I'm sorry," I murmured an apology for forgetting her while I planted myself on the best seat in the house. Trying not to blush, I introduced them. "Jake this is Leisha; she works with us at Al's. Leisha this is Jacob Black, lead singer of the WolfPack."

Jake switched his beer to his other hand that was around me and they shook hands, Leisha also turning a few shades red from that panty dropping smile my boyfriend had. Afterwards she gave me a look that said: "Mr. Sexy Bod is hot!"

"Alisha, nice to meet you," Jake said, moving the knee I was sitting on a bit. I knew it. I was making him uncomfortable. I started to get up but he grabbed me around that waist and held on.

Oh…. Hmmm. Okay… Why was this kinda hot?

"Oh, it's just Leisha… not A-lisha," she corrected him sweetly.

"Leisha," Jake repeated like he was making a mental note. "I'm Sorry."

"Don't apologize," she smiled at him. "Everyone calls me that. I just figured since you were dating Ness, it'd be kinda awkward if you were still calling me that a year from now and it wasn't my name."

I felt my mouth pop open. A year from now… Would I still be with Jake a year from now? Jake grinned back at her, his handsome face becoming more noticeable with his perfect smile. When he looked back at me, he was wearing a face that I was bound and determined to see again one day. Was he thinking about the same thing I was? Did it freak him out as much as it did me?

"Good to know," he replied to my friend, but not taking his eyes off of mine. Looking back at Leisha, he took in a deep breath before yelling, "Guys this is Leisha. Leisha," he gestured to the rest of his house, cluttered with people. "This is the guys."

Numerous cat calls and grunts followed other more civilized greetings. I looked around, noticing for the first time that there were only men here. No. Not just men, but only Native American men.

I leaned back and whispered in Jake's ear. "You havin' a WolfPack convention?"

His eyes slanted towards me as he took a swig of beer, a laugh he was suppressing causing his atom's apple to move up and down in the most hypnotizing way. I made a vow right then that before the night was over with I was going to kiss that neck. I wanted to feel his warm skin against my lips. The thick, muscular column that was so amazing to look at. It also held up the most beautiful face in the world.

_Would you listen to yourself? You're falling for him—Stop it!_ My brain chanted at me.

"Just some guys from the Rez," Jake informed me. "We get together about once a month."

"Hey Ness," A familiar face caught my attention.

"Hi Seth," I greeted, hoping that was his name. He didn't correct me. He was so adorably cute I could barely stand it. He was tall, of course, just like the rest of these mountainous men. Jeez, what kind of water do they having on the reservation? I could tell that he had a really nice body, also like the rest of the WolfPack, but his face told me he was years younger than them. I think Jake said he was their manager/bassist. He was obviously talented and a heart breaker.

"Did I hear Jake say your name was Leisha?" Seth asked my friend, assertively lowering himself to her so she could hear him better.

She flushed and smiled at him before looking at me. She looked like she had butterflies in her tummy, too. "Yes."

"Cool. Nice name. I'm Seth."

"Nice to meet you."

"So, how do you know Ness?" It felt weird for Seth to talk about me as if we'd known each other for a while. I'm pretty sure I've only spoken to him once.

"We go to the same school and we work together," she nodded, sweeping some golden, brunette locks behind her ear.

He flirted back with an incredible smile. "Oh yeah? What's your major?"

"I'm trying to figure that out right now."

"Cool. Taking time to choose the right thing. I like it. You want a beer, Leisha?" Seth asked, motioning to the kitchen.

"Sure."

They walked off together before Seth turned around and winked at me. "Thanks for the pizza, Ness." I laughed to myself as he pointed down at Leisha while her back was turned and gave me the "thumbs up" sign. Oh, boys.

As they made their way into the kitchen, I saw Bailey sitting on the counter, sipping on a beer. She looked so comfortable and at ease while talking to a group of intimidating men. Would I ever be that way? Paul was standing next to her, his eyes barely moving away from the sight of her as she talked animatedly to the group. I felt a little relieved as I noticed that he was just enamored with her as she was with him.

"Did you notice?" Jake said, moving his legs underneath me to get my attention.

"Hmmm?"

"There are no girls here tonight."

I smiled at his face. "You know," I tapped my chin and narrowed my eyes playfully. "I seemed to have caught onto that."

He chuckled at me, the rock music blaring around us almost drowning him out. "I didn't think we could handle another incident in the same twenty four hours."

I turned in his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. He was right, in one day I had broken it off, gotten back together, defined my relationship with him, and then Todd happened. That's a lot of crap to work through for one day. "No, I don't think we could."

He grinned at me and mumbled something I couldn't understand before tapping the messy bun in the back of my head.

"What?" I asked over the loud music.

"I said, you look so cute with your hair up," he repeated more loudly.

I flushed as the song he was speaking over slowed to an end and everyone heard him shout at me. They all turned and looked at me, some faces I recognized and some I didn't. God that was embarrassing.

The next song came on and everyone in the kitchen began walking over to where Jake and I were. I felt like shying into the man I was sitting on, but tried to give off the vibe that I was as confident as Bailey was. Who was I kidding? I probably looked horrified at watching the gang of 12 Indians heading my way. For some reason, a song popped in my head. "One little, two little, three little Indians. Four little, five little… six BIG Indians…"

"Hey man, we're gonna bolt. It's getting late and I gotta get home to Leah and the kids," one of them said to Jake.

"Alright Sam," Jake said moving me off his lap to stand. He shook several of the men's hands. "I'll see you guys next month."

"Sounds good," Sam replied before the others said their goodbyes to Jake, some of them waving at me as well.

The house was almost totally empty as soon as they left. Only members of the WolfPack and my friends remained. Within ten minutes Quil had bolted claiming there wasn't enough women around to put "the moves" on. Jared, Seth, and Leisha left afterwards, leaving only Paul, Bailey, Jake, and myself. It wasn't long before Paul had whisked my best friend off to what I'm guess was his bedroom.

Somehow I had spotted a closed shelf on Jake's entertainment center a little while later. Curiosity got the best of me and I was currently on my stomach, lying on the living room floor with Jake, scanning through his monumental cd and record collection.

"Shut up— The Eagles were awesome!" I exclaimed when Jake had disagreed. "No. Scratch that. They are _still _awesome!"

He was lying on his side, his head propped up on his hand, watching me with amused face. "I'm not saying they weren't… there were just other bands during the time that were better."

I shook my head, disagreeing. "Like who? And don't say the Beatles like everyone else does."

"Well… The Beatles were pretty awesome."

"Whatever."

He laughed at my overreaction. "Well let's see if there is a band in here we can agree on, then."

"Okay," I decided, looking over the all the albums sprawled across the floor with us. I found one that I thought was funny that he had. Picking it up, I displayed it in front of me. "The Bee Gees? Really?"

He grabbed the album out of my hand and looked it over. "I forgot I had this one. _'Stayin' Alive' _is a classic."

I snorted at him. "Yeah, if you're into the whole Disco thing." I looked around the floor for more incriminating records. There were many. It looked like he collected records just to collect them. "I don't think we are going to agree on anything here."

"Do you have any songs on your phone?"

My eyes widened at the thought. "Yes."

He reached out his hand. "Well, let me see it."

"No!"

He cocked his head to the side, a smile playing on his beautiful lips. "But, you're getting to see my collection, I should at least be able to see yours."

"Going through a person's playlist is highly personal," I informed him.

"I know. Turnabout is fair play."

Fair? Hardly! "Fine," I huffed, moving to retrieve my phone from my pocket. He took it and just started eyeing it as if he always had the right to do so. I watched nervously. I had an eclectic taste in music. Everything was on phone. Country, Rap, Rock 'n Roll… all the classics.

He looked at my phone intently. "Hmmm."

"What?" This was killing me. I felt like he was getting a peek a something very intimate.

"60's, 70's, 80's, classic rock," he mumbled as he kept scrolling. "Angry chick music, angry chick music… Green Day?" He asked looking up at me in disbelief. I shrugged and he laughed. "I don't think I've ever seen Otis Redding and Green Day so close together before."

He touched a button on my phone and sat up, hooking it into his stereo. An instant later, Otis's voice rose to meet my ears. "These Arms of Mine," playing softly through the room.

Standing, he reached down for me. "Dance with me?"

My heart plunged out of my body at his sweet, sexy voice. How could I say no? I felt like Baby in _Dirty Dancing, _when Johnny, a guy from the wrong side of the tracks, asks her for a dance that was both vulnerable and raw.

I don't even remember how I got to my feet. I just remember Jake pulling me to him as close as possible, reaching for my hand and moving me slowly from side to side.

His scent overwhelmed me! It was intoxicating. I couldn't even stop myself from burying my head in his chest and relaxing against him. Even though my heart banged in my chest as I listened to the intimate lyrics, I still felt calm. I was starting to realize that the butterflies and my heartbeat were closely related and solely depended on him.

Holding one of my hands to his, he placed it against his chest and started humming the song as he gently moved me, his beautiful, rough voice barely making its way to my ears.

I felt like I was dreaming. Didn't this stuff only happen in the movies?

Just as the song neared to an end, Jake pulled back and looked down at me, his eyes smoky, soft, and passionately wild. It looked as if he wanted to say the words with Otis. The lyrics drifted over me as we just stared at one another. "C'mon baby… just be my little woman… just be my lover… Oh, I need me somebody… to treat me right. Oh, I need your arms… lovin' arms to ho-ld me tight… and I need your tender lips."

Oh. My. God! Did he had any idea what he was doing to me? My body buzzed and screamed at me to do something about the way it felt. I was excited, scared, anxious, hot and bothered….

Hearing Otis' voice slowly dissolve into the background, Jake lowered… slowly.

_SCREW SLOW!_

For the first time in my life, I pushed a man against the wall and took over. I didn't wait for the surprise on his face to waver as I jumped him. Standing on the very tips of my toes, I jerked his shirt down to bring him to my lips. He let me lead the moment, giving into my kiss that was charged with need and demand and intermingled with the amazing taste of beer on his tongue. My hands ran greedily over his chest, grabbing at his shirt with my incessant fingers; prodding the resilient muscles that lay underneath.

I could barely stand still enough to keep kissing him, there was so much pent up energy flowing through each of my limbs. I pulled back to catch my breath and to try to let my brain make sense of my body.

Seeing the pulse in his neck beat thickly, I instantly remembered my vow. I ducked underneath his chin and pulled him to my lips once again. He leaned his head back, giving me all the access I wanted. I licked and sucked his salty, heated skin, fighting the urge to nip at where I felt the life beat through him.

His coarse groan echoed in my ears as I dragged my lips over his throat. Soon his nature took over and he turned me and pressed me into the wall near the front door hard enough to take control but gentle enough to make me want to beg for more. Grabbing my wrists brought them up above my head and held them there as he possessed my mouth with deep, long strokes of his tongue. Heat bursted through my veins and threatened to overwhelm me while I was being dominated by his control.

I was panting when he ended the kiss and began trailing his lips and tongue down my neck. His tongue stroked over my oversensitive skin, messaging and sucking me into a frenzy. I wanted to claw at his shirt or hold onto his hair, but I was trussed up by his hands binding me to the wall. While my heart stuttered against my ribs, the resident butterflies in my tummy began flying around, their wings glowing bright red from the embers growing in my body. Every muscle below my waist clenched in anticipation, my unseen flesh becoming wet and ready for him. Dear God, what was this man doing to me? My legs felt like running a marathon just to create enough friction to ease the growing ache forming below my belly. When Jake pulled back and looked down at me, his jaw was clenched, but not in anger this time. No. This time it was from pure, unadulterated hunger.

Two words: Take me…That's all I would have to say and my body would never be the same again.

"Do you have any idea how badly I want you?" He asked, raking his teeth along my chin. I shuddered against him, my heat thumping so loudly that my ears hummed. That was the hottest thing I've ever heard in my life. "Do you?" He asked again.

I couldn't answer. I don't even think I could keep my heart beating if it wasn't involuntary.

"Do you know what you were doing to me when you were sitting on my lap?" His husky voice draped over my body like melted honey: hot and sweet. When I felt the pressure of his hands gliding up my inner thigh, headed straight for the ache, I thought I was about to die at any moment. "Rubbing your —"

"No!" Bailey's voice broke through the moment like an ice cold bucket of water. Jake and I both froze. "Get off of me! I said, NO!" She yelled again.

For the second time tonight, I didn't remember how I got somewhere. I didn't remember pushing Jake off of me or running down the hall. When I realized what I was doing, I was already busting through the door I heard Bailey screaming from.

Paul was lying on the bed shirtless and Bailey was scrambling away from him, adjusting her shirt as she stood, shaking with anger. Paul raised fluidly off the bed and started toward my best friend. I don't even know what came over me. Without meaning to, I ran at him and pushed with everything I had in me.

"Don't you fucking touch her!" I yelled, watching him barely loose his footing enough to fall into a sitting position on the bed.

Paul was instantly furious, but I didn't care. I stood in front of him, blocking his way to Bailey. I didn't care what he had done, if she said no- he wasn't going to lay one fucking finger on her.

"Bailey, listen,"

"NO! How dare you! Don't you ever fucking touch me again," she shouted behind me.

When Paul stood, I blocked him again. Knowing Bailey had already fled, Paul quickly darted around me but stopped a few steps later, Jake standing menacingly in the door frame.

"What did you do?" Jake's voice had lost all warmth again; so much so that a chill raked over my body hearing the swift change in him.

"Nothing. I didn't do anything."

"Then why was she—"

"Because she found some chick's panties under my pillow" Paul cut through, trying to find a way around Jacob. Yeah… that wasn't going to happen. "Bailey, please!" Paul called after her.

My eyes shut harshly feeling an overwhelming, empathetic pain for my best friend. I pushed past Paul and slithered through the tiny opening Jake gave me to get by.

"I'll call you tomorrow," he said just as I reached the front door. I nodded, unable to answer him while I watched him offer stern comfort to his defeated roommate.

By the time I reached the car, I felt like an odd sense of déjà vu from the previous night. This time, however, Bailey was the one in the passenger seat fuming.

I got into the driver's side and took no time at all to do the same thing she did for me last night… I got her the hell out of there.


	10. Chapter 10: Tension

**Hey guys. Here's the new chapter. I hope you enjoy it! I've got mid-terms coming up, so this story is gonna take the back seat for a minute or two. Please be patient with me. I love writing and I wish I had more time to donate to my favorite , if you haven't noticed lately the FANFIC website has been malfunctioning. This chapter has been done for about a week or so and I've been trying to upload and failing as well as not getting posting , for my brief lapse in updating- enjoy an extra long chapter!**

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Chapter 10

Tension

"Will she at least talk to me," Paul's voice was tinged with sadness and regret.

I turned to look at Bay who was giving a great performance, studiously pretending not to listen to the conversation as she kept her eyes plastered on a textbook.

I sighed, "Look, Paul, it's been over a week. I think it's time to give this up."

"No!" He sounded panicked, which confused me a little. Why would he sound so… desperate? "I need to—" he yelled before taking a calming breath. "I need to talk to her. I need to explain…"

"She's barely speaking to me right now and I'm getting tired of you calling my cell phone every two hours. The answer was no last week, and it's been no every day since; so, please quit calling me."

His silence was as deafening as his shouting. At that moment, I felt for Paul. I could feel him lose hope. It had been almost two weeks since Bay had stormed out of his bedroom. I had pieced most of the pieces together, but my best friend wasn't talking about that night… and that was very much unlike her.

Since that night, Paul was constantly calling me because Bailey refused to speak to him. I wished the guy could take a hint. One night, after five back to back calls and texts, I lost my temper at work and called Jacob to make his roommate back off. It was getting to be too much. I was seriously confused by everything; Paul's reaction to my roommate confounding me the most.

What was even more disheartening was the distance that was growing between me and Jake. Obviously— we were having to pick sides and I was choosing my best friend's and so was he. I even cancelled our second attempt at a first date. Jake and I had managed to sneak in some time together, but we barely had minutes to catch up. I was starting to miss him… a lot, which also had me a bit worried. I never told Bailey why I had canceled the date. The main reason was—I felt that things were unresolved and unsettling. Honestly, I didn't know quite how to be around Paul without feeling uncomfortable or like I was betraying my best friend; however, it left me feeling uneasy about my own relationship. Would Jacob stray during our distance?

_Why wouldn't he? He could have his pick of less complicated women that were more than willing to please! _I frowned at my negative thoughts.

"Would you… would you give her a message for me?"

"I don't—"

"Ness," Paul cut me off before I could decline. "Please. I'm begging you!"

I huffed into the receiver like I was annoyed, but honestly, my heart felt for the guy. "Fine, what is it?"

"Tell her that, I am sorry. What happened, what she found, that was before her, honest! And that I'm so sorry. If I could go back…" He went silent.

I felt my brow lower at the sudden emotion in his voice. Paul was still continuing to baffle me. Why did he care so much? It had always been my understanding that their relationship was more of a… casual arrangement.

"Okay, I will tell her… under one condition."

"Anything."

"Please quit calling me."

"I…" he struggled with the right words for a minute. "Fine… I won't call you, but only if you promise to tell her that."

"I promise," I said, quickly hanging up the phone before he made me agree to anything else. There was just something about a begging man that I couldn't turn down. In fact, it was very difficult for me to turn anyone down. I was not a fan of the word "no;" even though my brain screamed it from the inside. I just hated disappointing people.

I turned from my laptop and scooted out my desk chair, settling my glance on Bay.

"Nope," she shook her head, highlighting something in her book with a neon, pink marker. "I don't want to hear it."

"But—"

"NO!" She yelled. For a second, I had to remember that her anger wasn't really directed at me. "I don't want to hear anything _he _has to say to me."

I sauntered over to the edge of her bed and ran my fingers lightly along her footboard anxiously. "I know but I told him—"Bailey's piercing blue gaze stopped any words that were going to surface. If I hadn't known any better, I wouldn't have been able to see the hurt beyond the anger in the cornflower depths of her eyes.

I walked around and sat on her bed, dragging her textbook out of her reach. It was time. We needed to talk about this, especially if I wanted to see Jake ever again.

"I promised him I would tell you something—"

"But_** I**_ didn't promise anything," she said crossing her arms over her chest, a clearly defensive, clearly aggravated Bailey move.

"Bay please don't make me out to be a liar. You need to talk about this anyways. You've barely spoken three words to me for two weeks."

"I talk to you at work," she made a weak argument.

I narrowed my eyes at her, "That's not the same and you know it. You've been different. What happened?"

She quickly averted my questioning. "Fine, what did he want to tell me?"

I wasn't immune to her distraction techniques, but played along anyways. "He said that he was sorry and that what you found… well, that was all before you."

She snorted her disagreement. "Liar," she muttered under her breath. "Is that all?" I nodded. "Alright, then can I please go back to studying?"

I pulled her book into my lap, clearly out of her reach. "Not until you tell me what happened."

She let out an exaggerated noise and looked up at the ceiling. When she realized I wasn't giving up, she relented… finally. "Are you sure you want to know this?"

"Yes," I smiled before adding teasingly, "I kind of miss my best friend annoying the crap out of me."

She didn't respond to my jest, but conceded once again. "Fine," she took a deep breath and fixed her gaze on the soft colored patterns of her rag quilt. "That night… a few weeks ago. Well, we were on his bed kissing, you know?" she asked rhetorically. I nodded my encouragement for her to keep going but her eyes never lifted from the bed. "Things were getting… heated, and we were moving around when I see something out of the corner of my eye. Once I realized what it was, I pushed for Paul to get off of me, but he trapped me in and tried to kiss me, which, only made me angrier… and a bit frightened," she admitted, her cheeks flushing slightly. "Well, I cursed at him and brought up the skanky, red thongs that _apparently_ he didn't see… and then, you know what he said to me?"

I shook my head, completely enthralled, "No, what?"

Her voice rose a few levels, "He said, and I quote, 'Calm down, Allison!'"

"What?" I asked, confused. Surely I hadn't heard right.

"Right?!" She yelled, "I mean, who the fuck is Allison? Of course, I only became angrier. Then, he pinned me down, which, again, frightened me." The thought of him forcing himself on her almost enraged me. She noticed and attempted to amend her statement. "He doesn't scare me like that… just his strength. I don't think he'd ever hurt me or force me to do anything, but he's just so damn strong that it took me by surprise. Then… what he said next was the last nail in that coffin." She shook her head, the disbelieving memory still causing her distress. "He said—that before the night was over he'd fuck me so hard I'd forget my name anyways, so why did it matter?"

In a rush of anger, I stood from the bed. "He said what?!" I yelled, not believing it myself. "And you let him live?!" I stated more than asked. I walked over to Bailey's desk as she continued to speak, anger surging through my veins.

"I know. That's why I didn't want to talk about this with you. I know you'd get upset and I don't want to think about him ever again. I just want to forget. I know we weren't… exclusive or anything but my name matters. I matter," she said a little sadly.

I barely heard the words I was so angry. When I finally found what I was looking for on the floor, I dashed to my side of the room to grab my purse.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you think I'm doing?" I asked, headed for the exit.

Bailey leapt from the bed immediately, her purple flannelled pajama pants almost tripping her. "Don't say you're going over there!"

I stopped on my way to the door. "Bailey, don't you dare stop me from doing this!" I pointed at her. "You're the only person in my entire life—excluding my parents— that has ever stuck up for me when I didn't have the courage to. I will be damned if a man is going use his strength against you and make you feel worthless, when he was in the wrong, and have the nerve to call me every two hours and ask me to talk to you about it!" Fury was boiling in my veins. I felt like I was overreacting a bit, but I didn't care. "You know I actually felt sorry for him?" I asked, putting my hand on the doorknob. "Look, you can either stay here or come with me… it's your choice. Either way, he's going to get an earful from me tonight."

Five minutes later, I was beginning to regret my sudden adrenaline rush brought on by anger. I had some time to cool down on the ride there, just barely running a few annoying stop signs and almost hitting the night guard for the girl's dormitories. For a second, just almost a second, I thought about hitting the jackass that gave me and Bay a hard time at Jake's concert as he cockily gave me a stern look from his security stamped golf cart. But, he was only a slight diversion as I had more pressing things to consider. Like, how was I going to stand up to a man like Paul? He was almost as large as Jake and a bit intimidating when he was angry. After a few seconds of deliberation I decided I was going to need backup. I grabbed my phone and quickly touched the contacts button before selecting a name.

"Hey you," his voice reached out to me through the phone. His sultry tone was swoon worthy and it forced me to pay better attention to the road. I shifted in my seat. I missed him more than I thought.

_Get your thoughts straight- you're going over there for Bailey! Not to see him!_

"Hey," I greeted, trying not to let my feelings with Paul surface.

"What's wrong?" He seemed to notice anyway.

"I'm on my way to your place."

"When?"

"Now."

"Now?" he repeated, sounding pleased by the information. "And you are upset at that because?"

I sighed. "Because I'm not coming there to see you."

He waited a minute, absorbing the information before guessing the reason "Is he _still _calling you? You want me to talk to him again?"

"No, I can handle it… I think. I just wanted to give you a heads up that I was coming over. Can you keep him there for me?"

"Uh… Sure," he agreed hesitantly. I imagined that I would also be cautious to do something against my roommate as well, so I didn't push the subject further. I wanted to say something else, but I didn't know how to get it out. So, I took a deep breath and went for it.

"I— uh… I miss you." His responding silence spoke volumes. The quietness that found its way to my ear ate at me as I looked down at the phone to make sure we were still connected. Yep… we were. Damn—I said something like this much too soon. It's freaked him out. Great, I was back to being stupid around him. I thought it had worn off. "I'll see you when I get there," I scrambled to get the words out before I hung up. I barely heard his voice call out to me, but it was too late, the phone was already off in my hand.

By the time I pulled into their driveway, I already had my argument with Paul planned out in my head; however, when I saw Jacob waiting with the door open for me, all thoughts flew from my brain. He was a sight for sore eyes—literally. It only made me realize how ordinary I looked in my black flats, my dark, distressed jeans, and fitted purple cami. Apparently, I hadn't planned this out.

My "I miss you" slip was tethered to my leg as I walked up to him. I couldn't help but get the feeling he was going to make it weird. I could say that I hadn't meant the words, but it would be a lie. I did miss him, and seeing him only made it more noticeable.

"Hey—" I greeted as I stepped across the threshold. Before I could awkwardly move past him, he grabbed me and covered my mouth with his. I froze in his embrace, stunned by the sudden action. The strength of his arms grew harsher around me as my knees almost buckled. When he pulled away, I was breathless.

His hands cupped against my face and he traced over my features lightly, running his thumbs across my eyebrows and down my nose, over my chin and jaw and back up.

Kissing me lightly once more, he said, "I miss you, too." I smiled up at him, derailed by all the different emotions struggling inside of me. I had to deal with this Paul thing so I could refocus on this man… this dangerously, beautiful man.

"Hold that thought," I said, holding up a finger and turning towards the hallway that led to all the bedrooms.

"He's in his room," he said, closing the door behind me.

I nodded at Jacob, unable to look at him again for fear of being sidetracked once more. I walked up to the door I barged through two weeks ago and paused for a moment, willing myself to see this through. Then, I knocked… loudly.

Paul was there within a second. He saw me, frowned, and then moved over me to look out into the hall.

"She's not here," I told him stonily, guessing that he was looking for Bay. "I need to talk to you."

"Did she send a message through you?" He asked, his voice hopeful.

"No," I snarled at him. "Unlike you, if she's got something to say, she's not going to send a message through someone else!"

Paul took a few steps back and looked me over, finally noticing my angry presence. He crossed his arms in a way that reminded me very much of Bailey.

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Well, I have a few things to say to you since she doesn't." I took a few steps forward, a thrill shooting through me when he took a few steps back. I was fully aware of Jake behind me; but, I just chose to believe that Paul felt intimated by me alone. "She just told me what you did to her! Did you really think you could get away with it? Did you think you could treat a woman like she's nothing, use your strength against her and make her feel like she's dispensable to you? And then you actually have the nerve to call me every few hours and beg me to talk to her for you! You've got some major fucking balls, do you know that?"

"That's not—"

"I'm not done," my voice grew a little braver, though my hands were shaking as I saw the anger flicker in his eyes. The tingly warmth against my back let me know Jake was close, so I kept going. "If you ever, and I mean ever, look at her, talk to her, or even fucking think about her again, I will come over here and personally see to it that you will never be able to please another woman with anything below your waist. As a matter of fact, that goes for me too. Don't you ever call me again. I don't want to even hear you speak my name, do you got me?"

Where in the hell had I gone and who in the hell had taken over my body? I had never said anything like this in my life! My heart betrayed my outward confidence, crashing against my ribs and causing a humming sensation in my ears brought by the blood rushing to my head.

"No, I don't got you!" Paul yelled back menacingly, triggering my reaction in taking a step back "This isn't… I was… I need a chance to explain myself, damn it! You know what? Fuck this!" He shouted, unable to get any words out as he became louder and took a step towards me, his angry gaze making me regret every single word I had said in a split second.

Jake noticed the look as well and was quick to move me behind him, holding out a warning hand to his friend. I peeked around Jake to see Paul, the feeling in my gut telling me that I was so stupid and rash in my hurtful, demanding words… and to run like a banshee for the exit!

"Renes—Nes—God, whatever your name is— how fucking dare you come in here and," Paul began, moving his head back and forth around his roommate, trying to see me or talk to me, I wasn't sure. His tone was… off. Like, it didn't even belong to him. He was pissed, obviously, but he had an uneasy stillness about him that built the tension up around the room. It scared the shit out of me. Everything had escalated so quickly. What had I done?

_Apparently released the freaking Kraken!_

"Jake, damn it! Move," Paul took a step closer and grabbed my wrist. I winced and pulled back but it was no use, he was clearly more stronger than I.

"No," Jake bit out calmly, jerking my hand out of Paul's controlled grasp. "Paul. You need to sit the fuck down. Now!"

"No. I need to fucking explain myself!" Paul yelled hitting his chest with his forefinger, coming closer and side stepping Jacob completely. Oh shit!

Dread swarmed me instantly. I had about a second of a clear vision of the man that I had just, rather stupidly, yelled at less than five minutes ago. But, that vision swirled as Jake moved us quickly, much more quickly than a man his size should allow. He brought me further behind him and up against a wall. One of his arms was back, fixed against my hip in protection and the other was still jutted out towards Paul, ready for whatever movement came next.

"Back. The. Fuck. Off." Jake's words were slow and strained. The anger and contempt mixed with Jacob's solid reasoning made my spine straighten as I felt each one of his back muscles grow rigidly tense against my front.

I couldn't see what was happening and it made me even more anxious. For several deep breaths all I could do was just listen, guessing that both men were in a stare down with a shared communication that expressed how this wouldn't end well.

Finally, Paul growled with frustration and sagged against his bed, dropping heavily onto it. Jake's protective stance also lowered after a moment, allowing me to take another peek. I grabbed onto the back of Jake's black tee with both of my fists and leaned to one side.

Seeing Paul on his bed, his head buried in hands with his elbows rested on his knees wasn't what I was expecting to see. I chewed nervously on my lip, watching him for another second, wondering what I needed to do to fix this. On one hand, the jerk deserved it! On the other hand…

"I fucked up okay?" Paul's voice was pained. His voice had lowered considerably. I stepped to Jacob's side and waited a second before I took another step closer. Paul looked up at me, his eyes sincere. I was rooted to the floor by the sight. "I saw the look on her face and I knew I had fucked up and my… my stupid ass ego took over and I tried to say…" He searched for the right words. "I tried to turn it into something else." He kept explaining. "I saw the underwear and I knew whose they were. They've been there for weeks. I don't clean my room!" He said, gesturing around to his very messy space. "Alison's name… it just… it just popped into my head and out of my mouth," he stammered, trying to expound all the details.

"But that still didn't give you the right to treat her like her name doesn't matter to you. Like her only purpose in life is to please you and get the hell out of the way," I said before I thought better of it. Luckily I kept my tone low but meaningful. Jake took a step closer to me.

Paul looked down at the floor. "If I could just talk to her," he mumbled almost incoherently. He looked defeated and sick to his stomach. He looked a hell of a lot worse than I had imagined in my head on the drive over. And he wasn't even trying to defend his actions anymore. He was fessing up.

Instantly the realization of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks. There was only one reason he would be this passionate and look this beaten.

I walked over to him and stood directly in front of him, Jake on my heels the entire way. "Paul I need you to be real honest with me right now or you will never see her ever again." His gaze rose to meet mine once more. I took a deep breath. "Are you screwing this up because you have feelings for her and you're afraid to lose her…so you fucked it up first so she doesn't end up breaking your heart?"

The emotion that floated over his face said it all for him. I took a step back barely believing it. I knew they had been gotten close, but I didn't know his feeling for her could be this strong so soon. It was normally the way things went with my best friend, unfortunately. Guys usually fell for her quickly. It took her a bit longer to reciprocate their feelings. I always looked at Paul like he was a bit different, though. I thought he was more like Jake; especially the past he had with a line of women that normally came with the territory for musicians. Now, putting all the pieces together, I realized that he was hooked.

I sat on the bed beside him, my feelings towards him softening a bit. The tension in the room was almost non-existent. "Since when?" I asked, wanting to know when he figured it out.

"The first night I met her," he admitted gently. I was grateful for the calmness that settled around the room. "I've never fallen asleep with a girl before," he opened up with a bit more. "I couldn't believe it. I woke up the next morning, wrapped around her like my life damn well depended on it. Now, I can't get her out of my fucking head. This is crazy!" He stood and began pacing the length of his bed. He turned towards the wall. For a second, he looked so upset that I thought he was going to punch it. When he looked back at me, his eyes were so sad that I actually felt for him... again. "She'll never look at me again, will she?"

"Yes," a familiar voice floated around the room. Paul froze, his eyes on my face but not seeing me at all. I saw Jake move out of the way before Bailey came into my view, standing right behind Paul. I watcher her, wondering when she decided to leave the car and how much she heard of the conversation.

Paul turned around but kept his distance, like he would spook a frightened horse if he moved too quickly. "Bay," he whispered. "Uh… how… uhm… How much did you hear?"

Bailey looked at Jake then at me. I knew what she wanted. I stood from the bed, skirting the couple as I walked towards the door.

Jake gazed at Paul for a minute, only then did he feel that it was safe enough to leave them alone. Paul's eyes didn't move from Bay's as I closed the door and left them to it. I just hoped he wouldn't hurt her anymore… emotionally or physically. The guy was a hot head and I just got a taste of that tonight. I wasn't so sure that I felt comfortable leaving him alone with my best friend.

When I found myself alone in the hall, I went looking for Jake. I found him in the kitchen, his hands splayed out against the cold, dark granite counter tops, an open bottle of liquor and an empty shot glass close to him while he looked out the window behind his kitchen sink.

"You okay?"

His head dropped at the sound of my voice. He looked down at the bottle and waited a breath before helping himself to another shot. An eerie feeling crept down my back. I didn't like seeing him like this and I couldn't help but feel like I was the cause of it.

"Jake—"

"I just," he snapped before lowered his voice and adding. "Need a minute."

"O-kay," I started at his words. "Did I—do something?"

He sighed and turned around, his eyes blazingly hazardous. I took a step back, the hair on the back of my neck standing up. Jake's eyes instantly darted to my feet, noticing my retreat. I watched him, my heart in my throat as he closed his eyes for a long moment and took a deep breath. When he reopened them, they were less fierce, but still alarmingly beautiful. What was with me tonight? I thought I was doing the right thing by standing up for my friend but now I felt like I was just pissing everyone off. Obviously, this is why I never stood up to anyone. Of course, when I finally have the courage to defend someone it was against a man three times my size with a temper of an angry dragon.

"It's not you… exactly." Jake explained cryptically.

"Exactly?" What was that supposed to mean?

"Paul is easy to piss off, so that part wasn't your fault. But you don't just talk to someone like that and expect them to take it," he warned me. "Do you know what you could have caused tonight by your words?"

"What do you mean?" I asked quietly, my voice a little shaky.

"Paul's my roommate, Ness and we nearly got in a fight! Do you have any idea how close I came to wrapping my hands around his throat and…" His voice grew angrier and I felt my heart quicken as my mouth fell open. "When he came at you… when he… grabbed you," he hissed pounded a fist against the counter. "I nearly lost it. And it's not just a roommate I'd be losing either if it would have escalated. He's in my band. I know it's hard for you to understand, but that's my job. That's how I pay my bills and if lost Paul, then Seth may leave, or Jared, or Quil. Then how would I make my living?"

"I—" I stuttered for a second and took a deep breath not thinking about the consequences of my actions until now. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking about that. I was thinking of my best friend. I've never seen her like this and—"

"Well I have never seen Paul like this, but I didn't go beating down your door and yell at your roommate."

I jerked back at his loud tone as if he slapped me. Instead of getting angry, I felt foolish… for one second. "Jacob, I'm sorry that I created friction between you and your roommate slash bandmate, but that doesn't excuse what he did to my best friend. She was going to let it go and I'll be damned if I was going to do the same thing. She didn't deserve that," a thought hit me and I wasn't afraid to mention it. "What if he did that to your sisters? Would you be so quick to defend him then?"

He eyed me up and down, sending a chill over my skin. "I'm not defending him," he said carefully. "I'm just asking that in the future, and it may very well happen again, please stay out of it," he softened his voice once again and added, "please— for me."

I bit down on my lip again, trying to control my urge to defend myself and actions. In hindsight, maybe getting upset with Paul wasn't such a good idea, but how was I supposed to know he was in love with Bailey? It still didn't excuse his crude and hot headed actions to either of us.

"I'm not saying that you were completely in the wrong, either," Jake confessed. "You had a reason to be upset. But—" his voice faded off, implying so much.

"Jake, if we're being honest with one another then I need to tell you that I only regret the way things happened, not so much what I said." I admitted honestly. "Someone needed to stand up for Bailey and I owed that much to her. But, I understand where you were coming from and, in the future, I will try to respect your relationship with Paul in that regard."

"Thank you."

I nodded, not quite finished. I took a deep breath and a few steps forward. "But, if he touches her in anger again, I cannot promise you that I won't do worse."

"Neither can I," he bit out. His response threw me for a loop. I didn't know how to respond because I didn't know what he meant. Did he mean he couldn't promise what he would do to me… or Paul? I kept replaying his words over in my head, trying to discern their meaning. I was very much aware of the space growing between us in the meantime, a valley of uneasy tension surging through the room.

It was quiet for a few minutes as we just looked at each other. Finally, wanting to be free of his emotionally intense gaze, I looked back towards the hall, hearing Bailey's laughter. My anxiousness slightly ebbed away at her voice. She was okay. Paul was okay. They were okay. Jake and me… not so much.

An instant later, I was grateful when they came out of Paul's room. I turned my back on Jake, watching Paul wrap his arms tightly around my best friend from behind while they walked in sync down the hall, Bailey's smile fixed on me.

"Everything's fine," she sighed like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She locked her gaze with mine, her face becoming sweetly serious. "Thank you, Ness. Not just for sticking up…" She stopped mid-sentence, noticing the tension in the air. She gave me an arched look before gazing over at Jake. When I shook my head at her leave it alone, she continued, "Thanks for bringing me over here."

"You're welcome," I whispered shyly, looking down at the ground briefly.

Elbowing the man behind her in the ribs, she looked up at Paul over her shoulder. He looked down at her and smiled like he found the key to all of Fort Knox's gold. A breath later, he looked over at me. "Ness, I'm sorry I lost my temper with you."

"Me too," I said just as softly. Paul seemed shocked by my semblance of an apology. "And I'm sorry for threatening to castrate you."

He shrugged dismissively. "I deserved it." He looked over at his roommate before the lovesick guy also realized the distance between me and Jake. "Everything okay in here?" He asked.

"Fine," Jake and I both answered tightly. Bailey's eyes grew wider as she darted her glances between me and Jake, knowing things were off.

"How about," she began, slipping out of Paul's arms and walking up to me. She grabbed my wrist with a friendly hand and began pulling me to the front door. "We all go out and get some fresh air. Maybe go to the club or something, let off some steam."

"Since when is there fresh air in a club?" Paul said from behind us, earning him a warning look from his woman.

I stopped, very much in agreement with Paul… for once. "I don't feel like clubbing right now, Bay." I pulled out of her grasp and hugged myself, avoiding the coldness in Jacob's glance.

"Well you owe me a good night out from last time we went together," she stated matter-of-factly. "And they guys don't have to be on stage so we can all have a good time and hang out."

Okay. Time for my second excuse. "Bay, I'm not dressed to go clubbing," I gestured down toward the ordinary clothing I noticed earlier. Not to mention she was still in her flannelled pajama pants and a small pink cami that was similar to mine.

"You look hot, shut up," she said dismissively.

I looked down at myself. Hot? I highly doubted it. I looked like I crawled out of bed and threw on some jeans. Nervously fidgeting, I looked over at Jake for a second. His glance was slow to linger up from my exposed cleavage of my cami. I flushed when I realized what he was looking at. The tension between us charging with something else; but, sadly, it still wasn't a good feeling.

Unfortunately, Bailey mistook my silence as acceptance. "I got some make-up in my car and a change of clothes. I'll be right back and then we can go." And just like that we all somehow got roped into going without anyone else agreeing. Only Bailey could pull something like that off. Again, why did I even try to fight her?

It was around nine o'clock when we all crawled out of a taxi van and into the parking lot of Envy's, a popular club for students because of its quick location to campus. The club and taxi were decisions Bailey had also made. One, because Jake had already had a few shots in him and was almost irrationally in opposition to driving. Two, my roommate made it clear she wanted to drink. And, three, Paul obviously wanted to do whatever she wanted to do. I, on the other hand, just wanted to go home. And Bailey figured, since Jake and I didn't even sit near each other in the van, that I would only go home to sulk and dwell over each awful detail of the night. So, being the brilliant and all-knowing best friend that she was, she "lost" her car keys. I was tightly wedged between a rock and a hard place and now there was no designated driver except one we had to pay for.

Bailey had rifled through her backseat and put on a pair of dark, bootcut jeans and a black sequenced tank that was very flattering. She also had a pair of black kitten heeled shoes in her trunk that completed her rushed, yet expectantly incredible, ensemble; the smokey-eye make up on her lids only complimented the look. She also did my make-up and straightened my hair with the mini hair straightener that she had in her glove box. Most people kept important things in their glove box, like tire presser gauges or registration cards, not my best friend. Nope. She had a mini salon. At least she gave me the black, sequenced bolero that matched her top. It made me look like I actually planned my outfit; when just the opposite was true. I was nowhere near how awesome she looked, but at least I wouldn't be feeling self-conscious all night long.

The guys were able to get us in for free due to their frequent appearances at Envy's and the mass of people that came in just to see them play. We didn't even need to show our I.D.'s; nor did we get a stamp to alert the bartenders just how underage we were.

As soon as we entered the main room of the club Paul pulled Bailey away from my side with a slow smile and threw his arm around his girl before ushering her to the dance floor. She was glowing with happiness when she turned around and looked at me with a bright, elated smile that shined up the dark area of the club. They were officially making me sick.

I watched the happy couple weed through the almost overly-crowded dance floor. The place was unusually packed for a Wednesday night. But, now that I thought about it, this place was always busy. It was also more modern than the first club I went to— the one where I met Jake. There was a state-of-the-art D.J. station fixed on top of a tall stage. Multi-colored laser lights shooting out everywhere. Glass-like cages a little above different places on the dance floor that were occupied by more than a few recognizable, attention-seeking sorority girls. I couldn't help but flush at the sight as I looked around. The dancing was the same at both places. People were grinding into each other, dancing like they intended to procreate little versions of themselves to take over the world.

The moment I felt Jake's hand at the small of my back, I stiffened. His lips thinned into a line but he didn't remove his hand as he guided me over to a table in the back. The tension was continuing to build between us as the silence spread; especially when he, like a gentleman, pulled a chair out for me. I was a little shocked by his actions, but was already in the motion of sitting in another chair. When he thought I was rejecting his gesture, his jaw tightened against his cheek and he took the seat instead, seating himself across the table from me; as far away as possible.

It was noticeably quiet at our table. It forced me to keep my gaze shyly averted from his though my eyes narrowed at more than a few women that decided to give him the once over. When they noticed my scowl, along with the tightness of his shoulders, they managed to keep their distance. Considering there was a chasm growing between us, I was more than a little surprised.

"Do you want something to drink?" Jake asked, talking a little loudly over the music.

"No thanks," I mumbled, looking down at my lap.

"What was that?" He asked a bit louder.

I allowed myself to look at him. His beautiful, chocolaty eyes pierced into mine, holding my gaze. I shook my head so I wouldn't have to repeat myself, but tried to keep the gesture as peaceful as possible.

He nodded before kicking against the base table to lean back on just two legs of the chair. He performed the action with such ease that it appeared to be habit to him. It told me that he was comfortable here. I, without exception, was not. This just wasn't my element. Thinking back to the last time I was at a place like this, it didn't end up so well for me the next day. Although, it had brought me to him.

I was so busy watching him casually glance around that I had missed someone walking up to the table.

"Hey, Jake," A server greeted him, her very short, very shiny metallic dress hugging her tightly in all the right places. It honestly didn't leave much to the imagination. With her back to me completely, she began a conversation with Jake that I couldn't quite hear. He looked over at me, his features slightly worried before he smiled politely at something she said. When he replied, she threw her head back and laughed. Loudly. As though it were the funniest thing she ever heard. I know him lady… he's not that funny. She complimented the gesture by feeling the need to wrap her man-hands around his forearm.

I narrowed my eyes at the long, white fingers, touching my boyfriend. The bold, silver polish on her fingernails reflected the laser light bouncing everywhere. It also reflected the daggers shooting from my eyes. It was the first time I actually contemplated grabbing a woman by her hair and slamming her head into a wooden table. Repeatedly.

Jake gave her hand a friendly pat and peeled it off of his arm. He pointed to me and I heard him say my name. Man-Hands leaned closer to him, probably pretending that she hadn't heard what he said so she could shove her obvious, fake rack in his face. The metaphorical pencil under the table and in my hands snapped with my frustrating pressure.

Jacob was… _kind _enough to lean closer to the whore and repeat himself. Now I wanted a drink. A very strong one.

"Girlfriend?" Man-hands' voice carried over the loud pop music. She shot a stunned look my way.

_That's right, bitch—he's mine! _

She gave me a fake, tight smile. "Can I, uh, get you anything to drink?"

"Yes," I surprised myself by saying. "I would like a something sweet… but a little on the strong side."

"How about a White Russian?" She offered, not needing to write my order down. White Russian?

"O-kay," I agreed slowly, not wanting to look like I didn't know what she was talking about. Why would I need a Caucasian? I was seriously hoping this was a drink and not some Russian mail-order bride I was agreeing to.

"Anything else?" She asked, floating her eyes to Jacob, giving him a look that made me want to revisit the head in the table idea. I could see the lust lit up on her face as she swiped her lips with a long, skinny tongue. Jake's eyebrows rose in disbelief, if not, perhaps, even a little agitation.

"Yes," I again amazed myself by saying. Her eyes stayed on Jake. "I would also like a new server."

Her petite frame jolted in astonishment as she re-fixed her dark gaze on me. "Excuse me?"

A reserved smile pushed out onto my lips. "I said— I'd like another waitress… please" I replied as respectfully as I could manage. I was actually proud with how well that came out; though, my heart was thudding in my chest. I could feel Jacob's disbelieving eyes on my face.

She put a large hand on one of her hips, her attitude showing much more than I anticipated from someone who made most of their money on tips. "Why?"

"Because of the way you keep eye-fucking my boyfriend." It just slipped right out of mouth before I could hold it back. I clenched my jaw shut, fighting the urge to allow it fall open from the shock of what was coming out of it. Jake's chair made an audible thump as all four legs dropped heavily onto the ground. I still felt his eyes on me, but I stared at the metallic-clad whore instead. Man. What had gotten into me tonight? At least I was stepping up to someone who I could get a few good punches in.

_If you touch him again, I'm afraid I may have to rip your overly-large hands off and slap you with them. _I kept that little bit to myself.

The gasp that left her an instant later made me flush and only slightly regret my words for the second time this evening. It honestly looked as if she was really offended; but, with the way she was dressed I doubted much offended this woman.

"Katie," another female called out. Man-hands turned around towards the woman's voice. I watched with cautious eyes as another server walked up to our table. She was young, stocky, and very masculine. She had short, platinum spikey hair and a throaty voice that sounded much like a man's. "Go on around, I'll get this table."

Katie gave me a vicious look before making a hasty retreat. _That's right, keep walking! _

_Oh- what were you going to do anyways? _My subconscious interrupted my ego boost. _Teach her how to look plain? _

I kept my gaze on her disappearing figure, not wanting to meet the glance of the man sitting across from me. I would confidently have to refuse any drink from Man-Hands for the rest of my life as I was sure she would spit in whatever I ordered.

"I'm sorry about her," the raspy voiced server apologized. She was dressed in a black pant suit, making me believe that she wasn't a server at all and more of a manager. Why else would Man-Hands have let what I said go so easily? "Hey Jake," she greeted my boyfriend with an easy familiarity. "It's nice to see you on a night you're not preforming." Their acquaintance would have made me uneasy if I thought she was more into… men in general.

Jake chuckled at her, the masculine sound releasing some of the tension in my shoulders. "Hey Cass, I know. It's nice to sit back and let someone else do all the work on for a change." Jake said cockily, throwing his arms back, intertwining his fingers together before leaning his head against them.

Cass gave him a playful, mock punch to the shoulder and looked back over at me and winked to imply her teasing. "Well, don't get too comfortable. You're on Saturday night." I grinned at her joke, merely out of cordial necessity because the thought of him on stage was now dominating my thoughts. I made a vow at that moment, if we made it past the night, to watch him perform on stage this weekend. He was really something to look at when he let instinct take over and gave himself to his music. It enraptured me in every sense of the word.

Jake cleared his throat and leaned across the table. "Cass, this is Ness… my, uh, girlfriend." That earned him another shocked look from both of us. He'd never really called me that to anyone before. It made the butterflies in my belly shake the dust of their wings and ready for takeoff; but they stayed put while the virile woman looked back at me. Was it such a shock that Jake was with a girl like me?

"Hi Ness, I'm Cassie," she finally greeted with me a firm handshake. "I'm the general manager here."

"It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise. What can I get you guys to drink?"

"I'll take a Corona and she'll have a White Russian," Jake ordered for me.

"Okay, I'll be right back." She was gone as fast as she came, evaporating like the fog that filtered up from the dry-ice on the dance floor.

A few breaths later, I chanced a look at Jacob, feeling his eyes on me, smirking as if he was highly amused with something. The strain between us lightened ever so slightly.

"What?"

"Nothing… you just seemed a little jealous back there." His beautiful, crooked smile was hard to not be distracted by.

"I'm not jealous; I just thought Man-Hand's was being disrespectful by touching _and _looking at you the way she was."

He laughed once more. "Man-Hands?"

"Yes, Man-Hand's." I said, looking at the spot on his arm where she touched him. "Didn't you notice?" I splayed out my fingers as far as they would go before shuttering; not liking the image of her bear claws on his beautiful skin.

Jake just shook his head at me, his crooked grin turning into a full one, brightening up his handsomely, darkened face. "It's kind of turn on when you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous!" I urged, unable fight the inflection in my voice. He cocked a disbelieving, black brow at me. "Fine," I submitted. "Maybe I was a little jealous. Wouldn't you be if the tables were turned?" Wait… did he say "turn on?"

"No. I wouldn't," he shocked me by saying. My brows knitted together, my mouth falling open a little. He wouldn't?

Talk about mixed signals. "Oh," I whispered so softly that I know he hadn't heard me and started apprehensively playing with the salt shaker on the table. I shifted my body away from him, wondering why he was with the plain girl that was sitting in my chair. He was obviously out of my league in the appearance category and just admitting to not having feelings of jealousy if men pointed any of their affection my way. _Why was he with me_, I wondered.

He leaned further across the table and grabbed my hand, stilling it. "I wouldn't have been as nice."

I looked back down at the table, blushing and slightly wishing I could start the day over. Yes, a do-over would be very nice right about now.

Jacob sighed in resignation, the sound barely audible over the booming music. "I'm sorry about what I said back at the house. You had every right to be upset."

I took a deep breath in, feeling mildly vindicated. "Thank you, but I think you were right as well. I could have handled it better. I'm a little new to all of this."

He rubbed his thumb across my knuckles, leaving a trail of tingly warmth that spiraled down to my wrist.

"Here you go," Cassie announced dislodging my eyes and hands away from Jake. She sat down a light, cream colored drink in front of me. It was in a glass filled with ice and a tiny stir stick disrupted the chalky surface. Putting Jake's beer in front of him, Cassie quickly said her goodbyes and once again left with purposeful strides.

I watched Jacob take a swig of his beer, my eyes focusing on the cut lime in the long neck of the bottle before wandering down to the Adam's apple moving in his neck as he drank. When I looked back down at my drink, I anxiously stirred it, hearing the ice gently clank around the glass, absently wondering what was in it to make it so light in color. I hesitantly picked it up and sniffed at it guardedly. After assuming that the flavors would agree with me, I sipped from the stir stick and was pleasantly surprise by the taste.

"Do you like it?"

I looked over at Jake's, once again, amused expression. Was I that amusing to look at? Or did everything I do just look as stupid as I felt?

I exhaled lightly, feeling mercurial. "It's good," I replied, placing the glass back down on its designated napkin. "What's in it?"

He looked up at the ceiling as if the ingredients were written up there. "I think it's Vodka, Kahlua, and heavy cream. Kahlua is a coffee liqueur. There are other types you can substitute for it, but when Katie mentioned it, I thought you would like it because of the coffee and cream."

"Mmmm," I hummed my approval after learning the recipe for my new favorite drink. The coffee liqueur was delicious. Was it awful that I liked it as much as did before I was even old enough to order it for myself?

Jake slid from his chair to the one next to mine, his back now facing the dance floor. My leg nervously shook under the table as I fidgeted with the paper napkin under my drink. His energy was so captivating. Just having him near caused all the butterflies to take flight. Why was I still so nervous around him?

The more his smoldering gaze held mine, the more violent my leg shook. It stayed that way until the warmth of his palm lightly rested on my knee, putting an instant stop to the shaking. His thumb moved under the decoratively torn hole on my lower thigh, barely skimming the skin underneath. Heat shot its way up to my leg as the alcohol fluttered through my system.

He leaned over slowly, moving my hair over my shoulder in one smooth, practiced move. Putting his lips against my ear he said "Breathe." Upon his command, I let the air I hadn't been aware I was holding rush out of my lungs, knowing he was feeling the sensual goose-bumps that radiated all over— especially where his thumb was touching my oh, so warm knee. "Relax," he sighed against the sensitive flesh of my lobe. I swallowed harshly, trying to focus on slowing down my heart as his teeth grazed the lining of my ear.

One of his hands began trailing up my thigh while the other rested along the back of my chair, gently toying with the strands of my hair. I couldn't help but groan as his tongue moved down the side of my neck, drawing insanely erotic circles that had me panting with need. I closed my eyes, shutting out my surroundings as I bit down on my lip to stop all the noises that wanted to surface.

When his hand found one of mine in my lap, he pulled it, placing it on his jeaned thigh; all the while keeping his lips against my neck. His hand carefully covered mine, applying just the slightest pressure. I could feel the muscularity of his thighs, the warmth of his body, and the rough denim that I wished wasn't there. Gently nipping at the skin just above my exposed collarbone, he began moving my hand up the length of his thigh. My eyes immediately flashed open, curious to look at what was happening.

The more my hand moved up the more my pulse vibrated throughout my body. Would he stop? Would he expect me to touch him… there?

"Hey!" Bailey's loud voice made me jump. She giggled and plopped down in the chair Jake was occupying when we first sat down. "What-cha doin'?" She asked, with a look that told me she knew exactly what we _were _doing.

Jacob exhaled heavily and backed away from me, smirking at my best friend; giving her a look I hadn't quite seen before. It was a mixture of humor and aggravation and it nicely screamed "cock blocker." It was completely adorable and entirely too distracting. Bailey settled her gaze on his, mischief twinkling over her face like the colors bouncing around the walls of the night club.

He kept my hand under his, weaving his fingers through mine atop his upper thigh. I bit my bottom lip, blushing furiously at the situation and what was taking place just barely under the concealment of the table.

I spotted Paul walking carefully to our table, caring a Budweiser in one hand and a glass of wine in the other; his eyes were solely fixed on the blushed liquid in the wine glass. When he finally made it to the table, he placed the wine glass in front of Bailey and looked at it happily, like he was overjoyed that it made it to its destination safely.

Instead of sitting in the only open chair next to me, Paul stood by Bailey's side, one hand in his pocket and one clutched around the aluminum bottle of his beer. He gazed around the club casually, making me feel as though I wasn't entirely forgiven for going off on him. I would need to corner him later and talk to him. If Bailey was going to continue to see him, there didn't need to be unnecessary tension between us.

I was just beginning to figure out a way to talk one on one with Paul when Jacob tugged on the hand he was holding, dislodging my concerned gaze from Paul.

He leaned over again, lowering his voice so that only I could hear. "Paul never sits down at these places. He's used to the energy of the stage." I nodded my head at him, slightly curious as to how he knew what I was thinking, and gracious enough to alleviate my worries.

A few topics of conversations later, a new and very recognizable song blasted through the sound system of the club. I froze in my chair, knowing exactly what was about to happen.

"Oh, hell yes!" Bailey shouted, downing all of her wine at once. Setting her glass back on the table, she jumped up from her chair "This is my jam!" I gripped the arm of my chair with my free hand as she made her way over to me. "C'mon," she ordered pulling at my arm. "We're dancing!"

I had no chance to decline as Bailey and her infinite strength heaved me from my chair. Jake was all too eager to let me go. As Robin Thicke's voice trailed around me, and the words about good girls not being so good, I looked over my shoulder at my boyfriend, my trepidation prevalent on each of my features. He smiled back at me and reclined in his chair, like he was preparing to watch a good show.

Oh, no! Nu-uh. I wasn't going to be the complete and utter fool that I knew that I looked like when I danced. I pulled my arm from Bay's grasp. "Bailey you know I don't know how to dance."

"And?" She yelled over the loud beat. "God, I hate that I love this song! And who says what these people are doing is dancing anyways?" Bailey and her logic were a lethal combination to argue with.

I shouted over the increasingly loud music. "That sounds like your Philosophy class talking."

She grinned back at me and began dancing before we even made it to the foggy filled dance floor. My heart rate climbed ever so slightly. I could feel Jacob's eyes burning a hole into my back… or my backside, rather.

I watched Bailey lose herself to the annoyingly agreeable music. When she stuck her tongue out at me playfully, my obvious cue to participate, I had to laugh and began what some may call… dancing. After a few moments, I had given up on caring who was watching and let go of the tension in my body, joining in the delightful indulgence of one of Bailey's favorite pastimes.

By the time a song about getting "lucky"was sounding through the enormous room, I felt familiar hands circle around my waist. I looked down at Jacob's masculine hands on my hips, the warmth of his body melding into mine as he pulled me against him. I was a little shocked. I didn't know he danced. And just like everything else he attempted, he moved fluidly and without fault…the jerk.

I saw Paul singing his pleasure about "getting lucky" while he danced with his woman; Bailey's dancing also becoming a bit more promiscuous with her partner. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of Jacob's incredibly hard body moving against me to the beat of the catchy song.

What started out as innocent dancing gradually turned into something much more intense. Jake's hands became more determined and provocative. They began roaming over my thighs and backside, grabbing and feeling different areas, causing the butterflies living inside of me to gyrate with the thumping beat around us. I leaned my head against his chest, my legs and hips moving to accompany his skillful grinding. Three or four songs later, he was bending closer to me, his mouth at my ear, teasing me senselessly. When I felt his large, warm palm slide under my shirt and slide against my lower abdomen, my hips faltered. Feeling the edge of his thumb outlining my bellybutton, quickened my pulse; but, when I felt his fingers barely break the barrier of the top of my jeans, my heart took to a new level of beating. I gasped as the warm, wet velvet of his tongue traced my ear before gliding down my neck.

"Do you know," he breathed against the now overly sensitive skin of my ear. "How sexy you looked while I was watching you dance?" While I couldn't hear it, I felt my breath quiver out of my lips. Sexy? Me? He brought me flush against him. "I couldn't take my eyes off you." He nipped at my ear lobe, causing tiny, tingly explosions bursting through my body.

My eyes automatically opened when I felt his growing arousal press into my backside. I covered his hand with one of mine, my fingers curling into the groves of his splayed out hand on my tummy. I couldn't help but look around, curiously wondering if anyone else noticed what was happening to the man behind me. Although there were several coveting, appreciative eyes on Jake, and only a few irritated looks pointed at me, no one seemed to notice the increasing hardness pressing against me. Not that they would— because he was well hidden against my jeans. Not to mention that there were people dancing more erotically around us; but, the astonishment of his provocation was so unexpected and thrilling that I felt like I was going to get caught for doing something very bad. My heart raced on.

I drug my arm up and around his side, threading the fingers on my other hand into the sweat-dampened, silky strands of his hair. The light dusting of fog on the floor seemed to embolden me to go further. I turned my face up, my profile aligning with my shoulder. I was grateful for his immediate understanding for what I wanted. His mouth instantly covered mine; wasting no time at all to entangle our tongues and seal my lips with his.

Even though I knew people were moving around us, we stopped, becoming still as the kiss deepened and passion surged between us. It wasn't until the song drastically went from mind numbing beat to a slow, sensual song that he turned me around and pressed me up against him. His eyes, though matching the darkness of the room, glowed seductively. Hungrily. I pushed up onto the tip of my toes, circling my arms up and around his beautiful neck. I saw a bead of sweat collect and fall, trailing a line down his neck. I licked my lips, resisting the urge to taste him.

His eyes grew darker as he watched me struggle with my decision. Tucking both of his hands in my back pockets, his fingers pressed against my curves, pushing me further into him. "I want you," he admitted taking my mouth more forcefully this time. I surrendered to his kiss, no longer caring if the world was watching. He wanted me. He. Wanted. Me. I wanted to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming. This beautiful creature, who was dangerously handsome and confidently virile, wanted plain, little ol' me. A warmth flowed between my thighs and it had me clenching all the muscles below my waist in anticipation. It was like he flipped a switch on. I felt a wetness flow through my core, the butterflies tingling in my midsection, and fire lacing through my veins. If my arousal could show, it would be very obvious right now.

I was panting heavily when he pulled away. Jacob grabbed my hand and gestured something towards Paul. For the second time tonight a silent communication flowed between them before Jacob drew me eagerly off the dance floor and began heading towards the exit.

"Where are we going?"

"I called the cab an hour ago and scheduled a pick up."

I stopped, muddled by the information, but had to quickly recover myself because he was still walking. It took four of my steps for every one of his. "You did? Why?"

He stopped and turned towards me, grabbing both of my hands in his. "Because things were awkward between us and you looked uneasy. I didn't think you wanted to stay long."

I lowered my head at the incoming information, not knowing how to receive it. I had two thoughts I was battling with. The first was trying to understand if he called the cab early because he didn't want to be around me for the earlier, obvious reasons. Or, he cared enough for me to get me out of a situation he thought I was uncomfortable with. I wasn't sure which to believe.

He nudged my chin with his crooked forefinger, bringing my gaze up to his. "Is that okay?"

"I think so."

He stood there watching me for another minute, appearing to try to discern my thoughts. I wasn't going to elaborate on my worries, so I didn't say anything else. When he came to that realization, he turned once more and pulled me out of the double door entrance.

I quickly spotted the same yellow and black van that had dropped us off earlier. Jacob opened the back door and, like a gentleman, escorted me into the back seat. This time, he ducked in and sat next to me before giving the driver an address… my address.

I didn't have time to ask him why before his lips were on mine once more. Even as his tongue coaxed mine with his, my thoughts turned, once again, into worries. I pulled away, aware of the driver and his easy view of us in the rear view mirror.

"What is it?"

I looked towards the front, still conscious of the taxi driver. "What about Bailey?"

"Paul will take care of her."

"Why did you give him my address?"

Jake sighed and pulled away from me, unconsciously adjusting himself in his jeans. I couldn't fight the urge to watch him, an anxious excitement flowing through me still; though, now it was slightly altered with feelings of perplexity.

"Because Paul and Bailey are going to the condo."

My brow furrowed at his easy explanation. "And why can't we go there as well?"

He gave me a look that indicated I should already know why. Okay… I still wasn't following. He kissed my forehead. "They're going to want some… alone time."

"Oh… OH!" I blurted as the realization hit me. "But…"

Jacob grabbed my hand. "But what?"

"It's just that… boys aren't allowed in the dorms… how can we… you…"

He kissed the back of my hand, probably realizing that I wouldn't make out with him while a stranger watched.

_You didn't seem to mind when a hundred strangers were watching in the club! _My brain had to kick in and remind me.

"Let me worry about that."

The ride to the dorms was not quick enough for my liking. Jake's hands were rubbing patterns on my legs and arms, causing me to squirm in my seat. He whispered into my ear little promises, provoking the butterflies that were a constant when he was around.

When Jacob paid the cabbie and pulled me from the van, I looked around nervously for the obnoxious night guard. Luckily, he was nowhere to be seen. We quickly entered the girl's dormitories, looking around with an edgy excitement that made us look like burglars.

Jacob quickly pulled me towards the fire exit stair case. How he knew where it was was a thought I didn't want to linger on too much.

We eagerly ascended to the third floor, pausing for several needy, excited kisses before he told me to peek out into the hall to make sure it was clear. When I saw that it was, I was given further instructions.

I appeared to stroll out with a casual confidence, but inside I was freaking out! I was breaking rules… a lot of rules; both mine and the schools. I looked over my shoulder, still seeing Jake from the small window at the door of the fire exit. His heated gaze caused me to walk a little faster.

Because he wanted to ensure that I didn't get in trouble, I was to unlock and open my door and leave it nonchalantly open. If I calculated right, he would have about five or six seconds of time that he was vulnerable to getting caught.

At my door, I looked both ways down the empty hall and fumbled with the lock, my hands nervously shaking. When I disappeared into the comfort of my familiar space, I began counting, One. Two. Three. Four. Fi—. I heard Jacob's booted feet come to an abrupt halt before he cursed. My heart plummeted to the floor and began beating violently, fearing the worst.

When I peeked out from behind me door, I saw Jacob standing in front of my doorframe, looking at someone, a look of worry in his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" A familiar, feminine voice asked. The numbing fear quickly dissipated from my body. I reached for Jacob's hand and pulled him into my room. Madison stepped up to my door, her eyes widening in disbelief. Then, a wicked, knowing grin spilled across her face. "Nessie?!"

"Hey Maddy," I blushed furiously.

"I can't believe this," she gushed. "No offense, but I was beginning to think you were practicing to be a nun." I narrowed my eyes at her patronizing comment. She shrugged and gave Jake a longing look that made me almost violent. "Nice job by the way," she whispered loudly, knowing Jake could hear her and gave me a wink. "You, missy, are going to be giving me all the details about this later." She looked back over a Jacob and made an appreciative groaning noise.

"No, _missy_," I used her word back at her. "I won't!" I said slamming the door in her face. This definitely wasn't my night for being nice to people, so why start now? I was beginning to grow tired of all the women that noticed the only guy I've allowed myself to have feelings for in years. It was starting to wear on me.

I turned to find Jacob smiling at me. Then, unexpectedly he began laughing. "I totally thought we were busted."

I let out a cathartic breath, relieved as well. "You, sir, are trouble," I informed him, poking him in the chest gently.

He growled and pulled me close, encircling me with his arms. "You have no idea."

I heard the exotically, tempting challenge in his voice before I surprised both of us by saying, "Maybe I'd like to have an idea."

His eyes widened darkly and he gave me a slow, knowing smile. "How much of an idea?" he asked, lowering his lips until they were almost touching mine.

My mouth watered for his. His breath floated out across my face before he began trailing his lips along my jaw, my chin, my neck. I swallowed. Hard. "Uh… what was my question?"

His lips vibrated against my collarbone, a deep masculine laughter claiming my ears. I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling the dampness of his sweat slicked hair as I guided his lips to mine. Jake's hands drifted down to my back side and grabbed underneath my legs, lifting me effortlessly. "Wrap your legs around me."

I felt my face heat at his words, but did as he asked. He began walking; however, not towards the bed like I thought. No. Instead he was headed towards the bathroom. I pulled away from his oh, so tempting lips. "What are you taking me?"

"To the shower."

"Uhm, what?"

* * *

**I think we all know where this is headed! Let me know your thoughts!**


	11. Chapter 11: Abyss

Chapter 11

Abyss

Although Jake's lips were pressed against mine, I could feel them lift at the corners. "I said—" he began flicking on the light in the tiny, dormitory bathroom. "We're going to take a shower together."

My heartbeat faltered and then began slamming inside of my chest. "Uh.. uhm… like, naked?" I stuttered, feeling him dip to place me on the countered, vanity sink.

He unlocked my frozen arms from around his neck and pulled away, studying my features closely. "Yes, naked; how else do you take a shower?"

"But I… uhm… I've never… God it's hot in here," I began waving a hand in front of my face, the butterflies in my tummy blushing with the heat growing inside of me. Naked? I mean, I know he said he wanted me, but was I ready for all of this? Where would being naked in the shower with the most gorgeous man I had ever seen lead to? My virginity was likely to implode at the sight of his naked, bronzed skin, glistening wet and steaming with heat. Just imagining it made my thighs squeeze together.

"Well, it's about to get a hell of a lot warmer," he said with a wicked, sensual grin. His eyes smoldered in the florescent lights behind me, slowing each of my erratic thoughts.

He dipped low once more and claimed my mouth, his tongue invading and urgent. He explored every inch with slow, skillful strokes, only pulling away to allow me a much needed breath. He watched me for a moment, waiting for me to object. When no objection came from my lips, he turned toward the tiled shower that, unfortunately, had no tub. It was just a shower. A small, tiny shower. Not thinking of it before now, I realized that if we took a shower in the small space dedicated to that task, we would be touching… frequently. My breathing accelerated.

I watched as he pushed back the long, plain, pink vinyl shower curtain, the cheap, plastic rings at the top clacking against the metal rod matching the loud beat of my heart. He examined the singular knob inside the shower before adjusting it. Water sputtered out, taking a moment to loosen and warm up before it flowed down like focused rainfall.

My frightened eyes stayed glued on Jacob. He was so calm, moved with ease and determination, wiggling his long fingers in the waters stream, testing its temperature. When he was satisfied with it, he turned towards me. The look he gave me could have melted my panties off. Panties! Oh, God! What underwear was I wearing?

"You look nervous," his voice was thick and mingled with anticipation.

My bottom lip quivered. "That would, uh… be an understatement." In reaction to my voice one side of his lips picked up in a beautiful half smile. He walked up to me and placed his palms on either side of my denim-clad thighs, leaning towards me.

"We don't have to do this," he whispered, reaching up to brush the hair away from my forehead. I unconsciously inclined into his touch. "The way you were—uh— _dancing _with me back at the club, I kind of thought that you wanted to become more" he paused, considering the right word before saying. "Intimate. Was I wrong?" He smiled at me, all of his features softening into a look that made my heart race further. He was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at him.

"No," I blurted. Loudly. I flushed before amending my tone. "No, you aren't wrong. I just… I don't know if I'm ready to go… _all _the way."

His smile fell abruptly. "Do you honestly think I would just take your virginity in a shower?" In an instant he turned away from me, sounding wounded. I could see the wheels turning in his head as he thought, his brow furrowed and his eyes fixed on the floor for several breaths. "Maybe I should just turn this off and go."

Without even thinking I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled. "No!" He looked over his shoulder at me as I hopped off of the counter. "Please don't go. I was just scared. I've never done anything like this before… and I didn't think you would take my virginity in a shower, but where would being naked and wet lead to? I want to… well, you know." I flushed hearing the words filter out of my mouth. "I'm just not sure tonight is _the_ night."

He finally turned around and grabbed each of my shoulders. "If you're not ready, I'm not ready. I'm not in a rush. I just thought we could enjoy—"

"I want to," I said before he could continue. "I want to… enjoy… you." My face felt incredibly warm as I asked. "Is there a way we can enjoy one another without…" I let my voice trail off slowly, implying the words I couldn't put a name to. I was rewarded with his beautiful smile once again.

He took in a deep breath and looked for any signs of hesitance in my eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

He kissed me again, slightly groaning in a way that vibrated its way through my body. I whimpered as he pulled me against him, my breasts pushing against the plains of his incredibly sculpted muscles. Steam began filling the room, the humidity increasing to match the heat filtering its way through my system.

I felt the vapor hit my midsection before I realized what was happening. Jake pulled away from our kiss only long enough to divest me of my cami. Then, he was pressing me against the counter once more. With fumbling fingers I clutched tightly to the hem of his black tee, breaking the kiss this time to do the same. Before he could claim my mouth, I pushed against the wonderful ridges of his abdomen. I needed a minute to look at his beauty. It was ridiculously unfair that he was constantly hidden under cloth or that he was as attractive as he was. Did he have any idea? As my eyes made their way to his, I'd say yes… he had a very good idea.

He didn't spend long looking into my eyes. It was only then that I felt the need to cover my almost exposed chest.

He chuckled. "I've seen you in a bikini before."

My face reddened. "That's different."

"You get to see my naked chest."

My brow raised. "Also very different."

"Ness, if you're not ready—"

"I'm ready," I cut him off, my voice only slightly unsure. His smile increased and he shook his head, incredulous. "I am," I insisted more loudly.

I started closing my eyes slowly as he slid his hands around to my back, causing my breath to disrupt and visibly swirl the steam floating around us. He kissed the end of my nose and with deft, skilled fingers I felt my plain, white bra give way after one attempt. Each of my hands kept the bra in place, though the straps fell down my shoulders. I could feel his eyes on my naked back, burning their way to me from the reflection in the mirror behind the sink.

I could do this. I. Could. Do. This.

Jake's forefinger crooked under my chin as his thumb brushed against my bottom lip. "Look at me." My eyes flashed open, searching and finding his within the span of a trembling breath. What I saw in the russet depths of his irises made me move my hands, dropping my arms so the bra could fall unceremoniously to the floor. As long as he kept looking at me like that, I could do anything. There was passion, desire, heat, and… something else I couldn't quite name deep in his gaze.

Being ever the gentleman, he kept his regard on my face, pulling against my hips. My heart crashed against my ribs as I felt flesh swipe against bare flesh. My nipples pulled into tight crowns at the contact. If felt incredible. I bravely reached around and found his back pocket. Ducking my hand inside, I hauled him against me, dragging myself purposely up against him as I pushed up onto the tip of my toes. We both moaned at the sensual contact while I searched for his lips with my own. He met me half-way and took the lead once more, controlling our kiss before first finding and then flicking open the metal button of my jeans. I felt the zipper jaggedly move down. I realized at that moment I needed to follow his lead. I was going into this situation completely blind. I had _no_ idea what to do once I had unwrapped my gift, so I just needed to pay attention. Whatever he did to me, was what I was going to do to him.

As his tongue tangled with mine, I reached out with shaking fingers and found Jacob's belt. Three attempts later, I was finally able to find the button of his jeans and undo them with after, again, a few failed efforts. I was giggling at my inexperienced hands that were mixed with anxious excitement. The thought of seeing him naked was what drove me to continue.

In one swoop, Jake sat me on the edge of the sink once again, tugging my jeans down my wobbly legs. I was very aware of the slight bounce of my breasts, while he jerked the denim over my ankles, my flats also falling to the floor.

My skin was now a nice pink, both from my embarrassment and from the heat filling the room. I was barely coherent of my soon to be nakedness when I could see the tiny glimpse of underwear that I exposed on him. It wasn't much, but the sight of the black band embossed with the white letters of Ralph Lauren's name made me bite my lip, especially as I zeroed in on the carved V shape that led down to the hidden places of his amazing body.

I watched with hooded eyes as he bent over and unlaced his boots, chucking them to the floor along with his socks and then his jeans. When he stood back up we both were only in our underwear. My eyes avidly drifted over his tanned rippling muscles, memorizing each area as though I would never see it again. The white boxer briefs under the black band were a stark contrast to his beautiful coppery skin. My gaze moved lower. I felt the rims of my eyes grow incredibly wide as I noticed his arousal encased within his briefs.

Oh. My. God.

My jaw fell open. Obviously my Human Biology class and the poor drawings of the nude male physique couldn't have prepared me for this. With an amused look of confidence, Jake dropped once more. And then there were none. None whatsoever. Nothing. Holy shit!

I could only focus on one part of his anatomy as it was standing to attention and completely distracting from the rest of his tempting body. I swallowed. Hard. Like him. The butterflies that lived in my tummy had flown backwards from the mere shock, their mouth's gaping open in surprise.

He reached out for me. I wanted to slap his hand away and tell him to give me a minute to look, but that may have been rude. I clenched my hand into a fist, my nails biting into my skin. It was the only thing I could do to make myself not touch him. Touch… _that_.

After a few steadying breaths, I placed my hand in his. He helped me off the counter once more, and although he watched the movements of my breast, he was sure to keep a space between us this time. There was just one more thing that needed to be removed. I looked back into his eyes as he silently asked for permission. Always a gentleman… There really was no going back after this.

_You're a complete idiot! _ My brain felt the need to remind me. _Go on, you know you're going to do it anyway, might as well let a man you don't even love take your panties off and throw you in the shower!_

At the mention of the "L" word, I froze, my conscious throwing in a term that I never wanted to hear. That was a word I wanted far, far away from me. I wasn't saving myself for love. I just hadn't had sex yet because I was staying away from men in general, not because I was waiting for the right one to come along. I was not like my mom! I was not going to give up my dreams for love. Nope. Never. How 1950's is that?

_Do you actually hear yourself right now? _My thoughts seized as I felt Jake's thumbs hook around the edge of my panties, waiting; one of his eyebrows sliding up slowly, almost in challenge, almost in question. It's like he's waiting for me to back out or give in. God he was sexy. Bolstering up the courage, I nodded shyly at him, giving him his answer.

My eyes were unwavering as he slowly began moving the cloth down my thighs, his hands cupping my bare backside as he continued his descent. With each unsteady breath, I felt more and more of myself revealed. Then, again, he dropped to the floor, holding my gaze. He placed one of my hands on his shoulder for balance and I lifted one foot before moving to the other, steadying myself on his large frame as the last barrier between us was removed.

My pulse was violently beating. Ohmigod I was naked… in front of him! This was actually happening. This was actually, fucking happening. The butterflies agreed, although they were still swooning over his naked appearance.

I felt his quick, warm breath on my cleft. He's so close to it that I felt myself become wet just imagining him moving a few inches closer. In a slow, deliberate adjustment, his eyes unlocked from mine and he focused on my unseen flesh. Instead of feeling nervous or embarrassed like I thought I would, I almost convulsed as he licked his bottom lip with purpose. Maybe I should rethink this whole virgin thing. What's the difference between now and a month from now? He wanted me… and I wanted him right there— right where he was looking.

He moved an inch closer. My sex clenched and throbbed with anticipation. She's begging for it, too. I knew it was something people do and I may have imagined it on an occasion or two, but seeing him kneeling in front of me, just a few inches away, I wanted his tongue on me. I wanted to know what it felt like for him to taste me. I was only slightly disappointed when he stood back up and grabbed my hands, backing slowly towards the shower. The closer we got to it, the darker his eyes became. They've morphed from melted brown sugar to onyx. That dangerous allure of his was so dark and tempting that I almost felt like I was walking into the lion's den, willingly. A very small, very wet lion's den.

With one last step, he pulled me into the shower and underneath the hot water. I felt its spray weigh down my hair, gliding in streams along my naked body. I knew I looked a mess as I saw my "waterproof" mascara fail to do the one thing it promised, but I couldn't keep my eyes off him to care. Without looking away from me, he closed the curtain, shutting me in with the lion, my heart racing as he looked to devour me.

Somewhat restrained, I backed up so he could have some warm water too. My thoughts weren't entirely philanthropic; a huge part of me, like, around ninety-eight percent, wanted to see the ridges and valleys of his body covered in rivulets of hot, steamy water, carving its way over his unbelievable body.

My eyes drifted down as he stepped forward, seeing his erection bobbing slightly with his movements. I shook my head at it incredulously. Were all men this well-equipped? Knowing my body the way I did, surely that couldn't fit in places he intended—no, I intended—to put it… eventually. I felt my face fall at the thought and I knew he could see it, but there's no hiding my fear. Luckily, he told me he wouldn't take it any further than what I was ready for… I just hoped that when my will gave in, his wouldn't.

Jacob slowly turned me around in the shower as though I were on display. Whispering pleasing adjectives at my backside, I felt him move to retrieve something off the tiny, built-in shelf in the corner of the shower. A moment later, his hands are in my hair and the smell of Bailey's shampoo was mingling with the visible hot air around us.

I was struck with a few odd thoughts as he began washing my hair, pulling little moans of appreciation from my lips. One, getting one's hair washed was one of life's greatest pleasures. Two, even more so when the person washing your hair is naked and looked like Jake. And, three, what in the hell was I doing? When in the hell had I gotten so brave? I was standing naked— in a shower—with a man! Although my virginity is still intact, it could have easily combusted at first sight of him. Maybe I was no longer a virgin.

_You're such a freaking idiot, it's pathetic. _Ignoring my negative thoughts, I imagined if I weren't so inexperienced. Just what would we be doing? What would _he_ be doing?

He brought me back into the shower's fall and rinsed me before applying conditioner. I smiled, knowing he couldn't see me. I was enjoying the way he was caring for me. The butterflies in my tummy were feeling as though they are getting washed too, and by the first spring rain that gently kisses each soft petal of a flower, begging it to bloom and open. The experience was both gentle and warm, feeling entirely too amazing to think of anything else.

When he was done with my hair, he turned me back around and reached for a bar of soap. It's only then that I realized I didn't have a washcloth or a loofa. That meant he had to use his hands if he intending to keep washing me. My heart fluttered at the thought. The butterflies decided to flutter as well and settle in my core— my very warm, very shaky core. They were as nervous as I was. But, just like me, they were drawn in.

Rubbing the cream colored bar of soap between his hands, they began to lather, the clean, sweet smell foaming up with the bubbles. My heart was beating so hard that I could feel my limbs shake with each pulse.

"Relax," he whispered his usual sentiment to me. I'm not sure why, but it calmed me. "You're so beautiful." Before I could even react to his words, his hands were on my shoulders—a _safe _area, I presumed. All thought flew from my mind while he kneaded and rubbed the soap into my skin, his large, warm hands traveling down my arms as he washed me. Getting more lather, he moved up to my neck. I leaned my head back into the torrent of water, allowing him more access to my skin and thoroughly enjoying the rubdown. I almost forgot my nakedness… almost.

He continued down over my collarbones before stopping to grab the bar of soap once more. My eyes were wide and fixed on him. My breasts felt heavy and sensitive when he turned back towards me with foamy hands. My nipples were already drawn up, but I felt them peak even harder as he fixed his gaze on them.

In one second, I was slightly alarmed and anxious, the next, my head was thrown back and I was groaning while fire erupted inside of my veins. One of his hands was on my breast, washing and kneading gently, but the other one held the majority of my attention. It's where his mouth was. It's where his tongue was. It's where was he's sucking and pulling, elongating me in a way I never knew possible. I saw my body react to him as sparks filtered through each vein and artery, pumping harshly into my heart and spreading intensity everywhere. I could see liquid streams of water haphazardly stringing down and around his face. This was so hot. He was so hot. I could barely even imagine that this was happening.

He groaned and mumbled something about me being receptive, but I didn't understand as my brain was barely processing his words. He moved to the other breast, feeling the need to give equal attention. His tongue elicited such a reaction from me that I couldn't recognize my own voice as it shuttered out of my lips. His mouth picked up at the corners unashamedly, hearing my moans and responding to each of them in a different way.

When his teeth grazed my nipple, I cried out; unable to hold back, I clenched his biceps tightly, needing something to hang onto as my legs weakened. His chest rumbled in reply while my nails dug into his flesh. For a moment, I was worried that I hurt him, but it sounded as though it turned him on more than it angered him. He liked it rough… Did I, I wondered?

With quick, sure hands he washed over my midsection, and less quickly, my legs. Without turning me around he washed my back gently. I jerked at every single touch, realizing that there were many… _spots _on my back that were very—what was his word— oh, _receptive, _to him. There were even a few more little spots on my backside.

He continued his delicious teasing, tenderly washing over my curves without breaching any uncomfortable areas. When he got to my feet, I was beginning to fight with the urge to lie down. I was so relaxed, especially when he massaged my feet for a little while, his eyes pouring over every inch of me. Without even knowing it, his bad-boy tendencies were beginning to show. The way his eyes kept darting to my unseen places, the way his tongue licked over his lips, the way looked enigmatically up at me; he literally was sin on a stick.

When he was done with my toes, he retrieved the soap one last time and fastened his gaze with mine. I stood straight up unconsciously, grasping what his intention was. On one hand, my untouched and sensitive area was yearning for it. On the other, I was terrified what would happen next.

"Open your eyes," Jake mumbled. "I want you to watch." My mouth fell slightly open at the carnality of his words. He wanted me to watch?

There was just a slight hesitance in both of us when he asked me to move my legs further apart. After only a few seconds of deliberation, the butterflies, my curiosity, and my hormones, ruled over the virgin screaming at me to run.

That decision to make more room between my legs was the exact moment my world flung upside down. My eyes closed and my back bowed at first touch. I cried out his name incoherently, clinging tightly to his shoulders. My legs were going to fail to work, I just knew it. I could barely remain standing with his help. Pleasure coursed through my entire being before becoming solely fixated on only one area of my body. His fingers moved in-between each fold, gently washing and rubbing, provoking my hips to grind unknowingly against his hand. I needed more. Sooooo much more. I felt his fingers move around my entrance and I clenched tightly, partly out of fear, partly out of expectation. But he moved around and up, demanding once more that I watch. I opened my eyes and focused on him, feeling slightly dizzy. He continued to only wash. And when the soap had finally rinsed away, I knew he was going to leave me in my near-faint state.

"Please," I pleaded, needing something I couldn't quite name. Seeing him in front of me on his knees while he washed me so intimately was a sight I would never forget as long as I lived. And it just so happened to be the first time a man ever touched me there. I was one lucky girl.

Jake smiled and, for the second time tonight, disappointed me by standing. He hugged me tightly, pressing our wet, naked bodies together. Every inch of my skin burned for him. Each piece of flesh was sensitive and pouting for something he could give me. The first something anyone would ever give me, including myself. I knew what an orgasm was, but had never had the joy of discovering it before. I was never alone long enough to explore such avenues, not that I could even think about such things without blushing. But now that it was within reach, I was more than frustrated that I couldn't receive it.

"It's your turn," he whispered, nuzzling against my neck.

My turn? My turn to what? I felt chill-bumps graze over each part of my body as he continued his sweet assault on my neck. Within seconds I realized he wanted to wash him as well. The thought of running my hands all over him made want to return the favor. Immediately!

We bumped and slid against one another, laughter spilling out as we changed positions in the tiny shower. I pushed him backward until he was situated under the warmth of the flowing water. Grabbing the shampoo, I poured an unknown amount in my hand, unable to take my eyes off him.

One of his perfect, black eyebrows shot up, a devilish smile taking over his lips. "I think that's more than enough." I looked down at the pink, orchid smelling shampoo overflowing my hand so much that it was spilling out the sides. I flushed and smiled at him, only half embarrassed that I was too busy ogling him to notice trivial things like shampoo. All I could concentrate on was his beautiful body all glistening wet. I envied each droplet of water that trailed its way over the caverns and ridges of his carved masculinity. He was completely perfect from head to toe… even his bare feet were beautiful. Now that I've seen almost every inch of him, I could honestly say there wasn't a spot on him that wasn't attractive. Even his backside made me want to do things I was sure I'd redden to even mention.

Shaking his head at my dumbfounded expression, he pulled me close until we were touching once more. I could feel his erection hard against my belly as he lowered his head to me. My insides continued to throb, knowing what was close, knowing a release was pivotal to its existence.

I comprehended that his gaze was on my breast when the water from his head dripped down between my cleavage. I rubbed my hands together, hearing an appreciative moan come from his lips as my breast responded to my movements. He was obviously a boob man.

After spreading the liquid in my hands evenly, I started scrubbing his head. He groaned at the sensation and closed his eyes while my nails worked the orchid fluid into his scalp. "I'm going to smell like a girl," he murmured, though he didn't sound to really care either way. I giggled at him and tried to recreate the full salon experience— if there was ever a salon that took place in a shower with a naked, Greek god commanding my presence.

I sighed pensively after a few moments, not wanting to pull away from his silky locks but noticing that his hair was full of foam and running down his face and in between our bodies. It made the sensation between us more erotic. We were both soapy and slick; other parts of my body were also suffering the same, latter fate.

I finally stepped away so I could finish washing him. I began like he did, going over his shoulders, rubbing the lathered soap into his muscles, watching it wash away before I had a chance to get used to the sight. His back was as glorious to wash as his rippling torso as I turned him around. His ass even proved to be as hard and sinuous as the rest of him. I was tempted to sink my fingers into the flesh, but kept chickening out and regretting every moment I wasted not doing just that.

When I was finally finished with his legs and feet, he finally turned to face me. I was still kneeling down in front of him, my heart pounding so harshly that I could feel it thump in my neck. I ignored the annoying splashes water hitting my eyes and focused only on one part of him. I knew I had to be a million shades of red, but it couldn't be helped.

I was so curious to touch his arousal that I kept raising my hands and lowering them, my urges fighting with my inexperience. He kept his hooded gaze on me, eventually taking pity on me and began giving instructions.

"Get the soap," he ordered gently. I did as he asked and began lathering my hands together. He chuckled when he realized I wouldn't stop until he told me so. "Now put it back." My breath shuddered as I placed the soap back, hearing it miss the shelf and clamber down onto the tiled floor near my feet. Jake didn't laugh at my mishap this time; instead, he kept his dangerously heated gaze on me. "Give me your hands," he insisted, reaching out for me. I gave him my shaky hands and stayed perfectly still as he brought them around his erection. As soon as my grip fastened around him, a rush of air hissed from his lips causing my own breath to do the same. My gaze floated up to meet his right before his eyes clenched shut, like he'd been waiting a lifetime for this moment. I knew the feeling.

Gingerly, he began coaching me, moving my hands up and down his member. I was so captivated by the new sensations of him that I could barely pay attention. How steel and velvet could ever be conjoined was beyond me. He was so warm and soft that I could hardly comprehend the hardness.

I watched closely as the smooth, slippery skin from around his shaft moved with me as I tested different ways to touch him. This was crazy. I couldn't believe this was actually happening; surely I had to be dreaming. The fact that I was still naked no longer mattered.

_Ahem… no longer mattered? Really? _My brain decided to butt in, reminding me how stupid I was kneeling in front of a man—less naked than any jaybird I ever saw. Something about my virginity also floated through my mind, but I tossed it out before I could give it anymore thought. I was too entranced by what was happening in front of me to pay caution to any type of reasonable logic.

As the soap washed away from him, I grew more curious. He was darker here than on the rest of his body. I could even feel him twitch and grow harder against my palms while I rubbed over him with innocent hands.

When I began to move faster, Jake's concentration on me charged with a new tingly feeling I wasn't familiar with. His breath was rushing between his lips while his hips began moving in rhythm with my hands. I discovered then that pleasing him was almost as rewarding as the opposite.

Moments later he clamped his hands around my wrists, stilling me with his frightening speed. "Enough," he all but growled. My jaw fell open for what felt like the hundredth time tonight, his tone slightly admonishing.

"But—"

"No," he pulled me to a standing position and made me forget everything when he kissed me passionately. All too soon he pulled away and stopped the curious hand that was now reaching for him again. He placed a kiss against my pruning fingertips, lightly taking the sting out of his rejection. "I promised I wouldn't take your virginity in a shower. I realize now I should have thought this through more because I'd love nothing more than to take you right here— right now."

I froze in astonishment. "Wh-what?"

His eyes grew dangerously dark as he stalked closer to me, causing me to back up against the freezing cold tile of the wall. The lion had returned and he had me backed up in a corner. Although all the blood in my body rushed to my ears, I felt excited at the same time. My brain was wanting me to flee but my body was begging me to stay.

He placed a hand on each side of my head, trapping me in further. It was like a scene from a movie; his beautiful structure caging me in, the steam from the shower floating up around us, and the soft lights from the vanity mirror glowing around him. I could hear his breath becoming labored as he watched me. I could also see his self-control weaning little by little, his smoky gaze becoming almost wild with intent.

"Tell me to leave," he ordered roughly. "Now."

My heart picked up even more as I shook my head. "No."

He closed his eyes harshly, almost as if he was afraid I would say that two lettered word again. "Yes," he sighed, placing his forehead against mine, his lips barely an inch away. "Please."

"No," I panted out, my hips moving out of their own volition towards him. His jaw immediately tightened. I reached around to his back and pulled him flush against me, tilting my head up to kiss him. I felt his flouting restraint coiled in each muscle of his body. He was on a visible edge and I wanted to test his boundaries with my own. When I sealed his lips with mine, he groaned so loudly that it shook through me. Everything below my waist caught fire, responding to every part of him. His tongue was almost punishing and rough, but it was a kiss that I welcomed with a desiring need.

I softened under him and he noticed that instinct had taken over my being. He pulled up my leg and hooked it around his hip, opening me to him. I didn't even think. I just reacted, biting his bottom lip and staying in place to let him know I was ready for whatever he wanted. I felt his resolve shatter like glass, and with a rough moan, he picked me up by my hips and held me against the wall. I could feel his arousal close to my sex. Maybe another inch or two and my body would be forever changed by him alone.

I reached my arms and legs around him at the same time, encircling his body as he continued to claim each one of my senses. I felt him everywhere. I saw him everywhere. And all I could taste and hear was him.

I gasped against his lips when the tip of his thumb parted me, sliding along my flesh in a new and sensual away, quickly finding a tiny bundle of nerves that had me crying out and latching my legs more tightly around his waist. His knowledge of me and what I liked already surpassed anything I could have ever imagined. I just tried not to focus on where he got the knowledge from.

I heard myself call out to him while his thumb continued to work me over. This was too much. This wasn't enough. His mouth was moving all over me; my neck, my lips, my jaw, my ears… everywhere that he could reach.

"No," he seemed to be arguing with himself. "Damn it, I can't" he cursed. And when I thought he was going to step away and leave me strung on a rack of desire, he unhooked one of my legs and let it fall to the floor before kneeling in front of me again. The look in his eyes told me exactly what he was going to do. But, when he placed one of my flimsy legs over his shoulder and opened me up in a new way, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was about to lose myself to something incredible.

He held my gaze so intensely that I couldn't look away. An instant later, his thumb was gone, replaced only by his tongue. I heard but didn't feel my head bang against the wall. The only thing I could focus on the overwhelming sensation he was bringing me. My heart was erratic, my breath was spastic, and my hips were uncontrollably moving out their own free will. Every ounce of blood in my body felt like it was pooling and collecting on the tiny little area he was paying special attention to. I watched him with heavy lidded eyes as he licked and sucked me into a frenzy. I only faintly wondered if it was too taboo to watch your lover like this; however, it was a sight I couldn't take my eyes away from.

At some point my fingers had laced through his hair and I could hear myself fighting for breath. An ache that I had been suffering with since I started seeing Jake was gliding to a seamless edge. For the first time in my life, a completion that I had never known was in sight. Then, my world stopped. My heart even stuttered to a halt. Seconds passed before— all at once— fire erupted in my core, the butterflies sparked with flames, and the blood that had settled down into my body exploded throughout. I fell quickly over the desperate edge, erupting into the sky and into a passionate abyss that I had never known existed. Like a feather I was weightless and still. I went blind and deaf for just one split second before I came crashing back down to earth, feeling like I weighed a ton while gravity took hold and weakened me to my knees.

Jake held me against the wall, his tongue trailing down to my opening that was ridden with spasms. I gasped at the new sensation, shaking my head at the overwhelming pleasure. Now I definitely wanted to lay down. My heart beat was thumping differently than it ever had before, like a drum was banging in rhythm to the spasms.

My body could no longer hold itself up and I went limp. Jake caught me, draping my arms over his forearm and carried me out of the bathroom. He asked me something about a towel, but my mind was officially mush. He sat me down on my desk chair. I shivered at the temperature change, my bottom lip quivering, even as I slouched back. My life had just changed forever. My first orgasm had left me spent, trembling, and unable to move. How would it be when we finally consummated our relationship?

Finding a few towels in my closet, Jake wrapped one around his waist before draping one around my shoulders. With swift, certain hands he dried my body before moving to my hair. I finally started to regain my composure when I saw him walking out of the bathroom with a brush. The sight of him in a white, fluffy towel clutching tightly to his lean hips, made my sex throb again.

Again? Really? I haven't even gotten over my first orgasm yet and I was ready to go again? Well, I wasn't, but my lower half was.

Jake quirked an adorable smile at me as he caught me admiring him in only in a towel. His wet hair was sexily mussed and damp. He was amazingly beautiful. I sat up from my chair and folded the towel over my chest, securing it to my body before I reached out for the brush.

"I can get it," my voice was raspy. I tried clearing my throat, but it was raw. It felt like I had screamed really, really loud, but I don't remember screaming… wait, did I?

"Throat sore?" he asked, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

I tried clearing it once again. "Yes," I replied, my brow scrunching in confusion. "But, why?"

He stopped in front of me, sweeping my wet hair past behind my shoulders. "Honestly I'm surprised the cops haven't shown up with the way you yelled in the shower."

My legs gave out again. I plopped back down into the chair in a very unladylike way. "I did?" I couldn't even remember.

Jake lowered until we were eye level, his smile a little too proud for my liking. "Yes," he chuckled. "But, don't be embarrassed. It was fucking hot as hell." My head moved forward out of disbelief. He still had the ability to shock me with phrases like that. My eyes drifted lower, noticing his arousal pushing out the towel. I bit my lip as a brand new ache swirled through me. God! Would this ache ever go away?

He picked my chin up and leveled my gaze to his. "Was that your first?"

I tried to look down, feeling myself flush violently, but he held his hand under my chin, not allowing me to shy away. His eyes were like liquid pools of dark caramel, I couldn't look away. What did I have to feel shy about anyways? The man was just between my legs for crying out loud!

"Yes," I rasped out, my voice losing more volume. He looked entirely too pleased with himself. Little words were passed between us after that. The only noises that could be heard were the hushed sounds of our lips moving together. My hair had also been forgotten, especially when he picked me up once more and placed me on my bed, promising to give me another mind blowing orgasm. I wasn't even sure my body could handle it, but as soon as I heard the words, my body disagreed with my mind on that fact.

This time he took his time, teasing my body with his mouth. Making my breast submit to his needs, making my skin flush and shake before he even drifted below my belly button. When he finally moved my thighs apart, I was sure it would take only a flick of his finger to make my world shatter again.

Although I felt entirely too exposed while he gazed over each naked part of me, I arched against him, needing the release he promised.

He was in between my parted legs, leaning back on his heels, the towel just barely hanging on and showing that incredible V I was beginning to fantasize about. I saw his bicep flex and move before my eyes closed with the pleasure of his fingers parting me once again. My insides quivered.

"You have no idea how fucking beautiful you are, do you?" I heard him ask. "Perfect."

I couldn't answer, but if I could I'm sure I would have ruined the moment with all the negative thoughts of myself. Perfect? Hardly! But knowing he felt that way cut me to the bone with his sincerity.

"Spread your legs more," he murmured, bending over me. I shuffled until one leg was against the wall and the other was riding along the edge of my twin bed. We barely had any room, but I'd be damned if I didn't make this work.

I fought against the urge to close my legs. I was on full display and it was a little unnerving. I knew what the reward of this was now, though, and I was looking forward to having seconds.

One of his hands splayed out against my mound, his thumb quick to find the swollen bud that brought me ecstasy mere moments ago. I heard myself moan, and tried to remind my brain to not allow any more noises to come from my lips. If I screamed again, my residential advisor would bust down the door before I had time to get decent, much less hide the mountain of a man that was currently very indecent himself.

"Fuck. You're so wet," he whispered in awe just before he bent over me. I rose up and looked down in time to see his tongue dart out and lick the inner creases of my leg before moving to the other one. Knowing I was watching him, his eyes lifted to mine. He held my gaze for a long moment. I was enraptured by the sight of this gorgeous man between my naked limbs. It was sinfully erotic. As was the sight of his long, velvety tongue, glistening with wetness just before he licked up the length of my sex, separating me.

Suddenly, my breath rushed from lungs in a blissful moan I was quite certain I had never heard before come from my lips. The butterflies in my tummy rocketed down deeper, settling into my center and fluttering around his long rhythmic tongue. My eyes expanded as I watched him slowly trace each fold teasingly.

Dragging himself upward, he circled his gifted tongue around the tiny bundle of nerves that had led to my raspy throat and first climax. Without relenting to my wants, he continued to tease me in the most delightful way possible. I tried to move to guide him to the new ache, but he laid his arms across my lower half, stilling me with his hushed, restraining command. With his hands positioned at the apex of my thighs, he moved his thumbs down and pulled the skin taught. What was he doing?

I felt my sex open, the cool air swirling around the small bud of nerve endings that I knew led to a mind-altering experience. An incredibly sexy smile took over his lips as he watched me watching him. He knew what he was doing me and it made everything ten time more sexual.

Just when I thought he would continue the passionate torture, he made sure my gaze was locked on his as he finally flicked his tongue over the sensitive bud. I heard myself cry out his name as I threw myself back, unable to hold my body up as a thousand, splintering shockwaves scattered within me.

I grasped at my comforter, fisting it in my hands as he continued to work me over with his tantalizing mouth, drawing moans and whimpers out of me as though I had been made just to utter the noises. My legs involuntarily shook and I felt a quickening take hold. The ache that had been building once again finally began to ease. I could feel my body welcome an edge that was close. It walked over to the cliff and glanced down the bottomless, alluring depth.

"Oh, God," I cried out, my breathing uncontrolled and reckless. "Jake," I begged, "Please."

I felt one of his arms lift away. A second later, I could feel a long finger trace my opening. I gasped and undulated against his mouth, pleading for the edge to come closer with his touch. His finger obliged my silent request and moved inside, the ridges of my sex barely accepting him.

With skilled caresses, he stretched me with his rotating finger, quickly finding another bundle of nerves that I never knew existed inside of me. I inhaled sharply at the introduction of new sensations. It was a greeting that I knew I would never forget. Then, when I knew life couldn't get any sweeter, his tongue became more deliberate. He sucked me into his mouth, gently holding onto my aching flesh while his tongue circled and circled around my swollen flesh.

I clamped a hand over my mouth as I fell once again. My sex clenched around his finger as a slightly familiar detonation discharged inside me, setting the butterflies ablaze in its wake.

When I finally came to, I was panting so hard that my vibrating heart shook my entire being. My limbs felt insanely heavy and I had to heave in the air around me just to continue breathing.

I couldn't stop trembling as I experienced my second climax. Everything in the world suddenly made sense. This was why woman and man found each other in the garden; to come together as one—to achieve this and so much more.

"That was," I panted, searching for the words.

"Amazing? Life altering?" Jake finished my sentence with a cocky grin.

A semblance of a laugh left me. "Yes," I nodded. "That."

He sat back against his heels once more, the towel around his hips completely giving up and falling to the bed. I clenched my jaw, not wanting it to fall open again in shock at the size of his erection. If it was possible it looked harder, and it stretched up almost to his belly button.

It was time to return the favor. I stood up off the bed, chucking the towel under me to the floor as I tried to make my wobbly legs function properly.

"Lie down." I told him, my eyes not moving from his arousal. He looked down at himself and put the pieces together very quickly. The dark amber of his eyes glowed dangerously as he moved to stretch out over my bed. I watched him for a second, wondering if it would be too much to ask if I could take a picture of him with my cell phone. I wanted to capture this moment and keep it close to me forever.

I flipped my wet, long hair to one side and crawled over one of his legs before positioning myself between the gap in his legs. He crooked one arm behind him and rested his head against it, his other arm lying at his side, his hand resting on his abdomen. He was now on display; unlike me, he appeared to thoroughly enjoy it.

Again I struggled with my inexperience. What was I supposed to do with this Calvin Kline model, lazily covering most of my bed, completely at my mercy and so sinful to look at that my brain even expressed its appreciation by telling the blood in my veins to pump faster.

"You look nervous," he smirked.

"I am a little." I admitted, shifting my knees closer to him. "I just…don't know what to do."

"You were doing fine in the shower."

Oh… the shower. God that was a beautiful experience. Alone it gave me the courage to lean over him, and start kissing him. He groaned into my mouth and his hands delved in to my hair, securing me to his lips. I felt his erection pressing between our bodies as my naked breast skimmed across his chest. Oh, my how things had changed since this morning.

I broke the kiss and remembered how I told myself I would do to him whatever he did to me. So I moved to his neck, my tongue and teeth and lips, grazing over every inch as I made my way to his chest. Our bodies were so different that I had to run my hands along the resilient muscles. I lowered to his nipples, curious to see if he had the same effect as I did when he kissed me there. He held my gaze as I darted a tongue around him. With a slow movement, I shifted to the other and paid the same attention to it, growing a little more confident as I grazed my teeth over him. He gasped and his shaft jumped beneath me. I guess he liked it.

My kisses lowered over each ab, appreciating his beauty even more so up close and personal. When I got to that incredibly carved V that led to his groin, I did exactly what I had always wanted to do it. I ran my tongue down each crevice, loving how his skin dipped cleverly to his waist, like it had been made just for my mouth to worship.

Losing a little bit of my nerve I sat back up and looked down at his arousal, knowing I had come to the end of my descent. He reached down and grabbed himself, making my eyes widen to an almost painful point. Dear God!

He gripped his shaft, fisting it before moving up and down a few times. I knew my jaw was hanging open, displaying the idiot that he was turning me into. I studied him for several breaths. It was like he was showing me what he wanted me to do. Just like I thought, he grabbed my hand with his other one and fastened my fingers around his hard member. I was right, it was harder than before.

I began moving like I saw him doing, stroking him from root to tip. His hand fastened around mine once more, increasing my grip before resting on his abdomen once again, his chest rising and falling with intent. Seeing his eyes close, his jaw taught against his cheek, his breath beginning to rush out of him, and his thighs growing incredibly tense told me everything I needed to know. Seeing my effect on him, I wanted to bring him to the cliff I had plummeted over twice tonight. His dark, long lashes were fanning over the top of his cheeks as his mouth opened sensually. His brows pulled together and I grew even bolder, leaning over him as I kept stroking.

He had felt my movements and opened his eyes to watch, his body going completely still. Not having a clue what to do next, I stuck out my tongue and tested against the head of his member. A heated growl, rumbled through his chest and out his sculpted full lips. He cursed and pulled the hair that had curtained around my head, away from my face so he could have an unobstructed view.

I kept my hand moving at a steady rate, swirling my tongue around his tip before taking it into my mouth. Thankfully, I had enough sense to shield my teeth with my lips as I moved lower, my hand forgetting what its purpose was as I chartered unfamiliar territory. I heard his teeth grind together as I bobbed over him.

He encouraged my grip around him to resume its purpose and before long I had gotten the hang of what I was doing. His words, though completely erotic and seductive, were reassuring and prompted me to try new things. The spot between my thighs was exhilarated at the sight before me. It was a turn on to reciprocate; I had never anticipated I would ever have felt like this.

When I felt his entire body tighten underneath my hands, I knew he was close. His breathing had become erratic just like mine. Each of his features were on a climatic cliff. Then, immediately, he tried to pull me off him, claiming that he was at his breaking point, but I refused to not see this through to the end. With a crippling curse, his body convulsed and warmth spilled into mouth while his hips pushed his shaft deeper between my lips. I pulled back, not knowing how I felt about the salty, unusual taste of him. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea. As my eyes took in his sated state, his muscles clenching and relaxing with each fitful breath, I could've cared less. An instant later, he drug me up his body and laid me on his heaving chest, clutching me tightly against him. He kissed my forehead and whispered soft words into my ear as I felt his racing heart against my breast.

Although I felt beyond ecstatic that I brought completion to this beautiful creature, I immediately felt exhausted in the warmth of his embrace. It had been a long, eventful day and my life would never be the same because of it. I could no longer imagine my life without this every single day.

After his breathing had slowed, I begrudgingly turned my head and noted the clock. It was after three in the morning. I slowly picked myself up, my thighs feeling too shaky to make the walk to the bathroom any easier. I brushed my teeth and handed him a new one we kept under the sink. While he carried on with his business, I quickly threw on a pair of panties and a tank, delving into the depths of my drawers to find something Jake could wear… I had nothing.

He came back into the room wearing his jeans. The button of them was undone and I knew that he wasn't wearing any underwear. I made myself look away. He was too sexy for his own good… for my own good and I was literally at the edge of exhaustion.

I hated that there was an awkward silence that clung to the room. It felt weird to be out of the desired-filled haze and I was beginning to feel guilty for what had just taken place.

_Well, now you are finally making sense! You should feel guilty… _Oh, my brain was back and as reprimanding as ever. Where had it gone, anyway?

He rubbed a hand through his hair anxiously, watching me crawl under the covers and into my bed. I scooted against the wall and waited for him to join me. His mouth went from a thoughtful, thin line to a perfect smile that made my heart melt.

"I was just about to ask if I should go," he admitted, ducking under the covers with me.

"Seriously?" I felt affronted? "You would leave me after everything we just did?"

"No," He smoothed over my forehead. "Shhh," he mollified looking down into my worried face. "I usually leave, yes… but I didn't want to leave you. I just didn't know if you wanted me to stay."

I ignored his comment about "usually" leaving and allowed him to tuck me against his side. I sighed and laid my head on his chest, images of the night flashing in my mind. Even after everything, I still blushed and hid myself against his chest, his scent floating over me like a calming wave. Soon, my eyelids lowered, feeling even heavier as I felt his hands smooth over my side, running rhythmically up and down. Within seconds, I felt sleep claim us both at the same time.

**The** next morning, I heard a masculine voice lulling me from sleep. I forced it away, wanting to stay within my dream. It was such a nice dream. A dream where I was no longer a virgin and Jake had dominated ever single part of it. Now that I knew what he looked like naked, it made the dreams less hazy around his bare form.

I heard the male voice again before a throat was cleared angrily. I bolted awake, finally recognizing the voice. My eyes squinted at the unwanted light shining through my window. Then, for the second time in less than a twenty-four hour period, my world was flipped upside down.

My father was standing near my bed, his eyes alarmingly fixed on a sleeping Jacob, seeing his daughter— half-naked –lying half-way on a strange man, our legs exposed and tangled with one another.

I sat up with a gasp, causing Jake to stir awake. "Dad!" I yelled more loudly than I intended. My heart was setting a thundering pace in my chest and my stomach seemed to have fallen to the floor somewhere.

_Well… it was nice knowing you, Ness. You're officially dead! _

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**I have _Three _other chapters finished and ready to submit! _I'm waiting until_ I get your reviews to submit them, though- so let me know your thoughts! :~)**_  
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	12. Chapter 12: Parents

**Hey guys- Thank you for all your wonderful reviews. I promise I read everyone of them. I also appreciate your emails! So much- it totally makes my day! Thank you for reading this far. These next few chapter are the turning point; but, just bare with it, because it will make up for it in the end! **

**Loves,  
**

**B**

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Chapter 12

Parents

I felt Jake's eyes on me in confusion, but I refused to look at him. My father's burning green eyes were murderously angry and I feared what he may do. I could tell the second Jacob understood the situation because his entire body tightened with tension. I flushed as I remembered it doing the same thing right before he came last night.

"Get your hands off my daughter," my dad's voice seethed with irritation. He looked so intimidating that even I shied away from his fuming glare. Edward looked impeccable, as usual, wearing black trousers and a white t-shirt. A grey, high necked cardigan zipped half-way up his chest in a way that only made him appear more distinguished. His dark, copper hair was perfectly styled in his own unique way and it was only a second later that I saw my mom sitting on Bailey's bed behind him. Her mouth was covered by her slender hand and she looked as if she were so shocked her legs couldn't have bared her small weight. She was just as beautiful as my father, wearing a blue peplum dress and matching heels. Her small wrist glittered with a diamond bracelet that coordinated flawlessly with her wedding band. Her long, brown hair glowed in the sunlight. Everything about them made me want to throw the covers over my head and drown into my sheets.

My father took another step closer to the bed, his fists balled up against his sides; "Now!"

I looked back at Jake. His jaw was tight against his cheek and he slowly untangled our legs and buttoned his jeans before standing.

I could see the challenge in Jake's large frame as he gradually rose, standing several inches taller and wider than my father. I heard my mom's hand plop against her lap, her gasp registering in my ears as her mouth fell open. Jake and my father just stared at one another for a second before my brain finally kicked in and I realized what could happen if I didn't do something quick!

I grabbed a pair of pajama pants off my floor and threw them on, stumbling between my dad and my boyfriend. "What are you doing here?" I asked, trying to get my father to back up. For all intents and purposes, my dad was angry, but I could see the disappointment and shock lurking in the depths of his light colored eyes. He looked down at me, his jaw also like stone against his fare skin.

He took a few steps back and looked from me to Jake before talking through clenched teeth. "It's your birthday on Monday. We wanted to surprise you early because I have several surgeries tomorrow and on Saturday. It was the only time we could get away." Shame exploded in my chest like a bomb. I looked down at the floor, struggling with feelings of guilt and embarrassment. That meant my mother's birthday was also here and I had forgotten it completely. I'm such a shit daughter.

Jake was still very tense behind me. I fished under my pillow for his sweatshirt that I slept with every night and handed it to him. Keeping his gaze away from me, he threw it on and excused himself to the bathroom. I dropped down to my bed, my heart still racing, and buried my head in my hands.

"I'm so sorry," my voice was muffled under my hands.

"Never mind that… Are you—" My father began to ask something but thought better of it. I looked up at him and saw that my mom had finally stood and placed a warning hand against his arm, stopping him from asking me what I knew he wanted to know. He wanted to know if Jake and I were having sex. Why wouldn't he think that? If I walked in and found my daughter like he did this morning, I would have no doubt.

I'm not sure why, but I felt the need to set him straight. "No," I shook my head, imploring them to believe me. "I promise… we haven't."

_YET! _My brain wanted to add, but I held that bit back. I guess I wouldn't be going to any of my Thursday classes today, not that my brain could even concentrate at this point. My aura of ecstasy that had clung to me throughout the night for obvious reason had effectively been popped. I could even hear the faint sound of it expelling through my dorm room, hissing and bouncing around like a deflating balloon.

Even though I wouldn't have believed me, both of my parents seemed to and let out a relieved breath together. My dad began to pace my tiny room while my mother made her way to me and tucked a mangled mess of hair behind my ear. My dad was beyond pissed. I took a deep breath and pulled my gaze away from him to settle it onto my mother.

"Honey, you can imagine why we are so surprised to find a man in our daughter's bed," she sat down beside me and grabbed my hand. "He's very handsome, Renesmee, but, and forgive me for saying this, he looks a bit older and… not someone I'd ever imagine you with. We didn't even know you were seeing anyone."

"We… I…" My mouth officially quit working. I groaned. I could do this. I took in a deep breath. "We've only been dating for about a month. He's not… that much older."

"How long have you known him?"

I shrugged, not able to lie at this point. This was going to sound awful. "About a month or so;" I did not want my parents to find out like this. God, I was such an idiot!

"I thought you didn't date!" My dad spat out, reminding me of his angry presence.

"I don't— I didn't," I corrected. "I met him… and then…"

My mother patted my hand sympathetically. "I understand, honey."

"Well, I don't," my dad cut in, making me wince under his anxious glare. "We have barely heard from you in months and now I know why." I stood up, wanting to defend myself, but he kept talking. "Now don't you dare deny it, young lady. I'm so disappointed in you right now. I thought you knew better than this. I thought you were here to go to school. You didn't want a boyfriend, remember? You didn't want to date and end up like—"

"Edward," my mother's voice was admonishing. "Don't."

We all turned when Jake had the nerve to open the bathroom door once more. He struggled for a moment, looking at each of us. I guessed that he was trying to figure out if he should greet them properly or just leave. I felt a distance grow between us again and it doubled when his eyes settled on me. He looked upset and frustrated. I needed to fix this… I needed to fix so much.

I stood up and went to him, ignoring my dad's eyes burning a disbelieving hole in my back. "Jacob," I grabbed his hand and let formality take over. I didn't know what else to do. I pulled him closer to my mom; "This is my mother, Bella."

My mother stood elegantly and shook his hand, giving him an empathetic smile. "Jacob, it's nice to meet you."

Jake gave her that amazing smile of his, winning her over at once. Her eyes widened as she realized he was even more beautiful when he smiled.

"It's nice to meet you as well."

I turned towards my dad who had walked a little closer. There was a hostile tension looming around him. I knew then that he was going to shake my boyfriend's hand, but I didn't know where it would lead after that because, my dad, no matter the occasion was _always _obliging.

"Jacob," my father took control of the situation and reached out an abrupt hand that was anything but friendly. "_Doctor_ Edward Cullen." Was the doctor part really necessary, dad?

Jake swallowed harshly and looked down at my father's hand before shaking it. I could see my dad's grip tighten around Jacob's hand, turning both of their skin whiter. "Edward," Jake greeted. I closed my eyes bleakly, knowing what was coming next.

"That would be Mister Cullen to you. Do you mind telling me why you were in bed with my daughter?" Jake's eyes widened painfully.

_Holy shit! We're in for it now!_

"Edward," my mother scolded again. My dad's eyes narrowed on Jake as he gripped his hand tighter before pulling away with a commanding presence. I was completely mortified; both by what happened when my father caught me in bed with him and by what was happening right now. Poor, Jake.

Jacob obviously wasn't the type of guy that backed down from much, but I was relieved when he didn't say anything offhanded. He was being very respectful to my father; although, I could see the stiffness around his eyes. I felt like I was losing him, even though he was standing right here.

"Maybe I should get going," Jake interrupted the awkward silence while it seemed my father was waiting for an answer to his previous question. I felt my heart fall into my belly. He was leaving. Why would he stay after a scene like this? I felt the distance grow even more. I placed a hand on my tummy, trying to control the knot forming in it.

"Actually, we were just going to take Nessie out for a nice lunch and maybe a little shopping," my mother began, placing a comforting hand on Jake's arm. "Would you like to join us?"

"What?!" My father's voice deserved him several nasty glances from the two women in the room. Jake looked towards me and I nodded my approval. Anything— I'd do anything to make him stay.

_Anything? _

"Uhm," Jake looked towards my father, who didn't look happy at all by the possibility of him joining us. "Thank you for the offer, but—"

"Please," I interrupted, feeling him pulling away from me was worse than my father finding me laying on top of him, half-naked— And that was probably one of the worst experiences of my entire life! Jake's glowing brown eyes looked over me for almost longer than appropriate.

"If it's not an imposition," he began.

My mother took over before my dad could say anything. "It's not; we'd be delighted, wouldn't we, dear?" She asked my father with one very arched, very meaningful brow, daring him to disagree.

My dad gave her a look that made the air around us ten degrees cooler. "Of course… not," he finally let out through gritted teeth.

My mother was pleased with that and looked back at Jacob for a more definitive answer. "Then it would be my pleasure," Jake stated, looking right at me. "I just need to run home and get changed first. When and where should I meet you?"

"The Metropolitan Grill. One thirty."

Jake nodded at all of us before promising to meet us there. When he began walking away without even a backwards glance in my direction, I felt the knot twist and churn in my stomach. I followed him out of the door, closing it behind me so my parents couldn't hear or see anything else incriminating.

He felt me behind him and turned to lean against the wall near my door, his head falling back with an audible thud as he let out a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. I stood in front of him and wrapped my arms around his middle, hugging my head to his chest to try to dispel the distance I felt growing.

When I felt his hands pull me more tightly against him, I also let out a deep breath of my own, but for different reasons, I was sure. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't," he laid his chin on top of my head and ran a soothing hand against my back. "It's not your fault." He chuckled against me. "Some first impression, huh?"

I snorted against my favorite sweatshirt before looking up at him. "Yeah," I sighed. "But you're really coming out to eat with us right? I'm not sure I could do this alone."

He looked over my worried features for a moment, appearing thoughtful. For a brief second, I knew he was going to back out on me. Then, he shocked me by saying, "I said I would go; why do you still doubt me?" I could tell by his tone that he felt slightly wounded. "And why didn't you tell me about your birthday?"

_This was shaping out to be just a wonderful day_, I thought sarcastically.

I avoided the second question, hoping I could say something that averted his attention. "I don't doubt you. But with the way my father just treated you, I'm surprised you didn't leave me standing to face the firing squad alone."

He kissed the end of my nose. "Baby, you couldn't get rid of me if you tried; especially after last night." My face heated as my heart fluttered open at his words. He was so adorable. I had to stop myself from saying something stupid and ruin the moment with a four letter word that I never wanted to say. I lifted onto my tip-toes and kissed him far too quickly before pulling away.

"I'll meet you in an hour," I said, uncomfortable with my thoughts. That "L" word was still trampling around in my brain and I needed to get away from it. It was too soon.

He pulled on my hand and brought me back up against him before giving me a kiss that left me breathless and wanting. Then, like the panty-dropping man that he was, he left me there, steeped in my own pool of drool.

I collected myself before marching back into my room to get ready. My parents stayed silent while I hopped into the shower because there was no hope for my hair. I had to yield it back into obedience with shampoo and water.

Forty-five minutes later, I had curled my hair and put on the new, white shirt dress my parents gave me as a gift. I looked more like the daughter that had left their house almost two years ago and less like the person I had become today. I synched tight the brown leather belt in the center of the dress and donned the matching leather riding boots they had also bought me. With just a few natural touches of make-up and an adorably large bangle, I once again looked wealthy and privileged. It made the knot in stomach twist and turn. But, no matter how uncomfortable it made me, I couldn't shy away from this part of me. My family was wealthy and Jake would need to see this part of me if we're going to continue seeing one another. I couldn't hide from myself anymore. I just hoped that he'd still accept me because of it.

I grabbed my purse and, together, we headed out of the dorms and all crawled into my dad's new Mercedes SUV that cost him well over one hundred grand. I couldn't help but appreciate the way the leather formed around my backside. It was so comfortable that I almost hated the thought of having to deal with Bailey's tiny Honda ever again.

We made little small talk as we drove to the restaurant; well, my mother and I made small talk— dad just stayed quiet and brooding. By the time we pulled up to the Met Grill, the butterflies in my stomach were at it again. I was nervous to see Jake. I was nervous to see him around my parents. I was nervous for my dad to sit anywhere near him.

I had texted Bailey on my way there and let her in on all the details. She had replied with a simple, "LOL." Some best friend she was. As I was getting out of the luxury vehicle another text came through saying that we would "chat later" and to not let my dad kill my boyfriend. I rolled my eyes and shook my head at her before spotting Jake's car in the parking lot. My heart instantly started racing. He was already here. I picked up my pace, moving in front of my parents to enter in the restaurant first, seeing their reflections in the glass of the door. They were both looking at one another, a knowing looking on my mom's face and an aggravated one on my dad's.

I pushed through the front doors and found Jake sitting alone at a green booth just big enough for four. I could see him wearing a white button down shirt, the top few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up casually to just below his elbows, dark colored jeans and black boots barely peeking out from underneath the table. He looked so hot… and we almost matched perfectly. It was almost like we planned it.

He looked up from his cell phone and saw me. His mouth dropped open and his eyes widened. He gave me a very appreciative look as he stood from his seat while the hostess trailed behind me furiously, saying something about me needing to wait to be seated. I could have cared less. Not with sex on a stick waiting for me, lady!

Jake grabbed my hand and kissed it, his eyes closing briefly before locking his heated gaze with mine. "Gorgeous," was all he said. And it was enough to make me want his lips elsewhere. I smiled at him and let him lead me into the booth as he waited for my parents to catch up.

"Mister and Missus Cullen," Jake greeted correctly this time. I fidgeted in my seat, remembering his slip from earlier. I felt for him. My dad was being overbearing on purpose. He never treated Todd like this and that angered me. As a matter of fact, he insisted that Todd call him Edward— at all times!

"Jacob," my mother smiled up at him, allowing him to help her into the booth. "Thank you. It's so nice to see you again."

"You, too."

"Mmm," my dad hummed a greeting stiffly before slouching in next to my mom, giving me a look that was chastising to say the least.

_Get the stick out of your butt, would ya, dad?"_

Jake took his seat and gazed down at me, intertwining our fingers together underneath the table. I gave him a flushed smile and hid my face from my dad's narrowed gaze, appearing to look down at my menu, although I didn't see anything. All I could concentrate on was Jake warm, large hand wrapped around mine. What was even more concerning was that I could tell that Jake was trying. The collared shirt said it all for him. I had never seen him in anything other than a tee-shirt. And the fact that he was trying to make up for his first impression, made my heart ache.

The server was quick about greeting us and taking our drink order. She walked away with a pleasant smile, sniffing out a good tip when she could see it.

"So, Jacob," my dad began. I felt Jake's hand tighten around mine. "What do you do exactly? Since I don't imagine you go to school with _my _daughter."

This time my hand squeezed his. Crap! Did he have to add that last bit? That wasn't the only thing that bothered me with my dad's inquiry. I should've known that this question would come along soon enough. My dad was not going to like the answer, so I softened the blow for him. "Jake is very talented. He's the lead singer of his own band." My dad choked on his water. My mother didn't look any less shocked. I ignored them and looked adoringly up at Jake who also looked surprised. "He's amazing. They all are."

"A band?!" My dad finally found his voice. I saw my mother's body jerk slightly as she moved almost unnoticeably. My father gave her a confused look and appeared to rub a sore shin underneath the flat of the tabletop.

My mother smiled at me and Jake, acting like she hadn't just kicked my dad. Oh, mom. "That's uh… interesting, Jacob. Is that how you met, Renesmee?"

My eyes closed for a second time in worry. Double crap! "Yes," I replied before Jake could answer. They didn't need to know I met him— half-drunk— at a club, in a line waiting to use the bathroom.

Jake's brow lifted as he looked down at me. My dad peered down at his menu, looking disinterested in the conversation while he asked unpleasantly, "Where are from then, Jacob, Los Angeles?"

"No. I'm from La Push." Again, he got two very shocked looks from my parents.

"La Push?" My dad repeated making sure he heard correctly.

"Yes," Jake was sure to make eye contact as he continued. "Ness and I realized that we kind of grew up near one another. You live in Forks, right?"

My dad cleared his throat. "Yes, well…" Edward's eyes made their way to mine and I wondered briefly if he was putting together the pieces of the night and day I spent up at Jake's dad house, close to my parents but too caught up with feelings of unease to meet them with Jake. Triple Crap! Did he know?

"My father is fond of La Push," my mother interrupted the uneasy silence at the table. "He used to visit often with one of his friends," she tapped her chin, trying to remember a name. "Harry something or other," she said with a flick of her dainty hand.

"Clearwater?" Jake offered.

"Yes," Bella perked up, recognizing the name. "That's it; Clearwater."

"I knew him, very well actually." Jake looked down at me, "that was Seth's dad."

"Oh," I nodded. "Was?"

"Yes. Harry died of a heart attack a few years ago."

"I'm sorry."

Jake nodded and looked towards my mom once more, appearing to recognize something as well. "What's your dad's name?"

"Charlie Swan."

Jake's brow raised in acknowledgment. "Chief Swan is your dad?"

Bella smiled tenderly at the mention of grandpa's name, but I was the one who began talking because of my sincere amazement. "_You_ know _my_ grandfather?"

Jake shrugged. "I know of him. He and my dad went fishing a few times, I think."

Bella's eyes zeroed in on him. "Is your last name Black?"

"Yes."

"Well this a surprise, my goodness," my mother gushed. "Such a small world, isn't it?"

My dad didn't look pleased at all. "Yes, darling. Are you ready to order?" Bella frowned at him, but relayed her order when the server came back to the table. Jake didn't let my hand go once. He also charmed the socks off of my mom, if she were wearing any, but by the end of the meal, my dad still wasn't a fan.

I barely ate three bites of my meal or the surprise cake that came out for me and my mom with two candles on top; one for me and one for her. I was still so nervous, so I wished that that my dad would let up, since the knot in my tummy wasn't. I finally figured out that it had something to do with Edward. Until he accepted Jake, I guessed that I would feel like this. Whether, I approved with how my dad was treating Jacob, he was still my father and his opinion meant the world to me. I loved him too much not to care about what he thought.

Eventually, we all made our way out to the parking lot. My mom invited Jake to come shopping with us again, and, Jacob, of course, accepted the invitation before my mom offered that we all ride in the same vehicle. When Jake saw the SUV we were all heading towards, his eyes widened once again. He threw me a disbelieving glance, but had the grace to open the door for me and Bella. My dad took immediate notice of my boyfriend's chivalry.

_See, dad… he's not so bad_.

With a sideways glance my dad hopped into the driver's seat and couldn't avoid returning my mother's smile; though it was tight and uneasy, he could never deny her anything if it made her happy.

Jake slid behind the driver's seat, his long legs just barely having enough room to be comfortable. I scooted to the center, wanting to be next to him, and fasted my seat belt, ignoring my dad's eyes in the rearview mirror. Jake threw an arm around me, settling me into his side. It was the first time I had felt relaxed all day.

We spent the next several hours in and around Seattle, going in and out of shops and boutiques. Anything I looked at with any type of appreciation, my mother insisted to buy. She stammered on about never getting to see me and letting her spoil me while she could. I relented eventually, knowing it was no use. I was their only child after all, and I knew it would do no good. My mom also bought a few things for Bailey, who she was surprised hadn't joined us today. I had made excuses for my best friend, knowing that she was making up for lost time with Paul. Bailey would be upset that she missed this, though. She also loved my parents and always spent time with them when they came into town.

While my mother wasn't looking I bought her a small charm for a bracelet my dad bought her before they had me. It was white gold heart, spelling out the word "mom" in the center, a small diamond situated in the "O." It wasn't much, but it didn't take much to please my mom and she hated getting gifts; so, I knew if I gave her something small she would accept it without reservations.

Jake and my dad eventually had gotten tired of watching us flit through racks and racks of clothing and had wandered over to an electronic store nearby. I watched them walk away with more than concern lining each of my features.

My mother put a calming hand on my shoulder. "Let them spend some time together, Nessie."

"But I'm afraid dad will do or say something," I kept watching them, trying to read my father's expression, through the back of his graying coppered head.

Bella gave me a reproachful look. "Give your father more credit than that. You have to put yourself in his shoes, honey. Can you imagine how things looked to us when we walked into your room this morning?"

I threw my head into a circular clothing rack, hiding my heating face filled with embarrassment. "Please don't remind me."

"What were you thinking, Renesmee? And where was Bailey during all of this?"

"Mom… please, let's not talk about this, okay?"

"Fine… just please tell me you are using protection."

My head revisited the clothing rack. "Oh, God! We're not having sex mom!" I said it so loudly that I knew a few other patrons turned to look.

My mother fidgeted beside me. "Will you at least let me make you an appointment to get on birth control?"

OH. MY. GOD! "Seriously, mom?"

"Yes," she sounded frustrated. "I've seen you with him honey. He's very handsome and I can see why you are attracted to him and I also see the way he looks at you. It's… obvious that you two share a _special_ connection," I backed up and gave her my attention, she was just too damn observant for my own good. "I just don't want my daughter…" she lowered her voice, "getting pregnant before she's even finished college."

"Well you would know what that's like, wouldn't you?" I snidely added. That earned me a very- I'm-your-mother-and-you-just-crossed-a-line-you-ca n't-come-back-from look. Quadruple crap! Even I knew that was a low blow.

I let out with a huff. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I will go to the student clinic Monday and get on birth control if it makes you feel better."

She exhaled slowly, but not without looking somewhat hurt by my harsh comment. "Thank you. That would make me feel much better." Then, she surprised me by smiling. "Now let's go find your father before he decides to really kill your boyfriend." We both giggled and walked a little too quickly toward the store we had seen them entering.

Several hours later, we were dropping Jake off at his car. He had fallen in love with a new Bose surround sound system at the electronic store. Little did he know that my mom decided that she needed to buy it for him. She purchased it after we left and surprised the shit out of him when she came walking out of the store with it a few minutes later.

I had to give him credit; he handled the situation very well. He also didn't know if he should accept it, but thought it was also rude not to. He ended up offering to pay her for it, but she gave him a thoroughly offended look and disregarded everything he said until he decided to thank her and my dad for it. Did I need to mention that dad also looked… _surprised_ at the gift as well? The fact that he didn't say anything about it, told me that he was warming up to Jacob. It was kind of hard not to; he just had something about him that drew everyone in.

My dad also couldn't hide his approval of Jake's car. It was one of my dad's weak spots, after all. I watched with a smile as Edward ran an appreciative hand over the glossy, black surface, whistling when Jake popped the hood for him.

"Want to take her for a drive?" Jake asked, dangling the keys in front of my dad like a piece of bacon over a salivating dog.

My dad grinned and clasped the keys in his hand, giving my mom a look that explained how he was trying to subdue his excitement in Jake's presence. The knot that had been in my stomach all day lessened considerably.

While he and Jake peeled dangerously fast out of the parking lot at the Metropolitan Grill, my mom and I climbed into the SUV, promising to meet the guys back at the dorms.

We waited for at least thirty minutes in my dorm room, having hauled all of my gifts from my family back in Forks and the ones they had gotten me up three flights of stairs. I had given my mom her gift in the meantime and was grateful when tears flooded her eyes and she accepted it with a gratifying hug. I may or may not have let a few tears stray out as well.

By the time our men walked into my room, my mother and I were watching a movie on my laptop. I was always surprised with the way my mother could seamlessly flow into my lifestyle here at the dorms. She hadn't grown up with rich parents, sometimes she was just as comfortable with having less than having more. Either way, she looked very at ease lying on my tiny, uncomfortable bed, not looking a day over thirty-five, even though she was.

I was surprised to see that my dad was actually laughing at something Jacob said, giving him a paternal pat on his shoulder as they shuffled through the door together. Both my mother and I watched in astonishment, a smile playing on both our faces at the duo.

"I'm going to get myself one, you can count on it," my dad continued their previous conversation as he came in and kissed my mom before placing a fatherly kiss on my forehead. "How are my beautiful girls?" Well he was in a much better mood. This was the dad I knew and loved, but what happened to the dad from this morning?

My jaw was still slack as I answered. "Uhm… fine." Jake kept his distance, giving me a wink that made the butterflies in my tummy sigh wistfully.

My mother yawned. "I've had such a lovely day, but I'm getting tired."

"Ready to head home, then?" My dad's face smoothed as he watched the love of his life. Ugh- they made me sick. She nodded through another yawn and threw her legs over the bed, slipping back into her blue Jimmy Choo's. Jake excused himself to the bathroom once more, giving us a moment alone together.

As soon as he closed the door, I looked up at my dad. "So you don't totally hate him, right?"

My dad lowered himself until we were eye level. He shuffled some hair behind my ear and looked at me tenderly. "I'll admit, it wasn't my most favorite moment, Nessie. This morning," he began, stopping when I threw my hands up and waved him not speak any further about it. "But, Jacob is a very nice young man and he treats you well." I sighed feeling the knot loosen some more, but, then it tightened when my dad gave me a certain look. "Having said that, I'm not sure how I feel about his profession or the way he looks at you." We all heard Jake turn on the sink in the bathroom and knew we needed to hurry our conversation. "We'll talk about this later, yes?" I nodded at him, not sure if I felt better or worse. "Just promise me I'll never find you in bed with him again and I will feel much better."

Jacob came out right at that moment and I had to pick my jaw off the floor. Did my dad just really say that to me?

We walked my parents out and I hugged my goodbyes, missing them even more now that they were leaving. Jake tucked me under his arm as we waved at their red tail lights glowing in the dark of the night. My dad honked his horn once and I let a deep breath seep out when they were no longer in sight.

"So I survived the firing squad," Jake squeezed my shoulder playfully, his cologne making me smile as well. He just always smelled so damn good, I almost forgot everything else… almost.

I giggled at him and offered up my lips for a much needed kiss. He gave into my wants and took my breath away, as usual. If only my stomach hadn't interrupted to mention its hunger, I was sure the kiss would have deepened.

He chuckled. "Hungry?" he asked against my lips.

"Starved." He pulled me to his car and decided he wanted some of Al's famous pizza. I didn't know how I felt about going in on my day off, but I didn't care at this point. We drove quickly to the restaurant, agreeing to meet Bay and Paul there.

I was anxious to spend some time with my best friend. I couldn't wait to tell her all that had happened the night before! I had yet to express my extreme appreciation for my very first—and second— orgasm. I also needed to know what to do next. Bailey would know exactly what to tell me.

"Hey guys," Leisha greeted when we sat at one of her tables. "Want something to drink?"

"Hey Leish," I replied, sleeking around to the center of a half-circle booth. "Yes, thanks, I'll take a diet."

"Gotcha. For you, Jake?"

"A beer. Anything on draft." She shuffled away with a smile, her angelic face lighting up as she shifting her long, dark ponytail into a neat bun. For a moment, I wondered how she and Seth were getting along. Last time I saw them together was when he picked her up from work one night. He was obviously as smitten as she was.

"Well, I see that you're still alive," Bailey hit Jake in the arm before sliding in next to me. Paul laughed behind her and waited until she was situated before dropping into the booth.

"Once I lived past being caught in bed with his daughter, the rest was a piece of cake."

Paul choked. "He caught you in bed together?" He looked at Bay accusingly. "You didn't tell me that."

She shrugged. "It wasn't your business."

"Jesus!" Paul looked for any marks on Jake. "I'm surprised I'm not carrying your casket right now."

"Me, too, honestly. But we had our clothes on, so it could've been worse." I flushed at Jake's words.

"Fuck yeah," Paul drew several looks from a few aggravated mother and fathers for his choice of language. "Damn, could you imagine what would have happened if he caught you while you were—" Bailey elbowed his ribs silencing him immediately. Paul gave her a nasty look and rubbed the spot where she hit him before picking a safer topic to talk about with Jacob.

"So," Bailey whispered, her blue eyes sparkling in the light as she looked over me.

"So, what?" I asked, unable to fight my smile. Her brow raised and she pursed her lips. I knew what she was waiting for me to talk about. Even though I was wanting to spill my guts, I played innocent, wanting to tease her for as long as possible.

"So—what happened last night?" She saw that I was going to string her along some more and stopped me before I had the chance. "After you left the club and made it back to the dorm and before your mom and dad caught you in bed."

"So you're not looking for anything specific," I laughed at her frustrated expression, noticing Jake's eyes flicker towards me every few seconds, like he was trying to listen to our hushed conversation.

"Spill it, chick!"

I turned in the booth to face her and lowered my voice. "It was—ah—in-freaking-credible!"

She giggled and leaned closer so the boys wouldn't overhear. "What did you do? How far did you go— tell me everything!"

I cupped my hand around her ear and began retelling every last detail of the previous night. Jake was stifling a smile, the corners of his lips picking up as he tried to give Paul his full attention. Bailey gasped and nodded at all the right times as I relayed everything until the moment I woke up this morning.

"Damn."

"I know," I sighed wistfully at all the lovely memories. I looked over at the guys at the table, wishing we could escape to the bathroom to finish our conversation; however the fact that the facilities here were small and reserved for only one person, It wouldn't be appropriate if we both went in together. "I just…" I peeked over at Jake to make sure he couldn't hear me and lowered my voice. "Wish that I knew what to do next."

Bailey back away and tapped against her lip thoughtfully. "Well," she finally began to answer; "there is a lot of stuff you could do, but how far did you want to go exactly? Do you think you are ready to," she gave me a knowing look and shrugged suggestively, "You know?"

I felt my face heat. I thought back to last night and how close we had come to christening the shower. Afterwards, I had experienced my first orgasm. It was earth shattering… of course I wanted more.

"Yes," I replied without reservations. Even though she smiled back at me, I noticed the concern tightening around her eyes.

She spent several minutes offering some pretty impressive ideas that I would have never thought of, like, ever! I made a mental note to do a little shopping to accommodate a few of her suggestions. Our conversation started veering over her night with Paul. It would appear I wasn't the only who had an explosive night. I highly doubted that I was going to be eating off their kitchen table anytime soon.

Eventually, the men at the table were starting to include us in their discussion and Bailey and I parted there before I told her about my day.

"My parents missed seeing you, by the way."

"Aw, I know, I miss them, too. We should plan a trip home soon."

"We should, I miss them so much. They got a few outfits for you when we were out shopping."

"I missed a Cullen shopping spree; damn?!" Bailey huffed and played with the straw in her water glass Leisha had brought over while I was telling her all my secrets.

"I know, they bought Jake a new surround sound."

"Sweet!" Paul called out so loud it made me jump. "We got a new surround sound?"

Jake nodded and smirked. "Bose. Top of the line."

"Damn! How loaded are your folks?" he asked me with wide eyes. I looked down at the table, not liking the question at all and hoping no one overheard. Bailey slapped him in the same spot as before with the back of her hand.

"You're such a jackass sometimes."

"What'd I say?"

Leisha brought out a pizza twenty minutes later and joined us for the remainder of our stay, grateful that she wasn't too busy to get some gossiping-time in. Apparently, Gabby, one of the regular server's during the week, had been stealing money from the register. Al's brother, Pauly, had caught her skimming off the top earlier and fired her on the spot. Bailey and I both groaned at the prospect of having to pick up a few weeknight shifts. I knew I never liked that girl. Bailey expressed, with a few choice expletives, that she felt the same way.

That night, Bailey and I went back to the dorms alone. We needed to get in some serious study time and we didn't need two insanely hot distractions misdirecting us any further. Before ten o'clock, we were both in bed, having been entirely spent from the emotionally draining, past few days.

The next morning, I took my time getting ready for my Fictional Writing class. It was one of my favorite classes because it let me have free reign on my creative skills. After class, I walked over to a near-campus coffee shop and plopped down at a table. I had several hours before my next class and I was anxious to get started on my new assignment. We were supposed to come up with a children's fable and I had a great idea about a lion…

_Gee, I wonder why?!_

I began typing away, sipping on my pumpkin-spiced latte every now and then. I was so consumed in my work that I nearly jumped a foot in the air when a familiar voice sounded in my ears.

Todd was standing in front of my table, his hair perfectly styled and his khaki pants creased down the center with a fine line. His argyle sweater was even pretentious; as was the leather messenger bag draped over his shoulder.

"Uh, hi," my voice sounded more like a question than a greeting. I shifted in my chair uneasily, still hearing the rasp in my voice from the other night's events, which made me flush at all the wonderful thoughts.

"May I join you?" he asked, gesturing down to the chair that sat across from me. He didn't give me time to say anything before he took the seat.

"Sure, why not?" I muttered under my breath.

"So, Ness, how've you been?"

"Fine," I replied. I was not fine; well, at least not right this very second.

"I've been good, too," he offered, though I hadn't asked. Ugh, he made me nauseated just looking at him. Darn it! Why'd he have to be so good looking?

"What are you doing here?" _Other than stalking me_, I wanted to ask.

"I go to school here." I knocked my latte over at the incoming information. I recovered it quickly, dabbing the light colored coffee off the table with a nearby napkin.

Maybe I hadn't heard right. "I'm sorry, but did you just say that you went to school here?"

"Yes."

_Close your mouth, you look like a dying fish! _ I clasped my lips closed, trying to not look shocked. "Since when?"

"Since Fall semester started," he explained, his eyes looking down the napkin I was ripping to shreds.

"I've never seen you on campus." It sounded like an accusation.

"I'm studying Business Law," he confessed, "and there are thousands of people on campus. I doubt that you would have noticed me even if you saw me." Oh, I would've noticed alright… and ran the other direction. Jerk!

_You forgave him, remember? _

"Hmmm," was all I could mumble as I saved my story and shut my laptop with an audible click. "I got class soon, so I should get going." I stood and stuffed my computer into my canvas satchel.

"Can I walk you to your class?"

I stopped my struggling efforts to zip up my bag and threw the flap over instead. "That's not necessary, thank you," I replied tightly.

He stood as well. "I know it's not, but I'd like to do it anyway. It'll give us a chance to catch up."

Okay, just breathe and be polite. "I'd rather not, but thank you."

He swung his messenger bag over his shoulder and grabbed mine before I could do the same. "Don't be ridiculous it would be my pleasure." He stalked off towards the door, leaving me speechless and wishing he hadn't taken my bag with him.

I all but stomped off after him and tried to retrieve my computer but he pushed my hands away and continued to walk.

"Todd," I was breathless as I caught up with him. "Please give me back my bag."

"Not until you agree to let me walk you to class," he smiled down at me in a way that made my heart feel funny. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. He was anything if not persistent.

"I don't have class for another hour at least," I admitted, taking advantage of his disbelief to grasp my bag off his muscular shoulder and slip it onto mine.

He actually had the gall to look hurt. "You lied to me? You've never lied to me… ever"

"I didn't lie to you… I do have class soon."

He tilted his head to the side and regarded me. I squirmed under his intense gaze, wondering why I was still standing there when I had already rescued my satchel out of a hostage situation. Really there was nothing keeping me here, but my legs didn't want to move.

"So you just didn't want to spend time with me?" he finally asked.

"Can you blame me?"

"But I thought you forgave me."

"I did. But…"

"But, what?" he questioned, crossing his arms over his chest. He'd make a good lawyer one day, I thought. He definitely already looked the part; he was just missing the suit. His bright blue eyes were interrogating enough and the fact that he knew me for most of my life didn't help matters. I had to be truthful with him.

"Honestly, I forgave you but that doesn't change what happened and I don't have room in my life for people that would purposefully hurt me; whether they intended to or not."

"I said I was sorry."

"And I said I had forgiven you, but that doesn't make us friends again. I don't even know you anymore."

He took a step closer and my heart began thumping in my chest. He looked over my face heatedly, his arms dropping by his sides. "That's not my fault. I've tried."

"I never said…" I began, but paused when he leaned in closer. I knew that look in his eyes. Man, did I ever. And I was genuinely afraid he was going to kiss me, so I took a step back. "I need to go."

"Will you at least agree to go to lunch with me sometime?"

"I—"

"Don't say no until you've given it some thought," he said brushing his hand across my cheek. The familiar warmth of his hand sent my pulse racing. I hated that he still had this effect on me. "We were best friends once. We can be that again… can't we?"

I was frozen solid, my insides responding to him without my brain allowing it. I was just grateful Jake wasn't anywhere near. My eyes searched around the crowded complex just to make sure there wasn't a certain WolfPack member lurking in the shadows. I did spot someone watching us, and I grounded my teeth together when I recognized her familiar blonde hair and glaring blue eyes.

"I really have to go," I ducked around Todd and made my way towards Bailey. I felt Todd's intense gaze on my back as I walked away, but I had to put some distance between us before I did something I would regret.

Bailey was sitting cross-legged on a park bench under a tree, her books sprawled across her lap as she enjoyed the unusual sunshine of Seattle. When I tossed my satchel on the bench next to her and flopped down on it, I was flushing in response to her disbelieving eyes.

"What. The. Fuck. Was. That?" she asked slowly.

"A mistake."

"Obviously, but why?"

I covered my face with my hands and leaned forward, putting my elbows on my knees. My heart was still setting a furious beat in my chest. "I don't know. I was just working on an assignment in the coffee shop and he just showed up." I finally looked up to her. "He goes to school here."

Her head dropped towards me incredulously. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Would I joke about something like that?"

"No. But that doesn't explain why he was touching you. From here it didn't look like you minded very much, either. I thought you were going to kiss there for a second."

"I thought he was going to kiss me for a second."

"Shit."

"My thoughts exactly."

We sat there until I had to get to my next class, changing to subject to Jake and Paul and planning to go see them perform tonight at one of the clubs they were playing at. Bailey was going to call and invite Leisha along for a girl's night out before we met up with the guys after the show.

Even though I willed it not to happen, Todd stayed burned into my head all throughout my Literary Criticism class. The course was boring enough as it was, trying to find symbolism in early British Literature when there really wasn't any implied; but it had let me to think about all the symbolism in my life and how it all centered around Todd. Ugh… I was in trouble.

That night, Bailey and I had put on some of our new outfits. She chose a little black dress that she claimed was her new "go to" for every occasion. Some dark pink, satin heels, a long, dangly silver necklace and matching studs completed her flawless look. She was runway material.

I had stuck more to the basics, throwing on some black skinny jeans, a white, fitted, high collared sleeveless blouse, and a small, cropped, black leather jacket. It definitely fit the dark, edgy mood I was in. I had managed a few minutes for some make-up and finished the look with a pair of short, black, peep-toe wedges. Bailey insisted on some onyx drop earrings and necklace. Apparently, they complemented my long, curly hair and made me look like a "rocker's girlfriend." Since I was exactly that, I tried to go with it, grabbing a clutch from my closet that I knew Bailey had had her eye on for some time before filling with the essentials.

I willingly agreed to be the designated driver in case she could score a few drinks, even though we were underage only by a year now… well, for me, two days from now. I tried not to think of my birthday. I didn't like celebrating it under any circumstances. It could disappear for all I cared.

My thoughts floated back to the night I last really celebrated it in high school. I was 17 and was having an indoor pool party at my dad's parents' house. Everything had started out fine until a fight broke out between my friends over a boy. I don't even remember his name now, but it didn't matter. Then, as I was blowing out my candles my hair caught fire. I winced at the memory. Good thing there was a pool nearby. I just wished I hadn't ruined my party dress in the process. Chlorine did horrible things to silk. A few hours later, my grandmother Renee called to wish me a happy birthday. I could tell that she sounded off, so I prodded her until she broke down and told me that her husband, Phil, had been in a horrible car accident. Obviously, my day of birth was just bad luck. I had thought back to all my birthdays and each one of them had something go wrong. Maybe I was just bad luck; either way… I refused to celebrate it ever again. I didn't even count my meeting with my parents yesterday as a real celebration, because it wasn't, I was just placating them.

By the time we made it to the club, I was regretting my promise not to drink. I could use a stiff one right now… a few, perhaps. We got in without having to wait in line and slinked into a table that had an awesome view of the stage. I looked around for Jake, knowing he was here because the tingly butterflies in my tummy told me so. I spotted him quickly as he stood almost a head taller than anyone else. He was near a table full of torrential women, smiling charmingly down at them. One girl kept pawing at him like he was stripper. It set my teeth on edge. I told him that I didn't want girls touching him, damn it! I knew it was kind of unavoidable, given his position, but, jeez, he looked be enjoying it! And he wasn't slapping her hands away, like I wished he would do. Instead, he touched her chin and made her swoon by the mere sight of his gorgeous smile.

The longer I sat and watched him flirt, the more angry I became. Soon, other girls felt the need to touch him as well. I was struggling with the urge to go beat some sense into him—and them— or just leave altogether. The only thing that kept me in my chair was the fact that a small part of me wanted to see how far he'd go when he didn't think I was looking. I was just a little afraid to find out that information as well. It could most certainly end us.

He must have sensed me shooting metaphorical daggers at him because all of a sudden, he turned and found my gaze over the large, crowded dance floor. He looked shocked to see me, although I didn't know why because I texted him a few hours ago and told him I would be here. Either he could win an Oscar for his performance or he was honestly surprised to see me. I didn't like the thought of him playing games with me. I tried to cool my temper as he made his way over to our table. Bailey had seen the whole thing and excused herself to go get some drinks for us, saying that she'd have Paul drive us home because even she needed a drink after witnessing all of that.

"Hey," Jake came up behind me and kissed my cheek. I stiffened at the contact but kept my mouth shut. "I didn't know you were coming tonight," he took the seat next to me and had the decency to look remorseful.

"I texted you that I was going to be here, but now all I'm wondering is what you are doing every night you don't think I'm around," I looked down at my fingers ringing together in my lap.

"Absolutely nothing," he was quick to answer.

My eyes sprang to his immediately. "That didn't look like you were doing nothing."

"It was harmless," he tried to push it off like it meant zilch to him. Was he actually stupid enough to think it did mean anything to me?

My temper decided to peek out. "Well, I don't like girls touching you!"

"I don't like it either, but Seth says it's good for publicity," he replied with a nonchalant shrug. Did he have any idea what it felt like to watch someone you care for be pawed at like a damn cat?

I snapped! "Oh quit acting like you're famous or something; you're playing in glorified bars for Christ's sake!" The moment it slipped out, I instantly regretted it. Jake jerked back in his chair, his brow pulling together, matching the tension around his jaw. He was hurt; it was written all over his face. My anger ebbed slightly away, only fitting in enough for guilt, which left me with no good feelings at all! "I'm sorry…"I looked down at my lap once more

"No you're not," his harsh tone whipped around me, violently urging my gaze to return to his "Just yesterday you were telling your parents how amazing I was and now I'm only good enough to play in _bars?_ Why don't you tell me how you really feel or were you just putting on a good show for_** daddy**_?" He said "daddy" in such a way that made me recoil; like it was a bad word and meant to hurt me because a certain wealthy status that I loathed completely.

Damn… here was vindictive Jake, all mean spirited and tense. If he wasn't so incredibly hot right now, I'm sure I would have given him something to be angrier about, but I could hear the hurt beyond his spiteful words. I knew I was walking on a thin line with his patience, which could be said for him as well. Did all men have the capacity to make a woman feel like the size on an ant at times?

_Uhm… hello, he's only trying to make you feel like shit because he fucked up! Remember that! _My brain reminded me.

Oh… right. I glared at him and leaned over the table so he could hear me. "That's low, even for you." I sat back in my chair and crossed my arms, wanting to put some distance between us. "And I'm only angry because I saw those girls all over you. And do I need to remind you of how you weren't fighting them off?" I scoffed before adding. "I can't believe you have the gall to sit here and turn things around on me just because you crossed a line that I'm not okay with."

"Ness?" Another male voice spoke over the loud music. Jake and I turned in unison towards the voice, our postures very offensive. I froze for the second time today. Son of a bitch! You've got to be kidding me! This just wasn't my week.

"What in the hell are you doing here?" Bailey asked in her no-holds-barred way. She skirted around Todd and sat down at the table, placing a pink drink in front of me. I downed the Sprite tasting drink in one shot. Bailey gave me a look that said she had just paid ten bucks for it and did appreciate me downing it in a second.

"Ness invited me here," Todd said, shocking the hell out of everyone at the table. I felt the urge to pick my jaw up off the floor when I felt Jake's accusing eyes on me. A part of me wanted to act like I had invited Todd and spend a few minutes giving Jake a taste of his own medicine, but that wasn't me. I had never been the type of person that was malicious.

I finally found my voice when Bailey gave me a good kick under the table. "Uh, Todd… I didn't invite you." Wow, that didn't even sound convincing to my ears.

He plucked his phone from his pocket and pressed a few buttons before showing me the text… The text that I had sent to Jacob.

_**Hey, I'll be at the 411 tonight. **_

_**See you around 10, K?**_

_**Miss you,**_

_**~Ness**_

Jacob's eyes flashed with resentment and I knew he saw the text as well. How in the hell could I make such a stupid mistake?! That text was never meant for Todd! Why did my brain overlook that fact?

"I didn't…" I began denying it to Jake immediately, but the evidence was kind of hard to look over. "I meant to send that to you."

Well that explains why Jake looked surprised to see me. Unfortunately, it also made me realize that he may not be as faithful as he puts off. The knots in my stomach from yesterday tightened in my belly, causing the butterflies to shrink between the ties.

"Are you saying that you didn't mean to send me the text?" Todd began, looking a little deflated. "But what about this afternoon?"

Jake's furious eyes were on me in a second and I could see the pulse in his neck beating frantically. "Yeah, Ness— what_** about**_ this afternoon?" He questioned scornfully. Damn, he was pissed.

I looked at Todd and wished the sprinklers above the catwalk would come on so he could melt like the damn Wicked Witch of the West!

"We had coffee together," Todd felt the need to add, making the situation even worse for me. Jake stood instantly and towered over me, a warning blaze glowing in his dark eyes. Like Medusa, he could have turned me to stone right there.

"What the fuck? Seriously?" Bailey chided at the lying stack of shit standing behind her.

"I did not have coffee with you!" I said at Todd, turning towards my boyfriend who was trying his best to hide his trembling hands. "Jake, stop. Please sit down. It's not what it looks like."

His responding laugh was menacing. "Oh yeah? Then what the fuck is he doing here," he pointed at Todd with an angry finger, not even allowing himself to look the guy's way for fear he may do something he couldn't take back.

"Jake, calm down, it was nothing," Bailey tried to intervene, but one look from him shut her up.

"Nothing?" He said to me instead of Bailey. "It doesn't look like nothing," he spat out at me with narrowed eyes, replaying my words in a cynical way. He got unearthly still and lowered his voice so much I just barely heard him say. "No… it looks like you're not the only one questioning this relationship right now." My heart plummeted out of my chest and onto the cold, concrete glittery floor of the night club as Jake stalked angrily away. Todd took that moment to sit down at the table as though he had been invited. And while my best friend decided to tell him just the opposite was true, my legs finally found the strength to chase after the one guy I really cared about. What in the hell was I going to do?

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